An Open Letter To Her
October 17, 2011 by Featured Guest Writer
WARNING: do not read this with your partner
Listen woman, I am a man; do you even understand what that means? I doubt it, maybe this letter will clarify, if it fails, have a happy heartache.
The difference between you and me is that you are an emotional being; you are complex, and everything is interlinked to your emotions.
I am a man, I am the simplest form of life, I use logic, I conquer, and I do not care about most things. I have two brains, my actual brain *filled with desire, not water* and my penis, all decisions I take are based on these two organs. My heart is my weakness, same as my penis, these two cannot co-exist; I can only have one operating system and any man who uses ‘heart OS’ is a woman, plain, and simple. A man’s DNA is composed of two aspects, namely:
- Getting Paid
- Getting Laid
With that said, a man’s conduct and standpoint is determined by function and Focus, a man’s function is to PROVIDE and his focus is either to ACCUMULATE, MAINTAIN, SHARE and/or PLAY. Function and focus is the foundation of a man’s character and conduct, yet a man’s conduct may change with time, influenced by his life’s position. I hope you are taking notes woman and stop saying “whatever” because I am about to say something that most men never admit, “yes women are smarter than men.”
Here you come demanding love and a relationship, the same love that makes you devoted to me. Mara why are you so obsessed with falling in love or being in love? What exactly did you learn from your previous failed attempts?
Women are very intelligent beings but only when not in love, because love is illogical, very arrogant and ignorant. Total dominance over a woman is done by reverse Lynching. Lynch was a slave master, his technique was keep the body, kill the mind. With that said, with females a man should kill the mind and keep the heart because he who holds the keys to her heart, owns she *can I get a Pimp Amen*.
I will never blame you for falling in love, it is in your nature, you are a woman, without love you incomplete. Yet why is it when you are in love with me you make assumptions about my feelings for you? Just because you are in love does not automatically mean I am in love with you too or does it? And then to make things worse, you get impatient with me loving you back, making me uncomfortable by saying you love me and acting clingy *then you act shocked when I leave the house in the middle of the night to go get cigarettes and I come back in the morning smelling lux soap*.
A relationship sisi, is more than love, a relationship is a lot of work and needs a strong foundation. It is sad that your definition of a relationship is taken from what you see on TV, you expect every man to be a fairy tale Prince Charming *funny enough I am Prince Phunyuka bamphethe*.
What our grandparents and team Zuma have are real relationships and the dynamic in which such relationships exist, is deeper than love.
The heart can love anything and anyone, love is blind yet to be in a relationship with someone you have to be compatible *to avoid being stuck with a pig, hoping he will upgrade and be a tiger*, have perseverance and patience.
The truth is eighty percent of the time I am not in love with you or care about the relationship, you are just a steady supply of sex or to be always around when I am emotional and to be my companion *yeah I said it*.
Here is the thing between love and sex, I prefer sex. Do not get me wrong, men actually fall in love, it catches us off guard, unlike women, you are just ready to love by all means necessary *acting like that dude who goes to a party wearing a condom already*.
The reason why love always misleads you women, as De Ray would say, it is the ‘hope factor’, you live by hope, always hoping if I am the one, while on the other hand, we ‘wish’, we wish we could get with you. Once you fall in love, the ‘hope’ clouds your judgment. The fact is a new relationship is like an audition, a man will do anything to impress you. However, after a while, the gentleman takes off his tuxedo and wears his DMD tshirt, dickies pants and painted carvella, then you will feel the heat, while a woman is consistent if not get better with time. A good man is one who respects you enough to do his dirt secretly, a man who listens to you *telling us not to cheat, that does not apply, we cannot hear that*, a man who cares about you and who is always there for you. Maybe as men, we do not understand the role of being partners, maybe you should remove us from the high pedestal you put us on.
Let me be honest, men are scared of love and commitment, we want them yet we are scared of being hurt. Phela when a man loves, he loves hard, once we let our guard down and allow ourselves to love, there is no going back. The mere thought of falling in love is heartbreaking, once a man is in love his manhood is gone, and our manhood is the most valuable thing we have. We cannot handle being in love, we forget everything and live for you, some men even neglect their mothers, muthi is not the real Korobela we afraid of, it is the heart. When a man stops being a man, kiss those entire manly traits goodbye, like being firm, being in control, you’re going to have a child with a beard waiting for orders – touch me here, take me to the movies, go chill with your boys, and get a job.
Trust me you do not want a man, who will follow you around and want to be with you 24/7 or do you? If so, then do not be surprised if he offers to assist in changing your menstrual pad. If all man were fairy tales then typical of a woman, you will still complain, Katt Williams says, stop looking for a 100% man, he does not exist and even if he does exist, he would want a 100% woman. Women complain a lot about what men are not doing, have you asked yourselves, what is it exactly that you are not doing, it is not fair to be egocentric and expect us to excel.
I do agree we screw up a lot, but since you are more superior to us why don’t you stop complaining and blaming us and mould us into what you want us to be. A man is as a car yet not assembled; do not assume being in position of the front seat and steering you have succeeded. A female affiliate, once said to me –“why is it that women think they can hump their way into a man’s heart.” The thing is that women think they run the world, this is a man’s world, it has never changed; do not let Beyonce fool you. What women rule, is boys world, there is a difference between men and boys; boys chase women while men chase everything that attracts women. The boy/man thing has nothing to do with age, you can have a 50 year old boy and I am not talking about Crous *no sub-nton-nton*. However, roles do change, a man can be a boy, only when in a group of males, we just become hyenas, we can discuss family, money, life in general, yet getting laid is the mandate *we think with our penises*.
Why do men cheat and lie? *haha* honestly it is because we can, it is in our DNA, we tell lies so much we even lie to ourselves, “yep, its big it’s just this mirror, Chinese mara”. Ladies it has nothing to do with you, it is we, you can spin like a helicopter, and do things to us even porn movie makers would offer you a contract on the spot or love us like you gave birth to us, but we will still lie and cheat.
We do not have the answers that you want, it is because we do not know why we cheat and lie, we can blame it on society and DNA, yet we just do it because we enjoy it. Cheating is like breathing we have to do it, we have to conquer as many women as possible, and by the way, lies get us laid and save us from trouble *we live to lie another day*.
The problem is that cheating is a skill most men lack, and concerning lies, we are bad liars. A man can lie very well if given time to prepare, but when put on the grill, unexpected hehehe I am even ashamed of being a man, we say the dumbest things ever, “Babe I know I had three condoms but the rats took one”.
At the end of the day, typical of a woman, you did not give this open letter a chance; you have concluded that I am a lost case. if you think there is a chance I might be like those man you see in those chick flicks, as Penny Penny says, “u ta twa ku vava” *this means you will feel the pain*. Oh well, the above mentioned is reality and fact, men have been like this ever since the beginning of time, dispute it all you want, you are wasting your time. Just accept us for who we are, be lesbian, or get a vibrator, this is the only offer on the table, work with what you have. HOPE YOU UNDERSTOOD ME WELL WOMAN.
While you are at it follow me on twitter, so I can direct message you and ask how it is? – @FanaThePurp
Reference: Chronicles Of Ms Taboo, An Open Letter To Him
Pics: Source
Maratahelele on Mon, 17th Oct 2011 11:21 pm
wish u spoke for yourself. I do not agree with some of the things u said and i do not think u should speak for all men but yourself…
Ms.Zie on Mon, 17th Oct 2011 11:22 pm
Well writeen Schitz, but I REALLY REALLY don’t agree with most of your sentiments. Granted men are different to us, but I don’t agree with most ofyoursentiments. lemme read this again & see if I can *try* to see things from your view, but nje seems like a load of excuses!
Nthoentle on Mon, 17th Oct 2011 11:29 pm
Itjo! Let me sleep
ndaku on Mon, 17th Oct 2011 11:30 pm
#deathby this *acting like that dude who goes to a party wearing a condom already*
LeanMachine on Mon, 17th Oct 2011 11:30 pm
Interesting article. But too generalized. You do get men who care less about sex and value emotional connection more. But it very true that men are “logical beings”
ThatoM on Mon, 17th Oct 2011 11:39 pm
This is so true though *sigh*
Vava on Mon, 17th Oct 2011 11:40 pm
Eish yaz i can relate to dis my hubby is cheating and whn i confront him he says he doen’t owe any one any explanation since frm last year around November,what i did yesterday i deleted his side dish numbers frm his fone,He was so furious he nearly klaap me,and he behaves as if de is nothing wrong he did,I only told him dat Another man’s rubish is another man’s treasure,still he got angry @ me he said mina ngifuna ukuzenza indoda na?,I give up in man and Marriage too,I got married @ age 22 now im 28,vele i wont understand man if dats how u operate…..
Adzasma on Mon, 17th Oct 2011 11:43 pm
tjoh *goes to d nearest Adult world to get a vibrator*
funny thing is my experience wit men has taught me each n every 1 of these lessons,they just dont stick in mind.wit every man,ders hope all ova again.God we live on it(hope)*sigh!!
awu bakithi into ezokwenzawanjani le.
all my lesbian friends r happiest coz none of this crap applies to their relationships,smh.
brilliant article.
Brown Shuga on Mon, 17th Oct 2011 11:47 pm
LOL at :
*funny enough I am Prince Phunyuka bamphethe*.
acting like that dude who goes to a party wearing a condom already*.
you’re going to have a child with a beard waiting for orders
heheheheeh *goes shopping*
DTutu on Mon, 17th Oct 2011 11:48 pm
*shocked* like I can’t even type wait guys let me rub my fingers sh!t
ThatoM on Mon, 17th Oct 2011 11:49 pm
Haibo Vava? Akakuhloniphi umuntu wakho shame
Tebatjo on Mon, 17th Oct 2011 11:51 pm
WOW!! I couldn’t believe this was written by Fana!! He he he
Death by a man wanting to change your pad!! YHO!! I’d die!!
“yep, its big it’s just this mirror, Chinese mara” <——- Kwaaaaaaaahahahahaha!!! Ku rough shame!!
This post is so funny, love it!!
magesh on Mon, 17th Oct 2011 11:56 pm
as a man i dnt fully agree with the writer, not every man will/does cheats and some that do learn their lessons correct themselves pick up an continue on their journey of eternal happiness yes as men we lie but u avoid @ ol costs to be in a situation where u gona hev to comprmse the truth if u hev a woman u trully love i have done it ol im a changed man livin to please only 1 wman, nyc article anyways hope it opens alota eyes nt women only bt also (we)men
Haai an the rats story lmao dats a gud 1 *bek to sillentville wait 4 comments \____*
mbulela on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:05 am
funny but not generally true.
@JoneighGALAXY™||I Am Who I Am||Afrikan Star||No Limits Soldier||Observer||Hustler Extraordinair - Rainmaker||Dream Weaver||Global Citizen||Carpe Diem - Seize The Magic||22CD64B6 on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:09 am
Humourous piece filled w/ gross generalisations.
Men and logic don’t go hand in hand. What’s logical in killing a woman b/c she was attempting to move on w/ her life w/o you (dumping you)? Where’s logic in a situation where a man murders his own family b/c ex-wife instituted a court order demanding him to pay pap-geld? Where’s logic when a man chooses to live life like there’s no tomorrow when his own children are living like orphans? This is only the tip of an iceberg. Manhood has become a weak fortress built on top of ignorance.
There’s a big difference between logic and impulse. Many men are impulsive. Logic is concerned w/ accountability, respect, and integrity, it’s focus is greater than the individual and long term. Impulse is concerned w/ the short term focus of materialism, instant gratification, and the self.
Men aren’t logical they’re impulsive. You see a skirt you run after it. You see the latest car you convince yourself that you need it. That’s not logic or any where near logic by definition.
You article is exposes the impulsiveness of our species not its logic.
@JoneighGALAXY™||I Am Who I Am||Afrikan Star||No Limits Soldier||Observer||Hustler Extraordinair - Rainmaker||Dream Weaver||Global Citizen||Carpe Diem - Seize The Magic||22CD64B6 on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:20 am
It seems like we have another writer who suffers from #MablerhTendencies.
ambivalence on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:26 am
@FanaThePurp *down on one knee*Will you marry me tu? An open marriage that is!
Oh my girliness I love this piece,basically all men have rats that eat condoms? And I die..Oh can I have that remote? Maan,man are good and they fascinate me! Pimp Amen!! Best piece ever about men*standing ovation*
inURdreams on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:50 am
Ndavele ndanestress!!!uthina na apha kum fanaThePurp? Ugatsho ubasisengxakini mos? So basically we’re screwed! Mna I’m happy with your generalisations shem coz what’s the point drawing conclusions from 2% of the population that doesn’t cheat! What’s that gonna tell us anyway, how is knowing that only 5 guys in joburg don’t cheat gonna help any1. We’re only gonna get distorted results that don’t mean anything coz they’re not a true reflection of the entire population!Team faka yonke lonto in one plastic bag kamaspala qha!
Brown Shuga on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:53 am
hahahahah rats that eat condoms kwaaaaaa
LOL @ inUrdreams
sxylin on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 2:20 am
LoL *LOGSOUT*
Miranda on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 2:35 am
I am sure we are going to get a lot of ‘I disagree,not all men are like that nywe nywe nywe’ ,Well well @InUrdreams is right,this is stats…based on the MAJORITY:). people are assessing this on the 2-week old-perfect-relationship they have with the guy they met izolo…think>> your last 3 boyfriends……O_o,now you agree with the article. #Puts a bullet proof vest on#
Reading this article I couldn’t help but wonder >>>If everything is about sex and getting laid and sex and getting laid then what is going on in the minds of the churchy ones,the ones that are more likely to invite you to church than to a party…wangithola?basically the ‘holier than thou’ line of people…I mean if they are not going to get laid before getting hitched,then what occupy’s the two big section in their brains,as per picture???
showville on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 2:57 am
Men cheat. No two ways about it. Some of us are good at hiding it than others.
To quote Chris Rock: “A man is as faithful as his options”
freckles on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 3:53 am
Ya ya ya! Men! Its like u knew what I was going through just hours ago fana! He just got back now! His story is: he was having a business dinner with some new client they have on board, and its a deal for R10mil and he aint gonna let it slide. Its bloody 3:30! At around 21:00 he was Saying to me “babe, I’m about securing us, our future blah blah” and how he’s got to make so much cash etc! I understand that, but no damn meeting ends so late! So clearly he was with “someone”! I’m so angry right now! Wish I knew exactly what he was doing, I’d give him a hot klap!
Fana, I was hoping to read somewhere in ur article, what we as women should do, say etc to make it easier on our men as our tactic evidently isn’t working. I love my man, and though we’re not married yet, I can tell he’s probably the one I’m gon spend the rest of my life with. I really don’t want to crowd his space, it would just be nice if I knew how to get him home earlier instead of him doing the afore mentioned! Pls don’t say, sex. Men always want sex and sometimes us women just aren’t in the mood.
freckles on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 4:09 am
Then we are called psycho’s when we get P.I’s to hound him or better yet, when we do it ourselves.
DTutu on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 5:09 am
Its Quite Evident that Fana is in his 20s and single but Great article anyway great Valid Points.
This is for Married people neh?cz my bf never gives me BS I love him.
what I realized is that the devil doesn’t want a marriage whether you’re a christian or Not the devil is always out there to destroy Marriages I Encourage all the wives to pray and read spiritual Books about marriages… well it worked for my mom.
@Fana u realise that u gave people heartaches neh lol like how dare u hahahahaha some nigga is gonna get dumped and more lesbians will come out watch this!!
Special Kay on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 5:39 am
Thank you *standing ovation*. So much honesty from a man nogal! I once asked my younger brother about men and all he said was men are all da same jst dat some try a little harder for their women. It doesn’t mean they don’t cheat etc but they try harder to hide it.
I’m so glad u wrote this Fana cos on Ms Taboo’s letter a lot of ladies shared their heartbreaks. Hope they are taking notes and moving on. You might have a bit of a problem though, Fana cos ppl might not accept dat this is wat it is. Ppl are allergic to da truth for some very odd reason. For me though you my brother are my hero
LadyMillion on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 5:40 am
I guess i will just stick to my man,who WORSHIPS the ground i walk on.i dont feel the same about him,as in undithanda kayi 101% mna ndimthanda kayi 43%.he’d do absolutely anything for me,and i trust him,we’re very close.im not saying he’d never cheat but if it were to happen and i find out,i dont think i’d be heartbroken (well maybe just a bit) bt shocked! I LEARNT to love him coz he proved himself.mna ke im happy with this arrangement
KevCare on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 5:46 am
Someone said its clear that FanaThePurp is in his 20′s….I agree! As guys we all go thru “phases”. At one stage u wana hump evrything n everyone n avoid any emotional connection wit any chic. SOME guys outgrow that phase quicker than others and find fulfillment in the one woman they r with…imperfections and all!
Question: When a man cheats, does it make him “macho” or does it mean that he’s just too weak(in mind) to control his urges??
Dddivo on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 5:49 am
Hai this article just gave me a headache!a shockin one!
Men cheat
Men lie
Men will do anything to get away with their bullshit
Reverse psychology is every mens best friend!and shem they know how to play it coz bayasazi how vulnerable we are
Worse if you dating a guy from jhb,in his 20s!he’ll cheat and lie like there’s no tomorrow.
So ladies men are people who wander,we have to be ppl who stay a few steps ahead..while his having a few of his flings I’m having a few of my own (reality)
Days of stayin at home and crying myself to sleep are over!
Gosh how I knw all of this from experience
Mina angsazi *strugs*
Tebatjo on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 5:55 am
Kwaaaaaaahahaha @InUrDreams!! ‘Pudi ya ja leotša e fetetša tše di ngwe’!!!
Owami2012 on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 6:23 am
OH MY GUCCI *thando’s voice*
Iqiniso liyababa yazi….
#speechless….
there is a difference between men and boys; boys chase women while men chase everything that attracts women. <—– wowza… Thnx pastor mbombo omcane *pulls duvet*
Owami2012 on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 6:44 am
Funny how mst guys who disagree wit this say ** thy have out gron it, they r wiser, r one woman man*sp. #fact is u once did wat Fana wrote bout , soo sit ur old cheatin ass down..
U r the same men fana refers to, acting all innocent. Lovin carin , honest wen I fall for u.. Ur BS comes out, the lyin cheatin starts ruling our lives..
#fact is 80 % of men th@ cheat r married, (midlifecrisis) and can we stop talkin bout how our parents survived, like really.. Thy ddnt have bbm then so thngs whr vry dffrnt back then..
I have seen guys who have been in relationships wit my frnds for 5 years nd longer ( I used to thng these guys r perfect) until I caught most of them cheatin
All I knw is no guy in this day nd change does wat my dad did : love nd respect my mum ( he probably cheated but to this day I dnt knw bout it)
All um sayin is Men mst realise th@ Fana rated them out qha.. We ladies must JBS nd pull our panties up nd cross them legs
LesDaChef on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 7:12 am
Lol at everyone knocking down guys who say this isn’t 100% true. If you wanna live your life based on generalisations so be it, the rest of us happy (less bitter) people will pass on by.
Yes boys cheat, but as someone said in the posts above, it comes with maturity levels and the stage you’re at in life. Same as girls who go through the materialistic phase we also go through “I wanna shag it all before Judgement Day” phase. Some of us outgrow it (I spent 3 years as a single bachelor just doing me, traveling the world, buying stuff I wanted, going where I pleased) not once did I care about watering my loins. A content MAN (not boy) has his priorities set, he can and will stay focused on the end goal. Boys stay focused on the next moment of pleasure.
So yeah knock me for “acting” like I’m different, judge me along with all boys, at my age I’ve outgrown the “baby I’m different” line *shrugs* that’s fine, just know my woman is happy where she is and she’s got a real man.
Raquel on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 7:28 am
I agree with those that are saying the writer of this article is young. You can actually tell by the words he uses when trying to make a point. Its pretty clear that he still dates students because I mean non of mature women have time for the things he put up there. Its actually the opposite with us. We make men cry.
The problem with men,I mean boys like Fana is that they always think they’ve got this shit called relationships only to find out that the woman you ‘think’ you are playing has been playing you. Not every woman says I love you and mean it. We have moved from 19 voetsek where women were naïve. These days I will make you as a man go down on bended knees after I’ve dumped you and still walk away from you,leave you begging for more. We also use men for sex,for money,security,stress relievers etc. Yeh you are just an accessory that I wear when I need to. Not every woman wants a marriage because not all men are marriage material and we know that. Its about time men stopped treating us like we are puppies coz we are way past that.
lbg on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 7:31 am
Lol #deadfordays I so think this post just funny, I think guys take advantage of the fact tht thy can hv sex nd no one can tell unlike women. Luckily for me I can spot a liar he comes with 3legs lol. Iv realised that guys know chicks want commitment nd live on hope, guys hv moved from saying thy love u on the first date to straight up telling u thy cheat so tht u start thinking u will change them. Pussy rules the world too bad we use it in a less advantageous way.
dejane on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 7:36 am
Tjo, like someone above said, basically we’re screwed!!
Its tough indeed. From what I’ve heard and seen its not just men in their 20′s that behave like boys. Its grown men, men that are in their 30′s and 40′s that seem to be reliving their 20′s and can’t seem to out grow their chasing after skirts ways.
So Fana what you’re saying is that we should accept that men cheat, lie and that its ‘normal’?
Ya ne, yaz I think I’m gon die single.
bayloo on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 7:51 am
Ppl can we get one thing straight being Lesbian doesn’t solve your problems. I had a lady friend who was straight then she played for the same team. She reckons its worse because her Lesbian partner cheated on her comfortably. Now she is back and she has accepted people cheat its a human trait its just that Men overdo it and women do it Better. But think about it ladies if you are so good at cheating what would happen if you date another woman????
TheeGorgeous1 on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 7:52 am
Thank u Raquel…
We are nt women who used to need men to survive.
Things have changed and the sooner we can realise that the better for all of us.
Stop stressing ka bana batho and start doing you
Leungo on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 7:57 am
My question to all the women in this blog who know that their men are cheating: Why are you still with him even though he is very blatant about his actions and does not even show any remorse when caught?
Do you want to wait until you have HIV or kanjani?
Ask yourself whether he would be so understanding if you were the one cheating and got busted.
You know very well that he would humiliate you in front of your parents, friends, colleagues etc, telling everyone what a whore you are.
At the end of the day you allow these men to treat you like rubbish because they think they have some hold over you.
They say relationships are supposed to make people happy yada yada yada, but all I sense here is women who are very unhappy at home due to those relationships or marriages.
People, life is too short to spend it being broken hearted, you have the power to change the situation so go ahead and make yourself happy.
This topic is another example of men’s superiority complex. They come with these excuses and expect women to be understanding of their bullshit.
Women, refuse to take this crap, tell your man what you want and don’t want.
If he does not oblidge, shake hands and part on good terms, at least you will not be settling for less.
If he wants to screw everything that will stand still enough for him to do so, then tell him that you can’t be part of that debauched lifestyle and bid him farewell bcos the truth is that he will never want to be with a woman who wants to do so.
Therefore, why must you settle for a man whore whereas man always steer clear of female whores?
BlindFold on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 8:07 am
Sanibonani nonke,
Offtopic, I saw the boss lady on Destiny..big ups makhulu phakama…
Tebatjo on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 8:09 am
Some questions can’t be asked without coming across as a tad bit judgmental!! Like @Leungo’s question!! But I’m also curious!!
What sucks more is that there’s actually women out there who will knowingly and willingly become side-dishes!! They live among us!!
freckles on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 8:11 am
I think women should just accept men will cheat! If ur man hasn’t, never will cheat, then maybe he is not a man. Bill Clinton cheated, Tiger Woods cheated, Barack Obama probably is, even the 17 year old boy in high school is cheating! Let’s accept that its reality and everyone opposing this view is in denial and pretty naïve. Some hide it well, maybe his women are provinces apart, hence business trips every 2 weeks. I’ve discovered nje that some women hold onto their dear men for life, even after he cheats a dozen time, low self-esteem issues shem, but men drop their women most cases they cheat on them. Weird how men enjoy sex with their nyatsi’s than their own wives. Hence wives are getting infected via hubby nge HIV ala Criselda Kananda. Ya neh
freckles on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 8:18 am
I hate it so much when women resort to the “we don’t need men to survive” line, its a yawn and over done, and who exactly are u trying to kid? Men do rule this world, they’re the kings and women shall always come secondary and shall NEVER be as powerful! Yes we women are more independent now than we were 50 years ago, but we’re no where near equalization with men. See that cash he aint spending on you “miss Indepedent”? Well he spending it on a woman who “needs” him. He just f*cking you nje, and goes back to f*ck his “dependent” girl who makes him FEEL manly! And that’s exactly what its about. Hence we got bitter 35 year old female CEO’s committing suicide because no man loves them. Aaga shem. Uzaba Strong nana yeva?
freckles on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 8:21 am
Ooh hayi shem BS, get another blog, this wordpress stuff is crappy. I’ve been commenting and commenting but nothing is reflecting
TheSushiQueen on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 8:27 am
I think men make excuses for terrible, hurtful and downright pathetic behaviour by justifying as that they are men… The only reason this has been allowed is because society is patriarchal and skewed towards favouring men… That is the only reason you are all allowed to be SUCH WEAK HUMAN BEINGS… and then you chastise and belittle other men who try to better… SMH.. the boy child will forever be lost if the real men dont stand up..
anyway – I agree with almost everything you have said. In the same breath, women lie just as bad and cheat just as bad.. So go on and be preoccupied with covering up your shit, cause that just means you’ll be too busy to actually notice what’s going on right under your nose… #AsYouWere..
DexterSUPERIOR on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 8:28 am
Babuze Leungo Winfrey!
DTutu on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 8:34 am
Its nothing to do with age when coming to cheating but such Theories just shows ur age.
Someone said something about Being Content,if you’re Contect chances of you cheating are slim cz ur focused and know what u want.
Kiki on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 8:36 am
Leungo good question. It’s exactly the same as those who stay in abusive relationships. For what?? I don’t know.
I REPEAT: A man can only treat you the way you allow him to. PERIOD!!!!!!
The problem i have with such articles is the Generalizing part. I said it on Ms Taboo’s article as well. Lets STOP generalizing. People are different. Not all men are dogs and not all women are stupid love struck animals.
snapshot on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 8:42 am
Tjo death by prince phunyuka bamphethe …
And women being called “you are just a steady supply of sex”
Shwem *sobs*
Vesa on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 8:43 am
@Kevcare….you are such a level headed man! I always look forward to your responses on articles like these.
There’s still a lot of good men out there, don’t be fooled by the generalisation on this article
prettylicious on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 8:46 am
This is sooo true yaaz. Men cheat . They love sex . I can’t even count hw many guys I have fallen inlove with but to my suprise they only wanted Sex . Cz after I have given to them they wld disappear. There ws a tym tht I thot I ws bewitched bt then jst becz I loved them I expected them to luv me back. Bt nw I’m engaged and my fiance loves me dearly bt that doesn’t mean he can’t be cheating bt as long as he respect me its fyn
TheSushiQueen on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 8:46 am
@Luengo… Its not that you’ve actually caught a man cheating red handed, but I always say a woman somehow knows her man is cheating and she is either in denial or just chooses to ignore it because everything else in the relationship is great and the benefits are enormous.. obviously this is coming from a very cynical place after being cheated on countless times by men before the one I have now. If I ever catch him red handed I believe I will leave him – I am not sure.. I honestly think that cheating is an addictive behaviour.. its thrilling and men love that thrill.. obviously some get over it..
It is unfortunate that a man will NEVER take back a cheating woman.. So that is why a woman has to be all James Bond about her shit – always stay two steps ahead.. But then again if you are with a man who cheats, like I said, he will be too preoccupied with hiding his shenanigans to notice what you as his woman are getting up to.. this is the balance right there.. LOL!
Pule on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 8:56 am
come on,ladies.
this article sounds like sarcasm to me.I don’t think it should be taken at face value.things are bad but obviously not this bad.If it was this bad all around, then some of us would be saints.
I ain’t no saint and i know loads of brothers around who are not as bad as this article depicts.
this article is just for laugs and should not be taken more serious than that.
MissAN on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 8:58 am
Bravo @ Fanapurp… so funny hle!!!! I will read the comments later…
Have a great day guys…
prettylicious on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 8:58 am
@ ladymillion its always lyk tht u know when a man loves u 101% yabora shem .and we endup feeling less than he does .bt jst becz he loves u more doesn’t mean he’s nt a cheat cz he probably broke some1′s heart before he met u
MissAN on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:01 am
@Pule…haai wena it is tough to assess what to make of points,ngoba you alternate between your two alter egos @ Pule and @Mbulela likewise with @JG and @Poshboy…
@sxylin is that you on the avatar? If it… I guess acquitances,colleauges,friends,family,etc that know you and read JC will know whats happening in your home?
RexonaABC on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:02 am
I am sorry, i think you are generalizing too much. Even some women do cheat, just that women are more careful I for one would not stay with a cheating niggar, he will cheat as long as i do not know, the minute i discover that he is cheating, i ll pack my bags I know the saying that it’s easier said than that, but for me cheating and be being beaten are two things that i will never tolerate even if someone is Motsepe’s son.
prettylicious on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:07 am
@ kev care I think man cheat irrespective of their age , most of the men don’t change . I hv an uncle who is 40 sumthing , he drinks a lot and sumtyms doesn’t come home . And I have another uncle he doesn’t drink , he’s a very nice guy and he loves his wife dearly and he neva sleep out unless he’s goin out bt still he cheats and he’s 40 sumthing . Ku tough nje
RexonaABC on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:09 am
@Kiki “I REPEAT: A man can only treat you the way you allow him to. PERIOD!!!!!!”
I get you sis, self love should come first. what’s the point being a relationship and end being even more lonely.
sexybehind on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:09 am
*yawn* Polygamist mentality. Aikho nje le. Umbhedo. Trying to convince women that men have been like this forever. Bakhona abantu a ba right. I can testify to that. Double yawn.
MissAN on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:10 am
@snapshot!!! Uphumamphi? been a while,yini you working late night shifts on legal carnal matters with Moegeng Moegeng…
Pule on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:13 am
*It is unfortunate that a man will NEVER take back a cheating woman*
Not true.a bit of a generalisation.
GA on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:14 am
Oh very well said Joneigh…or is it PoshBoy…Very well said, infact ima update my FB status with ur definition of ‘Logig’ and ‘Impulse’…
I read the article in bits and pieces and all I could think was….Lord we need MEN to rise and spearhead Men to Men discipleship campaigns, accountability relationships, etc….
The men I know, the men I hold dear…live by different philosophies (is it?) to this…and bcos I’ve seen them, I generaly believe there are ‘better guys’ than this, they may not be perfect, but they don’t do ill with impunity because…oh ‘its in their dna’.
DexterSUPERIOR on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:14 am
What a sensational piece. Clearly written for the sake of getting more hits. I find it hard to believe that a guy actually wrote this.
Monei on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:15 am
too lazy to type, but i like Leungo, Sushiqueen, kiki and Rexona’s comments.
ScarletChild on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:15 am
I have been inlove maybe 4 times. The broken heart, the pain, the tears! Screw that ish, no more.
Now,I’ve been single for 3yrs. I act like a man. Hook up with a guy, he’d say I love you after a couple of dates and I’d say I love you too – knowing very well that I dont. Have my wicked ways with him and dump his ass. He’d be like “WTF, that’s supposed to be my line!” Just offloaded some poor sod last friday after three weeks. Needed to rest my vibrator – tough times, batteries are expensive these days.
sexybehind on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:16 am
I’ve seen 3couples mina who never cheated on each other and are now married. What’s different ngabo vele? Are they idiots??! Asifani singabantu i guess. Yes i may not have always been there with them wherever they went but nje labantu labaya baya thandana. Some bajole from Primary school, abanye ama neighbours, the last couple bajole e high school. I’ve never heard stories ngabo nje.
Nonkuku on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:17 am
WOMEN!!!
There u go again feeding into ubulongo that these so called ‘men’ want u hear and accept as the way of life.
Mxm! Dnt sell urselves short asseblief
Pule on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:21 am
@MissAN but my points remain the same.
the two alter egos are just a product of administrative mix up.
I use one on my work laptop and the other on my personal notebook.had a bit of a mix up,so i created a second user name.
irrespective of the alter ego, my points remain the same.
amyoli on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:23 am
LMAO! im a lady and i enjoyed reading this, if anything its full of humour. anything else ill take with a pinch of salt
P.S ima follow you and expect that DM 
sweetness on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:24 am
Eish Fana u bhe nhloko ya mhaka straight, ndzi ku hluvulela xidloko…trnslt (You hit the spot, i take my hat off for you). Let me comment before I read the other comments.
Mina i have a simple dilema, and as exaggerated as this article is, I understand why my current partner is the way he is…
I have no proof, or sense of him cheating, but we have been having an on off kind of relationship for 2 years, and only now(4 months ago) i see a change in the way he treats me, the effort he puts in, the way he looks at me, and the simple compliments, they moved from “”sexy”" to “”beautiful”", he would rather spend time with me, go out with me(partying), road trip, adventure, we never used to do this, we would just meet at home. But honestly speaking I have never heard him say “I LOVE YOU”, it bothers me, because I want to hear it… I see it, I feel it. Is this his way not wanting to let go of his manhood??
I dont want to pressure him, so I have not said it yet, and I feel like its the missing ingredient in our relationship…
Eish I am being a girl… anyway, sorry for the mini essay…
Mapakisha on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:26 am
I agree with the person who says the writer is a young boy – probably in his early 20s. I don’t think a proper, real man thinks this way. Real men know what they want & they go for it, lil boys will lie, cheat & etc. Plus I don’t think a real Woman would carry on with a man like this, it’s only women that aren’t self sufficient/who’s self esteem is proper who’ll stay with a boy that tells her that a man will cheat no matter what.
Relo1609 on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:28 am
Loved this so much I referred a few of ma gals 2 it an interesting read
inURdreams on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:30 am
For all those opposing the motion that the writer is tabling, so kahle kahle where are stats to prove your points?and I mean this in the best possible way ever.(The numbers don’t lie mos and ‘yiphrase yala ekhaya’ leyo) With so many failed marriages, children born out of wedlock, hiv/aids rate,Side dishes/makwapheni and single parents Madoda..do you blame us for finding some truth in what the writer is saying?what I can draw from this is that there are 2 types of men those who cheat and those who lie about it(PERIOD SO CHOOSE 1)the rest fall into the cracks coz they represent such a small number(sorry we don’t have medals for them, but kuTough for wonke umtu so they must JBS)
Lustagp on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:32 am
i think Fana did mention somewhere tht the is a difference between man and boys, he even said you can find a 50 year old boy so i really dont get these comments refering to how old is Fana.
Fana you are the man, let them Rant and deny all they want wena you wrote the letter so let them try to be God and recreate man.
Yes Majority of man live like this but not as cruel as this letter suggest,,,lol love the part of Korobela!!
Chase on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:39 am
2 da guys who have outgrown cheating and r now matured & emotinal men, can u plz confirm da ff:
how many women have u cheated with when u were immatured &
how many women have u cheated with after being matured?
2 da married guys, how many times have u cheated?
being loving, caring, respectful, spending a weekend with u, calling u beautiful instead of sexy should not be equated to being a faithful man, ask me i do all of above just 2 ease my guilty consience.
sweetness on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:44 am
@Lustago I think as JC people, we like to criticize before we actually sit down think about it, or read an article twice…
But then again we are all entitled to our own opinions, naiveness to certain topics…
Mina personally i think this article is a bit exaggerated, but on point, it addresses the issues and his point very well. I fully concur!!!
Magsiwe on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:45 am
WOW..@Leungo you took the words right out off my mouth >>> “why must you settle for a man whore whereas man always steer clear of female whores?”
itjo..*clap once*
TheAngel on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:46 am
BULLSHIT
Mapakisha on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:46 am
I say, go on & cheat – hope you catch herpes or ghornorea(sp) or whatever dreadful disease there is out there. WTF kinda man wants to live like this?
sweetness on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:48 am
@ Chase, I know that, i am not saying he oesnt or capable of that, all I am saying is it makes a whole lot of a difference, from where we come from in the relationship.
There are matured man, christian, who truly love, respect, and would o anything for their wives… but still cheat, i have proof of that… I also dont believe you completely stop cheating, you just kind off not do it for a while, or long time… its inevitable… well thats just me…
Lustagp on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:51 am
Chase…..lol!!
Sweetness…being in denila but people have brokne hearts, this article should be kept close to heart so tht woman can ease up on this emotional balckmail against man! Dont blame me for your own assumptions even in the weeding vows the is no line against cheating!
ScarletChild on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 10:03 am
@Lustagp, the line about faithfulness?? Doesnt it refer to cheating?
GA on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 10:05 am
High Fives @ Leungo…
I bless the Lord for the MEN that are in my life, who have crossed my path…I know there are better male species and the sad ‘status quo’ described which I agree happens, I do not settle for.
On men and their superiority Complex. I always say this, that in as much as I believe in the men in my circle, and my partner in crime, should anything that doesn’t sit well with me happen, Jo I always welcome the idea of flying solo…..GLADLY. The idea gets me excited. I will not be in any set up that makes me sad when I know how good it is to be by myself. Ga ke rapeletse boroko ka go budulala.
Pule on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 10:07 am
The day i accept that cheating is inevitable for a man would be the end of me.
I can’t even fathom such a miserable life.
sweetness on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 10:15 am
aaargh, people just never want o face the truth qha!!! What messed up most of us is the fairytales, they dont tell you what happened after “they lived happily ever after”, Mina I am a woman, and I jut decided to keep it wrapped, and enjoy being loved, the only thing I cant stand is being disrespected. I never go looking for things, if i find out, great, i will decide what i want to do with the information.
We set ourselves up for disappointment’s by thinking it will change, and yes will keep man hopping… Its just sad with all the diseases out there people are still irresponsible in their sexual behavior.
to all the woman who say it BS, goodluck on finding an non-lying, non cheating hubby… they are there, and i am fully open and really wish i find such, i will not settle foe less, as long as he gives me no reason to doubt, and I am happy and comfortable with the realtionship
Lustagp on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 10:15 am
Scarlet unfortunatelly faith can refer to being faithfull to our God, our love, etc if my wife is hoping for tht kind of faith frm she will be broken hearted as i am human shame!
Special Kay on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 10:21 am
A lot of ppl seem 2 equate cheating with being a bad partner. Meaning if he cheats then he will ignore your call, will not be loving etc etc etc. But in most cases dat is not the case. So I don’t get why ppl keep saying their partners treat them well cos dat aint got nothing to do with cheating. Great guys cheat and dat is reality. And yes not all men cheat of cos
Avumile on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 10:22 am
there are good men out there. i refuse to believe ukuthi they are all the same. men are humans, they are not animals. so they can control themselves. not all men cheat. if u caught the one im with cheating, id leave. for good. life really is too short to settle. il search high n low for worthy man. i am a damn good woman. and i deserve a damn good man. no compromise.
Zeeh on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 10:27 am
Serious bullshit!!
faith on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 10:33 am
this article is very true, I see nothing exagerated in it, too general yes but MAN CHEAT irrespective of race, financial status or job position MAN CHEAT. My aunt was married to umfundisi and he was a family man allowed my aunt to take care of everything even his finances while he had his side dish at the church he and my aunt go to so I don’t care what all of you say man cheat for different reasons but the bottom line is that they cheat whether we like it on not they do BUT not all of them cheat if your man doesn’t cheat hold on to him as he is just the 2% in society that doesn’t cheat. I go to Mzoli’s and Pisto,s almost every weekend and every weekend I see married people with money and some with just enough money to be able to buy his side dish alcohol and then they go sleep and it’s old people men in their 40′s so Fana’s age is not the question here and all of you who are bothered with this article are just trying to fond a way of convincing your selves that this ain’t true but it is.
GA on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 10:42 am
Well…Bless You @Pule.
“The only reason this has been allowed is because society is patriarchal and skewed towards favouring men… That is the only reason you are all allowed to be SUCH WEAK HUMAN BEINGS… and then you chastise and belittle other men who try to better… SMH.. the boy child will forever be lost if the real men don’t stand up….” Hm, very sadly real. But being the eternal optimist I am, I trust there is one decent man out there who will reach out to one lost and broken boy and make a positive difference in his life…one man, one boy at a time, and society will Never be rid of good people who are the moral fibre of our seemngly hopeless society who, although they are unseen, they are the reason the world Stands.
Speaking of good unseen people that papers don’t report about etc…someone mentioned, ‘numbers don’t lie, the proof is here mo JC’. Well, here is something I’ve noticed; people with positive stories usualy don’t share them, or are not given the opportunity to share them, and are often not even listened to when they share the good news. Just because JC is froth with tearjeckers of life stories, it doesn’t mean there aren’t people silent with their positive stories, even Jahara said, she has many positive, ‘roses and daisies’ stories she can tell, she just chose to share about the painfull ones etc etc…JC numbers, are not representative.
lynx on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 10:51 am
120% Agree with this article…nice writen, hilarious..thank you I enjoyed it so much.
Men are adventurous, and they get bored very easily.they constantly need to be stimulated therefore they resort to cheating, mainly because ur nunu is not the same as the other chicks(NB:there is nothing wrong with it), ur conversation might have become redundant/predictable so brotha man needs something a little different from your broken record about whateva u’re yapping about.or maybe he just has to do it out of habbit
oh do they lie?? so irritating
I think not long people will be in open relationships, polygamy marriages or whatever that will offer openness, because most women are so obsessed with HONESTY.. and if you opt for these options u’d be surprised of the outcome..I wont lie I have been thinking about them myself..
Chase on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 10:54 am
im a man who eveybody, ie family members, colleagues, the community & women refer to as “the perfect, honest, faithful & God-fearing man but on da contrary i’m what fana has described above and nobody except me and my close friend konw about this.
my friends girlfriends & wives are always more than willing 2 allow their partners to go anywhere as long as i’m around bcos they knw me as ths straight up guy, hehehehe.
accept o deny fana’s views and lie to yourself about how perfect ur man is, chances are im your man.
iamout on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 10:58 am
Whats this obsession with women and cheating men, man will cheat and i as a woman will cheat. In fact i don’t see how having sex with who i choose is cheating, i’ll be cheating myself if i did not. Lets stop equating sex with love. Now don’t go out there and have reckless sex be smart about it you are a lady after all.
freckles on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 11:09 am
Obviously some bloggers think they’ve got it all figured out when they don’t! Men are Cheats, period. Sugar coat it, pretty it up, as much as you’d like but trust me woman, your man is releasing elsewhere. Maybe even has a whole other family you don’t even know about. Statistically, there’s more women than men so women will open up “pun intended” to your man and you’ll end up playing step-mom to kids younger than urs that your man fathered.
sweetness on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 11:16 am
KIKIKIKI Chase you are the future!!!
freckles on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 11:17 am
Obviously some bloggers think they’ve got it all figured out when they don’t! Men are Cheats, period. Sugar coat it, pretty it up, as much as you’d like but trust me woman, your man is releasing elsewhere. Maybe even has a whole other family you don’t know about. Statistically, there’s more women than men so women will open up “pun intended” to your man and you’ll end up playing step-mom to kids younger than urs that your man fathered. And don’t get it twisted, men love whores! They even marry them
freckles on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 11:19 am
Obviously some bloggers think they’ve got it all figured out when they don’t! Men are Cheats, period. Sugar coat it, pretty it up, as much as you’d like but trust me woman, your man is releasing elsewhere. Maybe even has a whole other family you don’t even know about. Statistically, there’s more women than men so women will open up “pun intended” to your man and you’ll end up playing step-mom to kids younger than urs that your man fathered. Oh and don’t get it twisted, men love whores, they even marry them
Lustagp on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 11:20 am
”Women will always need a reason for sex while we men we just need a place”…a qoute frm a silly frm of mine!
MissAN on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 11:21 am
Long time ago when I was young,I was so defiant about that I will leave a man that cheats,etc and I had my heart broken by a guy that cheated and as luck would have it,I managed to hook up with a guy that is great in all the senses of the word and 5 years later we still got it down and yeah,there are problems that arise now and then but never about third wheels…Then you read stories on JC about people whose husbands have cheated,about women with kids with married men,married men with amaside dish that range from men to women,gays that have affairs with married men,married women that are having fun with other women,married women that are cheating on their husbands,bo @Alexis and her married Dr stories,boyfriends that do A,B or C…and honestly I think,as much as I know there are still good men *and women* reality is we live in a world where cheating has almost become normal,there is nothing wrong and against my wishes I think I concede defeat and I am almost reluctant to admit that it is the nature of men to cheat and all I ask nje,is that which ever man I will marry he will make me Number One and keep it strapped up…
@Luengelo…great questions…Kodwa…
Mapakisha on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 11:22 am
Then I guess living a double life is “the future”…
MissAN on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 11:24 am
LOL @ Lustagp…
Here is an email someone sent me…
1. Most Men cannot have sex exclusively with just one woman, for the rest of their lives.
2.Men are created with varied sexual appettite, some men can do without sex for a year, others cannot do without sex for a week.
3.A man who’s madly in love with one woman can still have sex with other women but still love his ‘woman’.
4.Some of the best husbands have concubines or mistresses, these extra marital affairs play a role in keeping the man sane and free of sexual tensions, especially during mid-life crises.
5.If your man is just having sex with some sweet sexy teen or babe, DO NOT WORRY. But, if your man starts making midnight calls and exchanging text messages with another lady at odd hours, BE VERY WORRIED.
6.Before you choose your man, ensure he believes in AIDs, STDs and protected sex. That way, chances are that he will not bring HIV and other STDs into your life.
7. Most chronic wife beaters are faithful husbands, they hardly have extramarital affairs.
8. Most ‘extra’ loving husbands have concubines, these concubines keep the man abreast on new ways of making women happy.
9.Your man’s mistress or concubine is most times not interested in you or your home. She has already seen your pictures and those of your kids via your hubby’s phone. She and your hubby just have a sexual understanding or partnership which helps both deal with peculiar individual issues.
10. As a woman, if you go all out in a bid to catch your husband red-handed cheating, you WILL succeed. Then what next? If u listen hard to your domestic servants in their private discussions, u will certainly hear them insult you, so why listen?
11. Judge your man by his responsibilities towards you and the kids, and NOT by who he’s giving ‘doggie style’ to in the office.
So in essence, don’t even begin to bother about competition. Focus on the game & price. He won’t leave you except you want him to!
MissAN on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 11:26 am
Ngoba la ekhaya nithanda iStats…All and Most are two different things…So you can’t say ‘GENERALISING’
Adzasma on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 11:28 am
Yes, it has a vague truth, shallow in the sense that its quite contradictory as well. Its also repetitive of all male stance arguments I’ve heard of have been hearing, he’s not coming up with anything new or interesting, he’s just looking for attention and pretending as if what he has to say has some new revelation and profound truth.
Its also sad because he undermines men. Its funny because I hardly ever find pieces that speak about the real nature of a woman, which everyone assumes its the maternal, being in love like a deer caught in the head lights syndrome. Men have this perception that just because we don’t act on our nature, therefore we are the cursed other half that is always hoping, always loving and waiting for Mr. Right, little do you know!
Being the better half, and judging by what I’ve been hearing and seeing, clearly the more evolved form, women have chosen to be what they are, yet fully capable on in acting as what has been described as “our nature” by the ever full of excuses men!
Its undermining because God created men as HIS physical manifestation from spirit to flesh, a woman as his helper. By claiming that all you are about is getting laid and getting paid is degrading the true and fulfilled state of being a man which is the head, not the tale, the master, visionary, leader, wise manifestation, which loves, provides, protects and honors God and his family in all he does.
Its sad that men have accepted such a shallow and defeated state of being irresponsible, whom are afraid of their own feelings and degrade the same women that God had wanted loved and protected.
There is so much more that I could elaborate on but it would be futile, especially because its seems that men are lagging not in years but centuries behind in understanding how and why God created them, and repositioning themselves by familiarizing themselves with the fulfillment of the word. Untill then we’ll keep bumping into pathetic and shallow driven pieces such as these.
Its also sad because he undermines men. Its funny because I hardly ever find pieces that speak about the real nature of a woman, which everyone assumes its the maternal, being in love like a deer caught in the head lights syndrome. Men have this perception that just because we don’t act on our nature, therefore we are the cursed other half that is always hoping, always loving and waiting for Mr. Right, little do you know!
Being the better half, and judging by what I’ve been hearing and seeing, clearly the more evolved form, women have chosen to be what they are, yet fully capable on in acting as what has been described as “our nature” by the ever full of excuses men!
By:Cindy
Lela on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 11:30 am
It’s amazing how it’s always the women who will put up with the most shit who always act like they got it all together.
Men cheat wethu and ke we stay because we love them and becuase we don’t have cakes to share with the whole of Joburg,koba nini utshintsha amadoda? as someone said there are very few men who do not cheat.
Since I came to Jozi I’ve been dating this guy and I must say he is everything that you can ask for in a man, gifts,breakfasts,deserts,walking hand in hand always affectionate. He is the kind that not even my best friend believes me when I say we have problems and in the five years that we’ve been together and even have a child together nothing has ever changed in the way he treats me, still buys gifts,still touches me everytime he is sitting next to me,still walk hand in hand, still makes me believe I’m his queen but guess what, he is also the man who has a rat that steals his condom, should I now go dump him because of a rat that stole his condom? hayi I don’t have that energy shem as long as I haven’t seen the rat and chances are even when I see the rat I’d probably kick it’s ass instead of dumpig the man.
My point is, it is just not realistic to dump a man because you suspect he is cheating and the thing is you never really have proof even though you know for sure.
Disclamer: Ndizawuphoxa umtu oke wazama uzenza ishrink apha kum ndina 29 so I’m old enough to know what works for me!
sxylin on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 11:30 am
Yho @Chase ! But doesn’t it bother you that people have this image of you and its all wrong?
GA on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 11:34 am
Well, Bless you Pule
“The only reason this has been allowed is because society is patriarchal and skewed towards favouring men… That is the only reason you are all allowed to be SUCH WEAK HUMAN BEINGS… and then you chastise and belittle other men who try to better… SMH.. the boy child will forever be lost if the real men don’t stand up..” Sad..but true, but not hopeless. The good Men, will, must and do reach out to some lost young ones. So that Society will never be rid of its moral fibre ie…the good people whose stories are never told, here on JC and and elsewhere…
MissAn…I know that the positive stories aren’t popular here, hence Jahara related mostly the sad stories in her life even though she confessed there are some good stories to tell…but everytime u give a snippit about yo man, I wanna hear more…5 yrs you say…awesum. Its a story I’m most fascinated in of all, but chances are misery will be nauseated should you dare share indepth if you were the kind to…so I pray you all the best continuously.
MissAN on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 11:35 am
@ Lela…tltltlt @ refusing councelling…But that is what me and my friends were discussing,ukuthi until when do you stop dating,each and every guy you date,cheats and you dump him,move on to the next and they cheat…ende amdoda ayagugisana toe…
I wish things were simpler…
Diva on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 11:39 am
Wow so trues but damn did you have to be soo brutal about it..Yho.
MissAN on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 11:41 am
@ Adzasama… WOW!!!
@GA…as you might have noticed,I hardly say much about my personal life and in real life I am like that,unless its close friends…We can only hope it is written in the ST*RS…My bebe is the best,everything I have always wanted in a man and yeah,I can be crazy and irrational at times but he gets me and I get him…I hope I won’t be commenting 6 months later and just spilling my guts on yet,another illusion a man had fed a woman for so long… *Cues Precious Love Eryka and D’Angelo*
Mapakisha on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 11:43 am
@Adzasma/Cindy, properly said..
lorrelai on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 11:48 am
Mnxim, inde and igcwele kuphela umbhedo onobhalwa kuphela ngumhedeni. Yeah I said it nam.
wooza on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 11:50 am
u ta twa ku vava”u’ll feel the damn pain
wooza on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 11:54 am
U’ll hav to follow us back.twitter
DrDee on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 11:55 am
Since the men in the JC house have different opinions on the article it means the jury is divided.So some men cheat and others don’t.For all the guys who agree that some men don’t cheat,thank you.You give girls hope.
GA on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:00 pm
I getcha MissAN, that lil need to share I quench here mo JC ganyane…u know when the narcissism virus strikes. Lol. Otherwise, my friends know as much as they see. Infact should tragedy strike at home, ill come shed a lil tear mo JC and that’ll be sufficient…I think lol.
sexybehind on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:01 pm
guys this is scary yazi. so does this mean that men like ‘Shona Ferguson, Patrice Motsepe and Lesley Sedibe also fall in this category.people like abo Lucas Gadebe? phela i look up to these men, abo Sisa Henna nabo Zam Nkosi. AIKE i give up on Love. i thought men were different but seeing that most JC bloggers agree, i guess i am the naive the one. kunzima emhlabeni ke.:(. ngizo hlala ngi single then. i was inspired by abo Melody Motha getting married as well so hai if this is the entire truth, ngiyasaba mna ke!
faith on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:01 pm
lol @Lela’s disclaimer, we all have our own preferences and what works for me might not work for you but as long as I’m satisfied with what I have I’m good.
Lustagp on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:08 pm
i hate topics tht bend to religion yhazi. I was created by my parents when they had sex and this God this nd tht when we suppose to behave is irritating kum Cindy but will have to respect your opinion.
God is supposedly a spirit right? so why would you want me to behave or live like a spirit while i am human…?
TheAngel on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:15 pm
I’m very ashamed on behalf of all of you women who are OK? (O-o) with your cheating dogs! Sies, you have too low self-esteems. You probably deserve those stinking cheating dogs of yours because you’re also b!tches! La ntena. As long as he holds your hand in public? Really? WOW!
Pule on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:17 pm
@MissAN,to number 6 above, dating a young and single Thabo Mbeki is wrong? What a wste of intelligence!!
number 8 is a pathetic excuse.I wish i could believe it.infact,i am glad i don’t believe it.
Number 3 is mostly true but i have seen exceptions to that rule.
Number 10 is very very true!!
I don’t agree with number 11. It is pathetic.I want my woman to judge me by all my actions.sexual or otherwise.Same way i will judge her.I don’t expect her to find a saint but i will be disappointed if she sets such low standards as number 11 for me.
@Adsazma, read my post above.i consider this post nothing but satire.taking it more serious than that is mind boggling.
Ms.Zie on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:20 pm
Excuses. Excuses. Excuse. Hhay’suka. Ditto Luengo/ Kiki/ Joneigh! Well said!
DrDee on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:20 pm
I can confidently say I know of a man who is 100% faithful and has been for the last 10 years.My brother in law.Only reason he had his 3rd leg removed due to some very rare illness.#truestoryhere.No @Jaharatendencies.
sxylin on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:26 pm
LoL @ Lela’s disclaimer ; mna I still believe there are good men yazi who don’t cheat on their spouses; Like Sisa Henna shame bless him Bonisile is lucky! But ke cheating for me I think is circumstancial; u get man that found their deep relationship with God and are content with their relationship with their spouse and children(that doesn’t mean it stays that way)
Like Lela said her relationship works for her; and then you get men that cheat because nje he is greedy and then you get men that get themselves deeply emotionally involved outside their relationships!
Pule on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:30 pm
so does this mean that men like ‘Shona Ferguson, Patrice Motsepe and Lesley Sedibe also fall in this category.
@sexybehind, how can you look up to men you barely know?Do you believe everything you read in the media?Don’t be so gullible (with all respect).These men may be worse than the bloggers here.
TheeGorgeous1 on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:34 pm
I think you all need to stop ka bo naive,just because you haven’t heard of those men cheating-sisa henna,lucas radebe..etc
DOES NT mean they are NT
Lela on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:35 pm
sxylin believe me I know Pastors, Prophets, Bishops, Evangelists and men of God in general who cheat like there is no tomorrow but they are happy with their families amadoda ayacheata nje qha we can pretend we don’t know or that we can dump them but it’s never that easy. Futhi ke thina siyabahleka ngoba aba bathetha kakhulu ngaba siwabonayo amadoda abo echeata apha phambi kwethu. I had a cousin who would go on and on about ba indoda yakhe soze icheate yabe icheata with a girl I know and ndizithulele ke mna ubhuti efast nentombi but the girl knew that my cousin was the main girlfriend. When she found out she confronted me ba why didn’t tell her yho zange ndimphoxe kanje! ndithi wawungatshongo ba eyakho indoda yingelosi?
Lela on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:40 pm
Mna my policy is, I will never dump a man because he cheated or I suspect he cheats, I will dump him when he starts disrespecting me like doing it in a way that he doesn’t care if I find out. I will dump a man because of our problems nje, there are ebigger problems in relationships than rats that steal condoms.
On the men who don’t cheat listed above, ngizwa bathi omunye wabo aknqabanga pha e UJ.
Vesa on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:48 pm
there are ebigger problems in relationships than rats that steal condoms.
Kwaaaaaa!!!! Lela you kill me dead!
Chase on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:51 pm
All men I have met in my whole life have one thing in common – they are cheats, whether married o not, rich o poor, short o tall etc
Except ths one born again dude i once shared a place with, ths dude is a devoted christian, he has more 5 bibles in different versions, he was always in churh, hell he even turned my house into da home cell, everything 2 him was about jesus, you having a conversation with him the nxt thing he’s speaking in toungues, i remember whn it was his 21st birthday he prouldy told the tent full of people that he’s still a virgin and will remanin so till he gets married and the whole night we were listening to ama Hillsongs, Joyous Celebratios etc.
1 night at about 1h00 in the morning i went to the bathroom, his bedroom door was slight open and the light was still on so i sneaked in to my suprise to find him masturbating so ja he was cheating with himself.
Lustagp on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:54 pm
kwaaaaaaaaa Chase…next thing he is going to rape innocent kids!
LadyM on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:57 pm
deathby lorrelai!! kwaaaaaaaaaaa
DrDee on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:58 pm
I think we need to redine the rules.Everyone male or female or inbetween should be allowed to sleep with whoever,whenever.Whether married or not so that the word cheating can be abolished.
Lela on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 12:58 pm
Kwaaaaaaaaaaaa @cheating with himself!
sexybehind on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 1:01 pm
safa ngokuba ‘gullible’ yes i did look up to them because they always look like they have it all, you know what i mean. maybe it’s cause they keep their records clean ke, with no traces. so please shoot me. by the way i still do noma ngi naive or what what. that’s why i asked. mina bengizibuzela thixho, le ska nkomanya tuu.
Mrs_Marv on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 1:03 pm
this article is all over the place
Beautiful lier on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 1:10 pm
Kwaaaaaaaaa Chase
Pule on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 1:11 pm
@Lusta, that is so not funny!!!
@Chase, i always wonder why virginity at 21 is something to be announced and celebrated.some of us kept it zipped up for so much longer and did not self service.
Chase on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 1:15 pm
evrytime i’m about 2 cheat i recite the following silently: lord i dont deserve wht u’ve given me but u never took it from me bcos i’m grateful and i use it.
folksister on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 1:20 pm
@Missan.I think the contents of that email, misinform people, when it comes to protected sex,the fact is some sti’s can be transmitted with a condom on.For instances herpes can be passed on even when there is a condom.So peole can carry on cheating with a condom but know, some sti you cannot escape, and things like herpes cannot be cured.
Lustagp on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 1:20 pm
Pule i also dont find it funny i ‘kwaaad’ at the masturbating part, man i can never joke with rape even if its kids-i am a father! my point is most man who act as if they dont want relationships with females end up raping innocent kids and woman!
TheAngel on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 1:20 pm
I’m very ashamed on behalf of all of you women who are OK? (O-o) with your cheating dogs! Sies, you have too low self-esteems. You probably deserve those stinking cheating dogs of yours because you’re also b!tches! La ntena. As long as he holds your hand in public? Really? WOW!!
iPad on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 1:25 pm
yho i just had 2come out of silentville bcoz of @Chase “1 night at about 1h00 in the morning i went to the bathroom, his bedroom door was slight open and the light was still on so i sneaked in to my suprise to find him masturbating so ja he was cheating with himself” *dead*
hot.chocolate on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 1:27 pm
I think after reading all the comments here especially from all the men who openly admit to cheating, I can now fully understand and accept the cheating will never go away. Yes, my man also cheats and the only reason I know this is becoz I used to go digging 4 proof. I also cheated on him n got tired of hiding it…fck, the man was cheating too moss. He found out, forgave me and is trying so hard to prove to me that he’s not cheating (bull). Fact if men will always cheat and it’s up to us ladies to accept this or not. If he does it openly infront of me, then hell yeah I’ll leave him. I’m just surprised that he still respects me after he found out that I cheated on him and he told me that I hurt him deeply. Eish amadoda maar nawo. Ni complicated too much maan nani!!!
Pule on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 1:28 pm
@chase, you are a nut case.
I am out of here.
bloggers have a good afternoon.
see you all on Thursday.
hot.chocolate on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 1:31 pm
My brother just told me this morning that a perfect man does not exist and that if you have a good, loving man/partner who’s not perfect, try to fix your problems. Don’t go looking for the perfect man. So I suppose I should just be grateful that my man does not do his things infornt of me. actually come to think of it if I could just stop digging then I would even be convinced that he’s not cheating, cos he doesn’t do anything suspicious, it’s just a trust issue I need to address from my side.
Leungo on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 1:40 pm
@Lela, what do you mean when you say a rat steals your man’s condom?
lynx on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 1:40 pm
kwaaaaaaaaaaaaa @Chase
Lela on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 1:56 pm
Hayibo Leungo shouldn’t you rather ask the writer of the article because he is the one who speoke about rats that steal condoms?
KewlGal on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 2:03 pm
Until most of us realise and understand that we live in a world where our behavioral system has been influenced and controlled by white supremacy system which its purpose is to destroy every sphere of our behaviour, then we will understand why we are faced with problems that we have now. This was planned and implimented a long time ago and we are a generation that has inherited a wrong perception about who we are and how we behave as a people. The destruction of how black families lived and related towards each other as man & woman back in the day had to be totally eradicated as it was the only way that made sure that we as African ppl were able to survive and build strong families that led to strong communities and with that way there was no way the western system could have control over us. Divisions amongst men & women had to be created, competition amongst the two had to be encouraged, the way of thinking amongst the people was made in such that we must not trust each other.
Unfortunately because Black men have the potential of genetical annihilating the white race, they have been the target of destruction from the inception of white supremacy system. The system has designed many ways where it frustrate the man, one of those is taking away his manhood which is that of providing & protecting his family and it has given that power to us women. And because of that we now say statements like ‘Girls doing it for themselves’ Girl Power’ etc etc. Why are we leaving our men behind when we do things for ourselves? why Girl power instead of Girl & Boy Power? why separate the two? This is another way of continuing to make the division amongst men & women cos at the end, we women end up saying things like ‘I dont need a man anyway I can do things by myself and for myself’ leaving the man feeling helpless & less of a man in the process. This is exactly where the system wants men to be especially black men, helpless and feeling less of man.
Another well plotted and executed scam by the white supremacy system was that of making us look at our own ways of living as barbaric, heathen, pagan, backwards and all sorts of negative connotation u can think of. This destroyed a lot in our mental behavioral system as a people as a result we view the western way of living as the ultimate and only way to conduct ourselves. Forgetting that way back before any outside west influence African ppl had their ideologies which made them to build strong nations that were binded together by LOVE as the basis of life.
Until all of us realise that with these behaviours of continuing to disrepect ourselves and those close to us which we portray, we are also contributing to the destrucion of ourselves as a people.
Until we realise that we need to respect each other the way our old African foreparents did and start to think in terms of building strong families that uphold the importance of family structure for the benefit of our nation, until then, we are still going to point fingers at each other without coming up with the solutions.
Today we let things like TV, magazines, radio shows etc etc define the way of living for us.
We need to be patriotic about supporting each other as women & men and not just tell each other that this is how it is deal with it. NO its not how it is, its how its was made for you so that you dont go anywhere, so that you dont rise to being the great person that you can be. It has been done to inferiorize your functioning so that you can always think that is how you are or have been from creation. Its a lie, African men you are not born cheaters, you have been misled and you need to undo the damage done to you, go back to find out how does a Black African man treats his family. Stop allowing ppl to tell you that you only think about Sex, NO you dont, you are much better than that. Stop it now please & Rise up young Lions take control of ur future maan.
I know i didn’t include white man here who also cheat but for me its about my black brothers whom i love dearly, so dont bite my head off.
I hope some people will get what i’m saying over here cos some will think that i’m giving an excuse for our man’s behaviour.
{sorry for a blog within a blog}
DrDee on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 2:04 pm
If more women learnt to quietly cheat on their cheating hubbies,there would be less broken marriages and relationships.
LadyM on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 2:21 pm
@DrDee so u are saying fighting fire with fire is ok?
DrDee on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 2:28 pm
@LadyM yes dear.Why sit around and cry when we women know that men are never going to stop cheating.And if you have ur own distraction the less you will focus on his cheating.
DrDee on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 2:32 pm
@LadyM yes that’s what I am saying.As women we have been putting out mens fires for too long.Now let’s fight right back.Ask @lusta his sidedish showed him how its done.
Leungo on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 2:33 pm
Enough with the race card KewGal, botekatse ke botekatse. If you want to make excuses for black cheating men, go ahead mara leave race out of it.
I guess Steve Hofmeyer, Joos vd Wethuizen, Theunis Crous etc also behave the way do cos they were emasculated by the white supremacy? I know it’s your opinion mara that does not make it right bcos you are holding whites to a pedestal.
I guess we have apartheid to blame for your way of thinking. Enough with inferiority complex tuu, being black does not mean one is predisposed to cheating.
KevCare on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 2:34 pm
Women: Do you know of any guy…..ONE guy…just ONE (whether he’s cheating or not) who caught his girl/wife cheating ONCE and still stayed in the relationship??
……………….Take your time….think hard, think waAay back to high school even………
Ultimately you alone set your own standards.
Personally, as far as i know, NO MAN (generalisation) will EVER take back a wife/girlfriend who he KNOWS cheated on him! A man WILL BE DAMN if his girl was turned into “just another nut” and he still walks in the mall with her hand-in-hand and cook for her. Nna NEVER!!
You women accept it once…then again….then again….then it becomes STANDARD! @Leungo said it well, r u waiting to get sick then cry ekare lefatshe le o shapile kanti you made your decisions and used watever criteria to justify them.
KewlGal on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 2:37 pm
yep i was waiting for the race card bashment.. hehehehehehe
i knew some people wont get what i’m saying its orite maybe a few will that’s fine with me…
KewlGal on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 2:41 pm
all the feminists in the house are also gonna go down on me like tons of bricks, i will fully understand as well. tltltltltl
Vesa on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 2:42 pm
If more women learnt to quietly cheat on their cheating hubbies,there would be less broken marriages and relationships.
I once did this yazi! The man was sooo broken…he couldn’t believe that innocent ME had done this to him. And to think he only found out after I ditched the other man.
And we women are very good at hiding this! I cheated for almost 6 months without him suspecting a thing. The only problem was that the other man wanted to be the main man and was becoming a problem.
Many times men think we can’t cheat, but we merely choose not to because it involves a lot of unnecessary admin. You have to keep lying, make your lies believable and always have to remember what you said to whom
Vesa on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 2:45 pm
Women: Do you know of any guy…..ONE guy…just ONE (whether he’s cheating or not) who caught his girl/wife cheating ONCE and still stayed in the relationship??
Yes, I’m one of those women who was caught cheating and the guy begged me not to lahla him. He was blaming himself and even telling me that he’s the one that pushed me to cheating because of all the things he did to me!
KewlGal on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 2:50 pm
Just to hammer the nail some more, the white supremacy system controls everything, ur economics, education, entertainment, labour, law, politics, war, religion and sex, yes it tells you how to have sex.. and now @Luengo u gon tell me that this is not about race. Everything is about race dadethu, i mean everything…
DrDee on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 2:51 pm
Good for you @Vesa.You know how to play the game.
LadyM on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 2:51 pm
@Dr Dee, i still dont think it stops the problem.
@Luengo- I ask myself the same question. why do women stay when they find their men cheating?
I know gore ba re never say never mara nna kere NEVER! No man will disrespect me like that! yes it all boils down to disrespect. and as I said in “anything goes”, with regards to married men cheating, i’ll say it again- shouldnt your vows be enough to keep your 3rd leg tied? Maybe i’m naive nje ngo @sexybehind mara i really believe gore if u are man enough to marry, then be man enough not to cheat.
@sexybehind you killed me this morning! LOL! You cant base ur future relationship status on celebrities, or any other person for that matter.
Mapakisha on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 2:51 pm
@Kev, i know ONE guy who was cheated on & still took the girl back. How he found out was when he hadn’t been feeling well down’ner & his dr told him he had an STI. I asked him why he’d take her back & he simply said he needed her, am not sure for what but I was like WTF?! How u gonna be a man & take your cheating gal back?
He’s the only guy I know btw!
KewlGal on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 2:51 pm
two wrongs never made anything right #justsaying
KewlGal on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 2:54 pm
hahahahahaha Hay DrDee subhanxa omny’umntana… hehehe bathong
Lustagp on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 2:58 pm
Kewgal…where was this white supremacy when our fore fathers were marrying 20 wives and was normal?
Chase on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 2:59 pm
@Vesa, ur man is isishimane bcos any sane man will never stay with u after catching u cheating unless sewumshaye nge knorrox ne aromat and other spices but ke leyo akuseyiyo indoda isiyoyoyo nje into elenga izindende.
Kiki on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 2:59 pm
@KevCare,I have a cousin whose wife has been cheating on him for as long I can remember. We all know about it in the family hence the adults are saying she is using muti on him. This woman even fell pregnant by another man and went and aborted (screaming miscarriage) when the family told her we will demand a partenity test when the baby is born. That was after her own little sister told umamkhulu that ‘the sister’ has been cheating on my cousin and she knows that the child is not his. She even hired guys to kill him so that she can claim all the policies. She failed to get him killed because if God hasn’t said ‘come home my child’ then awuyindawo. The ‘contract killers’ left him laying in a pool of blood thinking he was dead kanti cha. He survived. When in hospital,guess who was in charge of the visitors’ list? Yes the one and only master mind behind the failed murder nton nton, acting all innocent and caring. Crying that she doesn’t trust people visiting her husband coz they want him dead. One of the hired guys went to confess to my cousin and apologised. He then called a family meeting told us everything,helped him open a case then 2days later he dropped the charges behind our backs. Guess what? He is back with that woman and they have a second child now. His mother doesn’t even talk to him anymore because of that woman. He was given a choise to choose between the family and that woman and he chose that woman. And we are still hearing stories about her cheating tendencies at her work place. Apparently sometimes she sleeps out and that poor cousin of mine is always left baby sitting. Ku tough!!!!
teetee-mee on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 3:03 pm
Enough have been said about this issue of cheating really. To me this will always be a debatable issue even for generations to come, so i really respect all your opinions about this, but honestly now, can one man stand upand say that he has never cheated before, not ever in his life??? You can yall justify it by saying you all matured and all that but the fact remains that you have cheated before,so don’t act all innocent and always been a devoted kind of a man!! Hence for me its true that all man cheat,if not all.
KewlGal on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 3:08 pm
@Lusta maybe we should ask, Why were our fore fathers marrying 100 wives instead, and while at it try to find out why the women then did not have a problem if they did not..
Leungo on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 3:17 pm
Ha ha ha KevCare, o bua nnete. Some women don’t mind being humilated waitse.
I remeber when my older brother dumped his girlfriend ka 1996. He was 18 and the girl 16 and at my school. Apparently he got wind of that she was cheating etc. He sent her a casette (TDK) a dapile dipina and one of them was “Take your love and keep it”.
If my brother, even at that age, could throw deuces at a pretty girl for cheating, what stops a grown up woman with a mind, a job, family, great friends etc.
Khaman tlheng basadi, a man will never take you back if you cheat on him. If he cheats and you leave, then he will always respect you. People may talk and laugh behind your failure at marriage mara let’s be honest, if he is never there, cheats on you, beats you up, impregnates someone else ect, you know deep down your heart that you are better off without him. F*#^ everyone else and their opinion, it’s your life.
Kiki on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 3:25 pm
Some men will even beg you to stay with them after you specifically told them that you have found someone else. This ‘love’ thing is not for women only. Even men fall in too deep and when they do they fall in hard. #FACT
sweetness on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 3:28 pm
Hayi,you act like you see all these couples you mentioning, like you follow them everywhere, etc… jut because they have not been exposed yet, or some people deal with their issues privately, now all those men are good… cha!!!
KevCare on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 3:30 pm
YHOOOOOYOH YHO!!!! Moeskont!!! @Kiki & Mapakisha, those men must be “RICA’d” or something….there’s no other way to explain that kak!
@Vesa, i’d rather not say anything coz it might offend you or ur man…i hope you not cheating on the poor guy anymore tho O_O
Speaking of our forefathers, there is a difference between Polygamy le Bofebe……Old people MARRIED alotta women, thats polygamy!
Men these days (Msholozi excluded) jus bang here, bang there, bang everywhere and (obviously) do not marry these bicycles of theirs…Seo ke BOFEBE *in Thuso Motaung’s voice*
lbg on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 3:31 pm
I hear u all but seriously I would not take bck any man who cheats lerato lea fela same time a ke dlale I dnt lie to my self I love my family nd they love me back what more do I need. I want to b like those ladies who kick a man out of bed after the third round cz I want to sleep. I dnt cheat my bed is a sacred space I hv fun though. Sex does not rule my world nd I dnt keep guys who are ruled by sex cnt u just get it from one person nd stick to it. A good vibrator costs a bit but its an investment in the self. So I hv a man nd if I dare find out hez a cheat I will clean the walkway to the gate with his behind period thrz lots of love out there n I would rather have aids e ke e tsebang gore e tswa kae.
Bohlez on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 3:32 pm
Hai ku taugh* in Nomkikizelo’s voice* can sum1 remind me again why shud we get married vele?
LadyM on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 3:38 pm
@Bohlez so le wena you are gonna base your decisions on other people’s relationships?
Bohlez on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 3:45 pm
@LadyM Phela i can’t igore all these, i am a very emotional being(cancerian) and i have chosen to be single 2 avoid all this trauma and heartache, how will i cope in marriage i ask myself, maybe i will find a man who falls in the 2% of those who do not cheat, my latest ex bf made a woman preggy with twins and i was left traumatised and m still going thru therapy….and picking up pieces
RexonaABC on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 3:45 pm
Nna, i have a question to men/women who take back their cheating partners. Do you ask them about the details of their cheating, do you ask them if they used protection, how do you even believe that they used it? *not judging, just curious*
Bushnana on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 3:46 pm
Kewgal what you saying is so true, destroy the family structure destroy a nation. We can seet it happening all around us. The reason why women are holding on to cheating men is because there is a limited pool of men that a black wonan can date. The rest are construction workers, security guards or in prison. And we can thank the white master for that.We can deny it as much as we want to but they still rule us and yes they even tell us how to have sex.
Vesa on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 3:46 pm
@Vesa, ur man is isishimane bcos any sane man will never stay with u after catching u cheating unless sewumshaye nge knorrox ne aromat and other spices but ke leyo akuseyiyo indoda isiyoyoyo nje into elenga izindende.
Hahhhahaha….every relationship has it’s dynamics. Like all the women here saying “if I find my man cheating, I’m out”….it’s never that easy. Like everything else….it depends on the circumstances
@Kevcare…..that happened a long time ago, and ne ke kgathetse and was proving a point to the man.
Mapakisha on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 3:49 pm
Nna kere a man who cheats doesn’t respect you, or his partner or his mother. If your mama showed/taught that it’s ayt to treat your lady like the writer says then go ahead & expose her.
KevCare on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 3:51 pm
Any man or woman *yawn* (since we r all equal) that says they will never fall in love r lying! Men do fall in HARD but jus like every new thing…the fires die down a bit at some point.
Thing is tho….we cant use “LOVE” as an excuse to accept low moral standards and ACTIONS from your partner….some you “love and who claims to “love” you back!!
Maybe it coz nna ha ke fokke (as i’ve been told by an ex) but you have to love yourself enough to draw the line to things and people you accept into your life!
Anyone can fall IN love….over time, anyone can fall OUT of love! So o ncenga ntoni from a partner who clearly satisfy’s himself out there and doesn’t find that satisfaction from you?
Lona on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 3:51 pm
@KeyCare coming out 4 ur question…
Yes I do know more than 1 – they still stayed in their marriages hoping that everything will come right
The “other” 1 was rescued by a side dish (only gt the makhwapheni when he could c dat the wife was getting worse in her cheating ways). she ddnt even do her chores zobufazi while engaphangeli mind u akhonto angenayo hleli qha phangelelwa ngumyeni n pls dnt tell me abt ikorobela cz @ some point he was thinkin abt killin himself cz he had tried everything 2 rescue his marriage..
The makhwapheni came in n she convinced him 2 divorce his wife!
Me 2 @Kevcare I hv cheated on my bf as well n yes he knew abt it 4rm my reactions (n its nt like I ddnt try 2 hide it he just knew dat he was lackin somethin 4 my then ” new” standard)…and guess what he never dumped me bt made sure that he upped his game n won me back…we stl joke abt it cz he knows full well ba ndandiphunyuka endiphethe kwaaaa
Lela ndinawe cc it boils down 2 respect hence vele ube lost when u looking 4 the reason he cheated cz he gives his all in ur relationship
Mapakisha on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 3:51 pm
Nna kere a man who cheats doesn’t respect himself, or his partner or his mother. If your mama showed/taught that it’s ayt to treat your lady like the writer says then go ahead & expose her.
Miranda on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 3:53 pm
@ Kewlgal, bona bao be ba nyala 100 wives, ke bona ba thomile this cheating crap.Akere back then women were not independent, so they stayed in the marriages because they had no wherelse to go…it was some kind of a taboo to divorce and go back to your mom’s house. So they accepted the side dishes whom they knew were going to join the wife list later on. “plus” they was no aids and sti’s.
Now, things changed, women are independent beings,can actually afford life’s expenses without a man’s hand and we have aids every second corner- meaning they can leave a cheating a*shole anytime, Men were eventually going to change their way of thinking about multiple partners if we women of today had dismissed this idea from day 1.
But ke,gucale this one ntombazana a vuma guthatha indoda back after cheating…a mosha yonke yinto, now these men just think ‘ I will cheat, ask for forgiveness and get back with her’…..Here we are today, with a big problem….the damage is done.
@ DrDee, I like the idea of fighting fire with fire, No! lets call it a bomb. Phela it is not like fighting it with with water or fire extinguisher(sp) will make it go away for good.It will still vuka again and burn you, so I say shapanang ka mello,le createng Bomb….hopefully one day we will here a guy ko AAA a re ‘my wife and I are cheating, how do we get our marriage back?’
Vesa on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 3:55 pm
@ DrDee, I like the idea of fighting fire with fire, No! lets call it a bomb. Phela it is not like fighting it with with water or fire extinguisher(sp) will make it go away for good.It will still vuka again and burn you, so I say shapanang ka mello,le createng Bomb….hopefully one day we will here a guy ko AAA a re ‘my wife and I are cheating, how do we get our marriage back?
@Miranda…..kwaaaaa!!!!
Monei on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 3:59 pm
uhm, KevCare it appears our Prez has a habit of testing the goods before marrying them. i believe the last 3 wives had kids with him before they married him and khoza’s daughter is another. atlst he wraps up the deal for most i guess (after banging here and there) tltltltl
Goliwood on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 3:59 pm
*cats walks out of silentville waving white flag* Woooooo bathong ne kere ka didimala but shem ku rough! To all the bloggers abathi we mustnt generalise well take this into consideration just maybe the reason we saying ukuthi all men cheat is because we have been subjected to such, mna I’m yet to meet a man who has been faithful and till such time for me bonke bayafana, like they say Guilty till proven innocent. I have sat back and watched all thos realationships that u see perfect and bonke have turned out ukuthi they still going strong because they could hide it very well and some women\men stay because they have decided too. Age is not maturity, to the 2% that are faithful wowza siyanihalalisela but this article is so not about you. Maybe instead of shooting down u can write your own articles just maybe we will be convinced. I pray that I can find the 2% man to marry me but I aint gonna be naïve! And I’m not gonna look for things just appreciate what I have. And never make the mistake of comparing my self to others just because it looks right doesn’t mean it is! *does a full swing turn and goes bk to SV*
KewlGal on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 4:07 pm
@Bushnana ((((BOOYAKAA))))*in my imaginary Kiki’s voice*
I knew someone will actually get the point i’m tryina make. I am in no way making excuse for men, but we should look deeper into this and see that its not about each of us as individuals there’s a bigger plan as to why men have to behave the way they do.
I will sleep well now knowing atleast one person got what i was saying..
Lona on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 4:13 pm
@Vesa we r still waitin 4 those ladies who were in normal relationships where they actually saw their future husband(n were satisfied w/ everythin they had then boom they find out that their men were cheatin)…pls I wanna know nna sum1 who dumped them right there n then n never looked back…n I’m talkin abt the 1st time they found out abt them cheatin!!!
Mlk on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 4:13 pm
Just last night I found out that he’s cheating, this after suspecting it for a while. I finally went looking for proof and I found it. I woke up in the morning gathered myself for work, got to work and I couldn’t function at all. I left work to confront him, and he denied it all. Regardless of what he said, I still told him to fuck the hell outta my life cos clearly he doesn’t respect me.
I love him yes, but I refuse to get some dreaded disease cos of someone who doesn’t know how to ‘control his 3rd leg’. He can go to hell with his cheating ways. But yet again this doesn’t make it hurt anyless, but I will not stay with a cheating man knowingly.
*off to adult world to buy a vibrator then silentville*
LadyM on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 4:15 pm
@Bohlez- at the end of the day,we are all human and we make mistakes. U must learn to make room for disappointment.
Also this thing of taking “characters and personalities” to heart based on star signs is just nonsense. You can get a cancer who is real mean bla bla. and sometimes your good quality can be your weakness /downfall.
all I’m saying is that just because most people here are cheated on dont mean le wena you will suffer the same fate. Who knows, maybe the guy you meet would have grown up and quit cheating.
LadyM on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 4:16 pm
Nna kere a man who cheats doesn’t respect himself, or his partner or his mother.—-> i agree @Mapakisha
KewlGal on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 4:25 pm
I remember one time on TV when Lebo Mashile still had that Latitude show, I think she went to EC or KZN to try and find out why women were still in polygamous marriages, i maybe wrong but the attitude she had was that these women were being discriminated against and she was trying to push them to admit that they were not happy, knowing abantu abadala, when u are a young person who is misinformed and you come to them to find out something about our culture and ur attitude is that of undermining their way of living they wont say no to you espec, they will just look at you and agree with you, cos clearly you did not come to get information you just came to force or impose ur ideas on them and in the end you wont learn anything from them.
Has any of us here who still have grandparents ever tried to ask them why ppl were practising Polygamy? or instead we just take what they tell us on TV and think that our ancestor were crazy?
This ‘Independent woman’ nonsense needs to end too, LOL.
eish
Chase on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 4:26 pm
@ I like the idea of fighting fire with fire.
women should start cheating too and will see if your body can handle it as much as ours can.
some of the women i used to go to school with look 15yrs older, phela awadlali amapipi adifferent engena ephuma kuwe avele akushiye uhhohlokile nje.
KevCare on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 4:51 pm
Hahahaha!! @Chase Tell them!!! You should see the “IT” girls who i went to high skool and first year with yo
ho setse manganga fela nou!!
Monei on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 5:01 pm
kwaaaaaaaaaaaaaa@ Chase le KevCare. le sele!
Nkey.. on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 5:03 pm
@ chase ipipi alikaze ligugise bhuti.If umzimba mubi,mubi klaar
I know people who have been sleeping around since ngvula mehlo and they still doing it till today.But they have banging bods.
So hanime nino Kevcare
lbg on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 5:08 pm
O hhohloga le ka pipi ei 1 so plz gao guga kapela o wa guga iv seen ppl who sleep around okare le fase lea fela mara still thy look hot as if ke ma virgin le ma virgin a fedileng okare ba rekisa
Lela on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 5:27 pm
WTF is this taking back a man after he’s cheated line I keep hearing, does he cheat n go kanti okanye the rats steal the condom while u r there stayin with him hence u are able to even notice that kukho impuku etya icondoms apha endlini. Are we not talkin about men who cheat while in a relationship with u, how do u take him back when u havent dumped him? Kona how do u dump a man because a rat stole his condom,lets be realisti bethunana. You know he be lyin but would that be reason enough to dump him? Very few women who’s boyfriends love n respect them have actually cought a guy in bed with a woman, u just see signs or sms or missing condom etc.
On polygamy,whoa aningendihlebi, aningendi judgi sekuthwa nditshata isithembu! Senimane niyatsho nje but who in our age group wants to get into isithembu? We know young people of today don’t wanna be backward mos so they’d rather be imistress tham second wife for fear of victimisation.
Lela on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 5:48 pm
True Kewlgal independent woman nonsense needs to end nyhani n this undermining our culture needs to stop. I know this is not expected from me as a christian woman but im a christian woman who is an african n here goes,it is unafrican to cheat,there is no cheatin in africa,african men have many women whether wives or concubines. Ngeliphandle ndizama ukuthi ayidalwanga into yoba indoda yomAfrika yaneliseke libhinqa elinye,those who can God bless you n that does not mean you are any less african it just means u have self control n we thank God for ur lives.
KewlGal on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 5:59 pm
@Lela Amen sis wam
DrDee on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 6:45 pm
@KevCare and @Chase,you are forgetting that women don’t have the same turnover rate pun intended as men.Women can keep a partner for 2 years without replacing him.So we will neve have the same number of shag patners as men.And these days women look after themselves so aging fast becoz of ipipi is out the window boys.
Lela on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 7:51 pm
Heheheh Kewlgal i remeber when we used to stay together n i had moved out because we had some problems which were to me bigger than cheating, so i went home n i had to give reason to ma aunt so i thought let me give cheating as the reason as it would make more sense n i still laugh when i think of her response. Mna i was like ucheatile malumekazi, and her, wenze njani mtanam uze nayo aphendlini lenkazana? Yho i just laughed cause in all the times i’ve suspected cheatin i neva really had concrete proof so she made me feel like a fool n i understood why she is still with her husband 40 years later.
MissAN on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 8:11 pm
@ Lela…my mind is always on overdrive,you more than welcome not to answer…Ok,I can see that @mbulela is against this article,so I would assume he falls in the 2% of men that do no cheat and you on the other hand,seem like you have accepted that men cheat regardless and my question is,did @mbulela cheat since it has been established you guys are exes and on good terms at that…#JC
DrDee on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 8:34 pm
Kanti @MissAnn are @Lela and @Pule exes in real life.I thought it was just JC banter?
MissAN on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:02 pm
Manyewu hle @DrDee…I think in real life,mbulela was inspired by lela’s full name..It was funny how it happened…I think @mbulela always knew who @lela was and would drop hints,til she figured it out…small world indeed…
How is you cheesekop?
DrDee on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:21 pm
@MissAnn,I am blessed with lots of hair.If I tell you that I can almost tie it at the back now.Working on ur stuff dear.
DrDee on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:25 pm
@MissAnn am seeing fire.My posts keep disappearing.I am blessed with lots of hair so it not a cheeskop anymore.Can almost tie it up nw.Am working on ur order.
MissAN on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 9:32 pm
@DrDee…what,is not like 2 months ago you were complaining about your hair and cut it ALL off? na now you telling me you can almost tie it up? Life is not fair…I have NEVER had iphondo….Tjo!!!
Thanks,I can’t wait…
sxylin on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 11:49 pm
OMG Miss AN are you serious; I must have missed that post! So @Pule and @Lela are exes? Yho… Mara Miss AN your memory is scary nyan’ . Lela I’m learning a lot from you sisi; plenty shame thx a lot
Lela on Tue, 18th Oct 2011 11:53 pm
Kwaaaaaaaaa hayi MissAN unguMadontsela nyhani, yhazi this is very difficult because i have a number of exs so into yam no Pule iphelele la kwi JC outside of JC I still don’t know who he is even tho we even talk on email awuyazi indistressa njani lendaba cause im always like what if he is really my ex n which one can it be? Yhazi if i can know id be glad to answer maybe he should shed the light nje naye.
MissAN on Wed, 19th Oct 2011 12:13 am
Haayi @ Lela manje that gift he sent,he sent it as @mbulela and obviously he posted it from which ever country he seems to be in *stunts* and did he create a special email with an alias so you won’t figure who he is…Lela you need to up your analytical skills…How can you not know who he is,which ex of yours:
1) Has an obessession with big thighs and thick women
2) Is overseas or not local
3) Attended His People
4) Is sarcastic like @mbulela and @Pule
5)Clearly is a man of God
6) Has a dry sense of humour
@sxylin…
yes,they are but clearly @Lela doesn’t know who this ex is…
MissAN on Wed, 19th Oct 2011 12:16 am
@Lela and 7) says the sweetest things…
RexonaABC on Wed, 19th Oct 2011 3:19 am
@DrDee, wooh you are blessed with hair.
Yeah recently commends disappear, sometimes after submitting i get disconnected, thought it was my internet.
DrDee on Wed, 19th Oct 2011 6:23 am
@brightsparkstar!Sorry to bust ur fantasy or bubble but the joke is on you girl.This guy know exactly what he wants and is clever enough to tell you what all women want to hear,that you are prettier,he doesn’t love the other gal blah blah blah.And who is he hiding and sneaking around with.You and not the regular gal.If you were to find out his exact thoughts on you,you would be devasted.Days of naivety are over.Wake up and smell the coffee.
DrDee on Wed, 19th Oct 2011 6:27 am
@brightsparkstar!Thank you for sharing but the joke is on you gal.The guy is just telling you exactly what will make you open very wide.Don’t be that naïve.
Lela on Wed, 19th Oct 2011 9:24 am
LOL MissAN maybe I should use those pointers then. He is not out of the country I think it’s his girlfriend that’s sending the stuff and believe me his email ad doen’t give me a clue!
iPad on Wed, 19th Oct 2011 9:31 am
@brightsparkstar I know exactly what u talking about. Nam i cheated on my bf with my EX, and we even slept with each other. Im now making excuses to see my bf ngoba kaloku angayiva ukuba ndilele nomnye umntu. Even now Im distancing myself from my EX ngoba when we together things get hot nyani.
I_gnite on Wed, 19th Oct 2011 9:49 am
@Maratahelele are you a woman? If u are go get yourself a nice dress! If you’re not! Go get that dress bcoz It wud look nice on u brother!
I_gnite on Wed, 19th Oct 2011 9:50 am
@Maratahelele are you a woman? If u are go get yourself a nice dress! If you’re not! Go get that dress anyway, bcoz It wud look nice on u brother!
Pule on Wed, 19th Oct 2011 10:01 am
@Lela, pls stop this.
I beg you in the name of Jesu.
You will drive me into Silent blogville permanently.
Pls don’t do this.I beg you,sisi.
Pule on Wed, 19th Oct 2011 10:15 am
@MissAN,you are too dangerous for words.
However you are misleading my lady a bit.
@Lela, lets keep our private matter out of JC.
MissAN on Wed, 19th Oct 2011 10:53 am
@Pule…I will take it is a compliment and I wonder why I am still at home…
@ Lela *wink wink* wena I sent u a msg kwi FaceBook,still waiting…
@iPad & @brightsparkstar… *cues Character nguX ongasolveki*
Bloggers mara,manje why must @maratahelele buy a dress…tltltl
mnyamana on Wed, 19th Oct 2011 3:15 pm
This blog dragged me out of silentville.
I have always thought I could never forgive some1 that has cheated on me, until the day I lost the man I thought I will spend the rest of my life with. We dated @ varsity, he got a job in JBH I remained in DBN. Couple of months later I cud sense that something was going on, he became secrective and so went snooping on his fone… well I got what I was looking and broke up with him. He begged me for months for a second chance but I couldn’t forgive him even though
bengisamthanda. When I thought I was ready to give him a second chance found out from friends that he had moved on with his life; was so mad so I called him ngashiya engingalazi. He tried explaining and wasn’t even interested… a month later he had a car accident and unfortunately he didn’t survived it. His death has taught me 2 THINGS… learn to forgive the people that we claim to love coz we don’t know what tomorrow holds. That when your partner cheats on you his cheating has nothing to do with you. Therefore if my current bf cheats on me and happen to found abt it I will forgive him… i dont care if that makes me stupid or bitch with low self esteem #as some self rightous blogger has said in the above comments#. life is too short to worry abt what the other person is diong behind ur back… wish i had learnt that earlier
sorry for the long post
MissAN on Wed, 19th Oct 2011 3:44 pm
@mnyamana life is strange indeed…guess we really do live on borrowed time…
Tebatjo on Wed, 19th Oct 2011 4:04 pm
Ja neh!! The roughness that lurks among us!!
@Mnyamana, I agree with you about forgiving people for their cheating ways and stuff, holding on to such things can have dire effects in the future!! Mara I won’t take him back shame!
Biskiti on Thu, 20th Oct 2011 8:38 am
Most guys cheat, that’s the unfortunate fact of life. As a guy, i have cheated in the past, and don’t know of any guy that hasn’t cheated before. However, that doesn’t make it right. I tried to review my cheating ways, to try and establish why i did that, but the only things that come to mind is the excitement that comes with cheating, the escapism factor, the no-strings attached factor but mostly the reliability and availability of the other party.
The main thing i discovered was that my cheating ways were not a reflection of how much i loved my partner, or lack thereof. Weird concept, but honestly, it’s a case of what she doesn’t know can’t hurt her.
Women who snoop around their partner’s things will find exactly what they are looking for. Leaving that guy for another is basically like startinga new cycle, that’s why I like Lela’s theory that as long as he respects you and treats you right, going out of his way to ensure that you don’t find out, then that’s your Mr. Right. Learn to work with what you have. and have a mansion for disappointment….no human is perfect.
With all that said, if my chick was to cheat on me and i found out about it, i would forgive her but wouldn’t want anything to do with her thereafter. I’d rather ko starta from scratch ko Moria….lol.
Nthoentle on Thu, 20th Oct 2011 9:00 am
LoL, o sele @Biskiti
TT on Thu, 20th Oct 2011 9:08 am
*JumpsOutofSilentBlogging*
I agree with the people that says the writter is probably in the 20-25 years old region. However It doesn’t change the Fact that What he said is what most men do and how they think. Men can’t think straight with their penis erect. The difference between men is their girlfriends. A guy will ask himself this question..? “Is my girlfriend worth it for me to let this CAKE infornt of me go?” If the answer is NO, then he will go for it.
Ladies, I know this will come as a shock, But I’m telling You-You guys are the ones cheating yourselves. I have dated in my life,I met all different kinds of woman, shape, size, enthnic groups, educated ,illetirate etc,..But I found out that all of them are the same. They don’t know what they want.
Most women suffer from self esteem and is us the guys that are made to pay for their shortfall. Example: A woman will never make peace with the fact that you have Lady friends in your life, but she will expect you to understand that George is just his friend. WTF is that. I personally don’t give a damn who you befriend, as long as that doesn’t interfere with my time with You.
Women don’t even trust their own sisters with their boyfriends. I don’t think they can ever trust any other random woman. Once my girlfriend invited me to go to her church with her and I agreed, When we where we there, Some lady introduced herself to me and we chatted about nothin,..Lets say that was the last time I ever went to that church.
My point is..You ladies must look yourselves in the mirror before you throw stones.
Biskiti on Thu, 20th Oct 2011 9:30 am
Nthoentle, akuvumi kuthi ndithule…lol.
Lol TT, nna i once got onto kak for being friendly with my girlfriend’s friends at a function…while she was there. Basidi**claps hands and walks away***
manny on Fri, 21st Oct 2011 9:19 am
deathby generalisation…we are not about just getting laid..
isithunzi siyaphela if u go around undressing for everyone..
MAESESLA on Fri, 21st Oct 2011 12:41 pm
this article is so brilliant it made me cry… so true hey…
we can I get hold of that remote? i bet u the wording on the sex button will fade very fast. and more over the button e tlo kgamathela ka magobe le di sopo/mud/shaving cream etc cause i we want to do it all the time.