I’m Into Girls
I’ve always been a good girl, dated a few boys in high school that always broke my heart…looking back now I realise that I have always had a very close-to-heart relationships with very specific ladies in my life. Not the typical kind of friendships everyone has with their friends but at any point in my life I had that one person I’d cross the ocean for, send them out-of-the-blue gifts.
My first special person was a certain radio DJ back in 2003, I was still in Cape Town then and would call live on her show and sometimes at her office after her show (we became close). I used to also come to JHB to visit friends for no other reason than to visit her at SABC. She was way older than me but I didn’t mind as what I felt for her then was not sexual I just really loved her dearly as a person.
My friends would ask if I was sure I didn’t feel more about these women and my answer was always a definite yes, like I didn’t see myself kissing those women and being sexual with them, my feelings were simply more than what one would define for a friend. Since then, as I matured this went on with different people I met. Some these ‘friendships’ sort of ended whenever I got over them – well they were always one sided (depth) and some I still maintain on a normal level tho…
Through these ‘friendships’ I became more comfortable with women and I found myself wanting to explore more than just loving at a distance…and that’s where the idea of internet dating started just out of curiosity and on grounds that it would be anonymous – with discretion (email addresses and all).
To my surprise I interacted with warm kind hearted individuals (with real issues) and some like me (curious). I also met two women and that’s when I had my first girl-on-girl kiss – It was so real it felt like heaven and I only experienced this feeling a few times with the boys I kissed. There was something about my breasts meeting hers when we hugged and to that point I knew that was it…I’m into girls.
There’s something different with these feeling I have – that unspoken girl-to-girl understanding/trust vibe going on – but then that’s me loving naively every time; I’m also mindful that they’ll break my heart like any human being.
My close friends are fine with this new journey as they’ve always suspected, hell they are even hooking me up with some of their hot colleagues …
I haven’t thought about what my family will say cause we never talk about relationships unless it’s pregnancy/lobola but man I’m turning 28 this year, have a good corporate job, never gave them a hard time and very responsible, it’d be just unfair.
I’m not dating anyone right now but my crushes keep me warm ;D. I also haven’t gotten naked with anyone yet – but I’m prepared mentally for that awesome day… I even watched some lesbian TV series, just to make sure it was not all in my head and I’m happy to say that it was natural – I didn’t see anything wrong except I wanted to be part of that cast
Just like some boys, this is not a physical situation, I don’t just see a girl on the streets with a nice ass and fall for her, I mean my friends still get naked around me and it doesn’t get awkward…it’s a heart situation maybe it’ll change as I mature in this journey – like a friend once said – the heart is the most changing part of your body…and I’m enjoying where it’s taking me now…