Chronicles Of Ms Taboo: Stuck In The Moment

August 12, 2011 by  

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Another week another blog… This time I’m going in deep. Beyond the surface.

So lemme set the scene… I’m posted in my bed, hot water bottle by my feet, and a tall glass of coke on my bedside table, bumping Joe Budden and Emanny collabos. Oh! This combo is FIRE! #Fact Moving along…

So I’m about to celebrate (if that’s even the appropriate word) one year back in Cape Town after my four year stint in the City Of Gold. For the most part my time back home has been a bitter sweet affair, and most days I wish I could go back to my old life…the one I had in the city of lights. But what I’ve learnt on this journey called life is so much more than any textbook could ever try to teach me.

I left Cape Town with 12 suitcases in a first class carriage (compartment whatever LOL) on the Shosholoza Meyl with nothing more than a pocket full of dreams. It was one-way of course. I had a place to stay till I got settled, but no job. It was all or nothing for me. But I remember thinking that I knew I had it in me to “make it”, so one shot was all I needed. And in a city where you can be anyone you wanna be I created Ms Taboo; an alter-ego of sorts.

The streets loved me. I was the life of the party, red carpet was my middle name, and on any given day you could find me hanging out with Jozi’s “in” crowd. I worked hard and I partied even harder. I admit, I got caught up in the lights, and believe me that’s easy if you don’t keep your head. And you gotta keep your head! I lived a life that many may find admirable, but in the end, it was my downfall.

Fast-forward and I’m back in Cape Town, using the skill I learnt in the place I used to call home with a hustle so fresh in me like I’m 21 again. Only difference is that sometimes, I feel like I committed career suicide by coming back, other times the pros of being surrounded by family and friends I used to come-up with outweigh the cons.

See, although Joburg instilled values like working hard for what you want in me, and going after my dreams because those opportunities were literally on my doorstep, I lived a pretentious life and found myself surrounded by people who weren’t there ride or die. My bad! I allowed that sh*t in my life, but these days I know better. The hard part is that THAT “free” spirit Joburg accentuated in me, Cape Town frowns upon. Best believe my portfolio is a power pack on steroids, but guess who’s job-hunting when I’m not grinding, like REAL TALK grinding on up coming projects.

No pity-party needed for this though, let it rather be some sense of inspiration. I am a firm believer that where you are right now in your life is exactly where you’re meant to be. And even though it’s hard to come to terms with sometimes, especially when you feel like you’re a little off track, we should use that as a guide for how we need to get back to where we want to be. A vicious cycle some may say, but how many have fallen and never got back up again? There’s a line from Drake’s new track “Headlines” where he says: “I had someone tell me I fell off. OOOoooo I needed that! And they wanna see me pick back up. Where I leave it at?”

And that’s exactly where I find myself. In fact, I’ve never been more real than I am at this very moment. I can look myself in the mirror, point out and acknowledge my mistakes and imperfections, and I can smile knowing that this slump in my life too shall pass, because what hasn’t left me is my will to fight for what I want.

During my year back I’ve been on the down low, practiced some serious soul searching and got my mind right. It hasn’t always been easy but it was necessary for me to move forward. I have distanced myself from people who don’t add value to me as a being. What’s the point of being surrounded by hoards of people who don’t build you as a person? Instead I’ve acknowledged and shown appreciation to those who were there when I fell, who helped me back up, and who have been there supporting me every step of the way. It’s the little things you know. And you learn that in time.

I’m not ashamed to say I’m nowhere close to where I thought I’d be at the age of 28, but I know where I’m going. And that’s what my downfall taught me. There’s no blueprint on how to “make it”, we all have to design our own maps, and the steps we take determine where we end up.

It’s so easy to become complacent, to settle for less than you know you deserve because it just seems easier, but you will never be completely happy, fully content, and be able to celebrate your self-worthiness if you don’t get up and follow your heart; your dreams. There’s a whole world out there that can teach you so many things. Most of the times the lessons are in the fall, but even so, what matters is that you dust that dirt off and keep on moving. When Jozi (Hip Hop group) dropped “Keep It Going” it was like that track was designed for the hustle. A hustle I would never have fully embodied without getting on that train and risking everything.

I have no regrets. I embrace life in ways you could never imagine. And I’m grateful for every single moment I’ve had to go through. Because without it… I wouldn’t have ended up right where I’m meant to be at this very moment.

I got my past; I just don’t live there anymore. And right now, this moment I’m stuck in, it might be irrelevant to you, but it’s everything to me. And ME is all that really matters.

*bats eyelashes, flicks hair and walks away*

By Myrna Burgess ©

@MsTaboo

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Comments

153 Comments on "Chronicles Of Ms Taboo: Stuck In The Moment"

  1. Jahara on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 12:54 am 

    Yoh that sooo true. Like when i was in varsity (final yr) i used to party like there’s no tomorrow. What made matters worse was that i was dating a surgeon & id just get sick notes if i missed tests.

    Turning point was when i failed EVERYTHING & i had to sit down & give myself a looong hard session of reprimand.

    Luckily i went to repeat it & passed with straight A’s.

    Now that has made me to be the woman i am. I made mistakes,but i habour no regrets. If anything at all,i cherish those memories & mistakes.

    Bongo Maffin sang: ”U’LL NEVER KNOW WHAT’S ACROSS THE RIVER UNTIL U CROSS IT. U’LL NEVER KNOW WHAT’S UPON THE MOUNTAIN UNTIL U CLIMB IT”

    After all the setbacks,mistakes,blunders,etc….im content with where i am.

    Thanks for the great article @MsTaboo.

  2. sxylin on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:08 am 

    Really gr8 article; I also relate I remember when I went overseas to study; thr I hooked up with international students like me the diff was those students actually came from wealthy families; I quickly forgot my reason for being thr and tried to keep up; my studies wr slacking and my parents spoke till they cldnt speak; I was always @ that high profile party with the prince of wara wara

    Funny thing is all these pple I hung out wit had their shit together; when I finally met my then bf who is now my hubby I was a mess failing all my semesters ; nt studying always following the rich and famous; he sat me down and made me realise that all this was not running away ; he put himself as an example tt if I fail I go back home with nothing to show for all my parents’ hard work and on the other hand if he goes back home empty handed he will simply go into his family business so it was up to me to choose to waste away my life following them or study hard and get my future;
    Till today I owe it to this man of mine who made me see the light and be the person that I am today!

  3. RexonaABC on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:13 am 

    As people we go through a lot sometimes, the best thing is to acknolewdge our mistakes, learn from them and be better person. Nna God has given me a second chance in life and since i learned to appreciate hwatever comes my way. Nice article thank you.
    @Jahara sorry for failing everything but the surgeon thing made me spill coffee on my table. I learn a lot through comments here.

  4. RexonaABC on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:28 am 

    @sxylin ekare you are talking about the situation at my school right now. Sometimes ‘we’ even forget that this scholarship is the best thing that could happen to some of us. Some people even force their parents to take loans to pay for plane tickets every end of semester so that when the school opens they ‘ll ask “what did you do for holidays, me I went home”. There are some who ll always claim that their uncle is the gov minister…

  5. PinkBerry on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 6:50 am 

    Experience does enhance ones character.. In most cases some of us learn better after we have failed.. N lost everything we held very dear

  6. bongi on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 8:36 am 

    i grew up without parents, mom passed away while i was in Sub A, never knew my dad. Granny was coloured and she raised me, she passed on to while i was in standard 7. So i was left with aunt (had 3 boy 1 gal)gal was a year older then me. Two poor uncles and one rich uncle who was married to a coloured. I continued with my schooling, used to steal train as it was always a issue when i had to ask imali yetikiti from uncle, was not always looking forward to his wife’s story of i must attend the local school as giving me money for bussticket every week is too much for them. i couldnt do that; i had a “family” at school who were my friends and also my granny enrolled me e coloured schoo. My life continued like that until i was in matric, going to school in during the day, go to friends house after school wait for supper and go home to sleep. In my matric year i got a job with a friends mom at a laundry for weekends. It helped as now i could pay for my matric farewell and do my hair. Friends helped a lot, i also had a friend who was more like a sister as she was far older then me; they were not rich but they had everything, she was financially assisting with the whole matric ball thingy. All this time my family was around, but were not aware that i was in matric as they had their own families to attend to, my cousin from aunts side dropped out of school while in standard 6 already- my rich uncles gals were all in Model C schools. I wrote my exams, passed with flying colours. We went to school to look at our results and went straight to work from there.So when i came home the next morning i went straight to bed; my younger cousin woke me up to say kukho abantu phandle calling you, i went out …my friends and neighbour singing happy songs and showing me the newspaper that i have passed matric; my family was shocked that i was in matric but not in a good way. I was happy, i continued to keep the weekend job, the laundry clossed down; and i was jobless. I had a boyfriend who stayed in my neighbourhood, he was studying, so most of the time i was at his place, backroom. He would go to school mna i would continue sleeping, wake up make breakfast and go home before his parents come back from work.
    …sorry for the blog…i just felt like sharing…will continue..

  7. PurpleRain on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 8:53 am 

    This for me is a place called home. I have learnt that only i can better my life. Its my fifth year in varsity, still struggling with a three year degree. I used to bunk courses for the whole semester and cry to God for failing but this year i have learnt to take responsibility for my life

  8. lamarOdom on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 9:16 am 

    Inspiring article indeed. I also took a huge decision in my life,leaving my job without another one. I just woke up one day and said “that’s it.” I am still without a job but do not regret my decision. That’s how I learned that money cannot buy happiness.

  9. cherrybabie on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 9:30 am 

    @ Bongi, wooooooow gal, your story is soooo similar to mine, where you, qhubeka phela, wanna hear how the whole thing ends….

  10. Estee IV WP on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 9:35 am 

    great article, this stuff normally affects women, especially those that are still at tertiary, because they compromise a lot for “friends” and “popularity”. I suppose [straight] guys are wired differently.

    I remember when I was still at varsity I used to party like hell, but that did not affect my grades really[because I was a "geek" during weekdays and didn't miss classes or exams for that matter, parties were strictly for weekends but then again that was a long time ago a lot has changed since then]…

  11. Lela on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 9:56 am 

    Hayi Bongi qhubeka sisi,lonto sendilila ke!

  12. Sana Lwam on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 10:14 am 

    Bongi pls continue….

  13. Nkey.. on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 10:34 am 

    Carryon Bong Tu….

  14. NozDee on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 10:34 am 

    Thanks for the inspiring story. Its amazing that in life almost everyone has a story or two about their journery. Thanks for sharing yours!

  15. prettylicious on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 10:40 am 

    Nice article indeed, I guess its true when they say what doesn’t kill u cn only myk u stronger. I’v been told by ma land Lord to pack up my things and leave , I have to be out of the place by today . I don’t hv any place to go accept for moving back to my aunt’s place who also hav a family of her own. Its hard to find a place to stay here cz there are no agencies , u jst hv to know sum1 who is moving out 4 u to gt a place . I’v told myself tht ths too shall pass . I know it seems lyk I’m moving backwards bt I know God hs gt sumthin great instore 4 me

  16. lynx on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 10:46 am 

    I believe that, “YOU ARE NOT DEFINED BY YOUR FALL, BUT HOW WELL YOU RISE”
    The fast life sucks us in and we get side tracked,like Jahara @varsity we had all these things at our disposals(alcohol, drugs, GP’s who give u free sick notes, BEE who can pary any time of day) I mean the were parties every day, we were’nt in need of anything, if we wanted groceries, poof, clothes, eating out, out of town vacations… so we ended up jetting around the country deserting our studies, drinking from sunday to sunday…

    I had forgotten how my parents valued education and how much they wanted me to succeed…Thank God I had met her, a friend of mine who grew up with a single parent.. her mom worked hard to get her into varsity, she was not doing any of it, never drank & was always focused, I realised that ITS EITHER /OR.. I stopped drinking, was now unavailable for the weekend get aways, catched up on my studies, got a new apartment with my non-drinking friend… I pruned the ones who were still “living the fast life” I rebuild my relationship with God.. I still partied but that was not all I DID!!

    I graduated got a job in a private entity, different province from where I was studying, after two years the company closed the branch, for months was unemployed, was depressed, started a business, but dew to financial landscape at the time it never stood a chance, got back to job hunting and eventually got a job…Its moving forward inspite your circumstances, I may not be where I envisioned myself to be at this point, BUT i have yet to finish my book… I AM STILL WRITING

  17. Cutypie on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 10:57 am 

    Buya phela Bongi! Eish, we’ve all been through hell and back shame. At the end of the day, our past doesn’t determine our future. Our attitude determines our altitude!

  18. YolandaMeslane on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 11:06 am 

    Thanks for sharing Ms Taboo, that was a refreshing story (I even put on my reading glasses to read this as I always get tired mid blog/article lol). It’s all the important things we always take for granted. To everyone else who shared their stories in the comments thank you, I appreciated the heads up :)
    As for Bongi, Please finish up that is a really touching story there.
    lamarOdodm, hahaha that is great because I did that too & I agree with you it feels so good. After that I still became even more particular when I get a job offer & did not feel bad for declining any job whatever it offered :)

    As for me, I made my mistakes, I would make different ones maybe if I had a chance to try again but I don’t regret anything and I’m still looking forward to making more because there is no guarantee that we ever stop making mistakes in life :)

  19. tshisa on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 11:13 am 

    *Touched by Bongis story* U have 2continue nyani….&ke weve all been thru such, but different situations.

  20. Gugulicious on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 11:14 am 

    @Bongi, gal u need 2 cum back and tell the whole story pls……..

  21. candy-coated on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 11:17 am 

    eish ya. Such is life.
    I came close to committing suicide between December 2010 and Jan 2011, all because of my studies. I was failing DISMALLY. Jan i recieved a letter from the health faculty telling me not to come back ’cause my performance was below par. Iv never felt so useless in my life, ngabona ukuth kungcono ngizbulale ngoba vele if my parents were to get hold of this letter they’d kill me anyway. Ay, kudlule iskhathi, i finally decided to talk to a close frnd abt this n she was also goin thru the same thing. She encourages me to appeal. 2 days later my dad calls me to the lounge kwakushubile, he had also recieved an appeal form n a letter from the skul! He shouted @ me kancane n told me to appeal. I did so. kudlule iskhashana and i was re-admitted :) . Phew. i passed my first semester comfortably. Im now looking forwad to putting smiles on my patients next year. Praise the Lord!

  22. Lustagp on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 11:20 am 

    Ms Tabooo great article…and YES the is a blueprint in making it, do you know what it is: it is you not losing faith on your dreams, it is you knowing exactly you can write and touch people’s lives, it is you not losing sight of that talent my dear…Keep Strong we all have bumped down but we will never be out while breathing. This article is your blueprint!

    Bongi..continue please,,

  23. JustPS on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 11:33 am 

    Great Article indeed……we’ve all been through difficult times but because of the faith we have in ourselves we manage to beat these obstacles…..@Bongi i have a feeling that your story had a happy ending….tell more.

  24. G.lethu on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 11:38 am 

    Great article… what doesnt kill you makes you stronger

  25. Ms Taboo on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 11:44 am 

    Thank you for the love. I swear, I was so sure I was gonna be judged on my honesty, and truth is that doesn’t even fade me! My blogs are bits and pieces of the puzzle that is ME! I wrote this one in particular because it was so close to home, and I hoped that it would inspire at least 1 person. It doesn’t get much realer than this! And THAT is my simple truth :)

  26. Cutypie on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 11:52 am 

    @Ms Taboo you are going to be judged for thinking that we’d judge you! :)

  27. bongi on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 12:01 pm 

    …so my boyfriend is the only child, he had a Edgars and Markhams account that the parents were paying for.He bought clothes kwa Edgars for me..and it felt good to be spoilt. My twenty first came,the special friend with her friends planned it at her house; it was beautiful, no one from my family came, still have the pictures to prove. We had a great time, i got a bracelet and chain set from her and the friends zakhe gave me clothes and stuff.My boyfriends mom bought me a bag with some ladies goodies. I got a job at those stalls at the V&A waterfront making and selling pencils. I worked from six to nie, and during the day i enrolled at a computer school.From the i got a job at pick n pay, moved to debt collectors, moved to accounting firm as a receptionist,so i was earning money now ..and BOOM family yabuya left right and centre..my cousins frm the rich uncle were now introduces as my “sisters”…i bought furniture, dress my “sisters” and i was “loved”.Then i fell pregnant..sister tells aunt…things canged..we had a physical me and aunt, i remember she klapped me and nam i klapped back and it was hair pulling annd screaming…but i won lol…so i packed my bag and ran over to boyfriends house, as aunty went to uncles business to tell him about us, so he was goona kill me and i was fearing for my baby in my stomach…..will be back…

  28. BlindFold on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 12:08 pm 

    Hey you @Bongi dont do that, my eyes were like popping out of my face and my entire body on the computer reading, asseblief tog…

  29. Cutypie on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 12:19 pm 

    Bongi please don’t take forever like the last time. PLEASE tu! Tjo, families though.

  30. bongi on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 12:19 pm 

    ..so i got there my man utipile, woke him up, his whole body is moving so i just jumped into the bed. Next morning im telling him the story, so my plan is to go my highschool friend who stay in observatory with her boyfriend. I told her and now was staying with her.I called uncle to explain, he didnt want to hear anything, so i was on my own, pregnant and didnt know what to do. Boyfriend comes to visit the third day, while i was eathing the KFC and leaning on him; he said: my aunt went to their house, and he find ugrandma wakhe while telling ugrandma that im pregnant and the child is not my boyfriends..so u grandma doesnt understand afrikaans and calls umama ka boyfriend to come assist and atolike. Mom in law listens to her and tell her that, my aunt my deal with her house issues without involving them in. Remember then this is the first time that the inlaws hear about the pregnancy…

  31. CottonCandzy on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 12:20 pm 

    Hello JC family this article took me from the spectator stand,First time I comment and I must say the scars from the past help write our story of glory.I remember when I started out at Varsity yonke into ewrong was right,the thrill of being out in the dark made my heart skip a bit and being my own landlord was total bliss,wrong choice of friends made my wits take a seat and I started slacking,from being a straight A student @high school to getting pathetic E,s I Knew I had to go back to ”me”even thou twas after a close’s friend,s tragedy of being preggies I had to do ”me”’ fulltime…and oh ya I found Lord Jesus and even thou Im a Chriatian rebel this Man saved me from a hazard ways…..*blowssugarykisses2everyone*

  32. promisez on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 12:23 pm 

    iyooooh then what Bongi,,,

  33. bongi on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 12:25 pm 

    ..so after my boyfriend told me the story uKFC wabuya on his lap..iyhoo i thought the baby was popping out of my mouth…i was crying and crying..he tried to calm me,but it was too much. He believed me thats what he said; but i could see that he had doubts…Follwowing week he came and said he has found a place for us to rent in Belville; i was happy so i went back home to fetch my stuff, when i got there i no longer had a room, stuff was packed in black bags. The room was made of bricks..iroom yezitena…so men and my friend we packed the stuff in the bakkie and left. Me and boyfriend stayed together, stomach growing big, boyfriend is supportive, his parents are supportive, boyfriend shaya ama dissapearing acts, cried myself to sleep and get up and move on…

  34. MissAN on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 12:29 pm 

    @ Purple Rain… I know what it feels like.. big up to people that finish their degrees in record time. Mina I finsihed Grade 12 in 2003 got merit exemption. Enrolled at RAU,did a BComm Logistics 2004-2008, 1st year I passed everything and well, come 2nd I failed. I just did not like what I was studying. 2006 got kicked out. 2007 went to work at a call centre,no offebce,I realised this is not for me, yeah i was getting paid every week as a temp but perm stuff getting 8k? I was like…How will I buy a house,send my kids to private school travel,etc with such little money… 2008 I wnt back for a BComm Economics and Econometrics degree and I am done!! Hang in there,I know people will ask you stuoid questinons,kanti uqeda nini,uyasithanda isikole,ceda umama aphumule… I am sooo glad my parents despite sacrificing I always had textebooks and accommodation. Education is there best thing you can get yourself. I am not working manje BUT I know for sure,I will get a job at the companies I am aiming for. hang in there sisi and just study. I am relieved to have my degree more than enything else.

    Jozi has a way of draining you. I am at home,a small time and have hea soo much time to reflect and @Lela I am even going to cell meetings every Thursday… sometimes we really need to be sooo low to realise what we have to achieve in life.

    Well done to everyone that never gave up and hey there is more to live for. Suicide is not there answer.

  35. sweetie on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 12:30 pm 

    good day all, Bongi pls go on.

  36. MissAN on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 12:34 pm 

    @ CottonCandy… tjeerrr!! the worst feeling ever…just settling for a pass, 50% even though you can get an A!! I will never forget getting a 18% for Econometrics 3 test 1 and I was soooo crushed,me an 18%!! I studied like a nuthead for my 2nd test and got 86 %!!!

    Those still in varsity that are on JC,please guy…be like @ Estee WVP…. balance. Have fun and study twice as hard!!! Nothing is worse than seeing people you were in 1st year with,rocking suits and looking like they are from work and wena you still looking like a tyoical student…. please guy,fundani. Yekelani ama Dj.

  37. bongi on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 12:39 pm 

    ..now i was on maternity leave, so its easter weekend mother inlaw invites me to spend the longweekend with them. So there i packed and go.Late im sleeping next to my man at his family’s house, cramps, cramps and more crasmps…….waking uboyfried..yhoo he is not moving at all..and im like yho this guys was talking to me now now..phoned his aunt who is not staying here with them, but she knows my mom you know those drunkard aunts in the family..she calls the house ..and boom the boyfriends mom is at my door while her hubby is pulling the car out..Hubby gave boyfriend one klap and he was awake…we drove to the flat, picked up the bad, drove to Somerset hospital (V&A)..they left me and boyfriend there..mother in law gave unyana ismirnoff i nip to let me drink it to help the baby to come out quicker.Boyfriend was now drunk from the smirrnoff…and i was still pushing…later in the day baby pops out…Father in law came to fetch me..and now i was staying with them…my child is a gal, replica of daddy wakhe…everything is his daddy. I could see that they were happy that the child looked like them, one day this aunt came undress the baby and yhoo she was singing so loud.. dont know what was happenign apperently it was explained that she was looking for impawu zala family;yes it was their grandchild they were very happy…

  38. MissAN on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 12:49 pm 

    @ Bongi… vodka during birth? @ LadyGaga take notes…

  39. Lustagp on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 12:54 pm 

    lol..chronicles of bongi somehow zyahlekisa the way you dish them!!

    Lady Gaga is pregggies …congrats!

  40. CottonCandzy on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:02 pm 

    @MissAnn yoh knowing you can but failing to do because of some temporary high ai but such help us to make better choices Monate hao fele ho fela motho *high5* to you man that was skyrocking come-back from 18% to 86% vele anything is possible:-)

  41. bongi on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:04 pm 

    ….so i we stayed with the inlaws until i went back to work. Baby was spoiled by them; grandpa took us shopping bought i pram, those big ones with brakes, carseat and lot of toys. We moved back to our place…baby was four months old now..we had a livein nanny who was shipped down from de aar from baby daddys side to help with her. I got another job closer and we moved to kuilsriver.It was nice, we were happy, we were both working…two years later i was preggies again..at this stage i got pregnant at a bad time as we were fighting..and fighting…gave birth, baby was a year and few months old, i decided to move out of our house and moved into a flat. There was no woman; it was drinking and more drinking…misuse of money…i felt like i was raising the kids alone. I wished it was a woman then iwould have known that im dealing nenye injakazi, but i was dealing with something that was out of my control. We stayed in the flat, he stayed in the house, he was worse now and it broke my heart as i was still very much inlove with him. His parents intervene it didnt help; they were losing him to alcohol; and i was losing my babydaddy. He was taking the kids some weekends, whenever the kids came back they would cry to go back to him especially the big gal, he would cry with them begging for me to take him back..at this stage he will show me pamphlets of AAA, he would attend their meetings, but mna i was so pissed didnt want to…his parents said the breakup we should take it as a break as we both needed space….

  42. tshisa on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:05 pm 

    Deathby “baby pops out” LMAO…eish Bongie ha a!

  43. CottonCandzy on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:05 pm 

    @Bongi hee banna that’s mighty new hahahaha so sminnorf helps with the baby delivery?….ao bathong knowledge is power struu#NOTESITDOWN4FUTUREUSE lol

  44. MissAN on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:11 pm 

    Esih I am sorry to think this,I could not help but think alcohol and Coloureds… too close.

    @ Cotton and having good grades and a good academic record makes life soooo much easier! Please get those As if you can oh at least 65%.

  45. Mapakisha on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:14 pm 

    He banna Bongi!! Interesting stories u got & your narration gal – priceless!

  46. bongi on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:20 pm 

    …at this stage the company was going through some financial crisis, i was retrenched. I told babydaddy to increase the money R1500 to R2500 as i was jobless..he said come back home.. i said go play in the lake…i woke up to the kids to creche (home creche down the road) went back to bed,went for interviews, inlaws will bring foodparcels, take the kids for long periods… babydaddy would come on payday, take us for shopping, i was also included in the budget…i got a job, my monies were paid out, i bought a car..one by one family crawled back into my life..”sister” moved in…she was not working…at this stage i wasnt driving the car my rich uncle was…yay im happy my family is back in my life… babydaddy is now in a ways a regular, he is clean but still drinks- im happy about his changes. At my new job idated a colleague on skype…he is in jhb…i started in sept and in nov..we had plans to meet for the first time at our year end function..he booked hotel…we spend the nights..i was without a man for a year and few months so i was looking forward to the new touch…(dissapointed)…he was too educated, bragged about it…sjo umcinbi ebhedini awubethi….hayi madoda…

  47. MissAN on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:24 pm 

    @ Mapakishi…say that again!! The narration is just a killer.

    Tjo!! @Bongi… you are a strong woman!! So all this time,no man and even baby daddy akatholi niks? *sideyes Lela*

  48. CottonCandzy on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:25 pm 

    @Miss Taboo ”I got my past,I just dont live there anymore…”Oh Wow I can relate beegtime.It is when we decide to turn new leafs in our lifes we fully enjoy the new moments,the past has to be archived its irreplaceable documents of our lives and hell yeah they made us strong as we are but one mistake we can do want to live the same book twice….looove ur article Sisi;-)…..@JC enjoy ur weekend guys my TIME@the internet cafe has elapsed…lol…*mwahntjies*

  49. BlindFold on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:26 pm 

    Hai wena @Bongi, so are you still with the babies daddy?

  50. Sana Lwam on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:26 pm 

    What a story Bongi….the ending is priceless “sjo umcinbi ebhedini awubethi….hayi madoda…”
    kwa kwa kwaaaa

  51. Lustagp on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:27 pm 

    Bongi happy for you, but dnt trust your family wiht your life vha, be independent and dont share everythign with them!

  52. JustPS on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:30 pm 

    LOL @Bongi…..go on.

  53. sweetie on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:30 pm 

    @Bongi , wat a story gal!

  54. CottonCandzy on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:33 pm 

    @MissAnn done and dusted lol no red marks on my academic record now jobhunting,done 2 interviews already and waiting on the head-ups,finding me is off the planet I applied for the sowetan/stellenbosch scholarship to study postgrad journo next year …..;-) I would like to go back to school literature gives me such a high…bakae bazalwane bamo ntlung ke kopa le mpehe ho ramasedi hle lenna Il b busy ka mthandazo..lol

  55. bongi on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:33 pm 

    ..now i was like eish my drinking man knew his story in the bedroom, he was the best..yes he was…wether he was drunk or sober uyayazi intombi idlaliswa kanjani, now mr jhb yena whooo the minute he came into the room he switched the lights off and hai to me ke that was a NO…I said to myself..sisi yitya lomntu, and umntyisisise ngoba icacile ba akazukutya yena… i did my job, i did it well..as i could see that ubhuti is used to frozenchicken from picknpay eziqine ngumkhence; mna im used to be a monkey; cat ; dog you name it…we planned a weekend away with babydaddy with the our kids..he was crying, i was crying, we were crying, we were drinking i bought him a bottle of Johny Walker Black, JC le Roux for me, juice for the gals…we had a lot of nice food, packed in my sexy clothes..(im full figure, round face beautiful with dreadlocks- the ones that Bob Marley had;the thick ones…kids slept in their own room; shoo we made love…i couldnt stop…the next morning my thingy was on fire but in a good way…he was the guy that i have fallen inlove with…he was my man…i was happy..we talked and talked…and yes ofcourse i took him back…ohh the s*x was still the best ..he dusted off all those corners that needed spring cleaning…

  56. CottonCandzy on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:35 pm 

    @Bongi and ur story breaks me into lil pieces hahaha ke talente ntho eo :-) ur such a story teller

  57. MissAN on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:36 pm 

    Yo!! @ Frozenchicken!!!

  58. Cutypie on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:38 pm 

    I’m with Lusta. Yes family is family and we are happy when we all get along…just don’t let them use you hey.

  59. MissAN on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:38 pm 

    @ Lela… wena you just stop at cat, bongi is a dog,monkey!! LMAO!! I am finished!!!

    *waits for serial JC cheaters to get more info from Bongi*

  60. KevCare on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:39 pm 

    LMFAO @ “mna im used to be a monkey; cat ; dog you name it” :-P Not in a bad way but that was spoken like a true Xhosa woman!! tltltltl

  61. Cutypie on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:41 pm 

    LMAO!! Bongi ur killing me hey. I’m glad u and baby daddy found your ways back to each other’s arms!

  62. YolandaMeslane on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:42 pm 

    Hey Bongi :) *happy dance* I love happy endings.
    Thanks for sharing sweety

  63. CottonCandzy on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:43 pm 

    hahahaha#piecesofme yoh Bongi so brotha ran for the light switch hahaha not even an MBA can replace his sexual flaws yoh if a guy switch off the light on me one thing dts gona run on my mind is sum disgusting sore ready to burst with pus,even thou the wool tried to grow to hide it still it cant hide….*disgusted*

  64. Mapakisha on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:43 pm 

    @MissAn, please stop it tu, deathby “@ Lela… wena you just stop at cat, bongi is a dog,monkey!! LMAO!! I am finished!!!”

  65. Lustagp on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:44 pm 

    MissAN… Uselapha? mhhhh uthini na Bongi monkey, cat, chimpanzee tht’s my kind of girl, tjo lucky husband indeed!!!

  66. MissAN on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:45 pm 

    @ Mapakisha..when @ Lela once said ulikati ebhedini I was finished,so @ Bongi just takes it to another level!! These Xhosa chicks are making us look bad!!

    @ Yolanda haai @ bongi is not finished.

  67. MissAN on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:47 pm 

    @ Lungsta…kunini ngithi ngiyahamba!!! I am finished by all of this!! Guuys that still think when they having s*x with a woman,only they enjoying it, well @Bongi is putting that myth to death!! Uyangiqeda losisi… I am sure you can be as lucky as the hubby…

  68. BlindFold on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:48 pm 

    Qhubeka bongi go on..please

  69. Sana Lwam on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:50 pm 

    <<>>

    hahahahaha……tshisa Bongi! Uthi wamtya goed…tltltltl

  70. MissAN on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 1:51 pm 

    @ Sana Lwam good to see you… Bongi must give us a list of this zoo business…

  71. kimmo on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:02 pm 

    bongi

  72. bongi on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:03 pm 

    ..we came back..he moved in.. “sister” was not happy..she had funny tricks…i went home and ask for my car back..uncle playing hide and seek…i sms’d wifey to intervene…sy het gese sy is niks daar mee te doen nie!!! next step police station…gave my story..got a police van,uncle exchanged the car with another car …we were driving the townshiop flat…he is running aways…eventually he was hiding out at a house in philipi the car parked there without a battery…police took the car..he was swearing at me; wandithuka ngomama wam..i told him were to get off…there and then i signed them off.. for good. ‘sister ” moved out without bye or hi…i was happy…she stole money from me..but i was happy that she was no longer there…So it was me, my love and my two little angels…inlaws were happy..very happy…i was happy very happy…at this stage itold my JHB that im back with my babydady… he was not happy and wanted me to agree to meet him when he is down in ct for some fun…hayi bhuti andifundisi intaka ukubhabha mna…mayize seyi kwazi ukubhabha…One day we were just sitting and having a chat and BOOM my man said lets get married…we made the appointment at HOME AFFAIRS IN PAARL…We got married..got our two witnesses in the queue at home affairs..bought our rings at the chinese store for R15.00 mine and his was R30.00. On our way out we bought a bottle of jc le roux for mna and yena he wanted uJonny Walker (he used to drink vodka and betrams ..and now he is Whisky man…)..we got home sanxila kamnandi, i wwnt to go buy supper, the next minute when i came back, while i was gone he called his mom told her,she wished us well; this was on thursday…friday i took leave, he wentto work ..he came back his dad called him at work and ask them to meet for lunch…Sat his dad was at our place, telling me to notify my family that they wanted to come…yhooo LOBOLA ….i dont have a family..what now..i called a distant aunt…she arranged the people.. i got a letter to take through..the whole lobola thingy lasted for a month, every weekend, I was rich now coz they gave me the money…it was from babydady’s account…to his daddy’s..to mine…i was LOBOLAD…i visited my granny’s grave and told her about the happenings…his mom came after the negotiations, she and her husband are giving us wedding, white wedding, the full package…ukwamkela abayeni is taking place ngo Oct…man gave me a R8000 budget for the ring…I have a appointment at NWJ… the friend who gave me a twenty first party- is my made of honour…she volunteered to pay for the bridesmaids dresses, my wedding dress, groomsmen and for my gals dresses. So the lobola money i have put away, i have enrolled at UNISA for a diploma..will use the money to study…im happy, my family is happy…Thanks God for making everything possible…oh the wedding is next year march in Stellenbosch…Thansk guys for taking time to read…you are my family, i feel like i know you all….Geniet die dag..lief vir julle almal…

  73. MissAN on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:08 pm 

    Lol @ bongi… I am glad it ended well!! Manje if babydaddy had a drinking problem why nixila kangaka? Please be careful angabuyeli ku alcoholism. I like the lucky packet rings idea!!!

    I don’t want a rig when I marry but a matching tatoo with my future hubby.

  74. Lustagp on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:10 pm 

    lief vir jou bongi, so where are our invites? lol

  75. KevCare on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:11 pm 

    #DearFutureWife
    I hope you read Bongi’s story, stand up to ur family, leave out the skype colleague, but focus *i really mean* FOCUS on the “be a monkey; cat ; dog you name it” part :-)

  76. Lustagp on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:11 pm 

    and then when you divorce MissAN…Uzakuyenzani itatoo?

  77. Lustagp on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:13 pm 

    lol..Kev!! you on fire today!!

  78. candy-coated on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:13 pm 

    wow. Im gob-smacked

  79. BlindFold on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:15 pm 

    @Bongi yah neh….

  80. MissAN on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:15 pm 

    @ Lungsta… L.A.S.E.R and why unegative… idivorce yani? Wena ungamshiya umfazi oyimfene,inja,ikati,iqhude,unogwaja,ihaku,igusha ebhetini?

  81. Nkey.. on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:16 pm 

    MissTaboo & Bongi thanks for a nice read.You’ve been through Hell and HIGH WATERS Yong Bongi.But Im glad you happy.

  82. Zo on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:17 pm 

    Tjo Bongi’s story!!! I skipped all the other comments just to read it.. Congrats Bongi.. May the LORD bless ur union!

  83. Lustagp on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:18 pm 

    not negative i am being realistic dear, life is like that!!

  84. Zo on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:18 pm 

    Now going back up to read the rest of the comments.

  85. cherrybabie on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:18 pm 

    owwwww Bongi i love beautiful endings :-) am happy for you, you seem so happy & you are right, we are a family *group hug* wish you nothing but more happiness!

  86. CottonCandzy on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:18 pm 

    ncooooaaaa heart-warming story Bongi disney aint got shiit on you Sisi love love the happy happier happiest echo in ur story…;-)

  87. Nkey.. on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:18 pm 

    Tjo!!!! tltltltltltlt another long one from Bongi. *goesbacktoread8

  88. JustPS on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:19 pm 

    Tjo!! @Bongi *bows* you’ve come a long way sisi,Happy ending indeed Wow!! Happy for you :) …….All the best with your studies…….so kahle kahle in your life you only had two boyfriends (JHB guy and hubby?) *claps* o strong!!

  89. MissAN on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:19 pm 

    yeah @ Lungsta I know,just the unique idea of it. But there is laser to remove tatoos.

  90. CottonCandzy on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:20 pm 

    Battling to log out ho neng ke laela thle……se kea tsamaya bye JC family

  91. bongi on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:22 pm 

    @ MissAn mna i have stopped now…ngoba im on this eating programme to lose weight..yena he is cool now…its ok let him drink, but kakuhle…i get this injections in my stomach at a pharmacy in belville, it melts the fat…it melted mine, in two weeks i lost 3kg’s…so im still going strong..i want to be a sexy makoti…tl..tl..tl..

    yhuu im only reading the comments now: you guys niyandihlekisa… you are really special…

  92. Lustagp on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:24 pm 

    MissAN..Just imagine you in pain for the loss of your marrige then you have to endure another one yadi-laser kanti if it was a ring you just go to the nearest jewellery shop and deposit yourself a new car if it will be R100k upwards!!LOL!

  93. MissAN on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:25 pm 

    Haai @ bongi… your stories are helirious!! you get injection for fat? I hope that injection wont have any future bad effects,yekela injection and join a running club or aerobics.

    manje siphe amatips to be a monkey,cat,dog,you name it in bed…

  94. Mababez on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:25 pm 

    WOW Bongi

  95. Pule on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:31 pm 

    No wonder it is quiet over there.
    this place is on fire!!
    Bongi is in top form.

  96. MissAN on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:33 pm 

    @ Lungagp…then you would have to introduce me to your hogh flying friend for me to get that R100 k ring… My gosh I would never wear it!! Phela mina ngiyalahla shem.

  97. Botshelo on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:35 pm 

    Wow, your stories are awesome because you all have happy endings (solved your own problems and sorted yourselves up)

    bongi dear, God’s plans for you are great (Jeremia 29v11) they prevailed despite your family situation. From here, it can only get better

    @MissAn – you are such a friend (yekela injection and join a running club or aerobics) so caring. We need people like you

  98. bongi on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:37 pm 

    ha..ha haibo MissAN… well i didnt go to any university for that as you have read mos ndiphele e Highschool and to computer school..lol…

  99. Lustagp on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:38 pm 

    LOL…unfortunately i would love to remain anonymous here for the rest of my blogging MissAn…so i dont know how i can hook you up ttltltl

    you R100k ring will fit your tiny finger so much tht it will nver fall besides iza kube in-insurance…lol!!!

  100. MissAN on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:41 pm 

    @ Botshelo… tjo!! Injection for losing weight? I am not in the medical field,but I am not comfortable with someone using injection to lose weight!!! Yini,nawe you want to lose weight?

    Maybe @ Mapakisha can give her a quick cure for weighloss *hides*

    @ Bongi… tjo! I have never heard someone describing themselves as a monkey,dog,cat in bed… I am happy you using the lobola money to better yourself and jokes aside,may it go well!!!

  101. MissAN on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:45 pm 

    Hawu @ Lungsta kanti unjani? Awufuni ngikhalele ku Porche nami? Phela I here these monied guys like rough diamonds..I am quick learner…tltltl

  102. bongi on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:49 pm 

    thansk MissAN…from here it can only get better, im older,wiser and know what i want in life now…dont stress about the injections they burn the fat quicker ..its like taking BIO SLIM tablets…mna ndine stubborn fat,so i needed something e strongo…about gym ke im terrible apho…

  103. Lustagp on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:56 pm 

    Lets build this JC friendship first then i will see to it one day if i can add you to my friends-family list MissAn…lol

  104. Cutypie on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:56 pm 

    Wow Bongi! May God bless your marriage shem. Worry not, you have a family that loves you and has been with you through thick and thin. That’s your real family dear.

  105. Dark8lord on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:57 pm 

    oh, this is why I love JC, people from all walks of life share their stories. We wanna see wedding pictures being put up on JC.

    The road to self-discovery and happiness is not an easy one…

  106. Mapakisha on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 2:57 pm 

    Haaaaaaaaaaa MissAn, lmbao. U better stay in hiding, nxa – o sele maan! @ Botshelo, u don’t want my weight loss watwat, trust me.

  107. MissAN on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 3:03 pm 

    @ Mapakisha… laughing til I caugh *no pun intended*

    @ Lungstagp… I will wait till forever moes. Phela you seem well connected and I need a job,I would rather send you my CV than being hooked up…

  108. BlindFold on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 3:06 pm 

    @Mapakisha, e tswa ka tsona..what is it? your weight loss what what?????????????

  109. Mapakisha on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 3:08 pm 

    Ndiza ku fumana MissAnn u lahlekile, ke tla o fa map keo siye moo. Kneeling down to pray that MissAn gets too close to me in a queue or somewhere then I can cough hard near her. O sele hampe! Ke ngwana mang yena o??

  110. Mapakisha on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 3:09 pm 

    @Blindfold, tlohela ho mamela MissAn o buwa matlakala..

  111. MissAN on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 3:10 pm 

    @ Pakz I am just fooling around neh…Each time I see that TV ad,I think of you and I laugh…

    @Blindfold… its T to the B…

  112. MissAN on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 3:16 pm 

    Guys good bye for real now… Enjoy your weekend!!

    @ Lungsta I am serious. if you can please do. When you playing gold with your mining mogul buddy,think of me.

  113. Mapakisha on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 3:18 pm 

    @MissAn, i know but have you noticed hore they play it so much more lately? Wa spita, regardless, wa phapha shem. I think u need an ancestoral ceremony, Isigo/isiko. wa phapha maan.
    @Blindfold, wae batla?? lol

  114. Serame on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 3:18 pm 

    What a great article…

    My story goes: Years ago, while doing my second year in tertiary, I fell pregnant by a very loving boyfriend, someone I call my first love. I came from a village far, far away, and was the first in my family to go that far with my studies, very intelligent and had my whole family rooting for me. They believed I was going to make history, and trusted me all the way.

    I couldn’t disappoint them. I couldn’t go back home to my village with a child because I knew I was not gonna get the chance to go back and further my studies. Afraid of disappointing them and going back to be one of those girls from home, who have kids, married, are house wives with no education, I decided to have an abortion.

    My boyfriend (now ex), supported me and was there with/for me every step of the way. He still is the only person who knows my/our deep dark secret.

    Fast forward to now, I own property, a car, doing great as far as my career is going and did graduate and make my family proud. I now want a baby with all my heart but my now boyfriend is not ready and is on his early thirties while I am on my late twenties. I am ready.

    I feel like God trusted me with a life back then but I didn’t trust myself. Now, I trust myself, but he doesn’t. My secret is still my secret and I shudder to think of what my family will say should they ever find out. I regretted the decision to have that abortion, prayed about it, asked God to forgive me but I still haven’t forgiven myself and it is eating me up inside so bad.

    This is my secret, my story, my regret.

    *crawls back to silent blogging*

  115. Lustagp on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 3:18 pm 

    MissAN…I have my neighbours’S SON cv, i have my friend s from east london cv’s so to be honest i wont be any help to you dear, but tell me unantnoni kanene apha kwi-finance?

  116. BlindFold on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 3:22 pm 

    @Mapakisha..e ke a e batla..ke batla ho fokotsa, thusa hle…

  117. Lustagp on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 3:22 pm 

    what i am trying to say, i have CV’S of almost everyone i know and i help wherever i can but tjo! it is not nice to be in my shoes where you can’t even breath without people looking for job from you, sorry dear but i am being honest!

  118. BlindFold on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 3:27 pm 

    @Serame, listen here the fact that you had an abortion is not the one preventing you to having kids, TRUST ME, I MEAN TRUST ME you will have kids when the time is right. I have friends who had multiple abortions and they now have three to four kids, please do not despair. I know you feel ukuthi the clock is ticking and you want babies, they will come.

  119. Pule on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 3:30 pm 

    All the best Bongi.
    With you by his side,i hope your man beats the bottle.

  120. KevCare on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 3:33 pm 

    @Serame, if man in his 30s isn’t ready to have a child then hai ska mo fotsa ngwana batho coz next thing he might jus get scared and run away.
    I disagree with you having “regret” for what you did. Im not saying it was right or wrong but truth is THAT experience is probably what will make you an awesome mother some day, who will appreciate and cherish her child as a God given blessing that they are!!
    One thing i have learnt is that living in consciousnesses of your sins is exactly what God doesn’t want us to burden ourselves with! One can never forget the past but it should not cloud your vision for your future!!

  121. Serame on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 3:33 pm 

    Thank you BlindFold,. I know. I just feel like now that I want one, my boyfriend is not ready and I would be having one now or not feeling the way I do, should I not have done the abortion years ago.

    *crawls back again, for real this time*

  122. Mapakisha on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 3:34 pm 

    @BlindFold, then read MissAn’s recent comments slowly & then figure out how u can help yourself get in my situation. To make it easier for you, read her last 2 comments again ne.

  123. Mapakisha on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 3:35 pm 

    Well said Kevcare…

  124. BlindFold on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 3:40 pm 

    Aowa @Mapakisha and MissAn, nna my mind is very slow guys..

  125. Pule on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 3:48 pm 

    @Serame,we all have regrets.
    this one will live with you forever but you have to find a way to move on.
    I don’t want to sound spiritual and push my spiritual views on you but i can’t help but tell you that that feeling is a lie from the pit of hell.
    When God forgives,he forgets.
    When he forgets he carries your sins as far as the east is from the west. It is as if the sin never occurred.
    If God forgives you and you don’t forgive yourself,then you are placing yourself on a higher platform than God.
    That is so arrogant.

    You still your man to want a baby.If he does like you do,then God will not with hold any good thing from you.
    It is not dependent on your past behaviours.

  126. BlindFold on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 3:53 pm 

    Adios Amigos, hlokomelang lona please..to those who take alcohol, let us all go and enjoy that glass…

  127. KevCare on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 3:56 pm 

    By the way @MsTaboo, its so fresh reading a story such as yours with you keepin ur head up thru it all. I think alotta people (including myslf) relate to it to a certain extent.
    Being the human beings that we are, we tend to compete with our peers too much! We compare their successes & failures and most of the time see ourselves falling short, forgetting that in ‘the game of life’ we are all running our own race!!

    I always look back at my ‘mistake’ and be grateful that i did them while im young enough to get up and still have time to rebuild my life!!
    Im happy some of my friends (with less intelligence) finished in record time and got great paying jobs in good companies. It shows me that my time will come….when i get to trade in my Chico for a car with ABS brakes :-P
    Life is really what you make of it. Embrace the lessons you learnt along the way and CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY!!

  128. Lela on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 4:21 pm 

    Wow Bongi what a beautiful story you should write a book. Hayi maan MissAn zange ndithi ndiyikati mna I was refering to other people,how i wish i was. That is one department I have issues in.

  129. Owami2012 on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 4:41 pm 

    @ Bongi can we make a movie nge life story yakho .. i bet we can win awards its so real , funny , painful @ times a lot of ppl wil connect to it in many ways than one … just imagine ur story eletha imali like harry porter and the likes .. well its … yah neh what a day ….

    now bout the Article

    this Article took me way back and i have realised i have grown , forgave those who tried pulling me down .. manje i am focusin on me and nd my bright future … have a great weekend my lovies until we meet again on MONDAY …..

  130. Brown Shuga on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 4:49 pm 

    :-)

  131. bongi on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 5:09 pm 

    @msTaboo i read your story and im so inspired..it makes me happy to know that we all have a history noba injani..i love you guys and thanks BrownShuga you have given us a platform to share…God bless all…

  132. bongi on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 5:11 pm 

    @ Lela haibo with my engrish ..write a book tl..tl..tl.. sukugeza apha…

  133. Pule on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 5:28 pm 

    to those who take alcohol, let us all go and enjoy that glass…………>>>>>Speaking to my heart.

    Safe weekend everyone.

  134. Phindy on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 6:53 pm 

    God has blessed u wt such a rich life story Bongi. Good luck sisi! @Serame, babe let go & let God.

  135. Pappy on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 9:25 pm 

    it articles and stories like Bongi’s that make comeout of silent blogging. I wish i wasnt so lazy to write my chaoutic life story. Sometimes i even loose track and try to remember how i got here,25, my intern contract ending this month August, no love life, no partying life either. All lady friends have kids others pregnant.im feeling lonely half the time. Im living with my sister and her kid ko backroom ekasi. In the mist of my non interesting life i a father, 3 older sisters that love me so much and they think im the best thing that eva happened in their lives. The 4 of them seem to think im the smartest in the family.i dnt thnk so. I thnk i need to lie down on my back and press a rewind button on one side of my brain. This is wierd, who eva gets confused about their own life stories mara?

  136. Ora on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 9:46 pm 

    @ Bongiz: yah is amazing how we go thru same things sometyms witht knwn each ada. Your story is similiar to mine just dat mina myinlaws dont love me and dont support us.madainlaw alws cming wth tricks to mk me n hubby fight but wht God has blessd no man can curse.i hvnt reached my happy ending yet.

  137. Makami on Fri, 12th Aug 2011 11:42 pm 

    Wht an honest piece, u r telling my very story. I’v bn here b4, in this valley, i can recognise it evn thou its a bit diff ths tym. It is where the greatest miracles hv happened in m lyf. The power 2 reinvent urself only surfaces when u r @ ur lowest…*moved*

  138. Tee.tee on Sat, 13th Aug 2011 2:13 pm 

    ish guys i hear u all.and ol the best.im bn sis doly 4 my couzn,my couzn is 23 got maried last yr dec 25th.january huby went 2 uk work related,left her with the house in centurion bought her a car.so my couz is stayin ther with her stepdaughter 2yrz and the nanny.huby broke up with baby mama then took the child.my couzn hvnt sin huby since jan and aparently huby ws around SA durin june and neva came 2 c my couz and hs daughter.he jst went 2 c ama friend in jhb then went bek 2 uk.few months my couzn cheated,and coupla wiks bek she found out shes preg and its nt huby.she then told the bf-babydady so the bf wants her 2 kip the bby,then few days later she cold huby told hm shes preg,huby dropd the fone,afta 2days huby cold told her 2 pek al her staf and liv hs house he dsnt wna find her wen he gets bek,then cold my couzn’s parents xplaind everythng.

  139. Tee.tee on Sat, 13th Aug 2011 2:17 pm 

    then parents cold my couzn 2 cum home,wen she gets ther they told her hw disapointed they r with her al those thngs,then they told her shel hv 2 fix ths on her own di tla ba palela.so my couzn came bek stil stayin at huby’s house and shes nw 2months preg.huby nt yet bek.

  140. Tee.tee on Sat, 13th Aug 2011 2:22 pm 

    and with me i used 2 fil lyk pappy bt nw i hav a son whos 7months and i jst fil lyk i hv sum1 2 live up 4.thou im nt with baby dady anymore.i hd a gr8 childhood graduated 2009 jst bn doin part tyms and modelling last monday i went 4 an interview at home afairs so im stil waiting 4 that col,crosing fingures i nid 2 get ths.

  141. Tee.tee on Sat, 13th Aug 2011 2:29 pm 

    last yr i gt pregnant and bf started changing nje i ws alone thru out my pregnancy until i gave birth he dsnt care weather hs child is eatin or wat.2months bek he came 2 cme apologied and wanted 2 b 2getha again bt he neva changd 2 i told hm 2 get the hel outa my life and my son’s lyf.hs mum once cold me askin me y dnt i bring the child 2 visit,hw do i do that?i mean the bustard and i we nt evn intouch.im suporting my baby and my family is helping 2.so nw my brother wants me 2 make hm pay maintanance and i refused coz i fil lyk maintanance is forcing sum1 and i dnt wna force hm 2 see or suport hs own child.

  142. Tee.tee on Sat, 13th Aug 2011 2:36 pm 

    so last wknd i bumped in 2 hs frnd and frnd is young pastor,so hd ama drinks and i xplaind my whole story 2 hm,he ws so angry didnt evn knw hs frnd is nt takin care of the baby told me 2 b strong,ampotsa a mabedi a mararo a modimo.so i thnk he went 2 c my baby daddy,he cold me last 9te askd 2 cme.i told hm im nt around pta,.he made me go thru hel and im doin fyn without hm my son is my life.and everythng that hapnd i dnt evn knw wat went wrong we wer hapy 2getha 4 yrz so i thnk its a woman involvd.bt goes around cums around.

  143. coolcaz on Sat, 13th Aug 2011 5:43 pm 

    TeeTee- at some stage gal u need to make peace with your baba daddy as its not yo choice to take your child’ joy away from him regardless of whether daddy pays or not. Deal with your anger gal and get over it. U don’t have to allow him in your life but allow him in his child’s life. Most of the time this is the sacrifice we have to go thru as mothers.

    Iyo iyo Bongs- that’s all I can say.*wordless*

    Molweni bo!

  144. Nerlee on Sat, 13th Aug 2011 5:48 pm 

    @Serame I cn rela8. @Tee.tee i hope they gv u a + feedbek @home affaire. So @MissAn u job hunting nw- goodluck! @Bongi I wish u well, ndihleke ndafa!

  145. Koko on Sat, 13th Aug 2011 5:50 pm 

    Now that was indeed deep. Tears filled my eyes as I read this article & started crying as I continued. Normally I don’t read all the comment, but due to the nature of this article I read every single comment.

    Ja neh! We’ve all been to hell & back. I was trully touched by this article, as I post this comment, the tears are falling uncontrollably.

    Thank you to all who have shared their stories. I can relate to each of you & wish you all the best as you continue on this journey: called life.

    God bless you all & enjoy the weekend

  146. MissAN on Sat, 13th Aug 2011 8:07 pm 

    *hands a tissue to @Koko* JC isn’t for sissies! Get your act together. Lol. On the real we all have demons to deal with and hey don’t go looking like you have problem. Smile and move on.

    @ Tee.Tee I think like @ coolcaz says deal with YOUR anger and don’t deny your son his father. Sure you mad as hell,I would be too,but you continuing with what you doing won’t solve anything. You will regret years later when your son has daddy issues. We have TOO many sad Khumbula eKhaya stories,please don’t make another one. As much as you hurt by babydaddy let him
    into your son’s life. Its not about you.

    About your cousin. She married too young and just complicated issues by not using a condom or being on the pill,manje she will give the hubby a better reason to kick her to the curb coz clearly he isn’t in love.

    @ Nerlee yeah I am. Just quiet but something will give. Isitori sika @bongi siyahlekisa but sad!

  147. snapshot on Sat, 13th Aug 2011 10:53 pm 

    @TeeTee all I can say to ur cousin is SHIT happened, mxim hubby naye did he think wifey ulala nemoto,kodwa naye,how do u cheat n live trails,

    Wena nana I pray God gives u that Job so u can look after ur son but forgiveness baby is the key, the bible says we must forgive more than more than

  148. MissT@T on Sun, 14th Aug 2011 2:31 pm 

    Bongi tips pls we wana be cats,dogs,monkeys n tigers in bed 2 ! Tips,tips tips plz thle

  149. Jahara on Sun, 14th Aug 2011 2:53 pm 

    *sigh*

    Yah neh. @Tee.tee,u cant deprive your son of his dad’s love. U have to make peace with the fact that no matter what he’s done,he still remain your son’s dad.

    As for ur cousin…shame. Honestly i wouldnt know how to comfort her. Hubby deserted her,she cheated then got pregnant…what a mess. But anyway,go tla siama.

    @Bongi neh…tltltltltltltltl

    @Everyone:
    Our stories should be kept in archives,so that when the time comes & we faced with times & tirbulations,we can go back & read them & know that we have come this far,never to go back again.

    Happy Sunday.

  150. Jahara on Sun, 14th Aug 2011 3:46 pm 

    i meant… ”…& we faced with trials & tribulations…”

  151. CarrieBradshaw on Wed, 17th Aug 2011 12:35 pm 

    “I got my past; I just don’t live there anymore. And right now, this moment I’m stuck in, it might be irrelevant to you, but it’s everything to me. And ME is all that really matters.”

    This article is just powerful! You sho did go in deep…find myself coming back to it just to remind myself!

    Light and love!<3

  152. Wild Island on Wed, 17th Aug 2011 3:57 pm 

    @BONGI…WOOOOOOOOOW….ROMANS 8:28 my siser…*pray& thank God all the time hle
    @Tee…i understand 111% my darling lenna kemoo love…life mxnm

  153. bernicetheb on Thu, 18th Aug 2011 9:47 am 

    Love, love , love that blog!!!! I’m in the same situation, and reading this just made me realise so many things. Thank u!

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