One Night Stand: (PG 18)

January 13, 2011 by  

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The most ambiguous statement. The Most confusing Line.

Jazmine Sullivan’s lyrics say.


one night stand, one night stand he was supposed to be a one night stand)
U are my kryptonite u take my powers away
and if i spend the night u probably drive me insane
Little John less subtle chorus.
Boy I know you got a girl
And you know I’ve got a man
So let’s both respect the game
And have a one night stand
Everybody wanna know
But they wouldn’t understand
So let’s keep it on the low
And have a one night stand

There have been a million songs about this subject and countless scary movies about this yet we continue indulging. The confusion starts from the beginning. Communication.

You meet someone and you just have to have them like your life depends on riding him/her. You start feeling like if you don’t do it with then you would have failed as a human being and that you can risk everything, including your life just to spend a night with them. We all know u can’t walk to a person and say “I want to have sex with you tonight and never talk to you again.” (Unless you’re a gay man its easier when its guy on guy action…guys think with their d*cks anyway).

You start whispering sweet nothings in their ears, promising them heaven and earth, charming and confusing a poor girl/boy. Lady luck smiles on you then it gets even more complicated. The sex is great for one party but for the delusional party it’s the birth of a long full filling relationship. Really?

Ladies if he met you shaking your ass like a polaroid picture at a club and you decide to go home with him, please don’t expect it to morph into something spectacular, you were drunk, he was h*rny just leave it at that. Wear your panties and do the walk of shame, don’t ask for numbers cause he will probably give you a wrong one. Pick up what’s left  of your dignity, if we can call it that when the weave is all messed up, the mascara now a blusher and you’re wearing an LBD in the morning.

Fellas if you attracted her with flossing, spending money fast, it’s just a one night stand with benefits. Once you stop spending, she is out of there because you sold yourself as a big spender. You stop spending, she pulls her  panties up faster than Twista’s rhymes.

Let’s get real: If you meet someone on a social network, Facebook, MySpace and Twitter : Social network one night stand. Show me a relationship that started there and progressed to the altar and I’ll show you a Playmate with real breasts.

If you’re doing a married man, hun it’s just a one night stand that happens intermittently . If you’re sleeping with a Bisexual man, it’s a one night stand that drags on longer than one night cause we all know bisexual men and women all end up with men.

A friend told me he once had a one stand that lasted for almost a year. When they met they were both in relationships with other people but they just had to shag. The shag was unreal, they had to do it over and over again to a point where they dumped their partners to be together. But once they were together exclusively, a cloud of doubt set in and the relationship started breaking down : lack of trust. If it was so easy for her to leave her previous boyfriend for him, what makes him think he is so special that she won’t leave him if she finds a better shag? From the beginning they both knew it was just a prolonged one night stand.


Once I had someone stalk me on all communications avenues: facebook, cell phone, work phone, Gmail, P.O Box, hotmail and that made me feel like a very hot male and hot in bed but that was until the threats became serious and I had to get a restraining order.
I also felt the other side of  a one night stand coin.When someone I’ve always lusted after decided to come home with me, I felt like I was on top of the world and I pulled all the tricks out of the hat in bed . I have a ahhhh big ego, such a huge ego that I took it very hard when they didn’t call sms, nor return my countless calls, sms and emails. It was such a rude awakening when it finally dawned on me that I was someone’s one night stand, as hot as I am. SMH.

Don’t ever confuse a mercy f*ck with a one night stand. If you’re gonna sleep with an ugly ashy midget that works at a cell phone network call centre, prepare yourself for the consequences. They are gonna want more, think you’re in a relationship and embarrass you in front of your beautiful friends.

The moral of the story is that the relationship that starts successfully in bed is that of a mother giving birth, the rest are just one night stands.

Guys I know its gonna be hard because as human beings we are polite but next time a guy/girl meets you in a club on facebook, Twitter and they wanna take you home, to avoid unnecessary drama: be brave and ask them if they want a relationship or just sex for that night.


By Dumi Gwebu ©

Twitter: @DumiGwebu

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Comments

210 Comments on "One Night Stand: (PG 18)"

  1. mbhobho on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 2:45 am 

    1st one to post wow

  2. Toniice on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 2:56 am 

    Tl tl tl tl tl this is very interesting..I can relate……Nice one bra Dumi..!!!

  3. mbhobho on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 3:00 am 

    Nice article @Dumigwebu. Wish to ouline that in our times to remain relevant we need to stay with the program. Meaning I’m for the one nite, most ladies prefer that and I grant them what they wish. Stress free shags are the order of our social gatherings today, sadly it sparks everywhere ie: funerals,business meetings,weddings, office even in church scary hey.

  4. Zida on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 4:44 am 

    OMG Dumi!!! You are so hilarious!

    Kwaaaa @ shaking your ass like a polaroid picture. Tltltltl.

    Kwaaaa @ all playmates having fake boobs. Now that you mention it.

    Kwaaaa @ an ugly ashy midget from a call centre. Tltltltltl.

    Ooh hhayi, I love the way you wrote this. And you are right, what causes the confusion and headaches is lack of communication. Not that I’d know. *winks*

    Oooh, I looove that Jazmine Sullivan song.

  5. Zida on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 4:48 am 

    And that first picture got me singing Ooh Child. HAUTE!!!

    Can’t I get my first one night stand with Omari Hardwick bathong?

  6. nan on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 5:49 am 

    ONS are dangerous period!

    When you get down to it and all that animal lust has been slaked, hormones aare back to normal and you’ve done you WOS the morning after then reality sets in…

    In this day and age, what self respecting woman would choose to exchange bodily fluids let alone spit with a relative stranger…same with a year long one, its no longer a ONS its a booty call :D , let’s call a spade a spade tu!

    shim! Maybe I am old fashion but if you let lust rule you then you deserve the stalking when there are so many other options to scratching the itch than ONS.

  7. Nthoentle on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 7:10 am 

    Tjo tjo tjo! This is good Dumi
    I have never had a 1night stand and I never will!
    Can’t wait to read the comments. LOL

  8. J-Girl on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 7:16 am 

    sad sad reality of the world we live in. I jst wished people would use protection in all of these instances, outside of that it is fun i can imagine. I get weird looks when i stary seeing some1 but i am not sure what to do next coz he didn’t formally ask me out so i am not sure but this has always saved me from the unsavoury moments of realising later that i was a mere 1 night stand or shag!!
    1 night stands would be ok i think if people mastered the concept of creating and managing expectation!

  9. fruitcake on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 8:05 am 

    “be brave and ask them if they want a relationship or just sex for that night.”

    As if a girl would ever get a straight answer, most men would tell you whatever you want to hear just for a shag, you did say that they think with their dicks afterall.

    I agree with the blogger who said that if it keeps happening over and over again with the same person, then it is no longer a ONS, your are sex partners or booty calls as the blogger said. One sad thing about it all is when the other party is being deceived into believing that they are in a relationship while Mr is just in it for the booty. Kunzima straight!

  10. lebza4sh0 on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 8:48 am 

    Kwaaaa @ an ugly ashy midget from a call centre. Nice one Dumi.

  11. Lady gaga on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 8:51 am 

    “The moral of the story is that the relationship that starts successfully in bed is that of a mother giving birth, the rest are just one night stands.”……….NUFSAID!!!!

  12. Sam on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 8:55 am 

    Oh wow, thoroughly enjoyed reading that! LOL. ‘ashy midgets’? kwaaaa! Well….me and my man left other people to be together as the shag was really good *hiding* and we have been happy together ever since. Although am not sure if i can say we started as ONS? or did we? Never thought of it like that! SMH.

  13. Fezzy on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 9:04 am 

    I’ve done terrible things in my life but not a ONS. I hate sex anyway.

  14. KevCare on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 9:09 am 

    #Dear1stYears…after u get thru registration…Make sure you read thoroughly and take lessons from this blog!! Nice 1

  15. Lady Guava on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 9:38 am 

    Good one Dumi. Hei the first picture almost had me speaking in tongues (like Toni Braxton, not like Dr. Rebecca!).

    Like a contract, every relationship must have terms & conditions and these have to be agreed upon by both parties. I have a one night stand that has florished into a booty call, to the extend that when we talk before we meet, we clarify on what we are meeting for (drinks/shag/clubbing).

    No#1 rule is to never fall in love with your ONS/Bootycall cause that changes the terms of your agreement and that renders the contract null & void – heartbreak!

  16. Kiki on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 9:40 am 

    “Let’s get real: If you meet someone on a social network, Facebook, MySpace and Twitter : Social network one night stand. Show me a relationship that started there and progressed to the altar and I’ll show you a Playmate with real breasts” #DEATHOFME

    “Once I had someone stalk me on all communications avenues: facebook, cell phone, work phone, Gmail, P.O Box, hotmail and that made me feel like a very hot male and hot in bed but that was until the threats became serious and I had to get a restraining order.” #DEATHOFME

    “If you’re gonna sleep with an ugly ashy midget that works at a cell phone network call centre, prepare yourself for the consequences. They are gonna want more, think you’re in a relationship and embarrass you in front of your beautiful friends.” #DEATHOFME

    I am praying for the day when ALL & I mean ALL women will over power being victims and be the victimisers. *cues ONE NIGHT STAND by Enrique Iglesias* I love that track.

  17. Dladla on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 9:46 am 

    “We all know u can’t walk to a person and say “I want to have sex with you tonight and never talk to you again.” (Unless you’re a gay man its easier when its guy on guy action…guys think with their d*cks anyway).”

    Am I the only gay guy who finds this statement a bit repugnant???

  18. Brown Shuga on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 9:52 am 

    What does repugnant mean?

  19. Nokxie on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 9:52 am 

    Funny enough 2 of my best relationships started off a one night stand all because I never followed the below mentioned rules

    Going forward I am doing exactly what I list below

    I just need to master the art of leaving early in the morning and not exhanging numbers

    Meaning no Wimpy breakfast, no you dont send me a FB friend request, dont follw me on Twitter or want my BBM pin etc

  20. Dladla on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 9:56 am 

    I find it disgusting and offensive.

  21. manny on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 9:59 am 

    tjo..i dont know what to say..midget ya call centre nogal?
    ke speechless..

  22. MissAN on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 9:59 am 

    @ all…”Hello,Good morning” *PDiddy voice*

    @Kiki… Women will never ever separate sex with their emotions,it will never happen…it is impossible.

    @Dladla…I do not think Dumi was trying to offend the gay community (he forgot to add #nohomo after that sentence LOL) besides the stereotypes that gay men are premiscious,I think he really meant at the end of the day gays are still men and men can have sex,and it is just that,no emotions involved unlike women we tend to be emotional.I do not have a personal experience of a ONS but simply because I do not wanna put myslef in a position where you end up falling for the guy kanti u agreed it is just a shag…

  23. Toniice on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 10:05 am 

    Its all fun and games until the L word is mentioned…..You have to play along….ku ruff

  24. Lady gaga on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 10:12 am 

    hau Fezzy, u hate sex? bt how?????

  25. Kiki on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 10:13 am 

    @MissAN,I guess I am not a woman ke…LOL. I have/had botty calls on speed dial and they know/knew their place. I have stated it from the beginning that I can’t get into a serious relationship and I have walked out of arrangements that were turning into relationships. But like I said: Maybe I am not a woman since you are saying it’s impossible.

  26. FunkyFK on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 10:16 am 

    @BS – repugnant = distasteful

  27. J-Girl on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 10:24 am 

    @kiki tjooo can we swop minds for a month so that i can do all these cute boys i sooo long for but wish i would not like them in the end?? I wish 1 day i would be able to separate sex and emotional attachments!! *sigh*

  28. Dladla on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 10:25 am 

    Thatha Kiki!!! LOL’… Angeke ng’khone mina. Angeke!

  29. Fezzy on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 10:25 am 

    @Lady gaga..yes I hate sex and I dont understand wy men like it so much. Mina I can survive 6 months without sex, its just too much of an effort for me and I dont see the point of doing it.

  30. Ivanka on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 10:28 am 

    Yes, it started as a ONS, dono what it is now. We met at a course here in CT and he is from GP. We were on the samer floor at the hotel.
    On day three i just had to have him *not hiding*, and so wee did. There were no expactations from me, it was, what it was and I knew it. We only exchanged e-mail addresses for the reason of exchaning info but that led to “booty calls”
    Three and half years later we still shag two weekends a month. It works for me coz inbetween work and studies, i have two baby sisters with homeworks and other staff that i can ship off to my grandmother on my “shagging” weekends.

  31. Luluwise on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 10:32 am 

    Nice one Dumi. I will never engage in a ONS ever again, I did when I was younger, carefree and wanted to experience the thrill. NEVER AGAIN. IMO they leave a bitter taste in my mouth, excuse the PUN…I enjoyed the experience(s), twas great in all the occassions, thank you gentleman for the great times,but during the last one I started catching feelings of guilt, thought the behaviour was skanky and did the walk of shame and I decided there and then that was it for me! My conscience got the better of me so I have stopped being a woman of negotiable affections. If you choose to, be safe at all times!!!!!

  32. MAESESLA on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 10:32 am 

    “The moral of the story is that the relationship that starts successfully in bed is that of a mother giving birth, the rest are just one night stands.”

    lol0… what a phrase. very true in most cases.

  33. Kiki on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 10:37 am 

    Lol,guys it’s not hard work nje? It’s all in the mind. If you tell yourself that you can’t seperate the TWO then you wont be able to and believe me you will always be the victim. There are some men that I look at and say: that one I want a shag NOTHING more and that’s that.

  34. MAESESLA on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 10:52 am 

    @Dladla

    jah… it is degrading sham. I am straight and I also don’t apreciate it when they say I think with my dick. what does that mean?

  35. MissAN on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 10:54 am 

    @ Kiki..haai good for u,hence I said in Janine J blog that women and men have different strenghts…I will always maintain that it is not possible with us. I guess it is a mind over matter thing as you put it or maybe you have attachment issues ..Lol..but if it works for u thats good.

  36. hlobi on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 11:00 am 

    Really enjoyed reading this. Thanks Dumi.

  37. Lustagp on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 11:10 am 

    tjo Dumi give them more advise man, i just had so many safe ONS ngale-PAST holiday.
    I could’nt believe myself i can be so horny for pretty easy little things i have never met, tjo man my dick is tired luckily my preganat wife is not intersted in sex these days.
    My rule is no exchnage of numbers lets chow my hard earned money and fuck each other and goodbye.

    PS..I played it safe and damn my holidays where worth it!!!

    and no lectures please i love my wife…

  38. Kiki on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 11:16 am 

    Eish MissAN,when I was young in love I had my fair share of heartbreaks,headaches & being a victim but I have learnt as it opened my eyes to the REAL world.Now I call the shots in my life & my heart.

    Where is my hubby Lusta?? He hasn’t said Happy New Year to me…SMH

  39. lwandie on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 11:17 am 

    lol Dumi you killed it man….I had lots of lol moments in your article…I feel soooo old fashioned though reading this article.

  40. lwandie on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 11:19 am 

    lol hayi Lustagp you are very special man

  41. J-Girl on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 11:23 am 

    @lustagp kwaaaaaaa @ no lectures plz!! Yah neh, sho!!
    I guess as with any other exercise in life, u only become a pro with practise but i donno if i will ever be able to master this one really.

  42. Lady gaga on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 11:29 am 

    @Fezzy, kay…….i see!

  43. lebza4sh0 on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 11:46 am 

    @Fezzy 6 months? Tjo I wud die die and never wake up tl tl tl

  44. Brown Shuga on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 11:48 am 

    Hee bathong, Lebza?????????????

  45. Lustagp on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 11:53 am 

    eish my Kiki darling sorry vha babes ndibuye ndidiniwe kukumosha ahahah

    Happy New Year my love, masibuyelane kakuhle ngo-Feb..lol.

  46. Lela on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 11:54 am 

    Fezzy siyafana shem,worse ndihlala nendoda u can imagine,i even run out of excuses.

  47. Lela on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 11:58 am 

    Hawu Lebza,uyenza nabani ke wena? Abantwana bangoku,seyikwazi kona uma?

  48. Kiki on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 11:59 am 

    Can we all start praying for Fezzy. We have a serious case on our hands shem. Actually lets pray for her to find a man that will do her kakuhle coz this kind of statement usually comes from a person who has ALWAYS had bad experiences in bed or from virgins.I don’t blame you Fezzy,I blame the man or men that you have been with….Lol

  49. Kiki on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 12:00 pm 

    Lela,I have been praying for you chomam since the last time we spoke about it.

  50. Uthando on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 12:03 pm 

    Mmmhhh Dumi the 1st pic!!!
    @Fezzy nami ngyafana nje nawe angilukhonzile kwalona

  51. fruitcake on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 12:08 pm 

    When I grow up i want to be like Kiki and do the whole no emotions attached business. Kunini ngi khala, aowa!

  52. Kiki on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 12:24 pm 

    Happy New Year Fruitcake. Please put our Gravatar back,we miss it.

  53. Lady gaga on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 12:24 pm 

    @fruitcake, nami futhi. even last week i was crying :-(

  54. Lady Guava on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 12:28 pm 

    kwaa kwaa on being a woman of “negotiable affections”…i like that.

    Kiki, o skhokho! I’m yet to meet someone that i just want for the shag nje. Ohw, now that i think about it, i might have a list i conveniently forgot about.

  55. Thiwe on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 12:28 pm 

    me i prefer booty call over one night stand coz that’s just dangerous (sleeping with a stranger and not knowing what he’s capable of.

    now as for booty call, please do give me a call. love me some booty call. i especially think they work better if you’re both in relationships coz you know to keep emotions at bay.

    nice one DUMI!

  56. Lady gaga on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 12:32 pm 

    akere bo kiki ba na le banna ba HOTT *side eye*

  57. MissAN on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 12:33 pm 

    @ LadyG..myabe uLusta had ur way with u during the holidays…@ Kiki must share her tips with u…

  58. Thiwe on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 12:40 pm 

    @ Lustagp: have them girls just as long as she doesnt find out. that’s what’s important to me. respect me enough to ensure that i never find out. if i can keep my secret, what’s stoppig you from doing the same.

  59. Kiki on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 12:42 pm 

    Kwaaaaaaa Lady Gaga,JBXXXXXXS!!

  60. MAESESLA on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 12:43 pm 

    @Lela

    lol… and indoda yakho takes ur excuses… but just for ur advise… if he is not getting it from you and he doesn’t complain then he is getting it somewhere period. I just can’t…sleeping on the same bed and we go for a week without getting the black forest…I can’t. it is not normal.

  61. MissAN on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 12:45 pm 

    @ Thiwe…I think that is even worse…I respect people that tell u that they taken and its all in the name of fun instead of dragging you along…and women have the 6th sense on such things,we just know…

  62. Zah000 on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 12:46 pm 

    In all the one-sided emotional attachement and heartache i’ve had, i have learnt to seperate a relationship from a booty call. Even though i’ve never had a ONS, i always prefer some honesty. If it’s just booty you want don’t try to soften me up by saying you love me and what not. Coz all this false information is misleading…

    We had a great time with my ex booty call coz we both understood just where things stood. i didn’t expect anything “special” from him and it worked just fine for both of us

  63. MissAN on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 12:46 pm 

    lol @ black forest…and Maesesla and the guy that acts like Lela..yena whats up with him?

  64. Thiwe on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 12:47 pm 

    @ fruitcake & lady gaga: its those tears that make it easy for you to just shag ‘em and then tell them to leave your place. the day you tell yourselves you’re tired of crying for a man, will be freedom day for ya’ll.

    kiki mhlobo wam, its 2011 and its our turn to use them and drop them as fast as we picked them up.

    try it ladies, it is so satisfying. until he gets clingy, now that is the most irritating part.

  65. MAESESLA on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 12:49 pm 

    @All,

    I’m new in this blog and I feel like all of U are friends and have known each other for a while.I’m struggling to fit in. I’m the new kid in the block lol.

    I must say the topics are very intersting and enlightening. we explore each others minds.

    @ fruitcake
    be u khalelani?

  66. MaliB on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 12:52 pm 

    First of all, let me just LOL till my throat is dry… LOL!!!

    This article rings TRUE to A LOT of the vivacious youth nowadays. Some know it and embrace it while others live in denial. Relax, if u know u’re not part of it, no need to get ur panties in a knot. As for the part about people rebuking Dumi bout the “men thinking with their dicks”, GTFOHWTNATBS! I mean, it’s a known fact that men WANT sex at every chance they that… It’s not even about who’s gay, sleeps with their dog or fingers their… Eh, ja!

    My point is sex shouldn’t be looked at as this DEEP think that people easily take offence to. As for repugnant… Tltltltltl!
    Anyways, people have different opinions and Imma acknowledge that but PLEASE don’t hit me *dodges bullets and blanks*.

  67. Lela on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 12:52 pm 

    Lol @ Kiki praying until something happens.

  68. Zah000 on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 12:52 pm 

    Lela no Fezzy you need a prayer for sure

  69. Thiwe on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 12:56 pm 

    @ MissAn: what i meant was that me being the girlfriend/the mfazi/the one. i dont wanna find out about your ish. i prefer not to. indaba i know that at some point, he’s gonna cheat if not all the time. just do your part as the man and tell your fling/booty call/one night stand that you have a woman so she knows her place. coz if the man gives her false hope, then she finds out about the mfazi and calls you, akuthuke and embarrases herself. i’ve had this drama and i think its preventable.
    @ Maesesla: dont worry darling, i dont know most people here. we just one big happy family and you’ll find your place eventually. i was like that too.

  70. Thiwe on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 12:59 pm 

    Fezzy is my SHERO (heroin)! I would love to stay off sex for that long. Dang girl, you’re my inspiration. Its possible, I can do this…lol

  71. Zah000 on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:01 pm 

    @Thiwe thank you. No need fooling ourselves there. Men cheat at some point, i’m condoning it but you need to respect me enough not to let me find out about it. And use protection dammit, i don’t want your ghonorrea (sp)

  72. MissAN on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:01 pm 

    @ Thiwe…I see what u mean..but Lusta shouldnt have a problem with his wife,cos I think he once mentioned they both cheat…This bootycall,friends with benefits is just not my cup of tea…

    @Maesesla… I asked u,and guys that act like Lela 7 going without the black forest,bona?

  73. Kiki on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:03 pm 

    Wellcome home MAESESLA. You will be ok in no time. kwaaaaaa at the “@Fruitcake be ukhalelani” part.

  74. MissAN on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:04 pm 

    @ Thiwe & Zahoo..but women just sense these things,no matter how well the guy can pretend to be hiding it. You just know,maybe he should just not be caught…

  75. MAESESLA on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:08 pm 

    @MaliB
    It is not true that men think with their Dicks baba…well maybe sometimes. remember AV’s artickle about the December fling. If he thought with his Dick then he wuld now be anciously waiting for March so that he could do a HIV test. he thought with his mind even though the black forest was there…staring at him, panting*gosh*. what do you have to say to that. it just have to go with the person. mina personally I would have made sure that i bring the condom with me to the party and i was gona blze that for sure.

  76. Zah000 on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:10 pm 

    @MissAn a woman always knows when her man cheats. I think it’s the 6th sense. But once you’re clumsy enough for me to catch you i’m out the door. Nigga i don’t wanna know…..

  77. lebza4sh0 on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:14 pm 

    LMAO Brown shuga and Lela u know I’m kidding. I’m still young for such

  78. MissAN on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:15 pm 

    @ Zahoo.. yeah,be decent enough not to have an affair with a coleeague,friend,cousin,neighbour,etc or leave stuff lying around…lets agree that we do not want to see the evidence..

  79. MaliB on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:17 pm 

    @maesesla

    Well, i agree with the writer… More so coz of the context. I know that we aren’t the same way but there is a range, and in that are people who hide it well and those who don’t! I know this is subjective so i don’t think dwelling on it will do neither one of us any good. To each his own hey?

  80. posh on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:18 pm 

    Mhhh one night stands…This girl had a hobby of shagging strangers at parties and she was having fun. One time, she met a guy, a total stranger, as usual shagged him, but in the middle of it the guy pulled out the condom during ‘doggy’ style without her knowledge. After an amazing round, as she turns she finds a condom on the floor….the guy took it out (it didn’t break) and she didn’t even realise. She was depressed!

    Another one, a married woman called a radio station, she had a ONS while she was away on a course, fell pregnant, the child is now 11 years old..hubby doesn’t know….

    So lusta be sure that child is yours *hides*

  81. MAESESLA on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:19 pm 

    @MissAN
    Maybe he took celibacy or something. I have never met a guy who is over 16yers saying that he is abstaining.

  82. boogie on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:19 pm 

    Well written, it’s about time we stop confusing one night stand with relationships.

  83. Thiwe on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:21 pm 

    @ MissAn: leaving things lying around is a bit of a problem. reason being, me the fling will want the wifey to know that i exist so i will ‘hide’ something where the man wont necessarily see it. it’ll be somewhere unexpected but i know for sure that the wifey will see it somehow. women are just evil like that hun. we’re bad.

  84. MissAN on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:24 pm 

    @ Maesesla…I do not like getting personal in general..But oh well… *running to La Senza*

  85. SibsMacd on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:24 pm 

    nice one baba

  86. Thiwe on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:24 pm 

    @ posh: i am freaked out!!!!!!

    Thank God I dont do ONS anymore. high school days are a thing of the past. more than a decade to be exact. Yoh!

    pregnant with another man’s child? o sebete mosadi oo! the day it comes out, and we all know it will, hontlo nkga hosa bola!!!

  87. MissAN on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:25 pm 

    @ Thiwe..now u losing me.

  88. Lady gaga on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:25 pm 

    mcim kiki! LOL

    MissAN my friend once again wa bua maan.LOL!!!!

  89. MissAN on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:27 pm 

    @ Thiwe,just lazy to tell.so clearly this ONS/Bootycalls are not for women,y would u want the wife or regte to find out about u,if u know it is just a ONS??? I have to go,will try clearify.

  90. fruitcake on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:28 pm 

    Happy new year to you to Nomkikizelo ka Lustagp. Unfortunately I dont know how to get my gravatar back, i forgot my login details and dont have the link to the gravatar website. * shrugs*

    @Maesesla, be ngikhaliswa a madoda, hehehe. Uhlekani wena Kiki!

  91. Thiwe on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:35 pm 

    @ MissAn: i’ma try and clarify this.

    Scenario: Thiwe is Michael’s woman. Nosipho is Michael’s fling.

    Michael and Nosipho get involved (sexual partners) and they agree that it’ll never be anything more than just sex. A few weeks/months down the line Nosipho falls in love with Michael. Now Sipho doesnt tell Michael that the game plan has changed coz she knows that’ll be the end of their fling which she has some how convinced herself that she can make Michael love her.

    Now Nosipho decides that the only way she can get Michael is if Thiwe is out of the picture, and seeing that Michael does not intend on letting Thiwe go, Nosipho will have to find a way of ensuring that Thiwe leaves Michael.

    That’s when Nosipho gets into evil mode and starts leavign her ish at Michael’s flat for Thiwe to find.

    Uyangithola????

  92. Lustagp on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:36 pm 

    lol..at the small jabs & soft threaths from the woman here..

    @posh…i dont care even it’s not mine as long as we are HIV negative cos I play it safe so if my dearest wife choose to give it all ku- boyfriend, she is stupidly comitting suicide for both of us. My health comes first i dont care ngobanjiswa ibhatyi tu.

    Kiki are you igmoring me or ukwatile, talk to me my love..

  93. Cinnabon on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:41 pm 

    @Dumi…very nice read…Love the first pic…got me wet…yini le’thi nca, nca, nca…lol!
    @Fezzy & Uthando…you don’t like sex…REALLY??!
    @Kiki…#TeamSexualEmpowerment#!!

  94. Thiwe on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:42 pm 

    @Lustagp & kiki: hayi bo!

  95. MAESESLA on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:44 pm 

    @fruitcake. but men and females ba ya fana…nami futhi ba ke ba ngikhalisa, but no tears lol.phela in Sepedi they say Monna ke nku o llela teng.meaning a man is like a sheep…when he hurts he doesn’t cry out loud but he cries inside lol.
    but I wouldn’t advise one night stands for women, unless the guy is gud looking or a good shag. coz that shag might close doors for potential Hubands as U’d be focusing on the vein(msipha)

  96. sk1 on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:53 pm 

    “When I grow up i want to be like Kiki and do the whole no emotions attached business. Kunini ngi khala, aowa!”

    @Fruitcake nami futhi .

    @ Lebza u can , I stayed 2years without shagging , & m alive n kicking.

  97. Kiki on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:53 pm 

    Lusta,I can never ignore you dali wam. Its just that I am busy trying to build a women world without victims here…lol

    Oh well mina I have never met a guy @ a club,corner or whatever & just shag him. NO WAYS. Everything I do is planned in advance. If I see a hot something that I want to shag,I will keep on watching from a distance and then start the greeting n small talk for a few weeks or even months and then BOOOOOOM,I pounce get want I want then it will be from then that I decide if he qualifies as a booty call or I walk away forever.

    I am at a stage where I live for me & my satisfaction. As much as we shag we must have our limits or set our own boundaries….for example the only time I can give a man a BJ is when I have accepted & welcomed him into my heart as my man bcoz I believe there should be a difference between all these other guys and MY boo. He deserves ALL that I can give meaning the whole of me. To me a BJ is more intimate than penetration.

  98. Pappy on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 1:58 pm 

    Not to be off the topic or anything,i was in a very fun relationship guy and i always lusted ova him, coz he’s got the bod and dark, so i always had those fantacies ova him. we knew eachother though(part-time classmates @ tech). i finally got my pores on him that hot bod and it went on for about 2 months regular visits but not actually sleeping together. Eventually we did it, once, after a month of smooching every now and again. and man i tell u i felt like we doing it for the money, the guys knows his story come bedtime.a month later he tells me he’s got a gilrfriend and we should stop this thing.

    so bcoz we slept once, that means its One Night Stand nhe? i always tried to figure this thing out… by the way, we still speak and we started visitin again this week. and i still cant get ova this mzulu guy.

  99. Lustagp on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 2:00 pm 

    okay ke dali wam. i was so smiling alone one time, i saw you on TV and i was like zezam ke ezi qha ndinga-jampisi ndihleli no wifey..lol.
    ndiyayithanda le-class yakho , khawbafundise dear bayeke uhlelinje bafuna ukuzenza ivictims.

    @Thiwe senzeni ngoku?

  100. Zah000 on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 2:15 pm 

    “the only time I can give a man a BJ is when I have accepted & welcomed him into my heart as my man bcoz I believe there should be a difference between all these other guys and MY boo. He deserves ALL that I can give meaning the whole of me. To me a BJ is more intimate than penetration.”

    This is so damn TRUE!!!

  101. Kiki on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 2:19 pm 

    And ladies,dont forget to put a man on probation. If you/both want a serious relationship you have to put him on probation. During the probation try and get to know him better and see if he is worth YOU. Do not settle for less.

    A probation can be days,weeks or even months depending on how much time you spend together. If you must know MOST men do put us on probation too,just to see if we are worth keeping so lets turn the tables and stop FALLING.

  102. Fezzy on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 2:24 pm 

    Wena Kiki uzothandaza until u run out of words and until God gets bored and just goes to sleep wena umlalisa.
    Trust me, I’ve had great sex and my current boyfriend knows his story, angilambi.
    But there are times when I feel ukuthi Ive had enough sex and I wanna take a break and ngalesoskhathi u bf wants us to do it today, tomorrow and…I cant take that. Sum1 I just do it for him, just to please him ngoba bathi a woman must keep her woman happy otherwise sum1 else will.
    Bekumnandi ngo babyDaddy (now my ex) cos we only saw each other one weekend a month and yerrrrr…bengishaywa umoya then.

    @Lustagp…while Kiki prays for me, Imma pray for u darling. I wont be praying for u to change but I will be thanking God that Im not Wifey. TJO!

  103. Bee on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 2:24 pm 

    @Fezzy and Lela you guys are gay period.#TOUCH DOWN# No prayer ngandawo apha.lol

  104. Fezzy on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 2:25 pm 

    Sum1 = Sometimes *dodges red pens*

  105. Fezzy on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 2:27 pm 

    @Bee…nama gays do have sex mos.
    Maybe God wanted me to be a nun and I didnt listen to his calling.

  106. Zah000 on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 2:27 pm 

    I love Kiki!!!! *kisses*

  107. Bee on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 2:28 pm 

    Can u imagine having sex in six months! usho ukuthi you only have it twice a year and thats not ayoba NO.

  108. Kiki on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 2:29 pm 

    Tjoweeeeeeeeeee happy New Year Bee. #TOUCH DOWN#

  109. manny on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 2:30 pm 

    fezzy how do u survice ..i tried ignoring lendaba yakho kodwa haai no …6 uzilile yini ?

  110. Bee on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 2:31 pm 

    @Fezzy I mean kaloku you are sleeping with the wrong gender. kwaaa

  111. Bee on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 2:34 pm 

    Happy new year to u too noMkikizelo kayi wena u haven changed u still a heart breaker nangoku hayi NO feel sorry for em poor men.

  112. Kiki on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 2:39 pm 

    #Deathby being called a heart breaker…..heheheh,I didnt know men have hearts too,they always act tough. LOL

  113. TT on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 2:39 pm 

    Where do I start,…ehh,..Ok,…I will LOL first at all the hilarious comments.

    LOL@ Sex once in six months (thats like 182 days),..What do you do during this time? Mustabate? Tjo -speechless…

    @MaliB – You need Juses – Lmao

    Moving on to my personal experience – I have had ONS like they were going out of fashion. Being allergic to commitment, they work well for me, until I got tired.

    ONS are addictive, Ok, the ones where the sex was great. LOL. For me it was a routine, – We rock up a little house party and invite a lot of chicks (at least the ratio must be 3 Girls: 1 Guy, that way we guaranteed Booty, LOL *don’t hate the player*…)..The next minute ..BANG..BANG..BANG…Reload..BANG..BANG..BANG

    Same thing the next weekend and the Next…

    The challenge now was always the after effect,…the stalking, phone calls, sms, FB, Twitter etc. At some point some lady came to my work to come “talk to me” Tjo, You don’t wanna find yourself in that situation.

    Now am tired of ONS, as a matter of fact, Am tired of Sex. I think sex is overrated. You spend a lot of time in the prep stage than the actual “game” of shagging.

    Now my policy is – If I get it great, If i don’t, Its no Train smash. My pipi knows that too. LOL.

  114. Nokxie on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 2:44 pm 

    Fezzy think we were separated at birth

    I have gone a year at one point, even saw a therapist to try and address this

    Kiki that is correct penetration is less intimate than BJ for me its like a long service award

  115. Kiki on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 2:47 pm 

    Mara TT,how the hell do you tell or show a person you are NOT serious with where you work?? BIG MISTAKE!!!

  116. posh on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 3:05 pm 

    “then start the greeting n small talk for a few weeks or even months and then BOOOOOOM,I pounce get want I want”

    LoL…

  117. TT on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 3:06 pm 

    @Kiki – I didn’t show the person. Whatever you do, Don’t ever estimate a desparate woman. She found out, till this day, I don’t know how. LOL.

    But it was traumatising to see her in that state.

  118. coy paine on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 3:10 pm 

    @ Fezzy, i agree wit you…ok i dnt HATE sex but shiesh…its all the same isnt it! u’ve had it once u’ve had it a million times! I dnt hate it..if i have to i will(comes with da job of being a girlfriend)otherwise, i’m not going to go out there and look for it!

  119. MAESESLA on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 3:11 pm 

    TT, you were supposed to film it. you can make a documentary that will make a lot of money. So next time if you ever decide to be hugh hefner, please call me and i will bring my expertise. then we can be bussiness partners. it will sell i tell you. We can call it*thinking* touch and go.

  120. Fezzy on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 3:19 pm 

    Im better when I touch and go *singing Usher’s Pro-Lover*

  121. Thiwe on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 3:21 pm 

    @ Bee: You are killing me…Kwaaaaaaaa!

  122. popeye on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 3:22 pm 

    What would a day be without JC??? Really enjoying the comments:-)

  123. Lustagp on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 3:23 pm 

    @TT..tjo man….hence I only ONS with woman who love this East London hit” Andifuni wena- ndifunA imali” andifuni mtshato -ndifun’ imali” kwekhu utya uxhaphe ke apho mfo….

  124. TT on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 3:23 pm 

    @MAESESLA – Unfortunaltely I quit being Hugh Hefner. Its not worth it. at the end of the day, Sex is just about cumming. *LOL* which takes a couple of minutes or 45 minutes if your name is TT *Not bragging* – LOL.

    I might go back to it, but this year I resolved that I won’t involve myself in risky Buzznizz.

  125. popeye on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 3:25 pm 

    @Fezzy so what are some of the excuses you give when your man want a little some some

  126. Brown Shuga on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 3:26 pm 

    “…..A probation can be days,weeks or even months depending on how much time you spend together. If you must know MOST men do put us on probation too,just to see if we are worth keeping so lets turn the tables and stop FALLING….”

    Kiki but that’s not what you said to me about my crush… you said I should fall for him hawu.

  127. Brown Shuga on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 3:29 pm 

    LOL Fezzy and Lela tl tltlt tl tl tl ..

    Hayi mina Fezzy, whatever time I’ve gone without was only coz there was no one to play with. Longest months of my life.

  128. popeye on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 3:30 pm 

    hehehe BS is spilling the beans*boom bang bang Kikis*

  129. MAESESLA on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 3:32 pm 

    @coy paine
    “Fezzy, i agree wit you…ok i dnt HATE sex but shiesh…its all the same isnt it! u’ve had it once u’ve had it a million times! I dnt hate it..if i have to i will(comes with da job of being a girlfriend)otherwise, i’m not going to go out there and look for it!”

    you must get excitement… sex shouldn’t be boring…and it seems like U r just doing it to please ur BF. I can teach you a few tricks that will make sure that U get wet when ever U think of Ur BF.

  130. Brown Shuga on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 3:32 pm 

    I love that song Fezzy!

  131. JustPS on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 3:33 pm 

    LOL…….o_0

  132. Kiki on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 3:35 pm 

    BS,I didn’t say fall for him,I said DO him (that is if it’s the one I am thinking off)…actually before I respond kahle kahle which crush are we talking about here?? Lol

  133. popeye on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 3:37 pm 

    have to agree with Maesesla that’s why kunama ONS and cheaters people are making sex a routine

  134. Thiwe on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 3:40 pm 

    “kahle kahle which crush are we talking about here??”

    he he he, secrets revealed exclusively on JC beybey!!!!

  135. Brown Shuga on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 3:42 pm 

    #deathby MAESESLA

    Mara some things that people do in bed are unnecessary… all in the name of being “great in bed” hayisuka… Sometimes you just wanna relieve the craving and get on with your day.. Foreplay ya di strawberry and cream can come once a year, I’ll be cool.

  136. Brown Shuga on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 3:43 pm 

    LOL @ Kiki… mncim… maybe we should stop it.

  137. Kiki on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 3:46 pm 

    Lol BS,you see now??

  138. MAESESLA on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 3:58 pm 

    @Brown Shuga lol… I don’t do that… strawberies…whip cream. lol… well i have never done that.

    it is the things you say, how U make her feel and how you innitate the deed.

  139. Lady gaga on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 4:10 pm 

    well do people really do strawberries nd cream,on the real? hai suka!

  140. Kiki on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 4:20 pm 

    @Lady Gaga,yes they do. I do it too but once in a while it’s actually perfect if you do it with your man than a Botty call…it’s healthy. Lol

  141. MAESESLA on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 4:23 pm 

    @Lady gaga… eh sweety. people do crazy stuff. A 25 year old friend of yours has a spiderman costume in his drawers. there are no kids in the house and satys with his GF. what would you think?

  142. coy paine on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 4:29 pm 

    @Maesesla..this i’ve got to hear! trust me i’ve tried everything from those cosmo tips to yoga sex..hmmmm…

  143. FunkyFK on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 4:38 pm 

    You guys are fony mara yazi – I can see now that the convo is moving from ONS to ……….

  144. Lady gaga on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 5:08 pm 

    Lol u guys!! Bt will also try those kinda stuff when I finally have a man.iyho!!!!

  145. LeeLove on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 7:02 pm 

    Wow! KIKI IS MY SHERO! I’m someone who has always had long term relationships and though they have been good I just don’t want one right now. I haven’t had sex in ages but I don’t know how to go about having a sex only relationship. I worry about my reputation and I would hate to have a “buddy” who thinks I’m great for sex but secretly thinks of me as a ho. I don’t want a ONS though just a shag buddy. How do I do it Kiki?

  146. Lela on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 7:05 pm 

    Fezzy I’m so happy that for once there is someone xctly like me. I know my man satisfies me because he is the first man to make me have orgasm almost evrytime we have sex but i would also be happy with once in six mnths just that we stay together so amqhinga ayaphela. Before I met him I was celebate for two and a half years and I was very happy. He says he is gonna get me some imbiza ayive iadvertiswa eKhozini that helps women with low libido. @Bee i also suspected that at some point but then I realised that much as ndiyonqena isex but when i have to get it ndiyayithanda inc*nc* shem!

  147. Sparkle on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 7:10 pm 

    Kwaaaaaahaha! JC is hilarious.
    @BS, u r not alone. I’ve been in the desert myself – dry season etla go bontsha di flames.
    @Kiki, u r the pow-wow..lol! I think u need to open a 24/7 “ONS Line” – I’m sure a lot of ladies cud do
    with your advice just before picking their gstrings off the floor and contemplating suicide or temporary heartbreak.
    @Malesesla, I’m also a newbie on JC..cues*U R NOT ALONE – MJ*
    Anyways,here’s my 2cents worth:
    I’ve never has a ONS, but if ur gonna do it: PROTECT URSELF
    Condomize!

  148. Whitechick on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 8:01 pm 

    haha interesting ish

  149. SushiAndLipstick on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 8:09 pm 

    I find that I can detach myself emotionally when having a one night stand with a man I initially felt nothing for. However, in 2009 I slept with a man I had secretly wanted for 4 years,now that didn’t go down so well. We shagged frequently, no conversation, just sex. We made the mistake of actually not having sex when we had intended to, coz when we call each other, its for the purpose of meeting up to have sex. So instead of sex, we sat and spoke for the first time until 5am. I actually saw him as more than just a sexy man with great dick, but he became a potential partner in my eyes. So essentially, the expectation or the longing for a relationship can be curbed if you as an individual know yourself and your soft spots anbd actually put up boundries for yourself and your bootycall. I have since been celibate since march 2010. Sex just isn’t for me anymore.

  150. Kiki on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 8:53 pm 

    @LeeLove weather you do good or bad people will always talk. So the best thing is to STOP living for other people or what’s expected of you and live for YOU. I’d rather be a happy satisfied HO than a victim. Tl tl tl

  151. Nthoentle on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 9:10 pm 

    Yo yo yo!! Interesting indeed like I had expected.
    Kiki is my hero shem, LOL! Tjo gal,u really do U hey, good for u!

  152. kazisongo on Thu, 13th Jan 2011 10:02 pm 

    Kwaaaaaa!@Lela bazokuthengela uGambu apparently it heals everything!

  153. MAESESLA on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 9:03 am 

    lol Kiki…you realy are free spirited nhe. and I think U have a doctrate you attained in UL(university of life) and shwem people will always talk. but then again it doesn’t mean having close to 7 shag partners.

    @coy paine…lol. see thats the excitement I am refering to…and from ur response i can sense that the problem is not with you…lol and i promise not to give you the desmot Tutu speech.

    @SushiAndLipstick. ai it sure has been a dry season for you sweets. Be strong and not give up… you will get ur sexual freedom. a sex free nation is a happy nation. release that tention.

    Sisonke Sparkle

  154. Stufuruz on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 9:14 am 

    Yohhh that was sure enlightning but also THE UGLY THRUTH, nice one.

  155. MissAN on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 9:29 am 

    @ All…Good morning. I think at the end of the day some of us just have weak livers for such things and we feel like we need to be in a relationship in order to sleep with people but then again “Women can fake orgasms and men can fake the whole relationship”

    @Kiki…indaba yeprobation,I really do not believe in that…If a guy wants to sleep with u,he will wait for months,days or weeks and leaves as soon as he gets it…some great relationships started with sex on the 1st date…LOL @ “for example the only time I can give a man a BJ is when I have accepted & welcomed him into my heart as my man bcoz I believe there should be a difference between all these other guys and MY boo” Not that I am implying anything,reminds me of prozzies that do not kiss the customer cos that is reserved for the boyfriend or husband…I just had to say this.

  156. Tweets that mention One Night Stand: (PG 18) | Just Curious -- Topsy.com on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 9:35 am 

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  157. Kiki on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 10:15 am 

    MissAN by probation I didn’t mean don’t sleep with the guy hence I said men put us on probation too and that is why I mentioned the (if you/both want a relationship) meaning long term. No need to put a booty call on probation. Lol.

    My definition for probation in this case is getting to know the guy & deciding weather he is someone you’d like to be in a relationship with,the lil things like romance,flowers,time for you,if he snores,irritating behaviours etc including the sex. Is he worth keeping?

    We all have or should have an ideal partner or qualities that we want our partners to have and you can see most of those things during that probation period.

    Sex doesn’t guarantee you a relationship. You can have a sexual partner or booty call that you wouldn’t be caught dead marrying or being in a relationship with. I hope I make sense.

  158. MissAN on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 10:19 am 

    @ Kiki..Ok..But men and women do not approach realationships the same way as men…we emotional creatures above anything else,and chances are u head over heels with someone before even dating them…I guess we just need to learn not to settle for bullsh*t when it is in ur face and hoping the person will change after a few months or after marriage…

  159. Kiki on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 10:35 am 

    Ewe MissAN like I said maybe I am not a woman coz my approach to relationships NOW is different from most. And I repeat: I am praying for the day when women will overpower being victims.

    Come to think of it,judging from the comments here I don’t think I am the ONLY woman like that sibaninsi. Just like not all men are tough. They can act all thugish but when it comes to matters of the heart some of them become puppy dolls. They have feelings too and when they fall in love they fall deep into it sometimes more than the woman they are with or wanna be with. Hence some will even accept their women no matter how many times they’ve cheated on them or even settle for being second best. #Fact

  160. GA on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 10:50 am 

    One night stand……*cringing*..

    hillarious article…

    lemme read comments.

  161. Thiwe on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 10:50 am 

    @ MissAn: “Women can fake orgasms and men can fake the whole relationship”….HALLELUJAH,AMEN!!!

    @ Kiki: lendaba ye probation – it’s much sweeter after he’s a taste, especially if he’s still around for three months and counting.

    You gotta love this game! You gotta love JC!

  162. MissAN on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 11:01 am 

    @ Kiki… I always think of Sade’s song,Someone already broke my heart…once ur heart is broken,u will never approach relationships in the same manner again…But some women never learn,this thing of jumping from one men to the next is the problem,u never reflect and it becomes a trend in all ur relationship. Kiki also what works for u,may not necessarily work for me & when it comes to matters of the heart,it is science & emotions that no matter how hard u try to control urslef it does not happen.

    @ Thiwe,I don’t know who said that,think Mae West…

  163. Kiki on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 11:02 am 

    Exactly Thiwe mina I if I want a relationship with the guy I will ONLY confirm it after sex. Most of the times Sex is terrible on the first day its normal coz we both not that comfortable but 2nd time (not round) it should be blazing if not then I walk away.

    Thiwe & MissAN women can also fake a whole relationship I am one of them. But I try to avoid faking orgasms its a waste of my sweat. If I am gonna have it I might as well enjoy it if he cums b4 me then he will have to make a plan.

  164. MissAN on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 11:05 am 

    @ Kiki…I am starting to wonder if u do not have emotional issues,phela sometimes people with the most carefree and confident attitude,have unresolved issues and compensate with it by being over confident…#justmythoughts

  165. MissAN on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 11:07 am 

    @ Kiki… how do u fake a relationship? Tjerr Kiki…I can not pretend about anything in life,if I do not like u I do not like u,what more to hop in bed with u?haai uneliver sisi.

  166. MAESESLA on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 11:11 am 

    @Kiki lol. true that… some men can turn to be very emmotional sometimes… infacts some even act and behave like banyana. Peharps you know the movie ” the last kiss” the guy (izzy) was not over his GF even thogh she cheated on him. the girl was totally over him but he was still persisting. believ it or not he even cried.

    they say ladies fall inlove with what they hear(so it is said)and men with what they see. I mean how can mamncane not fall inlove with me if I keep on complimenting her and telling her all this sweetnothings. Phela after the deed we cant just dress and then leave. there must be that little 2lk so you don’t feel like a prostitude. so there is actually a big need to find balance between U being a catalyst on the guys/girls relationship so that you do not fall deep. So all the ladies must make it a challenge to themselves that they find that balance and not find themselves deep in love. and guys since most of the times a bu rakgadi are the best shags than ur Spouses don’t you think u zo yenza a ma phutha?

  167. Zah000 on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 11:17 am 

    Exactly Thiwe mina I if I want a relationship with the guy I will ONLY confirm it after sex.>>>>> Duuude my girls think i’m crazy. I guess we all have a different perspective when it comes to these things. What works for me might not work for you, but i have learnt to keep am open mind. I’m a woman that loves sex and i have since learnt to determine what i want, ask for what i want exactly how i want it! I’m so over the “what if he thinks i’m a ho” phase

    Viva sexual liberation!!!

  168. mama ka Gundi on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 11:23 am 

    Finally i can get 2comment!!

    Kiki mina nawe are mealie meal of the same bag
    @Fezzy & Lela id never survive 6days tjooo *shaking in disbelief*
    I was was recently told that im too sexually active in bed phofu ive got a high sex drive i felt like tiger woods!!

    One night stand naaahhh!! Booty Call yes pity when i fall madly inlove i delete their numbers masengishawe itswayi ngibafuna naku google!!
    Ive met most men who can handle a no strings attached relationship especially if the women suggests it first BIG EGO MAYBE??

  169. MissAN on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 11:23 am 

    @ MAESESLA, bantu now we need to balance everything? how does one control their emotions? If the realtionship works it will work,I think each person needs to find what works for them…I think I have realised personalities that complement each other and actually liking the person more that loving them,works for me…

  170. Kiki on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 11:24 am 

    Yes MissAN we are different but @ the same time we all want the same thing: To love & be loved unconditionally.

    Mina I can never settle for what I don’t want or less. I kissed them frogs and even jumped to find my prince. No regrets what’s so ever.

    Just like I said no matter what you do people will always talk. Looking @ Mbau’s situation for example she has only been with 2 men that we know of. She is not any different from other people that are in the public eye…RGB always shows us the love tree. Most of those people have had more than 2 partners but still Mbau is labelled a HO with only 2 men. I think maybe the only difference is that yena she is in the public eye, she doesn’t want to be chowed for free, she doesn’t come cheap and she is not hiding it. But in this day and age who wants to be used,chowed,cheated on & then tossed aside all for mahala??? Definitely NOT me. I might as well stick to a vibrator.

  171. MAESESLA on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 11:24 am 

    Kiki. lol “if he cums b4 me then he will have to make a plan”
    that is the spirit sisi… that is what i call holding the bull by the horns, holding him by the scrotum. lol.
    he must finish what he started. what is the point of having sex and not coming…w8ste of energy.

    @MissAN. i think you are missingf the point that Kiki is trying to ouline. Not that you h8te him. you feel him but not in the sense that you can invest ur all in him. put him on probation. it is not easy I agree but you are with him on safe mode. like when ur PC had a hardware error and when U switch it on again it ask if u wan start it on safe mode. it ask U that cuase since shti happend then there are chances that it might happen again. so kiki doesn’t start windows normally…no she starts it on safe mode. that is the probation I believe she is refering to. but then again humans have emotions. so the Q is can she control them?

  172. MissAN on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 11:33 am 

    @ MAESESLA Lol @ getting Microsoft on me… I get the point that she is making and I agree with her to a certain extent,the mistake that women generally do is we do not know the qualities we want in a man and hope the guys will change or we will change him…What happens when people love is something that philosophers and sages failed to explain and Science has yet to full understand.

    @ Kiki..K Mbau? u like that chick,that chick is disturbed.period.We all Khanyi Mbau’s,just that she expects Lambos for her a** as apposed to flowers and chocolates. like I said women generally do not know what they want from a guy,until u have that “Aha moment!!” *Oprah’s voice* when u actually know what u expect from a guy and what u are willing to expect,then things go smooth and knowing when to let go.

  173. MissAN on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 11:35 am 

    what u are willing to expect = willing to give

  174. Kiki on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 11:39 am 

    @MAESESLA thank u. MissAN is missing my point shem just like she missed that part when I said if you/both want a serious relationship put him on probation…tl tl tl.

    Yes a relationship can be faked,if u believe that men are doing it then why is it so hard to believe women can do it?

    I don’t have emotional issues MissAN and like I said I am NOT the only woman like that…READ THE COMMENTS here its just that I am elaborating qha but there is many of us. Just bcoz we have different views on relationships & that I refuse being a victim don’t mean I got issues…Tjo!!

    Heheheh we sarted on One Night Stands now we on fire. Thanks Dumi for the topic.

  175. sexymm on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 11:43 am 

    Hawu Fezzy!mkhaya.. cha mina angeke SIX MONTHS?never,phela kungasa ngifile,mina nocansi,together forever.I love sex *not hiding* atleast five times a week.

  176. GA on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 11:45 am 

    *whistling*….hm!…..

    As we continue see and disect the world……

  177. MissAN on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 11:46 am 

    @ Kiki… Like I said,generally women do not know what they want from a relationship or guy,maybe before even putting a guy on probation u need to have a list on what u want ur partner to be like but at the same time be flexible,cos really no one can have everything u want. Not that I find it hard to believe that women can fake a realtionship,i read it somewhere and I generally think men and women do not approach relationships in the same manner,it is great to know how guys think but really for me it would be too consuming to always act like a man and also have my guard up all the time,looking for signs. If it works it will works. I guess it is different strokes for different folks.

  178. fruitcake on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 11:48 am 

    Yah ne! for me the decider in terms of whether we will have a relationship or not will be the kiss, if u are not a good kisser or have halitosis then sorry we wont work out no matter how cute u are, oh and u have to smell good too. I believe that where sex is concerned, you teach people what makes you tick, u show him where to touch and how to touch. If you dont know your body or what satisfies you in bed then no one can pleasure u or it will take forever to find a guy who will ever get it right coz you dont know what you want yourself.

  179. Kiki on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 11:51 am 

    MissAN yes I like her as a person. My point is when it comes to sexual partners people will always judge you irregardless of how many people you have slept with. They will even judge you for being a virgin @ 30

  180. MissAN on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 11:53 am 

    @ Kiki… it is because they make a big deal about it and really nothing gets as natural as that,we are here because of it and it is the best thing God gave humans…

  181. Kiki on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 12:12 pm 

    MissAN I said it: We all have that ideal partner or qualities we expect from our partners. No one is perfect but there are some things that are non negotiable shem. I have mine, just the other day one of my male friends was saying he can’t tell the difference between my man and baby daddy coz bayafana meaning I get attracted to men with similar features and I guess that’s part of my own requirements..lol

    Kwaaaaa @ Fruitcake & the kiss. I feel you shem.

    The other thing that works for me in a man is his feet. Nothing is as attractive as a yellow bone man with clean nicely shaped feet in a sandal…#BLISS

  182. MissAN on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 12:16 pm 

    @ Kiki… yeah,lets stop being victims and nail these dogs *Lol* nami I honestly can never be attracted to ugly guys,haai kabi,I tend to gravitate towards yellow bones… Whooo..Wooo my men has beautiful feet and his a yellow bone…Teeth are a big issue too and guys that are not all over the place,abo maphapheni are a No no for me!!!

  183. MissAN on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 12:17 pm 

    tjerr…my spelling is terrible. woking too much with graphs and number…red pens be lenient.

  184. sexymm on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 12:17 pm 

    @fruitcake,you are so right,the kiss is a must.Ayikho into idina njengomuntu ovele akugcobe ngamathe nje,akhamise engathi uzokugwinya..eeew

  185. MAESESLA on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 12:30 pm 

    @MissAN and Kiki. whats wrong with you guys vele… eew why you calling guys ama yellow bones? yesses… I will never feel comfortable if anyone can call me a yellow bone. Do females also talk like that? like us…say if a gud luking guy pass and you start making sexual and perveted remarks?

    and again why do you guys have to care about the feet? abo maphapheni etc. i thot it is just for sex moes. that doesn’t matter, the main thing for U is to come.lol.

    @sexymm.fruitcake lol. but that is not a problem cause U can teach him how U want to be kissed.some girls prefer using only the lips…others prefer playing with the toungue.

  186. Kiki on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 12:30 pm 

    Kwaaaaaaaaaa @Sexymm *dead*

  187. MissAN on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 12:38 pm 

    @ MAESESLA there same ways u guys prefer girls with weaves or natural hair… I don’t know,but mina I tend to appreciate if someone is goodlooking mara not in a sexual way… Hawu,dude..it is a preference,there same way some guys prefer women that are thin,thick or fat,big boobs,big bums,etc… I have to lie there in bed and appreciate the soul that makes me come…

  188. Kiki on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 12:56 pm 

    Wena MAESESLA uyasukela shem…..so its ok for you guys to call women di pakistan etc but we can’t do the same?? Hehehehh if you had to be a fly on the wall when my girls and my gay friends get together you will have a heart attack shem coz WE TALK. Lol

    Kwaaaaaaa @ saying it should be about sex as long as you come…heheheh you are sooooooo wrong. That’s where u guys loose it. Sex is one of the most important things YES but that doesn’t mean its the ONLY thing that will make me stay with u. It has to be the complete package otherwise u will always be that 20 (booty call) and I will look for or keep the 80.

  189. MAESESLA on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 1:46 pm 

    lol.@Kiki,MissAN. i guess i’m just being a guy. Good luck on ur quest of seperating pleasure from emotions. what does the phrase” a fly on the wall mean?”

  190. Fezzy on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 1:49 pm 

    @popeye…I neva make excuses, ngiyamupha and I actually enjoy it cos he refuses ukungiyeka until I cum (which takes 4eva) but seriously, once a week wud be enough for me.

  191. MissAN on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 1:49 pm 

    @ MAESESLA ” a fly on the wall mean?” uhmm…being like a fly,while Kiki and her pals ar talking about p*nis sizes & karma sutra,if u were a fly on the wall,u would be able to hear the whole conversation…Kiki has mastered that art,of separating pleasure from emotions mina I do not even want to learn,I will remain a victim

  192. MAESESLA on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 2:04 pm 

    @MissAN. lol. ohk. i get it now. I’ts a good thing cause you are sharing ideas.

    so as Zah000 said. Viva sexual liberation Viva. I will kill for more orgasms. I am prepared to die for for more Uzs and uhhs.

  193. fruitcake on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 2:12 pm 

    Tjo @ Maesesla being prepared to die for mapona, aowa!

  194. posh on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 2:36 pm 

    Nonkawu is on fire today!

  195. LeeLove on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 2:50 pm 

    There is no set of behavior that is common to all women. We have a lot in common but we are all very different too. Just because most women are emotional about sex and you aren’t doesn’t mean that u have issues. You might, but u might not as well. I honestly believe that a lot of women’s being emotional about is due to the way we have been socialised. We are brought up to see our sexuality as a bad thing, and it is made clear to us from early on that we will be rejected if we are too sexual so it’s no wonder we get so emotional about sex. We have to do it, we want to do it but at the same time we are crucified if we do it with too many people. So when we do it we feel like we have to keep the guy in our life for a while coz if we move on to someone else our number will go up faster and we will soon be branded sluts.
    There are many negative consequences that result from looking at sex like that like how many women will stay in unhealthy relationships coz they think “how many more guys will i go around before I find a “good” 1 I might as well stay with this 1 who isn’t good for me, as long as he does A, B, C”. In history there have been many civilizations where women behaved much like men, even sexually and it wasn’t because those women had issues it’s just because it was normal in their world. I for 1 have never been emotional about sex. I get far more emotional just cuddling with a guy and so I really only do it once I am ready to go really deep with a guy. Just like some women only have sex with guys once they have really deep feelings for them.. It’s a difference between me and other women not something to be likened to the way a prostitute conducts her business (MisAnn). Sorry for the essay I just had to say something

  196. LeeLove on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 2:57 pm 

    Sorry for misspelling your name MissAn..

  197. MissAN on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 3:02 pm 

    @ LeeLove… I was not saying Kiki is likend to a prostitute,just the comment she made about offering BJ to someone she loves. I have read/heard prostitutes that they keep kissing for boyfriends,no in any way am I comparing her to a prostitute. If u know me,even if someone dies I will still find the funnier side of it. Don’t worry about spelling.

  198. Kiki on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 3:20 pm 

    Now LeeLove has just explained another way or a situation where ‘relationships are faked’ the part where she says some women decide to settle for the one they have in fear of being judged if they move on to the next one.

    Staying in a relationship with someone u don’t want to be with bcoz of certain reasons means pretending/faking for a certain period until u are gatvol and move on or till kingdom come,meaning you will be miserable until you die.

    There are a lot of women in situations like that. Even some men,dude can’t move to no other bed coz of the type of marriage certificate that he signed so he fears to loose everything & just stays in it faking it. Most of us are scared of starting afresh,we feel it will be the end of us. Its sad!!

  199. Lela on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 3:29 pm 

    Thanks Leelove,that’s how I view the whole thing. I believe it does have a lot to do with how we are socialised. Mna I know I will never view sex as just another thing,I am very emotional about it. If it wasn’t for love and imbatyo I would only do it when I get married.

  200. Kiki on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 3:37 pm 

    I think BS should give us a (No Under 18 Anything Goes) every friday. Where we can all rant & rave about relationships & sex. Lol

  201. Kiki on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 3:45 pm 

    Lela the day God answers my prayers you will sing a different tune. *continues with my prayers* I feel sorry for that man of ours,he is starving shem. Lol

  202. MAESESLA on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 3:45 pm 

    @LeeLove. yes sweets. that is the sexual freedom i’m talking about. times have changed. The scenario of where by when a girl can have sex with 3guys and be labeled a Ho and when a guy sleeps with 10 girls is called a men( the master key and shitty lock scenario) must change. this exual freedom is deeper than i thought hey. hope all the ladies are actually taking the infor and making something good* out of it.

  203. LeeLove on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 4:22 pm 

    @ MissAn thanx for clarifying coz I really thought u were serious.

    @ Lela I also don’t see sex as just a thing but it is the least emotional thing about relationships for me.

    @ Kiki & Maesela (?) It’s tough for ladies, men have it easy. But ur right only women can change this. Putting sex on a pedestal can lead to you not only depriving yourself but to u making bad choices too. The only real issue should be about being responsible in your exploits. I really feel like the way women are raised to see sex is the reason men get away with murder in relationships. That’s why women always end up settling. Life is too short for such. It’s time to take our power back. Women should think about the kind of world they would want their daughters to live in. I know that if I were to have 1 I would want her to not make choices motivated by fear of what people will say about the things she does or to do outrageous things just to attract a man and keep him ( like put up with being someone’s doormat) or be the kind of girl who will deprive herself in anyway. #justMy2centsWorth

  204. Lela on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 5:33 pm 

    You are so right LL,Kiki keep praying my love,i need that deliverance khe ndibeyikati nam ebhedini,yho walamba umntu! Maybe lembiza izondinceda,will let u know,krkrkr. Or I should consult with some qeen of gospel ekuthwa indoda uyinyusa ngodonga kuthwa some gospel guy akamkhohlwa uze uyamsaba cause she showed him flames,lol.

  205. oyioyi on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 5:43 pm 

    Kiki Kiki Kiki!!!! I think I ws created from ur rib. I have always been a seriously selfish lover! I do things for my pleasure. Sex kum is sex,I cringe if sumone I’m wth calls it love making, I actually wana run out the door and obviously leave my panties behind so he can rememba me.lol. But I decided in Gr11 wen I lost my virginty that I refuse to make sex a love thing, my first tym ws a one night stand and I am ok wth it. I’m not emotionally damaged and I do believe and relationships but SEX is SEX! Women huz harts live in thr vaginas will always be playing hartbrk songs. Kudala awinnwa amantombi wetu nathi masikhe siwinne. My frends laff, cz I cn c a guy and automatically know if he will give me a gud f*ck. Oh and I also prescribe to the no marriage before sex school of thot!

  206. Uthando on Fri, 14th Jan 2011 10:50 pm 

    Yoooo kuyathethwa apha Thiza!!

  207. QueenPee on Sat, 15th Jan 2011 1:35 am 

    Interesting Blog Dumi and well said.

  208. Sam on Sun, 16th Jan 2011 12:36 pm 

    LOLERING!!!! Dumi wayenza indaba…nice one man! Clearly the world would come to a standstill if there would be no more sex! hehehee

  209. gudgal on Mon, 17th Jan 2011 3:39 pm 

    @Sam im sure it would.

  210. Pappy on Mon, 17th Jan 2011 4:17 pm 

    Dead @ “ill kill for more Uhz and Ahhz” *imagination running wild*

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