Dear Beyonce

May 4, 2011 by Guest Blogger

Guest Post :

Dear Beyonce

or should I say Sasha Fierce? Wait is that a stage name or your pornstar name because I’m somewhat confused with all those rather *cough* strategically placed pieces of shiny material your mother calls outfits.

What can I say, you always release the platinum platinum limited edition white gold diamond uber-duber-even-if-you-have-all-the-versions-of-my-CD-you’re-missing-out-if-you-don’t-have-this-one of your chart topping new album. Snaps for you. You do know there’s a global recession, right? And with every version of the same CD that is bought, you could have fed at least 2 starving families in Sudan.

I also feel I need to give you some advice as you seem to be having an identity crisis of late, or pehaps you’ve sniffed too much hairspray? Both quite possible. Firstly, if you were indeed a boy, you would most probably have a penis. Go check, this should clear up all angst, ambiguity and whining.

Secondly, what exactly does a halo feel like? And does Jesus know you’re going around fondling his halo? Seriously, if I were him I’d draw up a restraining order ASAP.

Another thing, I was quite troubled to see you have some sort of seizure when you sing one of your songs. Now, when you sing:

“I’ma-a diva (hey), I’ma, I’ma-a diva (hey)
I’ma, I’ma-a diva (hey), I’ma, I’ma-a diva
I’ma, I’ma-a diva (hey), I’ma, I’ma a diva
I’ma, I’ma a diva (hey), I’ma, I’ma a di…
Na-na-na, diva is a female version of a hustla, of a hustla, of a, of a hustla…
Na-na-na, diva is a female version of a hustla, of a hustla, of a, of a hustla…”

Is this because you’re high off ADHD drugs or did you run out of lyrical inspiration and trying to be gangster was your only hope?

Lastly, you do know that your core audience is the gay male community, right? So when you start flaunting the fact that “if you liked it then you should’ve put a ring on it”, it could be interpreted in many, rather disturbing ways than you hetero women couldn’t even imagine.

Just thought I’d give you a heads up

Hugs and smooches

Gaby Santino

Anyway I agree with those that can’t seem to understand her new song. There was so much hype around it on 5FM the other day, Anele Mdoda going on and on about how great it was.
I thought it would grow into me but that has yet to happen.
All I hear are her never ending shrieks, she does not think its necessary to sing anymore.
It very sad to see a woman of her calibre doubting her abilities so much that she thinks of re inventing herself to compete with bo Rihanna and the likes and produces something totally shocking and offensive to the ear.
***Haibo guys, did you have to choose that most unflattering pic of my girl B?***

Lady gaga on Wed, 4th May 2011 8:12 am

Is that cellulite i see there??? No, it cant be. Not Beyonce!!!

Mapakisha on Wed, 4th May 2011 8:15 am

HATER!!**inNonclair’svoice… Tjo!

Lela on Wed, 4th May 2011 8:29 am

Kodwa uYesu uyabuya bethunana. Was this married woman perfoming in that should-be-reserved-for-his-hubby’s-eyes-only outfit?

Siyamthanda on Wed, 4th May 2011 8:29 am

Ha! even Beyonce has cellulite *Praise guard now I can stop having sex in the dark*

Siyamthanda on Wed, 4th May 2011 8:32 am

@Jahara its Thokozani Langa or something he also says something about Riri in his song! hahaha “mangibona amadolo ngisheshe ngifike entombhini”

Savanah Dry on Wed, 4th May 2011 8:32 am

Love the humour in this good writing!!

Mmaditaba on Wed, 4th May 2011 8:34 am

Lmfbao! @Siya!

Mmaditaba on Wed, 4th May 2011 8:35 am

Lmfbao! @Siya! And if your man screams ,gal just show him the Beyonxe’s pic. It’l bring him bk 2 earth…no1 is perfct. Beyonce is full proof

Mapakisha on Wed, 4th May 2011 8:41 am

#TeamBeyonce#TeamCellulite. Abanye ba khuluma kakhulu sengathi abanawo ama dimples. HA!

Kiki on Wed, 4th May 2011 8:44 am

Ewe Mapakisha,no one is perfect. #TeamBeyonce #TeamCellulite

Kell on Wed, 4th May 2011 8:54 am

This letter? Like Seriously? *In Retini’s voive*

Makgotso on Wed, 4th May 2011 8:58 am

I just love the humour in this letter.

Anyway Beyonce lost me when she started competing with Riri.

SunshineK on Wed, 4th May 2011 9:00 am

Wow, what a bad article. I knew it wouldn’t exactly be praising Beyonce but, like this! Haai. It didnt make sense to me and feels like you just wanted to hate on someone but didnt put together a proper argument to do so. Please stick to whatever you do when you’re not writing bad articles.

#TeamBeyonce!!!
#TeamCellulite!!!

*goes back to silent blogging*

Kusihlwa on Wed, 4th May 2011 9:03 am

Oh he,perfection is in the eye of the beholder regarding the cellulite issue. However, I also believe that Beyonce has lost the plot busy competing with Riri who is in her early 20′s wikll she is speeding to her 40′s if she isnt already there. I feel sorry for her and wish that she can go back to the crazy in love days…

Mapakisha on Wed, 4th May 2011 9:08 am

I must’ve been busy trying to hide my cellulite when Beyonce said she was in competition with Rihanna, i thought Rihanna was competing with the man “Cici”. Or is every female artist older than her out to get her?*shrugs*. She’s turning 30 in september by the way.. jussayin!

2mi on Wed, 4th May 2011 9:13 am

This letter= highly unnecessary. If you were a true B fan you would know that she puts on stockins and I would assume most of y’all ‘ladies’ know what would happen to stockins after a performance such a lady like B gives. O_o

Lastly I do not understand why you would put yourself through so much torment over someone you do not like nor appreciate her art work, ADD maybe? *smh*
At the rate you are going, with the type of articles you write, I’m sure a certain sunday newspaper has their eyes on you #disappointed

Raquel on Wed, 4th May 2011 9:17 am

SMH,what do you guys mean when you say Beyonce is competing with Riri? They are not even in the same level,they don’t pay the same taxis. B* is a veteran in the game uRiri yena is the one who has lost the plot by going all vampire on us. She used to be a good girl (not singer coz she can’t sing vele) but now she looks and acts like a witch.

Beyonce is a Queen and how Riri dresses now B did it before. So who is copying who here?

Mmaditaba on Wed, 4th May 2011 9:23 am

Kwaaaaa Gaby waze wazi faka emulilweni ngoBeyonxe! They coming at ya with claws baby..i just wonder though,had you written about someone else like Swati gal whos they say is a woman of God .would they still say “you hating” cause last i checked you wrote down your opinion whch ur entitled. How bad this article is just because you happen to jump on the queen of fury, I don’t know.. All i knw is i never imagined B* with cellulite(i mean thatz for ordinary people like me). Infact this is the 1st pic i’v witnessd this!

Mapakisha on Wed, 4th May 2011 9:25 am

Thank you @ Raquel, couldn’t have said it better..

Mmaditaba on Wed, 4th May 2011 9:27 am

1st pic of her

Mmaditaba on Wed, 4th May 2011 9:30 am

A diva is a female version of a hustle/of a hustler/ of hustler *singing with my vocally challengd voice*

Mmaditaba on Wed, 4th May 2011 9:33 am

Remember those walls i built/Well baby they tumbling do0own/They didnt even put up a fight/ They didn’t even make a sound………. #LovedHalo

MsRooi on Wed, 4th May 2011 9:52 am

THIS—–> “Another thing, I was quite troubled to see you have some sort of seizure when you sing one of your songs.” <—- *dead*

Tjo Gaby is being attacked by Beyonce stans! Tltltltltl.. I can't! #deathby "they don't pay the same TAXIS"… I honestly can't! Kwaaaaaaa

theeMAtshepo on Wed, 4th May 2011 9:58 am

Hater!!!!!
lol to the guy with shades on trying to get a glipse of Jayz’s dishebo.

theeMAtshepo on Wed, 4th May 2011 10:00 am

by the way, only a hater would expose Beyonce’s cellulite like that. tltltltltltl

Mmaditaba on Wed, 4th May 2011 10:05 am

TheeMAtshepo kwaaaaa

ThatoM on Wed, 4th May 2011 10:09 am

@2mi and SunshineK couldn’t have said it better hi5

Kusihlwa on Wed, 4th May 2011 10:42 am

I agree with Mmaditaba, its Gaby’s opinion and she is entitled to but it also leaves room for people to disagree and debate. The other bad thing about bieng a die hard fan of a person is that your love and worship for them blinds you from seeing thier bad side or criticise them constructively. I dont know anything about hating and haters but I love seeing things from another persons view instead of alweays thinking that my view is right all the time.

beeno on Wed, 4th May 2011 10:47 am

I had to crawl out of silentville for this: that is not cellulite bt pantihose, check out all her live performances, she wears these sheer pantyhoses. Btw I love JC and its bloggers.

lorrelai on Wed, 4th May 2011 10:50 am

#teamBEYONCE!!, this is funny though. lol!

MissAN on Wed, 4th May 2011 10:51 am

Iam not a fan of B,but I appreciate the hardwork she puts in her show and would buy a golden circle ticket if she were ever tour SA and will be in awe of her cellulite. Mara,cha that new song,Girl… As Glenzito said the other day ‘a kwaito song gone wrong’

@ SunshineK,ngivumelana nawe. I mean,B would probably never see this and as someone said,she dont pay the same ‘taxis’ as Gaby. I got lost with the points of this article,even @Xtra made an interesting Open Letter to Sizwe however personal it seemed. @ Raquel mara there is always a new IT Girl in the game,I am again not a fan mara Riri is sizzling right now,le B doesnt have the hottest voice,I think mara she make up for it with great,catchy song,vids,great perfomances and hardwork. There is nothing new under the sun,B looks are inspired by someone and Riri is inspired by B.

Lela on Wed, 4th May 2011 10:52 am

Yhe hake ufuna undixelela uba asiwazi umahluko phakathi kwe pentihose ne celulite?

cijimpi on Wed, 4th May 2011 11:09 am

somebody SHOOT that Gaby, what a terrible article!

P-kudi on Wed, 4th May 2011 11:13 am

This open letter was a ‘worst’ of my time nje,totally POINTLESS and not amusing at all, and taht thing about her core audience being the gay community….like WTF????? so what? mncm.

MissAN on Wed, 4th May 2011 11:23 am

@ Cijimpi. You sum it up well.

Biskiti on Wed, 4th May 2011 11:23 am

Mapakisha, Maditaba, 2mi le Raphael we need to open a BeyonceSA Inc…lol..and give her proper representation in Africa..lol. Gaby is probably a Rihanna fan and is doing her utmost to discredit royalty. Rihanna wishes and dreams to be on the same lane as Queen B, she’s lagging by a decade at least.

I give credit where it’s due, Riri outdid herself on her latest album. Her vocals have exponential transformed overnight and she sounds good. I just have one thing, i’d like to see and hear her LIVE, then i might get over the idea that she has a Deborah Fraiser singing in studio on her behalf.

Gaby, get over yourself, June is near and you will be dancing to her entire disk. I am tripple diamond edition was bauss, nothing is stoping Queen B.

Raquel on Wed, 4th May 2011 11:25 am

MissAN I didn’t say B has the best voice. My comment was directed at those who said B is competing with Riri. It’s like saying Busi Mhlongo used to compete with Thandiswa..really now?

B may not have the best voice but hers is better than Riri’s that’s for sure.

Mapakisha on Wed, 4th May 2011 11:40 am

Ijonnaa Biskiti, it’s like u read my mind about Rihanna singing LIVE, please let her try & let’s see what happens to her fans. #TEAMBeyonceSA Inc forever, ake batle le ho tseba anything else.

Mapakisha on Wed, 4th May 2011 11:41 am

Oh & #TeamShootGabby!!

Dark8lord on Wed, 4th May 2011 11:45 am

Tjooooo! The way this letter just killed me nhe. I love it. ROTFLMFAO. And I agree on the most of Beyonce’s fans being gay guys ( and sometimes fag hags)

P-kudi on Wed, 4th May 2011 11:50 am

So what if the fans are gay? i really don’t understand,is it something to be ashamed of? is it a bad thing? or maybe its funny? smh

GA on Wed, 4th May 2011 11:51 am

lol

Im not fan of Beyonces, but i appreciate the fact that she is one of the best entertainers and besr rnb vocalist of our time. She appears to work hard at everything she delivers. And she is beautifull. And yes thats pantyhose…and who cares is she has cellulite?

Dark8lord on Wed, 4th May 2011 11:55 am

#TeamHalo I love that song and have made countless cover and acoustic versions of it.

GAby this is a great articlce, you know what they say THE TRUTH HURTS.

Why can’t Rihanna and Beyonce fans co-exist in peace? I’m a Rihanna fan but I’m not afraid to admit that Bey is better than RhiRhi, from perfomances straight through to vocals.

Now can we all go to youtube and watch Rihaanna’s Te Amo again, doesn’t that video make you crave lesbian sex?

Mmaditaba on Wed, 4th May 2011 11:58 am

Laughing my butt off at “ake batle le ho tseba anything elsd” *dead*

mamamia on Wed, 4th May 2011 11:58 am

I’m sorry i read this letter 3 times, it makes me feel instead like i have ADD!!!
*nothing is making sense*

Can somebody who understands it offer a translation!!!

Lela on Wed, 4th May 2011 12:08 pm

There is nothingt wrong with this letter shem qha niyazenzisa because u are #teamCellulite!

Mmaditaba on Wed, 4th May 2011 12:11 pm

Mamamia are you seriously in the dark about the letter? Or you’re just being sarcastic.

Mapakisha on Wed, 4th May 2011 12:18 pm

I’ll give you translation Mamamia,,,,, this writer chick is a man who has issues with Beyonce cos she’s really a woman.

Mapakisha on Wed, 4th May 2011 12:20 pm

*clapsonce*@ Dark8′s lesbian sex comment. Ke maketse fela, hai!

Tasj DIVA Madinda on Wed, 4th May 2011 12:25 pm

Maybe just maybe instead of ridiculing someone else’s career – who is way above your league you should polish up your writing skills and then also use the spell check before you submit a post.

I can’t believe you would even go this far as to ridicule another sister for ububhanxa! Is this what you are using your so-called-writing skills for? I mean seriously go find a better topic or something more credible to write about before posting such utter rubish on Just Curious because it just discredits everything this website is about and will make people like me who love the site just not visit it anymore.

#DIVApissed off!

Savanah Dry on Wed, 4th May 2011 12:38 pm

# Team Gaby

I think you guys are taking this too seriously read it carefully and you will see the humour and fun in the article i dnt think Gaby is a Bey bey Hater. Read in between the lines and you will get the Gist of the article….one line you can start with is this one___________>secondly, what exactly does a halo feel like? And does Jesus know you’re going around fondling his halo? Seriously, if I were him I’d draw up a restraining order ASAP.

Lela on Wed, 4th May 2011 12:40 pm

Excuse you Diva what what! Who said this site was about you?

Vicky_N on Wed, 4th May 2011 12:47 pm

No offence or anything but @P-kudi, r u gay? Coz the ‘gay’ thing seems to have gotten u worked up…

J.A.Y on Wed, 4th May 2011 12:53 pm

That part made me chuckle and pay attention…

…and then you lost me on the halo and Jesus and seizures and gays and “put a ring on it” – which is pretty much the rest of the letter.

[stamp] RETURN TO SENDER [stamp]

mamamia on Wed, 4th May 2011 1:06 pm

@mmaditaba, i’m not being sarcastic i’m serious.
our guests blogger’s running commentary on Beyonce/sasha fierce does not gel – 4 me!
What is the gist of the letter really, the writer offers no basis for the criticism..NO le he bare i’m iliterate.

The writer had me at Dear Beyonce and swiftly lost me at “Firstly, if you were indeed a boy, you would most probably have a PENIS.” HUH what is this in context to?

The Halo part threw me into the Vaal dam.

*still shaking my head*

this 1′s a miss.

Kiki on Wed, 4th May 2011 1:17 pm

Let me also write a letter to Bruno nton nton.

Mmaditaba on Wed, 4th May 2011 1:23 pm

Yoh Rotlmao @Mamamia ai please the child a break. Nna all i knw and like is she kept me busy durimg my bitter insomnia. Okay u dnt like the piece,done she’ll do better next time. A ke le eme nou

Tjo lol. Gabi wherever you are please dnt cum out!

Mmaditaba on Wed, 4th May 2011 1:26 pm

Askies for the typos. B4 leng kgama

Lmao.Kiki chances are they’ll like yours,since you’re already a brand laye khaya. Poor Gabi for being a guest

MissAN on Wed, 4th May 2011 1:31 pm

Eish I wish I had the time to analyse the stuff that were meant to be funny but just do not make sense…lemme be quick…

1. ‘or should I say Sasha Fierce? Wait is that a stage name or your pornstar name because I’m somewhat confused with all those rather *cough* strategically placed pieces of shiny material your mother calls outfits.” Duh… do we expect Beyonce to perfom looking like a nun? She has an image to sell and its what makes her Beyonce…

2.’And with every version of the same CD that is bought, you could have fed at least 2 starving families in Sudan.’ Uhmm…who must buy the CD’s Beyonce or her fans? Which makes me wonder who ‘You’ is in this sentence,the public or Beyonce? Who is inhaling hairspray?

3.’Firstly, if you were indeed a boy, you would most probably have a penis. Go check, this should clear up all angst, ambiguity and whining.’ There is something called contextual meaning and this song just plays on how man act in relationships ..Read the lyrics and watch the video,slowly,so you can understand and repeat if its still unclear.

4.’Secondly, what exactly does a halo feel like? And does Jesus know you’re going around fondling his halo? ‘ I am not sure you know what a halo is,but I think it can not be touched and therefore I doubt fondled,again contextual meaning,halo is that light that angels are supposed to radiate on their heads…So B just says the significant other is equivalent to an Angel not Jesus…

5.’Another thing, I was quite troubled to see you have some sort of seizure when you sing one of your songs…Is this because you’re high off ADHD drugs’ I quickly googled whether people with ADHD suffer seizure and it seems they do…I always thought it has to do with a short attention span and hyperactivity…I wanted to replace Epilepsy with ADHD since its notorious for causing seizure…Looks likes its the only thing that makes sense…

6.’Lastly, you do know that your core audience is the gay male community, right? So when you start flaunting the fact that “if you liked it then you should’ve put a ring on it’ Again,it seems like you did not get the context…We all know she is talking about the guy can not chow for free he must make a good wife of the girl *Mo’s voice*…which straight female will confuse that,we all wonder if the guy is just using me or actually has future plans that include me,the kids,him,the ring and the picket fence…

Can we not label people haters when they disagree with articles..this article does not make sense at all,I appreciate the effort @Gaby,mara he must read Zamaniac,Dumi Gwebu,Mabler’s article to achieve that type of humour he was trying to get to…

Siyamthanda on Wed, 4th May 2011 1:44 pm

@Beeno that is not just sheer pantihose, that is cellulite under sheer pantyhose *passes you magnifying glasses.

siya on Wed, 4th May 2011 1:47 pm

whoooo @ MissAN! nice one though, nice one, u summed it up very well! Need i say more?

Mmaditaba on Wed, 4th May 2011 1:51 pm

MissAN .thats why i call you Smart. With what u’ve just said i can lay to rest because nw that was gud constructive critisism!

MiniAyeye on Wed, 4th May 2011 1:57 pm

Thanx MissAN, nicely said

Alexis on Wed, 4th May 2011 2:08 pm

hahahaha, this is very funny. So anyway, what’s the problem with mentioning her cellulite ladies? it’s there mos and it’s a load. with all that jumping around she does, the quakes ripple under the skin.

Beyonce has inspired a LOT of people! had it not been for this woman, the fat girls would still be cooped up in the house. she’s what defined hot in recent years and because it’s the hip hop era, chubby woman shall be in demand. so to the ladies who look as though they’ve given birth 6 times, EMBRACE IT/ EMBRACE HER (BEE) as well as Nicki minaj and lady gaga. power to the vetkoeks and raging hormones.

MashDiva on Wed, 4th May 2011 2:26 pm

I think Gaby is a huge Beyonce fan. How can u pay so much attention to someone u dnt like??? Great article though. #TeamCellulite

Biskiti on Wed, 4th May 2011 2:30 pm

I still don’t get it when people say Beyonce is FAT, if she is then what is poor Monique and bo Aubrey Sedibi (sp)? Haayi maan, she’s bootylicious finish and klaar!

MissAN, you are definitely in the executive board of BeyonceSA Incorporated, somewhere in Legal or even PR!

Mapakisha on Wed, 4th May 2011 2:37 pm

@ Beyonce has inspired a LOT of people! yeah she did & i ain’t afraid to say i’m 1 of dem.. plus she not fat, o pakile fela qha! Just like…..

Lela on Wed, 4th May 2011 2:38 pm

There is nothing that needs constructive criticism here, MissAN just has too much time on her hands. Just because you dont like what another child says about Beyonce does not make this a bad article finish and klaar. That is why there are people like me who found it funny and who got the point.You are busy pulling the child down because she came off on your idol now you want to make her feel like she is a bad writer. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this article except Beyonce’s cellulite ofcause.

Wild Island on Wed, 4th May 2011 2:48 pm

yooo MisA…long long..let me read

Buhlebonga on Wed, 4th May 2011 2:55 pm

Wow. I feel like I’m on That Grape Juice and Gaby is being accused of “throwing shade” at Beyonce, while the stans are saying that she’s going to ‘slay’
Ja neh. Beyonce is powerful. Still don’t like her and her music

P-kudi on Wed, 4th May 2011 3:04 pm

Aaaaaaand te award for best ‘Dear Beyonce’ open letter goes to………MIssaAnn obvious!
@Vicky_N no sweetie, im a heterosexual female and i don’t even have any emmediate gay freinds.

MissAN on Wed, 4th May 2011 3:05 pm

@ Lela…uhmm…I will be as respectful as possible mara let me just say,I am not a B fan,I do not own any cd or even know the lyrics to even one song but I do however have know most lyrics to Lauren Hill’s songs,so I hope you can tell which type of musicians I ‘idolise’ as you said with Beyonce.

I mentioned this many times and even on previous articles,I like the hardwork that B puts in her craft and I think it counts 70% than her talent…Its like Bonang,I am not a fan but I appreciate how hard she works and how she stays on top of her game.

I get what @Gaby was trying to get with that article but I really missed the humour because and I am not in anyway trying to put her down,I just found the article not make any sense…For someone who I think is in media,I guess I will take your word for it that this is a great article. I do not restrict my articles to Just Curious bloggers,I do also like ‘intelligent’ articles that are on Sunday Times lifestyle and not even mentioning the Review section. I refuse to be a Yes Man,I mean I am not even being mean about it and I hope @Gaby does not feel offended and does not even have to use my useless piece of ‘constructive critism’ … I mean I sit on JC the whole day,what do I know….

@Biskiti…I decline that position…Lol

@Alexis…Lol @Vetkoeks…

Kiki on Wed, 4th May 2011 3:15 pm

Aaaaawuu MissAN,what more can one say after this? Thank you Sisi. You really put it out very well and it makes perfect sense. You are not bitter on your comment at all,you have a clear mind and it shines through. I am speechless in a good way.

@Mmaditaba,i dont think Bloggers will like the article hey? When it comes to Bruno I will sound like Gaby if not worse trust me. That’s why I better not. LOL

Lela on Wed, 4th May 2011 3:19 pm

I am not in anyway saying everyone should find the article humourous or get the point,normally when u dnt get the point you move to the next article. There has been many articles that I pass because I dont get the point. Then there are those like Tendo’s where an article really needed constructive criticism. My point is just because an article doesn’t speak to the person at that time does not mean we should discredit the writer. This is not directed to you MissAn,it’s just that people used ur clarity to ride on it to justfy their silly comments. If you read the comments really this article is too good to deserve such.

Mapakisha on Wed, 4th May 2011 3:22 pm

I still say the article sucks & that remains my opinion.

softnfree on Wed, 4th May 2011 3:22 pm

Its not what one says (writes) but how they say it !

Unfortunately word play is not for everyone.

Mmaditaba on Wed, 4th May 2011 3:23 pm

Alexis having butt does not make you a vetkoek okay miss Anorexic.#Ithankyou

Lady gaga on Wed, 4th May 2011 3:24 pm

am lazy to read MissAN’s comment*sigh*

Wild Island on Wed, 4th May 2011 3:26 pm

NICE ONE MA..

MiniAyeye on Wed, 4th May 2011 3:28 pm

LoL Mmaditaba*side eyes Mapakisha*

Mmaditaba on Wed, 4th May 2011 3:30 pm

@Kiki in that case LMAO point taken!

softnfree on Wed, 4th May 2011 3:36 pm

I have often said things inside my head and they sounded cool,witty,humorous,etc but when I say them out loud (put thoughts on paper, speak , etc) they just came out either tacky, too rehearsed, if not unpolished or worse not funny or thought provoking to the reader (at all)

Then I realized there is a difference between thinking ur thoughts (outlook) are amusing hence they prompt one to share or its just catharsis taking place.

And how I wish every writer could find within themselves that process of catharsis and purge the energy of thought and align it with word play…

That is what captures a reader,,not the words nor the swagger style but HOW YOU connected with words.

Playing with words is a beautiful gift (some-what-an-acquired skill) and not everyone has the ability to tap into that motion of A.E.I.O.U

I read Gaby’s pierce and a smirk here and there plus an eyebrow raised (here and there) couple with a creased forehead but none-the-less I finished the article (while resisting not to scan) and I think Gaby has the nitch of writting and you just need to refine it and trap that energgy within your writing

Good Luck Gaby and I will mos definetly be reading (and expecting) more of your refined wittiness.

#passes Gaby black forest cake*

U are a star.

Alexis on Wed, 4th May 2011 3:51 pm

Okay Maditaba a.k.a Miss Obese

neither does being small make one anorexic, (jealousy makes you nasty)

mamamia on Wed, 4th May 2011 4:14 pm

My vote goes to @MissAN

@Softnfree elegantly stated.

@Gaby you can’t win all the time, ask MaBlerh tltltltltlt.

Gape some of us are slow learners, di network di nale go lahla connection.

Mmaditaba on Wed, 4th May 2011 4:15 pm

Lol if in ur lil obscure vision ,having a sexy body means ‘obese’ .then i must say jealousy didnt nly make u nasty Alexy it left itz paws on ur tiny sized pinched arrogance. All you need to do is really just quit typing cause what really happens when you try is Bombs.and mind u i thot we left that in the sea where Bin Laden your biological father bt flee at your birth is laying in Peace. #StayInYourPlankaLane sponsoredSheep

Fezzy on Wed, 4th May 2011 4:32 pm

Kwaaaaaa at Bin Laden your biological father.
Love u JC bloggers…hayi nizombulala umuntu

Wild Island on Wed, 4th May 2011 4:38 pm

tjo fezzy ungazuliphinde…skawara gabz uzoba right next time mara ask BS for pointers there and there yabo…
ya the a e i o u statement eish lol *entrols to ABET AGAIN” LOL

Rethabile on Wed, 4th May 2011 4:40 pm

Tltltltltltl!! #donewithme

MissAN on Wed, 4th May 2011 4:59 pm

@ sofnfree… You have hit the spot. Pity most of us could not put properly in words what we thought about the article without coming across as too proBeyonce or haters.

@ Gaby without sounding like Iam patronising u,there is potential in your writing, I suggest u read -if u dont already- that Ngcobo guy from Sunday Times Lifestyle,forgot his and ofcourse @Mablerh articles.

Ma2Stash on Wed, 4th May 2011 5:14 pm

shem Gaby wabantu …next tym sisi i got it.. i didnt laugh though but i got it…

eish Alexis uyahlanzisana yaz ….dont u have another company to part-direct or something …

MsRooi on Wed, 4th May 2011 6:04 pm

Lmfao! #deathby “Sponsored Sheep”! Kwaaaaaaaaaa.. *cremated* woooo, viva Lela viva! I love MissAN though, even though I don’t agree with her! Ayeye! Battle of The oldies! Tltltltltl.. *visits Alexis at sea with her bombs* hahaha

Jahara on Wed, 4th May 2011 6:22 pm

Wots is goin un? *naija accent* Chineke!!

@Sefula i will behave…but i just had to say it. My dream is to meet u all JC bloggers in person 1day(like a JC circle of life kinda get2geda),but i dont wanna be shocked by neck cellulite….*innocent face*

@Mmaditaba & @Alexis watz with ”obese vs anorexic”? Moi just wanna tell u dat i luv u all…bony,meaty,sexy & all shapes,so just stop it already.

@Sofnfree u seem to have all sorts of comfort delicacies….chamomile tea,black forest cake….*drooling*

Ntajingah on Wed, 4th May 2011 6:47 pm

*yawns*

MissGalaxy on Wed, 4th May 2011 7:03 pm

Kwaaaaaaaaaaa…#roflmcao…hands @Mmaditaba a machete…alexis needs help, o rata attention jong!!!MissN spot on.

#proudly team Beyonce

RAHOO on Wed, 4th May 2011 8:06 pm

this chick needs a serious lovemaking that guy Jigga is playing games,if i grab her ass imma do her until she scream “fuck singing”

Dark8lord on Thu, 5th May 2011 12:04 pm

Nice one Softnfree , instead of just putting her down you give her guidance. now if all the others could do the same…

lbg on Thu, 5th May 2011 3:09 pm

Dnt b a hater lo *hides behind nonhle thema*

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