Rich Men

July 11, 2011 by Ntsiki Mazwai

I recently had a huge fallout with a friend I love dearly. We made plans to go to the Durban July and then one night she sent me a text saying she is sitting with potential ‘sponsors’ (rich guys) for our Durban July trip. I was horrified, not only is she a beautiful, independent, strong woman… but I just don’t like this concept of using people. For me, I believe that what goes around, comes around. You too shall receive what you put out into the universe.

Mara on the real though, what is this thing where women chase after rich men? Now this problem had been with humanity for ages, so really it’s nothing new, but I have a few minor concerns about a man paying my way.

Understandably, when you take out money for something, you have a sense of entitlement to that thing. This is constantly played out in the club scene. A guy offers you a drink then expects you to hang out with him the rest of the night. The more alcohol he feeds you, the more likely it is that he is getting some. This same scenario plays out at different clubs. So vele as a chick, if you came to the club relying on free drinks and transport home, you must then enjoy your night out, within the confines of the ‘sponsor.’ Phela men these days have caught onto that trick, so just when you think you are screwing them, they are screwing you.

Why is it that women dream to find a rich man? Wouldn’t it be smarter to rather focus on making a rich woman out of yourself? To be that power yourself. It’s nice to spend someone else’s money but it’s much sweeter spending your own money. You can’t floss on someone else’s money, okusalayo akusi yeyakho! When the relationship ends with a rich man- he will still be rich, and you will surely have a long fall down. On the other hand, if you are your own wealth, you just keep rocking.

There is also a sense of arrogance that sometimes comes with a rich man. They may not view you as an equal entity in the relationship, so it always ends up being about him. It’s easy to lose yourself and compromise your standards when you are financially dependent on somebody else. It becomes okay for him to disappear and do his will, just as long as he has paid his way with you. The thing is though, no matter how much we try to front about it…we all want to be loved.

For me, I can’t enter into relationships with people with money as the driving force. Love is about who makes me happy. Some may argue that this view is for a perfect world, because money is always an issue. I agree with you, but can money not mean more than my dignity and self respect bathong?

And don’t get it twisted ladies, men will perpetuate this stereotype because it works for them too. It secures that lifestyle of fast cars and frequently-changing-easy-girls. Money is the short cut to ‘that thing.’ And if you are one of those, that has convinced themselves that ‘wena you don’t care,’ you just want nice things… hmmm those nice things are putting you in quite a vulnerable position aren’t they my lady? Because really… you don’t think that rich man is shagging just you right?

Strusbob! I don’t understand why we look down on prostitutes, when we are doing the same thing….

By Ntsiki Mazwai ©

I always tell people that one of the greatest aspect of being a man is that, from a young age society has taught / socially engineered me into believing that my toil is what makes the world spin around. U make things happen for URSELF & that’s why masculinity is seen as a state of power. In fact capitalism benefits men than it does women.

But women on the other hand are socialized differently. Society engineers them to be these beings that groom their beauty and used that to bag themselves a rich man / a man who’s well off and then claim independence. That’s why femininity is seen as a state of weakness and not that of power.

Even though I’m very scornful of such tendencies, I don’t blame women who only dedicate their time to get into VIP sections of clubs so that these rich / made men can be in their view b/c that’s how U have been modeled by the world.

Independence is all about U women forgoing what U have been socialized to be by traditions of our societies / cultures / religions. Being platinum diggers shouldn’t be seen as a way of life that brings esteem for women.

Alexis on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 6:54 am

Wow, for a change I enjoyed reading Ntsiki’s article! Keep it this way girl.

Now let me begin!
I’m one of the many women dubbed, gold digger etc. As sick as it sounds, I guess that’s what I am if it makes one sleep better @ night.
I only date RICH men, the fast cars, penthouses, clothing brands, the breath-taking scenes on stunning holidays etc, well this has to come standard for me cause I believe one carves their lifestyle and only you can can choose what you allow into your life.

Obviously most rich men are much older than their young pretty things, men can detect a woman’s intentions from point A! I grew up a well off child, so why should I settle for anything less than a well off man? I too want to be loved and just because I choose not to put myself in the arms of a broke “man”, (who by the way cheats just as much as a rich man) does make me full of bad intentions. Do the rich not need love too? Or does their money intimidate you? Power and wealth are two of the most important criteria’s for me when choosing a man because that’s how I define a man in my books. I’m not attracted to anything lesser than that, and by the way, majority of women “gold-digging” are doing it wrong, e.g: Khanyi Mbau, she didn’t even walk out with as much as a fridge, mattress?! So she was the one getting played!
I’m currently dating a very wealthy man, and you know what they say, like attracts like. Rich men teach you their ways, they help elevate you, they don’t just “use” a woman, they make it easier for you, relish you with some great opportunities you otherwise would only dream of getting. Wealthy men, not “rich” guys, wealthy men, it exudes from inside out. For some odd reason, those are the only men I attract, came to find out wealthy men only go for skinny women, as they the one’s who fit the bill for the kind of life-style they live. An adventure filled one, imagine a stubby women tryna bungee-jump? Errr thought not.

I’m all for Rich men, just cause I’m with one doesn’t make me a gold-digging piece of ****! They need love too! if the wallet is getting fat, one can only take it out for some exercise and seeing that the man is usually too busy on his power trip, I’ll gladly take it 4 him. Who even calls a broke man, a man these days? I need a provider, think for your kids as well. Don’t have a child yet, but my child can’t grow up hungry or attend rowdy school’s or live in just a home, oh hell no! Men hustle, how big is your man hustle?

Goodness me, I’ll be back to re-post, my comment has lost the plot. Its too early in the morning. Later

Bootylicious on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 7:14 am

Thatha Alexis… Nice article I have dated a rich man and I honestly liked him and his money of course, he insited I quit my job but I just couldn’t things didn’t work out between us. I am just glad I never quit my job and I don’t dream of doing that no mattert how rich the man is. So girls even if u do date a rich man just make sure u are also working should things not work out u know u have ur own moolah

DexterSUPERIOR on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 7:43 am

Aibo! Who are you and why are you disguised as Ntsiki Mazwai? Stop playing around. Very nice personal-issues-less article. I love it!

Every day the term ‘gold digger’ is fading because its becoming very normal for women to look specifically for sponsors. Soon it will cease to exist. I believe it goes back to how these girls are brought up. @Alexis, you say you grew up well off. I don’t believe you. People who grew up in well off families tend not to care about all those things because they are already exposed to them. When they go out to find a man, they go out looking for love and a sense of ‘normality’ that they can’t find at home which always leads them to ordinary Joes. There’s nothing sexier than a woman who owns a wallet. I have a feeling that by the time I get married kuzobe sekusele lezinto eziqabuka imali. I hope all you ladies are gonna empower your daughters. They need to learn how to take care of themselves. This is really getting out of hand.

noma4 on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 8:19 am

I am not saying its ryt but some people do not do it coz bayafuna, I mean I don’ do that but for some people its the only way for them to survive, I had a friend who was an orphan and her relatives did nothing for her, she HAD to date these men for her survival today she is at university because of sum rich guy and the truth is there is no guarantee that a man who does not give u money will not cheat and men that do not give u money also want sex, so let’s not judge anyone coz we do not know their circumstances #just saying

Miss Thang on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 8:34 am

I know a very Gor-jus girl 21 year old whos dating a phat daddy who is 27 yrz older than. she said he hurts her when they have sex mara she still with him. we all dont know the reasons why some ladies do this, so i will not judge only the man upstairs can judge. every1 has a choice in life

Mapakisha on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 8:45 am

@ Comment – BIG UPS to the women who knw where the nearest SARS office is, or knows if the petrol price is up or down!

I don’t actually know where the nearest SARS is or how much petrol actually costs but i ain’t no gold digger. I work as a temp & don’t have a car, I pay my own way when I am out & will accept a free drink when it comes along.

I agree with the person oreng, some girls do this for survival reason, I have sometimes found myself considering dating someone cos they sre rich but have luckily have never really had to.

Let’s not judge cos no sin is greater than another, Happy Monday.

Mapakisha on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 8:54 am

@ Alexis line “I too want to be loved and just because I choose not to put myself in the arms of a broke “man”, (who by the way cheats just as much as a rich man) does make me full of bad intentions.”

So true, I’ll drink to that….

MsFabb on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 8:58 am

Prostitutes sleep wif different man errday and other women sleep wif one man who happens to be her provider or ‘sponsor’ and he’s older. I don’t see anything wrong having a shuga daddy IF HE IS NOT MARRIED!

Vesa on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 8:58 am

@Alexis, you say you grew up well off. I don’t believe you. People who grew up in well off families tend not to care about all those things because they are already exposed to them. When they go out to find a man, they go out looking for love and a sense of ‘normality’ that they can’t find at home which always leads them to ordinary Joes.

@Dexter….I could’nt have said it better!!! I have two very well off cousins, trust funds and all, they are soo ordinary you would never believe they have soo much money. And they just date oordinary guys like you say….

DexterSUPERIOR on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 8:58 am

@Mapakisha, I doubt that the SARS comment was meant to be taken in a literal sense. I think we all know what he meant.

Now what I dont understand is why people are saying ‘don’t judge me’. I’ve experienced that it’s people who feel guilty about these deeds that usually pull that card.

Kusihlwa on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 9:00 am

Mhhhhh, I kknow a chick who is 22 years old, she has a sugar daddy that pays for her rent and living expenses. He allows her to have a boyfriends as long as they condomise and she doesnt sleep with the boyfriend on the week that he will be in town. He also doesnt like using a condom.My question to hwer which she never answers is, if this guy is doing this with her how many other girl in different places is he doing the same with? cues *Ive got ho’s,in different area codes*.@Alexis obviously looks dont last forever, are you not worried that the sponor will one day get tired of you and go hunting for new and younger flesh to enjoy and where will that leave you or do you have a day job that can sustain you when that happens? *asking in a non judgemental way*

Mapakisha on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 9:02 am

U don’t say*sarcasticgrin*

Ms.Zie on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 9:04 am

My last ex was very wealthy- he’s much older- age gap of over 10 years. I must say his age and wealth really intimidated me & in many ways I feel/felt that I wasn’t on his level- of life experience/wealth/travels etc. I think dating a very wealthy man at a young age is very risky if you don’t have both feet firm on the ground, u can get carried away. I was having a discussion with a friend and we were talking & I told her there are things I will not accept from him- I’m not going on any intl holidays, no shopping sprees etc- I’m very independant and hardworking. I don’t mind waiting for all these material things. For me, I think it was worse b/c he has a son- I don’t him to be wining & dining me, spending ridiculous amts of money on me b/c he could be doing things for his son. I really think its abt how u’re raised, ur level of conscience and ur integrity- I don’t think dating a rich guy is a crime but dating a guy purely b/c of his pocket is nothing but glorified golddigging & I condemn that.

#TeamHardWork #TeamIndependentWoman

Lela on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 9:10 am

Amen!

Ms.Zie on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 9:10 am

Another thing, I don’t feel I have to cling to a man’s material possessions because I have a good head on my shoulders, I’m at a very good varsity & I already have a job at a reputable company- all through my own sweat and tears. In 3-5 years I’ll be able to afford all these nice things and more and it will be so fulfilling because I will have earned them. I’m very ambitious and I just can NOT even entertyain the idea of dating a man for his pocket.

I’m at varsity and I’ve noticed that the girls who do this whoile golddigging thing are the ones who aren’t the brightest school-wise, everything takes a year or three longer & maybe for them its the only way they’ll ever experience these nice things- because their own abilities & intelligence aren’t enough. Its so amusing because they have so much pride & think they’re so much better than others meanwhile bachoma ngama-asset that aren’t theirs. Sheer irony.

kimmo on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 9:11 am

wolalalalala!well i have dated rich man and still do even now, i just seem to attract them , and yes i was well brought up , so my opinion is just a personal choice really, doesnt necessarly mean that you were suffering when growing up and the new money and wealth exccites you as long as you comfortable with your partner and he respects you dont think there is anything wrong there.

Ms.Zie on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 9:12 am

I WHOLE-HEARTEDLY AGREE!!! DITTO x100

popeye on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 9:14 am

Mina I always fail to understand ukuthi why is that, when a girl catches this gravy train banga save for the future just in case ubaba sugela moves on???

miss_a on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 9:15 am

I’ve also been with someone older than me (14 years) who had money. It was his looks that attracted me to him, I didn’t know about the money till afterwards. He used to spend on me and do stuff for me, but nothing tooooo extravagant. After I slept with him, the sex was so good I started getting REALLY into him. I knew he was a playboy, messing around with other chicks (he’s in the entertainment industry) and I didn’t mind in the beginning (cos I was enjoying the material aspects of his life) but I started minding once I started liking him (or maybe his sex) way more than I should have. I stopped seeing him (and met the love of my life the day after I stopped seeing him) and I don’t regret it.
The whole experience made me realize that no matter how monied someone is, I still want the attention, love, loyalty, trust and emotional security that comes with a normal relationship. And if you can’t give that to me, no amount of money can make up for it.

So @Alexis, as much as you say that you’d rather be with a rich man cos broke men cheat as much – it’s not about the pocket of a man, but his character. Are you telling me that if you fond a broke man who gave you all of the things I mention above you wouldn’t be with him just cos there’s a richer man who gives you none of the above but spends a lot of money on you?

ndundu on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 9:24 am

People say they attract rich men. Where? People hang out in spots where they know rich men hang out and they claim they attract them,I think the other way round.

DexterSUPERIOR on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 9:24 am

@popeye, the simple answer to your question is they’re just not smart enough! The shopping sprees and expensive dinners send them on a tailspin and for some reason they believe they’re gonna live the high life forever.

mamamia on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 9:27 am

Morning JC,

hmmm women who date rich men for their money are no better than hookers only in a different context, well if the shoe fits then the shoe fits.

I think the idea is to stretch your imagination further and actually get married for money but how many young girls even get that far. Being chowed for money is a terrible thing no matter who’s on top and nothing to celebrate, rather lie to yourself and others and think you doing it because you like his personality, character, the way he treats you, there’s a myriad of reasons to use as an excuse.

There’s nothing more satsifying than a girl or woman who knows and owns her net worth whether it be millions or just that measly pay check at the end of the month, sesilang you don’t have to apologise or defend yourself to anybody.

A blogger mentioned wealthy men date skinny women, that is sooo misinformed, rich men dated dumb girls who think they are smart. At the end of the day he’s the one who thought up a plan of making that money so that qualifies him to be smarter than you.

Mmaditaba on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 9:28 am

Morning all..The people discrediting this article are just against Ntsiki and akusahlekisi lokho,lets give credit where its due. Well written article ccNtsiki!

Wow its so coincedental how just yesterday my two guy friends and i were just debating about this very issue! Although i defended golddiggers i knew the gents have valid points,which are the exact ones ccNtsiki has mentioned in her article.

I agree with Dexter when he encourages that mothers should teach their daughters about self worth,its importance and independence, although unfortunately there are mothers who actualy encourage their daughters to hunt for a sponsor,thus making it hard for this ‘sponsorship’ ordeal to ever come to an end!

I personally have been taught very firmly about being independant by my mother who believes in making it for yourself rather then opening legs wide for a man to treat you like a possesion just because he is responsible for who you are. And because of that upbringing i just cannot imagine myself riding off a rich ugly ass oke,although i reserve any judgement towards those who prefer to be dined ngoma as people we all have different preferences!

In my books i got to hustle hard for whatever i get and just that makes me proud of my achievements. But my books wont be Alexis books,hence i understand why she chooses what she does.

kimmo on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 9:31 am

@ alexis do you work or study??

DrDee on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 9:37 am

Just asking?All those talking to Alexis,who said rich older guys with lots of money are not loving and caring and respectful.If he is a legit educated businessman obviously he too has a reputation to uphold so he is going to stick to as few golddiggers as possible if they know how to play their cards right.

Nomaha on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 9:39 am

I wouldnt mind dating a rich/wealthy man. If I break up with my man I’m definitely going on the hunt. Hayi nam I need to experience the good life abanye abantwana bayifumanayo. I work so hard and I wouldnt really mind not having to worry about rent, transport money and the ever so expensive groceries not to mention getting to wear designer clothes. However changes of that happening are so slim with boyfriend talking marriage so I’ll JBS and realize I’ll be regular plain Jane the rest of my life.

Ms.Zie on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 9:42 am

personally have been taught very firmly about being independant by my mother who believes in making it for yourself rather then opening legs wide for a man to treat you like a possesion just because he is responsible for who you are. And because of that upbringing i just cannot imagine myself riding off a rich ugly ass oke,although i reserve any judgement towards those who prefer to be dined ngoma as people we all have different preferences!

DITTO!!!!

DrDee on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 9:47 am

@mamamia.That’s an old theory dear maybe perpetuated by the khanyis and Primroses of Mzansi.The new gold digger is smart,intelligent and educated and meets her sponser in the boardroom.The sponsers who are doggy and shady businessmen might go for dumb girls but those well educated guys with money also prefer a working gal with some amount of intellect.

mamamia on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 9:51 am

@DrDee sure but if she’s smart, intelligent and educated how can she be a gold digger? Isn’t she too busy hustling for her own wealth?

Ms.Zie on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 9:51 am

If u really want a sugar daddy- there are tons of thirsty Nigerians all over town. They are the definition of thirst- u could be in a brown sack & they will be hollering. Abanascefe kanje!!! Personally, would never date an African immigrant- even less so those rich ones that hang around Hush & the likes. #NotXenophobic

ScarletChild on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 9:52 am

Mina I say give me a rich man dammit!! For strategic reasons, the older the better. I’ve experienced all kinds of loving from the regular Joes, enough is enough.

Let the hunt begin….. *evil grin*

TeamAnnaNicoleSmith
TeamRichOldMen

mamamia on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 10:01 am

If money was such a good thing, all the rich people could afford happiness.
Look at a certain young starlet that shall not be named, all those millions still unhappy with the world. mxm sad

DrDee on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 10:02 am

@mamamia!I will use my own example to make it clear.I am 28 years old.Hold a Doctrate in Business Development and am currently an expatriate in West Africa.All my educational acheivements were made possible thanks to my beloved sponser.So am I not hustling for my own wealth?Like I said earlier,if the gold digger knows how to play her cards she will never leave empty handed.

B.MAG on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 10:05 am

It ok to lie to yourself and pretend as if you getting all the attention u want from ur sponsor my biggest concern abaut you ladies isyour Rich man will strip off all your confidence. We,normal guys wont be there to pick up those tiny pieces of urz

DexterSUPERIOR on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 10:11 am

@DrDee, is that how you’re gonna raise your little girls, teaching them the tricks of securing a sponsor?

DrDee on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 10:13 am

@B-Mag.In my personal experience,it is always women who could never be gold diggers,e.g too old,too fat,too ugly and broke guys who are always up in arms against gold diggers.If fortune smiled at you today @B-Mag would you also not have a few gold diggers to your name.Don’t hate something because its out of ur league peeps.

DrDee on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 10:18 am

@Dex!I don’t have little girls.And my mother did not teach me any tricks.@Dex for someone like me it was sink or swim in first year Varsity and I chose to swim and am still swimming with a Doctrate to my name.So if tommorrow I woke up without a sponser am I going to sink?I don’t think so?

mamamia on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 10:22 am

@DrDee intersting, so this sponser secured your doctrate how many years was that exactly (studying) and are you still together? 28 so you started quite young, was it circumstance (homelife) that made you pursue this route?
In short if you this smart, couldn’t you have done it on your own?

Ms.Zie on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 10:22 am

Lies Dr Dee. I’m 22, young enough. Shaped like an hourglass. I’m pretty. I’m smart- book smart & street smart. Only difference is I have integrity and you don’t…?! Don’t make such sweeping statements b/c u are trying to validate something that is point blank immoral. Its a choice. Lots of attractive ladies go the hard-working route. kame nje ngama-generalisation afile. Sies!!!

mamamia on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 10:26 am

Would you mind @DrDee if your fellow peers, friends and family knew about this ambition, though it sounds done and dusted would it make a difference to you at all if the corporate hallways were whispering about it.

Just trying to understand your mindset.

mamamia on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 10:29 am

i mean you’ve been quite candid about it so i’m interested to know if this lifestyle really works without repercussions not trying to be a smart alek or anything…just curious!

Nandi on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 10:39 am

What ive noticed in countries like America and England there is a huge distinction when it comes to wealth and socialising there are very clear cut lines when it comes to the social scene the wealthy socialise with the wealthy the rich the rich the middle class the middle class and the poor the poor and it hardly ever happens that there will be a crossing of the “borders” therefore the wealthy marry other wealthy people and its not neccessarily that they go out and actively seek someone who is wealthy its just a natural progression since the circles they move in consist of other wealthy people only and these wealthy circles are impossible to penetrate cause most of them are made up of old money and you will also notice that even the people with newly aquired wealth still dont make it into these circles because even though they may be wealthy their wealth is not old enough. What i appreciate about South Africa is that because very few black South Africans have old money because of the history in our country we dont have any lines our social scenes are mixed a lady can step out of her mkhukhu and into the michael angelo and bag her self a wealthy man or your best friend from childhood who came from very humble begginings can attend a party with you and you introduce him to a few people they get talking they strike a deal the next day he is a multi millionaire. I personaly do not see anything wrong with women who actively seek out to date rich powerful men as JG put it we are socialised that way since the beggining of time in the stone age women will seek the most powerful man to have children with because not only is it in their (men) DNA to procreate as much as they can its also in our DNA as womem to seek out a mate who will give us strong healthy children to ensure the survival of the human race (in current times powerful and strong translates to wealthy)but i especialy like the part ‘That’s why femininity is seen as a state of weakness and not that of power’ one of the greatest achievements that women have ever done is to convince men that they are the more powerful sex through out history most wars that were fought were because of a woman yet the men to this day still believe they are more powerful which in a way is a good thing cause then they will leave us in peace while we quietly run the world right under their noses in a puppet show you never see the puppet master only the puppets.

Vesa on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 10:42 am

Rich men know they are powerful, just because of the money they have. They know that they can have “any” woman because of their material posessions. There can never be a normal relationship balance between a broke 22 year old woman and and a rich 55 year old man…..NEVER. The relationship is always in his terms.

The girls just console themeselves with these material possesions they get!

DrDee on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 10:54 am

@MsZie.If you have been following all my comments.I did mention clearly that it is my OWN personal choice to be in a relationship with my sponsor.And its ur personal choice not to be a gold digger.At no point did I say all hour glass shaped gals are or should be gold diggers.And at no point did I say all 22 year olds should be gold diggers.So unless you are a virgin you too are immoral becoz both sleeping with a poor guy and sleeping with a rich guy before marriage hold equal values in terms of immorality.

snapshot on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 10:57 am

hard core, i don’t even know where to start.

Dating older guys is not wrong, angithi bathi age is just a number, i think the problem is when you date them for what they have.

Since high school i had rich friends, does it mean i attract rich people, Lol,

Ms.Zie on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 11:00 am

@MsDee read this statement that u posted earlier. It appears u are contradicting yourself-
‘it is always women who could never be gold diggers,e.g too old,too fat,too ugly and broke guys who are always up in arms against gold diggers’

Your words not mine. (((BOOM))) I was pointing out to you that I am naither of those yet I am vehemently against golddigging! Do u have a problem with your short term memory?!

B.MAG on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 11:00 am

@Drdee I have morals&values wont go that low just to fulfil my desire for materialistic things will hustle in an acceptable way untill i find my breakthrough there so many ways which enable us access tertiary funds rather than giving rich folks an opportunity to make us look less important.

DrDee on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 11:03 am

@mamamia.Ur answers.I have been studying for close to 10 years.Yes am still with my sponsor for almost 8 years.No did not break up his family.They are still together.Yes my family knows of my situation.In the coporate world we choose to disclose what we want,but if it ever came out that I have a sponsor does it make me less intelligent or less equiped to do my job.Yes people whisper everywhere so what.Does that change the D in my name.And lastly there are repercussions in every situation under the sun.Even in dating a single broke or acommplished guy or gal.Ithankyoufortakingnote.

summer on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 11:05 am

I’ve got 4 very wealthhy brothers who work extremely hard 4 their wealth & the things they say abt ladies r jus sad really. They may put them thru Varsity & buy them cars, which 2 them is nothing, jus “money spent nje” bt the way they treat them is infuriating. Thanx 2 them (my brothers) I’ve made it my life’s mission 2 avoid ‘these men’ & use the opportunities my parents rightfully gave 2 me. #igudgenoonethough#

TheSushiQueen on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 11:09 am

I have a finance degree, currently pursuing my honours degree, have a good job, my own car, pay my own way in EVERYTHING.. I grew up well catered for and never wanted for anything.. Hence I have never really cared for rich men cause I got what I wanted/needed growing up and I can get the things I want myself as an adult. If I can’t afford it then I must JUST relax myself and save or forget about it. However, being an independent woman is NOT easy!! Sometimes, we wonder how come some other girls get what they want so easily without ever really working for it. And not all of them lay down their bodies to get what they want. Sometimes it just seems unfair. I work my ASS OFF to pay all my own bills, while someone out there is getting their townhouse and car paid for by some rich man..

I’m not moaning. This is my life and I’m damn proud of myself for being able to take very good care of myself.

My father passed away when I started varsity and I never felt the need to go after some man to pay my way. As broke as I was, I had too much pride and my upbringing made it uncomfortable for me to do such. P.S I do however want a man who can measure up to/exceed my father money wise and provider wise and that does mean he has to be well off. #justsaying

summer on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 11:10 am

Judge, eishh, engrish!

dejane on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 11:11 am

At the end of the day its all about choices. Some of us chose to have jobs to ensure our own financial security, while others would rather get sponsors.

Most women i know have sponsors only because they want to be seen in the latest designer gears, because they want a shoe collection of Louboutins. This one chick in particular would cramp at a friends place for weeks without even contribiuting to rent or groceries mara she looks top shayela. She wasn’t always like this though until she moved to joburg. She hangs arounds people who work for their money but because she qiut school and is lazy to get a job she has resorted to getting and living off sponsors. Some i feel are doing this because they feel pressured to looking and living lavish lives. Pressure we sometimes put on ourselves.

Im against dating rich men puerly for their money. If people can work their butts off to acquire their own wealth that they desire then there’s no excuse for opting for the easy way out.

I hope ive made sense.

DrDee on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 11:13 am

@MsZie,debating with you is pointless becoz you see only what you want to see.I posted many comments up there and that one statement you chose is not everything I said.So sana be very morally upright and stay away from gold digging.Not that I was trying to recruit you.And leave us gold diggers as we were.But remember there is only one hell and we are all sinners.

Lustagp on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 11:17 am

A round of applause to you Ntsiki and those like you, my problem is you thinking you have a right to name tag what you deem immoral in your books!!!
If you prefer to ‘work hard’ good for you, but calling people who dont think like you prostitutes is damn STUPID! We all here to pay our own dues, be it gold digging, gold sucking, etc. Learn to shut up and give other women who dont have same principles like yours the respect you want from this world. i hate ppl who act Godly when we dont know thier weaknesses or sins, you sure have those as we all do, so quit while you at it and let people live their lives the way they see fit!!
I love gold diggers, and if i was rich i will date them only as they know what they want in life.

Thanks..( still your groupie vha)

Ms.Zie on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 11:19 am

I’m by no means perfect and thats not what I was saying I was simply nullifying ur generalisation. Don’t get worked up- we all choose our paths and even though we may not agree- if it fulfills u then good. Lets have a healthy debate w/o becoming emotional. Just have some consistency to ur argument, neh?!

DrDee on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 11:23 am

@summer.So does this make ur brothers better than the gold diggers.To ur brothers it just cars and money and just maybe to the goldiggers its just rich guys who pay lots of money for sex.So in my opinion ur brothers and their gold diggers are the same,equally guilty of immorality.Instead of learning from ur brothers that gold diggers are worthless objects why don’t you teach ur brothers to be faithful to one woman and love and respect her?Not judging?

Mapakisha on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 11:23 am

Oh DrDee, if I were you i’d stop now cos there’s a lot of “i’m not judging but …” comments. Then you’ll be reminded of being a gold digging comments for the rest of your blogging life, there’s lotsa saints up in here.

DrDee on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 11:32 am

@lusta and @mapakisha.I agree with you both.Its my personal choice,used to my advantage to get not designer clothes and shoes but a life time guarantee of financial security.If I had not chose this life maybe I would have dropped out in my first year.And maybe I would now be a former Oxford St worker.Would that have made me a better person?Just asking.And @MsZie.No emotions here at all!And if you know that you are not perfect then please don’t judge other imperfect children just becoz our imperfections lie in different paths does not make any sin lesser or greater.A liar and a muderer are both bad before God.

kimmo on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 11:35 am

i agree with you mapakisha, lots of “saints”
and at the end of the day wena @ drdee, you chose your life so stop exhausting yourself by trying to justify it.you have education and even if that sponser of yours had to leave ,you have something to fall back on, unlike those who date this guys for shoes and clothes!

BlindFold on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 11:37 am

If a person decides to be a gold digger, then so be it. Who are we to say that dating a rich guy is wrong and that women should work for themselves and be independent.

It is the duty of a man to take care of a woman whether rich or poor.

Ms.Zie on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 11:39 am

How are we judging Dr Dee, we just don’t agree with her sentiments. So should u disagree with someone- that means u’re a saint and you’re judging?! Yho shame- at least some of us have courage of our convictions,. There’s nothing glorified abt not having an opinion. Hhayi suka!!!Tsek, people acting like they’ve never judged a soul in their lives. Niyacasula.

I actually commend Dr Dee for using her lifestyle to further her schooling- very smart.

DrDee on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 11:43 am

@kimmo thanx dear and continue bettering urself gal don’t stop just becoz there is a sponsor in the house.If you show him that you are focused and ambitious he will even help you acheive ur goals.Shoes and bags pass and get worn out but a Phd leaves on.So good day to all our saints.

KevCare on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 11:46 am

LOL I agree with @ndundu!! hahaha…These women ba te pona yong!!

Mediocrity on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 11:46 am

Greetings!!

“Now i aint saying she a gold digger, but she aint messing with no broke niggers” Kanye West laid it down!! Does this article confirm that women need men to get somewhere in life?? OR Could it mean that women are smart enough to use men to get to their destination??

Varsity taught me that its actually a vicious cycle LOL. I have a friend with two degrees {B. Sc Architecture and B. A Psychology} pretty intelligent girl who insists on being a professional housewife, married to a rich man LOL.

Bottom line is that we all have different goals. As an aspiring C.A i dont need a “captain-saving-me” yet i’m not prepared to settle for someone who could potentially earn half my salary, or even a quarter of it. Successful independent women are harder to holler at cause rich men know they can up and leave at the bat of an eye- they dont need them. Gold diggers, on the other hand, are stranded for these men, so fellas if you aint no punk: Holler Pre-Nup!! Lol

mamamia on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 11:48 am

Thanks for the elaboration @DrDee whatever rocks your boat right. Good point you mentioned to @summer.

Minna i’m not going to sweat the topic, all i know is that money or wealth will never buy you happiness or contentment, it won’t protect you from an invetiable death, it won’t secure your youth forever, it will not earn you real respect and it does not last for ever.

Money will BUY you things that rot, break, get stolen, mould and wear down with time OH not to mention a lof of fake relationships.

To each their own.

mamamia on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 11:50 am

Warning it’s best not to bring God into this topic because we don’t know what he thinks about gold digging tendencies.

Just saying.

Ms.Zie on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 11:54 am

–>> Warning it’s best not to bring God into this topic because we don’t know what he thinks about gold digging tendencies.

Just saying.
DITTO! ITS BEST NOT TO BRING GOD INTO ANY ARGUMENT. LIKE DEE SAID WE’RE ALL SINNERS.

Lustagp on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 11:57 am

Neither is moneyless life mamamia–it doesn’t gaurantee you a life of hapiness at all etc.

if i may ask, whose respect do you really need to breath hre on earth kanene? society? friends?

Lela on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 11:57 am

Hayi DrDee!you dug gold until you lost ur mind? Im a 28 year old beautiful chocolate-skinned woman who wears size 36 and I believe I can get a rich man when I want but that has never been my ambition, so don’t get it twisted people we are very young and attractive but we chose a different path so don’t lie to yourself.I would never date any man for his money much as I’m against dating men who are not financially stable(which is what I’m currently doing.

B.MAG on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 12:01 pm

Lolz yall calling us saints now, mina m just concerned kphela thats all, i saw people being victimise these tendencies.

DrDee on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 12:03 pm

Kwa kwa kwa@mamamia.So funny that statement killed me.But to agree to disagree.Even being poor is no sheild from unhappiness,fake friendships and no respect.We all experience these issues rich,poor,imoral or very moral.And we all die so yeh there is no security in life.And yes expensive bags and cheap bags all rot.

Lela on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 12:06 pm

Talkin of rich men,to think Colin just got engaged to Lerato but he was partying up a storm with my friends at the July tryina get laid with his arrogance and all. To think that this is probably what he does everytime.

vundlas on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 12:08 pm

the reality is that there are some men if Gold Diggers did not exist there will not be getting any punana. just like prostitution exist bcoz of the demand 4 it same goes 4 golddiggers. having said that there is nothing wrong with been RICH as long it does not become an extension of your charachter-and RICH people fall or fall out just like ay other person how they treat woman is not his wallet but more abt their charachter-

For me as a Man I C nothing wrong with the golddiggers,there is a willing giver and willing recepient no one is forced to do aything. People mostly womenn NOT ALLLLLLLLLLL dont crucify who label other women Golddiggers is the women who have never been approached by the so called RICH man, so for me sometimes this amount to selective morality.

Lela on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 12:09 pm

Warning it’s best not to bring God into this topic because we don’t know what he thinks about gold digging tendencies.

Kanti what does he think. All I know God says men should provide,that means there is nothing wrong with a woman wanting a man to provide for her but God judges the intentions of the heart,if it is done out of selfishness and greed then one will answer.

posh on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 12:12 pm

I don’t see anything wrong with having wealthy men as your preference. To me its like saying I want to date an educated guy or a doctor or a handsome guy… or a man saying I want a beautiful wife

Who should then date rich men if we are supposed to stay away from them with fear of being labelled gold diggers, should their wealth be a curse to them?

I dont agree with solely relying on a rich man to take care of you, I think a woman must still work hard to achieve her goals and even if she becomes a house wife to a rich guy, she always has a backup plan should anything happen to hubby (could be death not only being dumped) a woman will be able sustain the family which is applicable to all kinds of relationships

You get diseases from broke niggas too,get cheated on or played by them…I am done with feeling guilty for wanting the best things in life…

mamamia on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 12:16 pm

@lusta it’s called SELF respect dear, respect from your partner or spouse, respect from your kids, respect from your family dog

mamamia on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 12:21 pm

DrDee you are mistaken by equating the life of the rich to the life of the poor very mistaken.
that’s why morally speaking that is, rich people don’t die and go to heaven.

I get a feeling that you get a sense of ease, i,e easing one’s conscience by generically stating ‘we all sinners’

ndundu on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 12:22 pm

My last words: Okomhlaba kuyosala la.

sexymm on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 12:22 pm

Hey Lungsta

posh on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 12:27 pm

“Talkin of rich men,to think Colin just got engaged to Lerato but he was partying up a storm with my friends at the July tryina get laid with his arrogance and all. To think that this is probably what he does everytime”

This is not unique to rich men….men of all status, race,LSMs do this….bayafana abafana..rich or poor…

So if I get attracted to a guy who happen to be rich, I must not act on it with fear of being labelled a gold digger?

Rethabile on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 12:29 pm

Ntsiki always writes so truthfully….

Mmaditaba on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 12:29 pm

Lela i agree with your last comment about God looking at the intention of the heart.

End of the day—-each one is unique,what suits you wont suit me,what makes you happy wont make me happy ,what is morally correct to you,may not be to me..those are the realities of us being unique individuals!

What i find to be a low blow though is some people labelling those who disagree with them “saints”. Really just stick to who you feel comfortable with being without resorting to brand those who have different preferences to you!

I don’t care if you’re a doctor or queen because of a rich mans pocket,thatz your business,Just don’t toss around that poor word “judge” just cause i refuse to use a man for his money!

DrDee on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 12:30 pm

Thank you very much to the brave men who are telling their honest opinions on this topic.@lela,sorry ooh sisi.From the begining I maintained that what I wanted was an education which myself and my family could no longer afford due to our own reasons.Nowhere did I mention that what my heart was after are material possesions.If they came they came.But what I wanted was clear from day one between sponsor and gold digger.If you have issues with ur size 36 and chocolate skin sisi see a therapist not me.Where did I say size 36 and chocolate skin are bad?

Savanah Dry on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 12:32 pm

I am so tired of paying my own bills , rent groceries , car cellphone then looking after my parents i get head aches every month end… I need to start gold digging so i can have peace of mind …
Is there any rich old man here as a blogger please i beg to apply….. lol!!

posh on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 12:32 pm

Ditto Vundlas! I fully agree…there is a market for so called gold diggers…let them be…

DrDee on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 12:40 pm

@posh thanx.@ the guy who said its usually gals who have never been approached by a rich guy who shout the loudest thanx too.So @lela.We are the same you and me.You also want a rich guy for ur good intentions.so did I only difference is I found mine and you are still looking so alone me leave please its my life.You live urs or get one!

Mmaditaba on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 12:44 pm

Lol Savannah Dry hau go read the article “2011 Rich Men every gal wants to date” im sure it’ll help lots

Mediocrity on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 12:47 pm

Oh by the way @Alexis there’s a vast difference between wealthy and rich. I believe you meant that you attract rich men cause in South Africa there are a few wealthy men. Wealthy : Patrise Motsepe. Rich: B.E.E fellas. LOL #asyouwere

Mapakisha on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 12:49 pm

#smh!! I will call one a saint if u decide to play God & start judging other people cos of their choices. U are acting like one & that’s that. Like I said, according to my knowledge, no sin is greater than another. It’s not a personal attack on anyone but I just find it annoying when motho wa lefatshe thinks that they are better than another in any aspect. U r not perfect, no one is so if one decides to dig for gold then who are you to speak of morality & such when there’s so many immoral things u as a human being (flesh&blood) have done. All I’m saying is let’s leave the judging to the Higher Power.

lorrelai on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 12:54 pm

Ok i’m still reading the comments but I feel I must say this bit now! Let’s not misuse the word “gold digger” now. A hard working woman with a good salary can’t be expected to jola or marry uskhotheni. I’m all for an independant woman who will consider a man’s bank account, (someone up there said “meeting your sponsor in the boardroom”). Vele this is someone you should be dating, otherwise u will be dealing with self-esteem issues and inferiority complex your whole life.

faith on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 12:56 pm

Great article Ntsiki, I am currently working for an IT company have my IT diploma and next year finishing my degree now the thing is I’ve dated rich guys before while in University and it was a choice I made based on the people they were, things didn’t work out because I was young and wanted to taste everything and everyone but if they were to come back and say bafuna sibuyelane I would not because of their money but because of the good caring people they are besides their money. Next year I’m going back to school full time to complete my degree and I wouldn’t mind a sponsor for my social life and the emotional side of things, if thats being a gold digger then be it but nonetheless I would never compromise myself to make someone else feel superior or in control I never did for my father and I definately never will for a guy.

Mmaditaba on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 12:58 pm

Mapakisha you clearly have your own special definiti0n of what judging is. Mina i dont care if you’l label me judging for not liking the gold digging process,end of the day i wont resort to it not giving a damn if to you its okay to be with a man for his m0ney, anginandaba ,making urcelf feel better by labeling my different view as ‘saintess’ is stil to me a low blow.

kimmo on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 12:59 pm

@ ndundu, yes you are right, weather you worked for it or digged for it, its the same youll die and leave it on earth.

DrDee on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:00 pm

@mapakisha well said.I wonder if this site would still be entertaining if we had 100 comments of everyone agreeing with everyone else.E.g yes we all agree gold diggers are bad.Yes they are bad.I agree with yoo they are bad.RME.People are entitled to their choices.Good or bad so if you want to change the world don’t start at JC go to the maximum security prisons.I believe you will find more willing ears there.

Mapakisha on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:04 pm

@ Maditaba, don’t talk to me, go ask somebody else for attention, k! I ain’t labelling you & have already said “i don’t mean anyone specific”. If awunandaba y do u feel the need to explain it? Wena of all people needs to sit your ass down, ke mantaha & I didn’t address you. O ska mbhora, pls!

mamamia on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:10 pm

huuuuuu now the women are fighting because of gold digging while the actual gold diggers get away with their gold hahahahaha lang lagisa shem.

mamamia on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:11 pm

We need tata emeretius Desmond Tutu up in this house to rid us of all evil.

Mmaditaba on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:13 pm

Mapakisha you’re the one who needs to sit down cause between me and you ,you’re the one whose getting all sweaty ,go bhora go kena kae? Wabona gore kwena otlamele o dule fatsi. This is a debate,and im answering you according to your comment,really sit down you’re getting too worked up!

Really i have to get a coffin for Dr.Dees last comment. No1 is aiming at making a change Dr ,we are addressing our opinions ,so no need to initiate us on how we should try change the world hey. Really honestly no need @ all…i sense peoples high bloods reaching maximum over a mere topic. #DoRelax

mamamia on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:14 pm

Have you noticed how gold diggers stick together tltltltlt

lorrelai on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:15 pm

For me, it really is a matter of ‘whatever tickles your fancy’. While in technikon until meeting my would be husband, I was seeing a guy who had “made it”. He was not rich, but his means were way below his earnings, he could afford most things. He was a very cruel man. He would buy me all these nice things but took them back each time we fought. In some guest house, we had ordered dinner, we argued just before dinner, he canceled my order. I decided then that I never want to marry a rich person, but I will marry potential.

I did marry a loving, caring, good-dad, all things u dream of in a man potential, and we have struggled along the way (financially) but now my poitential has potentialised, so I’m cool.

Whatever makes u happy, do it, this is life there are not guarantees. Boy will meet girl, rich or poor, its your choice if u want rich, poor or like me, potential. I just hope the potential will potentialiaze eventually cos some don’t, unfortunately.

Ms.Zie on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:15 pm

Aowa guys, lets not bicker in such a childish fashion! **Waves white flag whilst sibnging kumbaya**

kellyboogile on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:17 pm

DrDEE u dug ur gold for a good course,people complain that rich men use these young girls,these girls allow these men to use them,DEE chose to get something out of her relationship wit her sponsor,what did she loose that we dont loose from broke asses?broke asses are not that different from rich men(well except that they broke)they all men,they use,they cheat and take advantage.its just a personal choice to date a broke ass or a rich man,so y question peoples choices?why do they need a reason to live their lives in a certain way when u dont get questioned for dating a broke ass.if u choose to achieve certain things the hard way then fine its ur choice but if she wants an easier way to achieve certain things its her choice.afterall it was her brains that got her those qualifications the sponsor just paid just like the bank loan would have,but in her case she doesn have to pay back the bank loan,and if the sponsor leaves she’l have her qualifications to fall back on.

mamamia on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:18 pm

you will never hear a gold digger telling another gold miner to #sitassdown ttltltltltltlttl

They give each other tips on how to stay on top………..of their game that is, so that they don’t resort to mining for gold in the other’s mine shaft should the gold run out. tltltltltlt

Mmaditaba on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:21 pm

@Lorrelai i agree with you.. Its a matter of choice and what works for you as an individual

DrDee on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:23 pm

Tititi@mamamia we sure do look out for each other.Do you want a sister or in this case a Dr to hook you up.Its not too late you know.

Ms.Zie on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:23 pm

All I want to know is- is it fulfilling, when the designer clothes are packed in the wardrobe, the car parked in the garage, the lace weave tied in a doekie etc and its just you and your conscience lying in bed- does it feel good deep down?! I don’t know hey. Honestly. That’s all I’m trying to understand…

Mapakisha on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:24 pm

@ dis ->>Mapakisha you’re the one who needs to sit down cause between me and you ,you’re the one whose getting all sweaty ,go bhora go kena kae? Wabona gore kwena otlamele o dule fatsi. This is a debate,and im answering you according to your comment,really sit down you’re getting too worked up!

Now that i’m sitting down comfortably let me type it slowly for you maybe letsatsi le tla chaba. MMaditaba do not talk to me, ain’t nothing between me & u so stop saying between Me & u. Ko this debate i didn’t ask u anything so don’t answer me, like o cho it’s a comment, yaka. Can I stand back up your mighty brightnes??

But seriously, try not talking to me Mmaditaba, u’ll have lotsa pleasant days, k!

Mmaditaba on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:26 pm

Aow kodwa mamamia LMFBAO *Diggs grave*

DrDee on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:27 pm

Very valid point the @Mmanditaba.Don’t tell me who to not sleep with and I will not tell you who to preach to!

Ms.Zie on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:31 pm

I actually like Dr Dee tho- used a mans cash to get her degree(s) and even if he disappears she is set for life, une-certificate sakhe!

Wild Island on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:31 pm

Tjo..labuwa hle….haike ke choice yamotho at the end of the day..basadi ba maining continue,bo plain jane lelona etsang jwalo….Gold-diggers cover up their intentions, while you usually know where a prositute stands.
note:
It is not illegal to be a gold digger. It is illegal to engage in a sexual transaction for cash. A gold digger does not provide purely sex. She provides companionship and entertainment and often bears the man’s children in exchange for a bigger share of the man’s income and estate. I’m not sure it is technically correct to call a gold-digger a prostitute any more than it is technically correct to call any wife a prostitute. Marriage is the only legal contract where sexual duties are required as part of the transaction. It may be a fine line at times but many prostitutes have serious problems such as drug addiction that prevent them from focusing on the long-term and getting the big pay-off. If the gold-digger is more patient and more focused, then no doubt she has earned the bigger financial reward. And she’s playing the game by the rules. If we want her to play a different game, we need to change the rules.
amen..

ndundu on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:32 pm

People like to condemn others calling their choices immoral nywenywe and then refuse to accept that they are “judging”,if you think something is not good for just say it,but if you start labeling it immoral or any bad name then be brave enough to admit that you are judging. The reason why people don’t want to admit that they are judging when they know well that they are,is because they know they are no saints themselves.

If you are anti rich men,say so without calling those who like the names

Alexis on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:33 pm

I grew up needing nothing, whatever I wanted I got. My parents are are pretty well off. Never claimed to be RICH! *side eyes Nonhle* (by the way, where r her answers), Its a personal preference. I’m a born spender, so I date men who can handle me and my demands. I do have a job, I even spoil him every once in a while, using MY money. So are you guys saying, women should just date broke men cause wealthy men are what? Out of reach? In my world, I see them as often as u see the broke one’s! So don’t hate

Ms.Zie on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:38 pm

I’m so f’ing confused!!!! So u can only voice disapproval of something if u are a saint?! If not, u are at no liberty to express a standpoint/view! Kwaze kwanzima, kusho ukuthi siyothula size sife phela ngoba we all have skeletons in our closets. (o_0) Oh my!!!!

DrDee on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:39 pm

Kwa kwa kwa faints @lorelai.Sorry but ur comment about the guy cancelling ur dinner order has me in tears.People here think I am losing it.I can’t stop laughing.He was mean mos.That enough to put a gal of rich men for life.Kwa.

Lustagp on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:40 pm

hey sexxymmm my dururu!!!

Mamamia..keep preaching vha, but keep note that what works for you wont work for others and tjo!! what would the world be like without gold diggers, it will be so boring some of us will die shame!!!

self respect my foot!!!

kellyboogile on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:40 pm

kwaaaaaaa alexis”in my world,i see them as often as u see broke one’s!so don’t hate” #dead

Lustagp on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:42 pm

lol@ all the ladies telling us about thier proffesions here!

I am Superman ke mnake…tlltltl

Alexis on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:42 pm

obviously some bloggers here haven’t been with a truly wealthy man, ur questions such as

What u gon do when he leaves and goes for somebody younger?
What this, what that!

You forget that its like any other relationship. Just because there’s a lot of cash involved doesn’t make him less of a human. He feels, he experiences and he is capable of loving. Try dating a man with cash, they’re NORMAL ppl! Gosh! Oh and I’m exposed to many many of them cause they obviously in the same circle. Golfing, bundu bashing together and us “gold-diggers” escape with our men to have a GRAND time. So fun

Mapakisha on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:45 pm

Death by word “saints”, nkare le lebala “hater”.. Nonhle won’t be pleased.. (((BOOM))). Lmao!

Ms.Zie on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:45 pm

Do u know what I like abt Alexis, is that she’s honest- doesn’t pretend to be virtueous abt her lifestyle. Nje, I admire that. I don’t like abo-pretend-to-be-’virtueous’ bazi kahle ukuthi its abt the pocket.

Lustagp on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:46 pm

‘I’m so f’ing confused!!!! So u can only voice disapproval of something if u are a saint?! If not, u are at no liberty to express a standpoint/view! Kwaze kwanzima, kusho ukuthi siyothula size sife phela ngoba we all have skeletons in our closets. (o_0) Oh my!!!!’

Ms Zie..you can voice anything but dont give names and preach morals as if we know your ‘sins’ dear.

Kusihlwa on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:48 pm

*chowing a bowl full of popcorn while watching Mmaditaba and Mapakisha slugging it out*

posh on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:49 pm

Ms Zie Are you saying it is not possible to fall in love with a rich guy? Women only get involved with them for their money? Rich guys are human, caring, loving and have their faults..just like any other men

And in any case people dont always marry for love even in the middle class community or amongst the poor….it is for varying reasons…

Wild Island on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:50 pm

lol@lorelai(sp),,nkare kabona
@alexis ok sisi no one is fighting with u here.u dont even have to prove your point abt your lifestyle and wat wat…its your choice sisi (abakulwisi bo)..good for u though..akomfe LV e1 hle chomakaaaaaaaa *pats her back*
@pakzin…remangeloyi today bo judge judy batletse kantlo…
@alexi..otsamaya kae lerona reilo feta koteng rekathetse kebo malambane lol

Mapakisha on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:53 pm

@Kusi, mapha?! waitsi di popcorn ke ntho tsa ka mos…

summer on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:55 pm

I dnt recall labelling anyone a ‘gold digger’ in my comment. I choose 2 learn rather teach in my experiences wt my brothers & their friends bcos 4 me learning takes less energy in ths particular instance. Js like u its my personal choice. I chose 2 use my parents gift 2 me & others chose/still choose men’s money & I’m not judging their choice. Its simply not 4 me. Thts all!

Mmaditaba on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:56 pm

Okay so we call ‘haters’ ‘saints’ now. Lol aike Ms.Zie safa ukuba ama ‘saints’.

Mina nje wena Alexis i give you a Doctrine hat for being solely h0nest ,unapologetic and non pers0nal about your way of life. You are my #Shero .thanks to you for answering imibuzo without needing a nubilizer.

Mathaz on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:56 pm

I am all for women dating men who earn more than them as it is a sin before God to marry a man who is not financially stable. Hope all the gold diggers here are not dating married men.

Ms.Zie on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:57 pm

@Posh… Read my very first comment. Let me copy and paste for you!!!

I don’t think dating a rich guy is a crime but dating a guy purely b/c of his pocket is nothing but glorified golddigging & I condemn that.

mamamia on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:57 pm

Yes @Lusta self respect your foot!!!

@DrDee men are irritating rich or broke, so i’ll save it for later when i have real use for them. in answer to this Q ->Do you want a sister or in this case a Dr to hook you up

posh on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 1:58 pm

In Zulu it is said “Indoda yinhle ngezinkomo zayo”…

Ms.Zie on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:00 pm

Ms Zie..you can voice anything but dont give names and preach morals as if we know your ‘sins’ dear.

Ok, now I’m more confused Lu. Not all of us subscribe to the same moral bundle- so what may be immoral to me is perfectly acceptable to another and its fine- its why we debate- b/c we don’t see eye to eye.

softnfree on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:00 pm

When she was born
They called her Gazelle
For her life would results in a gallavantation that would puzzle even life itself

She came attached to an object named ‘a female body’
She bore a resembles to the scorned Goddess who was denied ecstasy as her urges were always misunderstood.

Look at me, she would say to ‘her body’
Touch me,, she would urge ‘her victims’
Lick me,,,’she would demand out of those in close contact with her.
And with each episode she grew to depend on their touch..
Their presence
Their orgasmic maneuvers.

Like an anti lope , tiny yet gigantic with a life of her own
She rode em’
Tall and short
She rode em’
Big and fat
Gazelle kept on riding em into the sunset
Rich and poor
It didn’t matter to her
For she understood her urgencies
And left the rest to be debated through Moral injustice or errored principalities.

Please Meet Gazelle
Go home
And take a seat
Spread your thighs
And look down
At what is trapped in between the moist and heat
Touch it
Feel it
And say hello Gazelle

You my dear clitoris have a life of your own
Men wanna own you
As other women seem to believe have a picture of what you should be like, do and behave.
But you my dearest have a plan, a need to fulfill and desire to relinquish.
Go ahead and live your life
According to how it suits you as you quench your thirst with each ride

Be with a priest …amen
A nigga… Yummy
A Whigga…Dang
A wealth man…My my my
A broke ass … Halla
Or whoever tickles your fancy

Go out there and get em’
Ride em’
And do you right plus justice

However way you do it
Just try and be true to yourself
And if you fail
Fuck em’

At the end of the day it is in and out!!

DrDee on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:01 pm

@Ms Zie are you sure deep down you don’t want to join us.I sense envy on ur part.I like Dee,I like Alexis do you not also like a rich man?Just checking,don’t kill me if you don’t want one?

Mmaditaba on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:01 pm

@Kusi uthanda kabi Lol, unfortunately this time there wont be any fighting, i’ve pers0naly arranged for Dexter to collect a nubilizer for abadinga ukukhokha um0ya.

softnfree on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:02 pm

Dumelang kaofela!

I thoroughly enjoyed the article Ntsiki

TheeGorgeous1 on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:04 pm

@ SofnFree can i copy nd paste ur “poem” pretty pls?

posh on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:05 pm

noted @Ms Zie

kimmo on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:07 pm

dumela softy!
hai let me go have decent lunch while you who date broke niggers reach out for di “scaftini”

Kusihlwa on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:08 pm

2Pakzin,nix mapha.lol. @Mmaditaba you know me, I love the drama.@Aunty Softy. Wow,talk about poetry, the only gazzelle I know is the singing group.

softnfree on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:10 pm

Go ahead TheG-one
Just don’t forget to credit ‘the Soft one’

GOL @Kimmo

mamamia on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:10 pm

Sad thing is, some of us – our fathers could be financing a gold digger’s ambition who’s the same age as you while he forgets to pay your tuition or lets you go hungry.

It happens!

Mmaditaba on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:11 pm

Mara Softy wena. Mxm then you wonder why i call you Dr! Wena you dug it within and just kn0cked it out the park! Im still awaiting for that article to be posted by BS…

Lustagp on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:13 pm

Tshisa Softy…i love the last line!!

ms Zie if you put it like that i am a happy man, so do debate dear. the problem is poeple repeating same lines as if they are enforcing ppl with their own principles. can you feel the fireworks on top it is two different opinions trying to win over the other, no understanding each other just bulldozing each other for nothing.
in topic like these it is better to agree to disagree as we wil end up fighting for nothing.

Self respect is me obeying my fantasies and having fun as long as they are not harming my dogs, kids, family in anyhow mamamia.

Kusihlwa on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:13 pm

@Kimmo waphapha, its like you are seeing my last night Nandos filled scaftini on my desk. I still love you Softy…

Ms.Zie on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:15 pm

Nah @Dr Dee… I’m inquisitive. I don’t have the balls, but I would absolutely love to understand

Wild Island on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:19 pm

@kimmo..7 colours yamabane darling …tankie ne ele monate jwang*kekokona lesapo*,khus,soft leshap?

Pana on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:20 pm

Potent article.
Maar as a single mother hle, I wouldn’t mind a rich man to help me out financially. I’ve learnt that love and dignity don’t pay bills. Unfortunately I do not have a rich man maar if I did I would hold on to him tight.
Our baby daddies/boyfriends that “love” us screw us for free. so to me, fornication is fornication so why not get something from it?

Mmaditaba on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:24 pm

@kimmo ——–>> *goois out my little skafthini esinesinkwa ne butter and jam*

softnfree on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:24 pm

A deserving Groupie moment for my cyberliscious big sister @ Kusi

Mwaaaaahhhhhh
Uyazi mos sisonke
Re kaofela
Re together
One een
simunye
Ohhh we are one

At Ms NewAnchor
The article will come sweetness, the ‘sotf one’ just need to work on her summarization syndrome. But I promise I will work on one, even if its-a-once-off just to full fill my data bundle relative stranger’s family’s thirst….

Much love!
Xoxoxoxo

Mmaditaba on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:27 pm

@Softy0ne *learns patience & waits*

Ms.Zie on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:28 pm

I’m out…

ScarletChild on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:32 pm

This is it —-> “Maar as a single mother hle, I wouldn’t mind a rich man to help me out financially. I’ve learnt that love and dignity don’t pay bills. Unfortunately I do not have a rich man maar if I did I would hold on to him tight.
Our baby daddies/boyfriends that “love” us screw us for free. so to me, fornication is fornication so why not get something from it?”

My sentiments exactly. Thank you Pana

softnfree on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:37 pm

Its a virtue angel!

Now pls find a way to patch up with Pakistan (Mapakisha)

I love my three M’s
Mamamia
Mmaditaba
Mapakisha

Without the other, there is just no M’ for me….
Pretty pls, akere Pakistol?!.

Fezzy on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:38 pm

@softy…Are u lesbian?

Kusihlwa on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:40 pm

Whats up @WI long timw,whats cooking ngalapho? Mina, I am going to start charging my hubby toll fees ontop of everything else so that I can fel like I am dating a rich men. *esho ekhipha i calculator, ebala*

softnfree on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:41 pm

I don’t know Fezzy (genuine answer)

What do u think?
What kind of aura our picking up from my data bundle?
Pls diagnose me!

mamamia on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:47 pm

it’s the gravatar aura she’s picking up lol.

Mmaditaba on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:47 pm

LMFBAO!ROTF THOUGH AT @KUSI. Charger mama charger! Charge him for the cooking,cleaning,opening legs wide ,ei tell him all that sweat costs alot maan. Abanye ba badalisa wena uzathi ulindeni? Charger mama! LOL

snapshot on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:48 pm

tjo!ive now developed a headache, with all your comments.

When we talk about people who have thier consciousm], we directly refer to Golddiggers, bafe inhliziyo. you can’t be sleeping with a man for money, married or not married, you can’t,ithini inhliziyo yakho mawulele lendoda yabantu inext to you,knowing very well that hes married and wifey might be crying at home.ukufa unembeza nje period.

its tru that money is the root of all evil

sxylin on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:57 pm

I would like to disagree with one blogger tt said,” Overseas the rich marry the rich ” not necessarily true:- ok I’m not a gold digger; I got my wealthy man and I married him…

Firstly I was a student @ the University of Manchester and my parents are not rich but they managed to send me thru to Uni; now all the little extravagant things that my international friends had I also wanted! So you get to meet wealthy kids @ Uni like the sons of presidents of Nigeria, Ghana etc and when I befriend them we happened to chill @ the coolest spots like have closed elite parties with the rich and famous in London… And so I met my husband through these people and my question is am I a gold digger? Cos I saw money and went for it; I still went on and finished with my Masters and defending for my Phd with a uni in Sweden:- which my husband is funding.
@ Dr Dee if you don’t mind me asking? Your sponsor, is he South African?

Kiki on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 2:57 pm

I have said this before & I will say it again. I am not rich but I can afford to look after myself and my daughter. I can never be caught dead with a broke ass nigga,lapho ke vele angidlali. I’d rather be alone. My man has to be able to meet me halfway if he can’t go all the way. Soze nje ngatyiwa mahala nje ngo fish. You can call me a gold digger or whatever I don’t care. Love on its own doesn’t pay the bills,cash rules everything around us. So people must stop lying to themselves and acting like they don’t like money. I am yet to meet a woman who broke up with a guy becoz he was ‘too rich’ I always hear of breakups becoz he is ‘too poor’. We are all diggers shem you just haven’t found the mine to dig in yet….and when you find it,you won’t wanna let go.

Let’s stop judging each other when it comes to such issues shem. We are not saints….its just that some of us hide it well. Sonke siyaphanda. #JustSaying

Wena Sexymm why are you greeting Lusta? I mean out of all these bloggers commenting here wena u choose Lusta? Sit down sisi! This is warning #2. O_o

Kusihlwa on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:03 pm

@Mmaditaba ngizomcharga ngisho nama counselling sessions wakhuluma nje nge stress sasemsebenzini for 30 minutes sekuwu R150. 1 round, R300, ukuthinta i magic stick R100 ama extra’s we will work it on a pro data rate, hawu sengiyisigwili nje ungibona.

softnfree on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:04 pm

@Mommy it cannot be the gravatar.

U’Fezzy is picking something up and thina abanye sifunikwazi kaloku..

Fezzy??!!..??
Patiently awaiting your results!

DrDee on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:06 pm

@kiki,kwa let’s see them leave their men becoz they are too rich.@sexylin no he is not South African,but has settled there for the past 20 years.

Wild Island on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:07 pm

hheeee khus…ishaye nje ngo madhiya leyo khalkhuleitha hheeeeeee the hougt nje kils me, keteng lov nekele lifing lol

Mapakisha on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:10 pm

The thing with me is ake na that kind of patience, so the few wealthy fat/old guys i had encounters never stayed cos I honestly just like tall cute boys. The only loaded, nice lookin nigga i ever met was that swati boy & I unfortunately liked him more for him than the moola. That being said, if one wants a loaded man/ woman please let one be. You have your preference & they have their own. I talk about not judging because I consider myself one of those people who have seen & probably done it all so I am very afraid of finding fault in other people’s life’s choices when I myself know where i’ve been.

Fezzy on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:15 pm

@softy…its ur gravatar dear.

Nomaha on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:15 pm

French kisses @Kiki. I don’t want a broke man self. Bf is average but if I can be presented with an opportunity to date a rich/wealthy I might just consider it. Guess I’m a gold digger self.

sexymm on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:16 pm

@Kiki kwaaaaa,ngiyasishaya istina ntombazana…

Kusihlwa on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:26 pm

@WI ngizomshaya nange Tax futhi, uzobona wena.

softnfree on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:30 pm

I struggle with generalization yazi!!
Like really Fezzy??!!

Gosh here I was assuming ud hit me up with a silent thought just crossed ur mind as u and I have been building up this data bundle exchanges over a while now, and maybe perhaps ud’ say its this kind of referal that sparked an intrigue in me about ur sexual orientation, etc you know’

And I was looking forward to that kind of diagnostic results and wena u just patched me up with ‘gravatar aura’ kodwa Fezzy….

Tjo…

Lustagp on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:31 pm

Love you my Kiki, gold dig my love life is so expensive to act macho about it! hahaha uzoshaywa wena sexymmm!

kimmo on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:33 pm

hahahahahhahahahah @ kusi ,tax??

mamamia on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:33 pm

Vele the road to riches is paved with ill intentions.

I can safely say i’ve never dated for money shem.. too much pride it’s a problem and def wuold be a problem if a rich guy were to date me cos i’d be out trying to prove the point that he doesn’t own me.
If he bought me expensive gift(s) i’d keep it for the duration of the relationship and if it failed i’d tell him to f off with his ish, hand on hips i’d say i did not come into this world with stuff moes as i watched him leave.

Men have said i have fuck off written on my forehead, so who knows maybe my big fish read the sign and fucked off hehehehe.

I once sorta dated some hot-all-over-town-doctor who used his status to lure women, did my research behind his back, he came over my small humble flat, we chatted, went out for dinner in his big car, when he dropped me off he asked for a kiss. ka mo fa the cheek, his face fell and i happily skipped off. did he expect me to show gratitude for his company by licking his tonsils, yes! i never saw him again…crazy ish… that’s when i picked up the fuck off aura.

*takes a bullet for the ms independants ba mo JC*

mysista on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:35 pm

@ Ntsiki I love you article…and poetry

This thing is so not a moral issue for me…Andazi someone once said ukuthi I’m amoral… but anyway, the whole concept of older man with cash, is as old as the hills, It is almost a cultural thing, we all have heard the saying ukuthi ” Ubuhle bendoda zinkomo zakhe” meaning the beauty of a men is his herd of cattle, his currency, his bank potency. traditionaly your parents would only give your hand in marriage to someone who could look after you, materially.

I do not see anything wrong with that, I would rather my parents… okay even more personal I would rather my daughters dated someone wealthy than someone who did not have money… C’mon we all have to be realistic, sonke sisemsebenzini ngoku, looking for money. Very few of us would be doing what we are doing to scrape together a living if we did not get paid for it…truth is money matters.

And if you are a 22yr old girl when you meet a guy rich or poor,& the guy is interested in you I can guarantee you that both men , the rich older dude and the stuggling blue collar worker are thinking about getting into your panties.

Its not like the poor dude will only want to recite poetry to your lady bits, uzofuna ukukutya qha! same as the rich guy,

The only difference is that the rich guy might buy you La Perla undies afterwards while the poor guy uzofuna umgcwalisele imali ye ngudu or loose draw..

That said if as a girl child you know that some dude is into you cause of your tender age and looks, then you must make sure ukuthi you use the time you have with him to save up for the days when you are not so young and your looks are not so enticing….Enter education!

@Softie, love the poem !

Wild Island on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:37 pm

uyadhina shem haaaaaaaaaaaaaa@khus

Mmaditaba on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:37 pm

I dzie ,I dzie ,I dzie, I dzie ,I dzie @Kusi LMFBAO! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha . With all that charging you wont to be working at all very s0on!

I’ve been asked out by alot of abo bhut’madlisa and nje have said no ngoba i knw i’ll just be in it for m0ola. So the chance has presented itself but i refused. Different strokes for different okes.

softnfree on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:39 pm

But ofcourse u did @Mysista

Wild Island on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:39 pm

eshe!!! @The only difference is that the rich guy might buy you La Perla undies afterwards while the poor guy uzofuna umgcwalisele imali ye ngudu or loose draw..

sexymm on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:40 pm

No Kiki,phela choose one or two,you cant have them all.2PAC,DJ OR Lungsta?Ngicela ungiphe uLungsta plz Kiks…

DrDee on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:43 pm

@mysister!Thanx sisi.You have summarized everything that I was trying to say today.Maybe I am amoral like you.

softnfree on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:47 pm

GOLLING @ Amoral

Word of the day

Amoral

Move over AURA

Here cometh Amoral

Kwa!
Dies and hides in between MySita’s Mooch!

Mmaditaba on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:47 pm

With my little knowledge and experience,whites actualy respect a gal who gets herself a wealthy man. Alot of my white older coleagues and my mumz white friends like saying this to me : “Make sure his financially heavy,it will work to benefit you, these poor guys just sleep with you and dump you,while you gain nothing. But with a very well off man,you’ll safely shed your tears in a lamborghini” and i *sigh*

Lustagp on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:52 pm

HEAR WHAT OPRAH WINFREY HAD TO SAY ABOUT MEN
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t “be friends”. A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
Don’t settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is
Don’t stay because you think “it will get better”
You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything.* He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man’s behaviour.* Change comes from within.
Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are…
Even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else’s man.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
Compromise is two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships…
There is nothing cute about baggage…
Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you…
A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals…
Look for someone complimentary…not supplementary.
Dating is fun…even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes…when a man always know where you are, and you’re always readily available to him – he takes it for granted
Never move into his mother’s house. Never co-sign for a man.
Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need.*
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful: Dr. Phil
You should know that:
You’re the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he’ll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he’s not the only one.
They’re all watching you, so you have a lot of choices.
Make the right one.
Ladies take care of your own hearts….
Share this with other women and men (just so they know)…
You’ll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.

okay i stole that from my wife’s files kodwa akandilahli mna, so if it makes you sleep this is for all the ‘moral’ girls keep it up!!LOL

‘Amoral gals’..touch lets go!!!!!!!!!!!!!

softnfree on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:57 pm

Amoral gals’..touch lets go!!!!!!!!!!!

Auuuuwwwwwwww
Voom
Voom
Voom
There goes my broom!
#touched#

Mmaditaba on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 3:59 pm

Lol *looks up amoral*

@LustaGP those are already in my file,thank you nonetheless #Touches and Go’s “Mawufun’uk’hamba nathi #LetsGO”

softnfree on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 4:02 pm

“Mawufun’uk’hamba nathi #LetsGO”
……..

#Gone#

*said with one hand steadily grabbing MySista’s Mooch*

Kwe!

mysista on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 4:05 pm

@Dr Dee, you are most welcome love… never explain yourself, This is your choice qha, and you get to make it & live with it. Aba abade bame ngomlenze oyi one saying that they will never get wth someone for money… nabo thats their choice…

Strange though how we sell our whole bodies( employment contracts), not just the places below our waits to the white men and for what?

truth is we all sell our bodies… I know some will say “OHO mina shem ngine Degree,wara wara wara…” I think that is even more sad cause now you are selling you mind to the ” man”

Hayi seng’qala ukubheda… tired & nervous, better go home!

softnfree on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 4:09 pm

@MySista

*tied&Nervous*????

Resist to LOL…

Go home my skat!
Will call you later!

Mapakisha on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 4:12 pm

Eish @ Mysista, shining on my bling ka “amoral”, i was sure my “saints” had made it.. *walksawaykeswabile* lol

Lela on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 4:13 pm

DrDee I think you are the one who has issues. I’m very happy with myself that is why I dont prostitute myself to rich men,i got my education from my parents. You are the one who said the reason why girls will not want rich men is because they are not slender or beautiful so my point just like the other lady above was that I’m not ugly nor am I fat but I am not a gold digger hence I said it is a choice and I really don’t care about choice that people make in their lives as long as they don’t make stupid findings about those who don’t share the same choices.

DexterSUPERIOR on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 4:13 pm

Okay! I have enough nebulizers for every victim who claims they’re being judged here today. Eish, Gold Diggers are so sensitive! *breathes once*

Lela on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 4:17 pm

Where did I say I want a rich man kona? ungazongihlanyela wena. I don’t care who you slept with to get your education,the only comment I directed to you was my first comment the other one was an answer to something that someone asked. Why would I care who you sleep with or how you get your money,you give yourself too much credit.

Mmaditaba on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 4:23 pm

Dear LebzaFosho

If you’re reading this,please abeg that ccNtsiki Mazwai get a nomination under Most Provocative/Best Writer yala kwiJC cause this lady ,in all her articles has made damn sure she keeps us on our toes! If not all,her articles alm0st always reach 200 up comments and make bloggers get hanky pankys in their pants. She has a special “Amoral” in her that is alm0st irresisatable about the bold statements she makes!!

Now Touch…..#LetsGo “Mawufunuk’hambanathi #LetsGo”

Bootylicious on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 4:24 pm

Well said wena kiki, u took those words right out of my mouth. Anyway guys help me understand I am just wondering if u are dating a rich man whom u like not only for his money but for who he is as well and he offers to pay u rent, buy u a care and take u on a shopping spree and u accept is that also gold digging?

mamamia on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 4:24 pm

hahaha ditto @dexterSuperior the gays are busy with their bill of rights, gold diggers should pick a number and join the que hehehehehe!

DrDee on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 4:26 pm

@lela.The comment about fat ladies said in my personal experience,meaning people I have come into contact with.So I don’t know why you gave me ur colour,size and age becoz I have never been in contact with you,or was the statement too difficult for you to understand.

Bootylicious on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 4:28 pm

Anyway to all the goldiggers keep digging ladies, eish if I wasn’t in a relationship I would join u and dig just for da fun of it

mamamia on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 4:28 pm

offtopic nyana,

eish there’s this disturbing trend amongst black women in the work place, females who go to the loo and not CLOSE THE DOOR of their cubicle, nevermind the horror stories we witness in the toilets but do we now need to see how you commit these crimes. SMBigH!! Hayi it’s happened to me enough times to make me complain, you walk into ladies BOOM mme omo golo u kutame mo seating and she’s your supervisor. aargh maan!!

Nkey.. on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 4:29 pm

SMH…

mamamia on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 4:33 pm

ke tenegile ebile i’m logging off!

Public announcement especially to those women who don’t mine for a living, get off your horses petrol is going up tonight!

Jahara on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 4:34 pm

Here’s a piece of wise words to those who think looks ONLY will guarantee u everything.

A WISE MAN DOESNT TAKE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD,BUT HE TAKES A WOMAN WHO WILL MAKE HIS WORLD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL OF ALL WORLDS.

So before u think that the size of ur body or the look on ur face is ur one-way-ticket to happiness,then darling…U ARE LOST in fairyland.

Lela on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 4:36 pm

Maybe I misunderstood this article,is it not about women who date men FOR their money which is what is termed GOLD DIGGING? Vele no woman wants a broke ass man but some women would rather be with men they love whether they a rich or not while others would rather be with rich men whether they love them or not. Personally,I will never date any man for their money and with that said I’m not saying I want a poor or broke man.

sxylin on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 4:44 pm

@Bootylicious nami tts what I would like to know ukuba if I love this man and he also happens to be rich and I accept all the gifts;”car, house, designer whatevers’.Is it also gold digging??

DrDee on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 4:47 pm

@sexlin.Only on JC you will be called a gold digger becoz some people here think that a gal cannot love a rich guy.Its only material things you are after.

sefula on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 4:48 pm

@sxylin. How old are u.
@Drdee I like u.
@alexis u know I like the way u r open..
@missan y r u quite?
Nna I want a wealthy man period.

enhle on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 4:53 pm

Ntsiki asks: “Whats with women chasing after rich men?”

Security? And money kinda provides that ryt?….thats what most women want in a relationship neh. So that would make most(all) women ‘golddiggers’, theres a women for every mans pocket. Just that some go for small fish and others sharks.

Bootylicious on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 4:54 pm

@Mmamia is diesel also going up? This people are killing us

Nkey.. on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 4:54 pm

Kea leboha @ Jahara Valid point right there.

B.MAG on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 4:58 pm

“SAINT”

SinoriMc on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 6:47 pm

Lol!afta reading thz comments I cudnt help but wonder,do sum ppl really condone “goldigging” specifically or they r condoning looking out for numba 1,aka selfish acts!morally challenged acts like cheating on ur spouses etc,using ths platform 2 send e msg ethi,”let ppl do wt they wnt,even if t hurts other ppl as long as they are happy”…judging is perverted,the minute u tell sum1 wt they r doin is wrong you are judging!is ther no wrong and right anymore bantu?

phantsi nge Gold digging phantsi!..women hev cum e long way,masibe independent bethuna!singakhohliswa ngamadoda who lost their sense of right and wrong a long tym ago!

sxylin on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 9:00 pm

@Sefula I’m 27 and married to a wealthy man whom I love very much…and we do not have any children yet

SveegIsCurious on Mon, 11th Jul 2011 9:24 pm

Tjo! wela kuma sponsors ngenxa ye financial background yakho @dee? Were you not too smart to get a bursary? @alexis-ndiyayiva eyakho indaba:)

Pana on Tue, 12th Jul 2011 8:07 am

SinoriMc, it’s very easy to be ndependant if you don’t have responsibilities. Besides it’s not Golddigging, you like the person or even love the person but they shouldn’t be a burden to you. And your partner should be able to provide for you a kere? Strues hle, pass him my way hle if you blessed with a rich man and you don’t want his cash. I’ll honour him hle

carmy on Tue, 19th Jul 2011 12:17 am

I seriously couldn’t hav said it beta myself *on point*

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