Handling Criticism…
July 12, 2010 by Guest Blogger
The World Cup is over, the hype has decreased and we are left with only anticipation for new things…ladies will stop drooling/perving, all these players are leaving/ have left!! Phewww…We have criticized a lot during the World Cup things that we were not happy with. So to cut the story short I decided to write a piece about handling criticism. All you have to do is to grab that comfy chair and start scrolling down the article with enjoyment. If you’re reading this while taking a walk I plead you to stand near a pole or something because you might end up being hit by cars while you’re hooked on this piece!!
I know enough has been said about criticism, I plead you to stop yawning already or take your curiosity pills and start reading my different version of handling criticism!
When you’re criticized you sometimes look down upon yourself because what immediately hits your mind is the fact that you have failed somewhere and someone had to spot your errors. Well I’ve got something to cheer you up, criticism is not to pull you down but to lift you up, how? When someone tells you that you’re not on the right track it means that they want the best of you, so they want to see you on the right track! It’s like being told on a daily basis to fasten your seat belt, we know you have been driving for a decade, but a road accident knows no master of the steering wheel so stop being stubborn or you will make Avbob rich!!
With that being said, we have those who suffer from ‘pull them down’ syndrome and its a severe disease because critics who suffer from this syndrome always want to pull others down with no good reason, this may break that particular person being criticized!
My dictionary says criticism is : looking for faults, pointing out faults!..
People must learn to find better ways to point out faults, its like an audience booing a person who is performing on stage to stop whatever he/she is doing and leave the stage! This is sad, yes there are people you cannot really listen to when they are on stage, but shouting that they must get off stage is something else!
South African celebs are sometimes said to be failing to accept criticism, but I say that we are the ones who cause that failure! Some of us don’t know about constructive criticism or we are not aware that there is a proper way to criticize a person…
For example a fan says to the celeb “you cannot sing, stick to what you do best which is acting”…this is not a proper way to criticize a person instead your breaking that person…
Another fan may say “your radio show rocks a lot, but can you give the callers enough time to speak” so now you see this what we call constructive criticism!
The issue of criticism is not only amongst celebs but even at the workplace..
For example a worker buys a car and a colleague compliments the new ride but in a very criticizing way…“That’s a nice car, but I prefer sedan than a hatchback or I don’t like a red car” this is nonsense, you prefer sedan, so that doesn’t mean your colleague must also prefer a sedan….you see now?? This is how criticism changes to hating, because that colleague might think you’re just jealous!
I would like to quote Elvis Presley’s words “Don’t criticize what you don’t understand, son. You never walked in that man’s shoes.”
This is like criticizing a divorced couple, asking them why divorce was their last resort, you’re not in that person’s situation so you cannot criticize, its their choice!
Did you know that some people quit/resign at work because they can’t handle criticism, best friends end their friendship because one cannot accept criticism, families split up because of the issue of lacking appropriate ways to handle criticism???
My 7 ways for celebs & ordinary people to handle criticism are:
- Understand that not every person wants to pull you down but they want you to change for the best!
- To only accept constructive criticism and leave what will not build you!
- Change the faults if they still appear as faults after being told by the critics, if they don’t you must continue doing your way!
- Turn your back when you come across negative people, facing them means you’re fighting a loosing battle because you will end up being like them!
- Learn to laugh at minor things, you’ve got fans to worry about so don’t dwell on criticism!
- Make sure criticism doesn’t affect your craft or your work because that will make things worst! Instead something good must come out of it!
- Don’t stop what you love doing just because some people are not impressed, instead find ways to boost whatever you’re doing!
Seven is a lucky number so I hope this will help, even Zola says ‘Ziwu seven maziphelele’
I guess all of us have been criticized before, from your high school days when you were told by your friends about your partner, that you were not compatible with each other, to being told that you have a bad hand writing even a doctor’s is better!
So share with us, about your not so constructive criticism you have received, how did you deal with it or how do you deal with it!
Do you have any ways that you think celebs and people may use to handle criticism?? We are always saying celebs cannot handle criticism, so come up with ways!!
Tell us we are extremely CURIOUS!!
By Menperc ©
Twitter: @Menperc
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soul sista on Mon, 12th Jul 2010 2:08 am
LOL @the 1st paragraph
This is a very tough one because I might say something and 2 people will perceive it in 2 different ways… and whether we criticize in a constructive way or not the next person will always hear what they want to hear and say we are HATING.
I’ll go with #5 for handling criticism
GA on Mon, 12th Jul 2010 3:18 am
I have particularly been walking around confused and disheartened by the WCSA critisisms. Most leaned on the “pull down syndrome” side than constructive…
But i loved that our leaders have jumped on the constructive critisism wagon instead of pretending like all was perfect which would be other extreme which isnt helpfull to the country as we move forward.
From The times this is what some say:
Retired archbishop Desmond Tutu told The Times yesterday: “This has been a wonderful World Cup, but it doesn’t negate the fact that the majority of South Africans don’t have houses, schools, clinics, running water and many more things.
“If we were able to deliver such a project in just six years, imagine what we could have achieved in 20 years.”
ANC spokesman Jackson Mthembu said the bar had been raised and South Africa could not drop below the standards it had set itself.
“Judging by the numbers, particularly our record time of building stadiums, airports and road infrastructure, makes us all ask why we can’t use this experience to better the lives of South Africans,” Mthembu said.
“This is an experience that has taught us that we can do it. If we could build those stadiums and roads, then we can build houses. This is not about the ANC but about all South Africans. If we all use the methodology of the successful World Cup, in South Africa every day, we will succeed and improve service delivery.
“Our people have shown that we are capable of doing things faster and smarter – so there is no going back now.”
Educationist and businesswoman Mamphela Ramphele said the country’s ability to excel must be harnessed to deal with crime, education, health and the economy.
Ramphele said: “Why did we need to show the world what we can do? We needed to show ourselves. It is not about the world needing to see what we can do. It was about our lack of self-confidence.
“Now that we have demonstrated that we can rise above a challenge and believe in ourselves, we must use this for a positive future.”
National police commissioner General Bheki Cele noted that South Africans will no longer tolerate failure.
He told police, army and metro police officers outside Soccer City yesterday that “the bad thing that you have done is that you have created a standard that you need to maintain”.
“Make sure that when the visitors are gone, South Africans are safe. You need to maintain the squeeze on criminals’ space and finish their oxygen,” Cele said.
http://www.timeslive.co.za/local/article545113.ece/Weve-done-it-
As usual The General is on his league.
Bravo SA…we have come a long way and wee have a long way to go still.
Shy Girl. on Mon, 12th Jul 2010 9:10 am
Good reading… Can I steal this and give to my cousin to read… she might learn a thing or two…
Bruised Ego on Mon, 12th Jul 2010 11:20 am
@Soulsista yeah that’s true we take criticism in different ways
@GA thanks for sharing that with us, interesting
Yeah @shy.girl you can use it! Lol thanks!
Groupie on Mon, 12th Jul 2010 12:29 pm
Nice article! I think I will forward to some1 as well.
Q-tee on Mon, 12th Jul 2010 2:12 pm
Nice read, its a pity the JC audience don’t like reading long articles..but I enjoyed this.
Critiscism is a very difficult thing to handle, coz most of the times it comes across as jelousy (which in other cases it is) the trick is to learn to differenciate.
Its also very sad that we think its right to trash celebrities work just because they don’t know us and we don’t know them personally and forget that they too are humans.
Nthoentle on Mon, 12th Jul 2010 3:54 pm
@Q-tee,you are right hey,sometimes e kare we forget that celebs r human too.
Personally I can take criticism, I can differenciate someone giving me contractive critizism to someone pulling me down nje! I just think we live in a negative society,and that is why people find contructive critism to be so difficult.
Brown Shuga on Mon, 12th Jul 2010 4:48 pm
Very well thought out article Menperc. I enjoyed reading it and love your 7 ways for handling criticism. Wish our celebs could read it.
It’s very easy to criticize but very difficult to take it so I respect people who can handle this without losing it & Lord knows there’s only a few of those around.
Bee10 on Mon, 12th Jul 2010 8:20 pm
Nice öne Menperc and ja even though only people commented but many read this so thats all important, that people change their stupid habits of ever criticizing (and this has nothing to do with people who state their honest opinions)
dont_mind_me on Tue, 13th Jul 2010 6:05 pm
FACT; SA celebs can’t handle criticism as bad as a darkie can’t swim!!!
Look at the resent Bonang saga… For once she couldn’t retweet what she tweets ‘ladies,Smile and wave’ instead she goes out to delete her account & create another one… Which will end up being followed by those ‘haters’ again.
‘Stupidity doesn’t knock on open doors’ … Or does it?
mshefane on Wed, 14th Jul 2010 10:28 am
nice.. this is a part of life and how one handles it will eventually determine what one learns and changes about themselves!
shybear on Thu, 15th Jul 2010 2:15 pm
Nyc article. Its very difficult to criticise a person especially if u dont know how they gona take it. I think it depends on the type of relationship u hav with that person or the way u say it. Take shwahswi for example, does she give constructive or negative critism?