TV’s 5 Most Abusive Male Characters

September 7, 2010 by Guest Blogger

Guest Blog By Shitshembiso Mabasa

In real life, abusive relationships are a nightmare to society and especially to the vulnerable woman. Though television is a construction of reality, such a disturbing reality is a form of entertainment to a certain extent – do not get me wrong I am not promoting woman abuse or man abuse *hides behind man abusers*. The inspiration behind this list is by the one and only #Ngozi – thanks to his character, Rhythm City was a hit during the 18:30 -19:00 TV slot.

It is typical of South African dramas and soapies to depict abusive relationships, from the likes of Gaz’lam to Generations. In a comical sick way, I find these characters very entertaining, as those who tweet could tell by my #Ngozitweets. Some viewers could relate to these TV characters, some were disgusted; especially women and the socially retarded were tickled. And starting off the list, here are my Top 5 TV Abusers in descending order (#5 – #1):

At #5: Ex-celeb couples – Khanyisile Mbau + Mandla Mthembu and Basetsana Khumalo + Dingane Thobela

Yes it is a tie indeed, there is no better way to start off the list than with our own celebs who are living proof that abuse happens to anyone, whether rich or poor.

Beauty and the beast – when they say, ‘do not bring your work at home’ it was because of Dingane; I think every time the pots made a sound Dingane thought it was a bell ring *usikile*. Not that I am blaming Bassie but what did she expect getting involved with a boxer? Guess the makeup and the flashy lights made her blind. Bassie must definitely have strong bones and nice genes phela uButi Dingane got a killer right hook. An Intelligent woman she is, she went for Mr. Vodacom – Romeo Khumalo; it just shows Dingane was on that MTN swag functions now and then.

Sugar Daddy and the Gold-digging hoe-dom – serves you right Mthembu for ukuthanda abantwana, guess he had to learn the hard way. Lil MissK spent Mthembu’s money so fast Oprah was like ‘why can’t they make a weight loss product of such calibre’. From R84million strong to nothing, beating her up was highly fair. I bet with every million wasted, Mthembu unleashed his inner karate-kid. But typical of Khanyi she showed off being beaten up in exchange for media attention. If she were a TV character, I’d say she deserved every bit of it “Kea mochaba Khanyi akadlali lowmtana, u tlakulisa mhisi tshuri sweswi hayi mundzuku.”

At #4: Dumisani Shabane from generations

The generation character played by Dumisani Mbebe, his victim is Khethiwe Buthelezi played by Winnie Modise. Mr smooth talker himself swept Khethiwe off her feet promised her the stars, what poor Khetiwe did not know is that stars are the same as the sun the closer one gets the hotter it gets. As an amateurish wife-beater he started with the usual arm-twisting and man-handling then he read the #NgoziManualOfWomanDiscipline. Love was really blind and forgiving on Khethiwe’s side because she did not see the fists heading for her face even now she is still with him. But Dumisani and Khethiwe complement each other since Dumisani got daddy/childhood issues and Khethiwe being the nag she is. Dumisani uses her as a stress reliever and poor Khethiwe is on that ‘one day one day he will change tip’ maybe she is will open her eyes and be realistic when the ANC keeps their promises but until then “Shapa Dumi Shapa!” this gal is irritating.

The remaining three are legends in my world; they have mastered the art of beating up a woman. They instilled massive fear on their victims & the thought of getting out of hand terrified their victims to no return. Even though I find these abusive fictional characters entertaining, I have to admit during their abusive acts I did feel sorry for the poor woman (yeah I got a heart lol).

At #3: Monde from Gaz’lam

Monde played by Tumisho Masha was a rich sweet talking #hungrylion vandal, his victim was the cute Thuli played by Bubu Mazibuko. As a single mother Thuli decided to get back on the dating scene (after what Monde did to her, never ever will she date again) by badLUCK Monde the vandal obtained the tender to her legs, so called happiness, and the other side of her bed. By the time Thuli discovered that Monde was dreadfully jealous and had a darkside ‘Yalla koto’. When Thuli decided to break up with him, she ignited his inner #Freddy – the relationship was a Friday the 13^th for Thuli. She got a restraining order ‘kuphi la’ it was like he took that piece of paper and wiped his ass; she paid dearly for such an action. Fortunately her baby daddy and the SAPS rescued her from the vandal – one thing the SAPS excel in is arresting woman abusers so if you are being abused dial 10111.

At #2: Daniel from home affairs

Finally some colour on the list, Daniel aka ‘the black sheep of white people’ played by Stephen van Niekerk supported by his punching bag Cherise van Tonder played by Therese Benade. Daniel dropped jaws during his abusive acts even white people were like ‘aint that a female dog, Bokkie we’re moving to Australia, we’re starting to be like them’.

When drugged up Daniel went to his own world – where poor Cherise was a terrorist and he was the USA; RMD – relationship of mass destruction. White boy be ka faka isbaqo while Cherise was pregnant, typical of a junkie she made a very stupid decision and threw away her baby after birth. That gave Daniel even more fire & power to be on his ‘Bee swagg’ luckily she did not die but would I be wrong to say she deserved it? Why did she abandon her own child? Daniel took it too far though because at that point he had a gun, like they say ‘you live by the gun you die by the gun’! For Daniel to be stopped, Cherise’s mom had to take one for the team and put a bullet in his head, pooow.

And at #1: the one and only king of woman abusers, the master mind *drum roll* – “Ngozi”

The man is so incredible, even his name says it all “Ngozi” aka ‘King Ngozi’ aka ‘Ngozi the Don’ aka ‘The master mind’ aka ‘Mr lights out’ aka ‘Danger’ aka ‘Xihuhuri’! I can even write a book about his aka’s, that is how legendary he is. The character Ngozi is played by Bongani Gumede his victim is the cute adorable shy Puleng played by Tebogo Khalo. Ngozi and Puleng’s relationship is of a high school teacher who knocks up his student (viva to that phela after 12 is lunch) after some years they meet up and decide to raise the baby together, matric. Strategic of Ngozi he asked her to move in with him knowing very well that he is broke and unemployed, thus Puleng becomes his meal ticket (viva to that again, the rent has to be paid by all means necessary).

Therefore in order for Ngozi to maintain power in the relationship and play the man role without even being the provider, he used several instruments such as physical discipline/dominance, matric, an engagement ring (lucky-packet ring, cost effective viva to being cheap) and last but not least his teaching degree lol. As a dictator Ngozi made sure poor Puleng learned the hard way; he made sure she obeyed without questioning, emphasised on confidentiality about their relationship and isolated her from her friends. But poor Puleng always broke the rules and you know how it goes via the Khuse’s backroom she got it bad; through punches, belt whippings (Ngozi has the best belt techniques ever, an Oscar award is not enough for such art), slapped her around and couple of kicks on the ribs now and then (Ngozi got a killer kick, he is a black belt).

Ngozi is an amazing wife beater and scary even his ex-wife and landlord bra Kop were terrified of him; it took a couple of people to beat him up, which was not fair. Puleng got on her POWA swag and stood up to the King. (For more about Ngozi go on twitter and search hashtags: #Ngozi and #TeamNgozi – classical and hilarious tweets.)

To cut a long story short such realities happen in our society and it is very sad. If you are a woman abuser “grow up! Beating her up will not make your penis big or make you a better man. And to the ladies, if he touches you once dump his ass, the early the better, because you can’t actually dump him when you’re in a coma. If your man is a combination of the following then run woman, run:

Got a small manhood
Insecure and jealous
Short- tempered
Alcoholic
And Is on drugs

And that’s all from me !

A Guest Blog by Shitshembiso Mabasa

Twitter @FanaPBuffalo

She got a restraining order ‘kuphi la’ it was like he took that piece of paper and wiped his ass; she paid dearly for such an action. Fortunately her baby daddy and the SAPS rescued her from the vandal – one thing the SAPS excel in is arresting woman abusers so if you are being abused dial 10111.

#inthecoffin

hahahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! Wow, my day has just been made!

Great one Fana!

Uthando on Tue, 7th Sep 2010 10:51 am

It’s Khethiwe Buthelezi,Shitshembiso nw let me continue reading this interesting article

kazisongo on Tue, 7th Sep 2010 11:13 am

GPY!!!

Uthando on Tue, 7th Sep 2010 11:19 am

Wow Fana, This is gud man and u No. 1 deserves it shame khona uma esemshaya ngebhande ngathi ushaya u Matric ayi shame,

Nice one BIG UP TO YOU DUDE

Lady gaga on Tue, 7th Sep 2010 11:57 am

@Fezzy…….lol love the avatar baby,nice!!

Kiki on Tue, 7th Sep 2010 12:00 pm

Hold on kancinci,lets all take a moment of silence for today’s video. Thank You BS.

*side eyes #TeamNgozi niyabheda nina*

Lela on Tue, 7th Sep 2010 1:26 pm

@Fezzy, if its not saggy boobs its fabby mkhaba and zpejeje!

Zida on Tue, 7th Sep 2010 2:43 pm

Kwaaaa @ dont_mind_me sending me actual form to send to Dr Phil. LOL @ Fana. Some of them, the closet is bursting in the seams, as you were.

Strolicious on Tue, 7th Sep 2010 3:28 pm

#teamNgozi love the way he acts.

Buhlebonga on Tue, 7th Sep 2010 4:02 pm

Who knew fana was a writer? wow! Read this early this morning, couldn’t comment tho, had a wrokshop and it kept me entertained!
The Bassie and Romeo and Dingaan part killed me! Nice

Makgotso on Tue, 7th Sep 2010 8:07 pm