DIVAs Share Tips On How To Be Shady

March 19, 2012 by  

Tips ON How To Be Shady; From Your Favorite DIVAS!

Have you ever had an argument with someone and after a few minutes, hours etc. when the argument is long gone and done. You suddenly think of the witty comebacks you could have made or said during the argument but they just came to your mind a little too late. Well I have gone through those moments and I can honestly tell you, I always kick myself so hard for not having thought of my witty comments during those heated moments. Recently I have learned to channel into my “DIVAS SPIRIT”, when I feel at a loss of words during an argument.

I stop and say to myself… “What Would My Diva Say”? In the same breath or vein that those people who wear those “WWJD” wrist-bands, necklaces etc. do.

For those who don know; “WWJD” means What Would Jesus Do”.

I now know how to ‘SHADE’ from all my favorite Divas. Shading is an art, a craft that not all are born with, but all with evil intent can master so this piece will be about teaching you how to “SHADE”.

I am going to give you some quotes from what my DIVAS said when they were feuding with their rivals. MY INSPIRATION.

Sometime in the early late 80s/ early 90s. Janet Jackson was asked how she felt about being compared to Madonna.

Janet On Madonna:

“Yes we both do pop music, but what I do, I believe is much more CLASSY’.

Madonna’s Response:

“Yes she dissed me, and I have never met the woman. I don’t know anyone she knows. I am mystified on why she would say such about me. You know maybe one day I will meet her and she’ll tell me’.

And then in the late 90s Mariah Carey left Sony Records, and was replaced by J.Lo as their first lady. Unconfirmed reports even go as far as saying, Mariah’s failed “Glitter” project was sabotaged by SONY, and some of Mariah’s songs were stolen and given to J.Lo i.e. J.Lo’s biggest hit; “I’m Real”.

Apparently that was supposed to be a Mariah song on Glitter and Mariah heard some woman singing her song on the radio, and most of the “Glitter” soundtrack album had to be re-worked.

Mariah on J.Lo

Interviewer: “Mariah what do you think about J.Lo?

Mariah: “Who??? I’ve never heard of her”.

Mariah interviewed On Larry King:

Larry King: So Mariah, is there any truth about the rivalry between you and J.lo?

Mariah: “I am a SINGER, J.Lo does whatever she does. But I am a SINGER.

It was also in the late nineties 90s; two young blonds were making a splash on the music scene. One with a great voice, but funnily being overshadowed by the sexier, prettier one with a weak voice. And they both happened to meet the “Queen Of Hip Hop Soul” Mary. J Bilge.

Mary. J Bilge On Christina Aguilera

“I met her, and she stuck out her hand out to me for me to kiss it like I was supposed to bow down to her. I was so disrespected, I was like; Britney Spears may not sing like you but she is going to go very far than you because not only does she show the outmost respect to her fans, but she shows respect to her elders. Christina was very very nasty when I met her and it’s not the first time I have heard of her behaving like that. A lot of people have complained.

It was in the mid-early 2000s and during one of her promo interviews for her flopping album, Christina Aguilera mentioned Mariah in a negative light, someone she’d previously called one of her greatest influences.

Christina On Mariah:

She was never cool to me… to the point that one time we were at a party and I think she got really drunk, and she had just really derogatory things to say to me… But it was at that time that she had that breakdown, so she might have been very medicated,”

Mariah’s First Response:

Interviewer: Do you listen to Christina?

Mariah: NO! But… Anyway.

Mariah’s Second Response:

“I had hoped that Christina was in a better place now than the last time I saw her when she showed up uninvited at one of my parties and displayed questionable behavior. It is sad yet predictable that she would use my name at this time to reinvent past incidents for her promotional gain. It is in my heart to forgive and I will keep her in my prayers.”

I unfortunately did not read much about Cher and Madonna’s feud, but a YouTube clip caught my attention to what Cher had to say about Madonna:

Cher On Madonna:

“She’s unbelievably creative, she’s rude, and she’s not beautiful. She’s a Bitch! But she’s creative”.

In the early nineties Madonna was once asked about her rivals;

Madonna On Mariah:

Interviewer: If you were to be Mariah Carey for one day. What would you do?

Madonna: I would commit suicide.

Mariah’s response:

Interviewer: So have you heard what Madonna said about you?

Mariah: I have not listened to Madonna since I was like in the 7th grade, when she USED to be popular, so there’s no possible way I could have heard anything from her right now.

And then sometimes our local DIVAS also have a go at it.

There was a time when Xolile Tshabala and Faye Peters ruled Generations, and apparently Xolile who joined the cast way after Faye, threatened Faye and Faye marked her as her nemesis.

And this is how Xolile described their infamous physical altercation on set, when she did an interview on the Phat Joe Show.

Xolile Tshabalala On Faye Peters:

“We were doing a scene and then she told me that my English was not good and that they should write all my scenes in Zulu. That was it for me. I was like Jheeer! And then I gooied that klap. Nga shaya isefebe nge mpama”.

 

Growing up we all knew about the Brenda Fassie/ Yvonne Chaka Chaka rivalry.

I believe it was one of the greatest events in my house sometime in the late 80s/ early nineties when Yvonne and Brenda appeared on the cover of BONA magazine together hugging and kissing. I still remember how excited my aunts were.

Yvonne and Brenda did have a good friendship behind the scenes; Brenda taught Yvonne how to drive and during Brenda’s down and out moments, Yvonne did lend a hand to help but having said that, they did have their rocky moments.

Shortly after Brenda died, Mama Yvonne shared her most memorable moments about MaBrr:

“We were doing a radio interview in Mafikeng, Brenda had been drinking and was high. I don’t remember exactly what it is I said to her but she suddenly gooied me with a glass of beer in my face. I was so upset but later on in true Brenda style, she came up to my hotel room, apologized. I told her (In vernac) You dare do that again, I will hit you. Brenda then laughed and looked me and said; Haai Yvonne! Shem you are too classy and too much of a lady to ever do that.”

That’s how The DIVAs Do It!

 

By Zamani Khethelo

 

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Comments

30 Comments on "DIVAs Share Tips On How To Be Shady"

  1. Tebatjo on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 1:06 am 

    Haaaaaaaaaa!! Death!! Found this so funny, just what I needed right now!!

  2. lolington kwaaa on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 1:57 am 

    And the AWARD *english accent* goes to…..who else but Mariah Carey?!

  3. 89Guy on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 2:34 am 

    LMAO!!! Ngashaya isifebe ngempama!

  4. Thase on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 5:36 am 

    Kwaakwaaaa, dead and buried by “I woull rather be on stage with a pig, a duet with J-Lo aint going to happen”. I have to agree with MC when she says she sings and J-Lo does whatever she does. J-Lo’s acting is way much better than her singing.. Mariah for president.

  5. fabulicious on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 7:59 am 

    Mariah: “I am a SINGER, J.Lo does whatever she does. But I am a SINGER.
    *DEATH*

  6. Jahara on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 8:21 am 

    I thought u said u r sharin tips on what to say in an argument (instantly),not in an interview after the argument(rehearsed)…

    Anyway…

  7. mzuaqe on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 8:22 am 

    #TeamMariahOcwebileyo
    #TeamNgashayaIsifebe

  8. Rethabile on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 8:36 am 

    Lmao!!

  9. nana on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 8:47 am 

    Lmao..Zamani we NEED articles like this EVERY Monday Morning..This is too funny, thanks for brightening my day!!

    #TEAMMARIAH!! “I have not listened to Madonna since I was like in the 7th grade, when she USED to be popular, so there’s no possible way I could have heard anything from her right now.”

    ROTFL

  10. myweapon on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 9:57 am 

    “Yes she dissed me, and I have never met the woman. I don’t know anyone she knows. I am mystified on why she would say such about me. You know maybe one day I will meet her and she’ll tell me’. MADONNA

    SHE DOESN’T KNOW MICHEAL JACKSON??? TRYING TO BE RELEVANT UH?

  11. H2G on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 10:36 am 

    Kwaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaha oh Bethunana Thanks Zamani *I heart you already!Man!This is so classic*

    I really was never a fan of these American Artists back then & in High school, but things change and I at least have to be less ignorant.I am a big fan of Mzantsi Selebhz ;)
    dead by Brenda Fassie; she is really a Xhosa from Langa that one “All of the are like that in Langa!” ;D

    Yhu!I thought American & European Artists were kind to one another,so thiese childish behaviours do occure to them too ;) yho!!!Deade!Dead by over Rude(ness)!

  12. lolo on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 10:45 am 

    When my daughter was just under three months old I took her to a family wedding, One of the people there was my hubby’s cousin…her and I just had an instant dislike to each other. She is one of those bitchy heifers who look down on you if you cannot prepare a meal for like 60 people in a days notice. Even after all these years she expects me to kotiza. Anyway my daughter was dressed all in pink, looking gorg, with little pantihose then the sifebe has the isibindi to say and I quote Hoo shem setse uthotse ngoana! Ke ngoanyana kape kemoshimane??? WTF my daughter was dressed ALL IN PINK!!! So I said ke moshimane, but ke cross dresser like papa wa hao o aparang di phenti tsa mama wa hao! NXAN! Stupid bitch!

  13. freckles on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 11:18 am 

    lmao, mara @Lolo. guess you have one ugly ass baby. Ladies, do like Beyonce and stop dressing kids in Pink/Blue. dress and wrap them in black!

  14. Fab Tee on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 11:27 am 

    kwaaaaa @lolo

  15. KewlGal on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 11:42 am 

    Kwaaaaaaa TeamMariah, she my Shero!!!

  16. Kiki on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 12:07 pm 

    *DEAD* *FAINTS* DIES AGAIN*

  17. Kiki on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 12:13 pm 

    But why is Mariah involved in ALL these fights???? She is the problem or troubled one. I mean all these people cant be on your case always. #IRefuse

  18. lolo on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 12:42 pm 

    @Freckles how dare you say that my baby aint cute! She is stunning! Just cause she is a bit navy and has no eyebrows or eyelashes it does not mean she is not pretty!

  19. Makgotso on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 1:17 pm 

    Mariah Carey has killer lines ha ha ha ha ha

    Kiki: I think everyone was jealous of her phela she was the IT-girl on the HERO, FANTASY days. Doing collabs with Boys II Men, hence people bebenechicken naye not ibeef

  20. Lela on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 1:20 pm 

    LOL

  21. Biskiti on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 1:30 pm 

    Kwaaa kwaaa kwaaa Zamina le Mariah Carey, le di bausss streight!!! I haven’t had such laughter since Juju got kicked out of the ANC. Thanks Bru!!

    And there was Lolo and her eyebrow-less navy baby…lmao! This is why i love JC, it just brightens even the dullest Benoni day.

    I would have loved to see that cat fight between Xolile & Faye…lol

  22. lalakins on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 2:13 pm 

    Lmao lolo, yu always manAge to make me roar with laughter. Can we please sever picture of the child?

  23. Silvio on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 2:21 pm 

    kwaaaaa

  24. Babyluv on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 2:42 pm 

    Kwaaaaa lolo kutheni lentombi yakho inavy? Utata wakhe ngo wase limpopo. #deathby shim is a cross dresser lyk ur dad wu wears ur mamas panty

  25. H2G on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 3:00 pm 

    Dead by Lolo ;D le ngwana wa hae ongacaciyo naseMehlweni ezidenge whether Shim is a He/She ;D krkrkrkr

  26. Monei on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 3:16 pm 

    kwakwakwakwa!

    entertaining piece Zamani. le nna i was wondering why Mariah is everywhere… u shud add Riri and Ciara, nicky minaj and lil kim, lil kim and foxy brown, get my black drift…tltltltl

    Kwaaaaaa @lolo’s navy baby ‘boy’ and the cross dressing uncle-in-law!

  27. sxylin on Mon, 19th Mar 2012 5:51 pm 

    Errrrrr @Lolo how can u say that about my beautiful baby! @Thase heyya !

  28. sweetie on Tue, 20th Mar 2012 2:28 pm 

    @Lolo, lolllllllllllsss

  29. GiJane on Tue, 20th Mar 2012 3:46 pm 

    Nice article Zamani,wouldve loved to read more about our own Mzansi Divas,who seem to be more ruthless with their comebacks eg Kelly vs Khanyi, Mel Bala vs Caroline fassie, Nonhle vs Dineo, Dineo vs Bonang, Khanyi vs Uyanda etc

  30. GiJane on Tue, 20th Mar 2012 3:48 pm 

    Nice article Zamani,wouldve loved to read more about our own Mzansi Divas,who seem to be more ruthless with their comebacks eg Kelly vs Khanyi, Mel Bala vs Caroline fassie, Nonhle vs Dineo, Dineo vs Bonang, Khanyi vs Uyanda etc etc

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