Love: What We Should Do More Of

July 4, 2012 by  

So I’ve been putting away publishing this because I worried that some of you will complain that  like Metro FM DJ, we are always talking about relationships. But you know what neh, until we live in a problem free world… there will always be these kinda books, articles, TV shows , Radio topics etc. Another reason is because I’ve always been loud in asking why women are the ones that have to change behaviour to keep men but the reality is that, we often have to. Don’t ask me why.

So if you aren’t in the mood for one of those love topics, please leave the room hle (without a comment tuu). LOL.

In agreeing that we can’t really do much to make our relationship issues go away , I believer there are things we can do to try make a new experience better than the last. In trying to be a different, and trying more of what we don’t usually do… here are some thoughts on 3 Things We Should Do More Of.

  1. 1.    Ask If He Has A Girlfriend

I was surprised to find out that some of us ladies find it difficult to ask a guy we are interested in if they are involved. Honestly, asking from the start will save you a lot of trouble later on and it’s actually much easier to ask early because he’s not expecting the question and is less likely to lie.

The problem with asking much later is that it might be harder to walk away when you find out that he’s actually taken because you’ve already invested so much time and effort into the relationship.

In an ideal world you would not even have to ask this question because common sense says that a man who’s involved would not make a move on you but we live in this crazy world we live in so ladies, let’s be courageous and ask.

If you don’t ask, and you find out he’s got someone else… he might just turn around and say “But you never asked.”

  1. 2.    Take Responsibility For Our Choice In Men

This is one of the most empowering statements I have ever heard in my “love” life. The first time I read this was when I came across Steven James Dixon, whom I’ve written about before and it was just so liberating.

Whenever things go wrong in love, we are quick to be the victims, cry and ask why they always do this to us but we forget that we chose to be with them. That the men in our lives aren’t just in our lives but we’ve actively made the choice for them to be there and if things don’t work out for whatever reason, we should accept half of the responsibility. I’ve adopted this and I find that it’s easier to move on from a setback with this attitude because instead of focusing on “what’s wrong with me, why does he not like me”… my focus is more on “why did I settle for this when I could’ve gone for better.” Life is easier with this approach, try it!

  1. 3.     Have standards and boundaries

This is nothing new. By now we’ve heard it over a thousand times but it’s hard! Steve Harvey gave us the exaggerated version of “Men Respect Standards, Get Some” but yazi he was right, standards and boundaries are necessary. A man needs to know what you like and what you don’t like so as to make you happy but we are afraid to set standards and boundaries because we are afraid they’d walk away. But if you think about it, a man who really likes you and really wants to be with you, will respect you and what you stand for and if he walks away because you know what you want, then perhaps he doesn’t deserve to be in your life.

We don’t have to go all Debora Patta about this, you can have standards and still be sweet about it.

Let us not be afraid to ask for what we want and the universe will give it to us. Hopefully.

Related Stories:

Salute: Hot Black Dad!
The Metro FM Music Awards Ceremony
In International Magazine Covers

Comments

297 Comments on "Love: What We Should Do More Of"

  1. Babyluv on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 2:10 am 

    Awuuu. Maratongfontein, ths topic will keep us busy the whole day

  2. golden diva on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 4:17 am 

    That’s why I have a 2-page criteria list.

  3. Letebele on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 7:15 am 

    Agreed with 1&3
    I always ask if a man has a woman in his life,though the idiots always lie and they end up being dumped for lying.

    Standards! Standards! Standards! We may not know what we want but we do know what we don’t want. So make sure he’s on the same page and knows what you don’t want.

    I need to try nr 2.

  4. Nerlee on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 7:24 am 

    “Let us not be afraid to ask for what we want and the universe will give it to us” True

    As otherwise as I may sound: we need to pray for our relationships shame every single day!!!

  5. sxylin on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 8:29 am 

    im going to bed ne; enjoy the rest of your day :)

  6. thandalicious on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 8:38 am 

    I’m already practicing number 1&3, i really have to try number 2. It’s true, we woman settle nje and then it comes back and bites us in the end, then we wanna act like victims, when we should have set the standards from the on set.

  7. Mathaz on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 8:44 am 

    Just had to share this before i read the article. So I am rocking a mini today, my husband seems me and he says i am take it off. I must leave those things for single people lol. I refused and i must say i feel great.

  8. Mapakisha on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 8:50 am 

    I always do number 1, even when I know I ain’t taking this anywhere & people give that look ya hore “how dare you”? And then they turn around & say “well, I do but ….” mxm! But I make a point of asking shem, I don’t want surprises.
    Number 2 is so difficult cos it doesn’t matter what kinda dude he is, there’s always a chance he’ll stray. I like nice looking boys so I get that they have lotsa other “fans”, can’t say it’s not annoying though*sigh*
    Number3: Standards? errr!! kea dlala. It’s also quiet hard(for me) but I try, the problem is having an open mind, hehehehe! But I try, I’mma pray about this.

  9. Ntombi Yomzulu on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 8:54 am 

    Well done Mathaz for standing up for yourself. the worst thing we can do as women is to allow ouw our bf’s or hubby’s to dictate us. You can still be married and look super sexy, uban othe uma usushadile kumele ufane noMawakho. I have a big problem with this shame when it comes to married women or women with kids, bayaziyekelela

  10. Ntombi Yomzulu on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 8:57 am 

    Heheheheh, I once tried to to date this guy when I was in tertiary, I asked him if he has a girlfriend or seeing someone else and his response was: babe thats personal…lol

  11. popeye on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 8:58 am 

    Hmmmmm Michael Ealy

  12. Vesa on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 9:12 am 

    I live by number one shem, and I always have come backs when I get told that, no I’m single and not seeing anyone. I take it further and ask gore why would a 30 something man not be with anyone. And how does he “get by” without sex…..haaaa, you should see the look on their face at this stage.

    No 2….as much as a failed relationship hurts me and I’m sad for days, I console myself by saying “Se nkganang se nthola morwalo”. Loosely translated, whoever rejects me is saving me from trouble.

    No 3…I subtly let it known what I don’t want and don’t even compromise.

  13. Mathaz on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 9:15 am 

    @Ntombi I dont know why we do it, yazi. Most great looking women are not in relationships. When you are in one, you just let go and forget about being attractive to him. Men love with their eyes first mara i guess it’s hard.

    Standards neh…set them and once he puts a ring on it these men change shem.

  14. Znat on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 9:18 am 

    Most men would never volunteer to inform you that they are taken without being asked. What I’ve learnt in this dating game is that a man with a serious girlfirend will admit that he does when you ask him.

    A friend of mine always says a “single” man is different from a “single” woman. When a woman is single it means that she’s not talking to anyone let alone sleeping with anyone, but a single man means “there’s someone Im shagging but that can end anytime after ungiqome” lol

  15. bumbum on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 9:34 am 

    @Mathaz engathi ungathatha lo owami uhubby, he wants me to wear all these tight mini dresses shorts what what and the clothes he buys me ungahleka he’s so wonderfull and when I ask him why uthanda this type of dress uvele athi angifuni ukuhalela abanye abafazi who wear what I like lol

  16. zoesaldanah on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 9:35 am 

    i think im in the verge of giving up on dating…
    i love someone that i cannot have and i’ve accepted and kinds made peace with it and all the guys that ask me out on dates are not what i’m looking for…its a sad that i am in with regards to love but hey thats life…i so agree with no 2…
    as for no 3, how do u know if you’ve set your standards too high, coz if i remember correctly Steve mentioned something about re-looking at standards…
    I choose to leave everything in God’s capable hands…

  17. lolington kwaaa on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 9:37 am 

    Ay mina I have a great guy but I just seem to be sabotaging things shame!
    Can I add number 4. Yes? Okay, no 4 is never forget to live for YOU. I think I did, tried to be a miss goodie2shoes cause my bf is also like that, hhay I’m failing now, hehehehe! I don’t even know why I did it. Now I miss my life before being in a relationship.

    I have never NOT ASKED a guy if he has a gf, it’s the first thing! With a gal it’s different though, she can only be a side dish so she had to have a BF.

    No.2 is a tough one cause some people are so good at hiding their true colours, but when they do decide to show them…I’m out, no second thoughts!

    No.3, a must…e.g. I cannot date a person who drinks or smokes,or has a job that pays him less than me! Tjo ngingafa nini? Aneva! I love innocent men…and intelligent/wise!

  18. fabulicious on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 9:38 am 

    Love is such a dicey thing.
    Mna I’m married to someone that I prayed for.
    After all the games, sleepless nyts insercurities hurts n pains my heart couldn’t take no more then God showed up and blessed me with the most humble caring man.
    Its good to know what u DON’T want but in the mist of all that u lose the sense of what it is u want so ladies look deep within and know exactly what it IS u want

  19. lolington kwaaa on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 9:39 am 

    In fact, love sucks nje!!!! It sucks donkey balls! Istru! I swear love can turn anyone into a fool! It really SUCKS! Yuck!!!!

    @Mathaz, you go girl!

  20. Mapakisha on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 9:51 am 

    Some guy once said said mangimbuza if he has a girlfriend, he said “I’m in between relationships”.. Hehehe, unbelievable stuff! I would’ve qoma’d him had he not said something that stupid, he was HOTT!

  21. Biskiti on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 9:55 am 

    Relationships neh…

    It’s true that if a guy is in a serious relationship he will tell you if you asked. Rememeber men cheat for the thrill of it, and yes for that shag, not because they wanna replace the one at home. So if you bounce after you hear a “Yes”, the next woman won’t be so mindful…

    Mathaz, every woman should always make the effort to look beautiful and sexy, but within acceptable boudaries. Do not push it to the extent where your partner feels uncomfortable, cause eventually he will ask himself gore who are you really trying to impress if your dressing up is continually bugging him, and you don’t take heed when he mentions it. All i’m saying is accommodate his views when rocking that mini.

    Having Standards & Boundaries is a must, remember you will be treated in a way you allow people to treat you!

  22. Fluffie on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 10:08 am 

    Gotta thank BS and team for new posts hey, your efforts don’t go unnoticed! We’ve had dry seasons LOL with no posts for almost the whole week!
    Keep it this way!

    Mna I just looooove the idea of “being in-love” ;)

  23. Soccerbabe on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 10:11 am 

    Heheheheh, I once tried to to date this guy when I was in tertiary, I asked him if he has a girlfriend or seeing someone else and his response was: babe thats personal…lol
    <————-Kwaaaaaaaaaaaaa Ntombiyomzulu He Banna personal???

  24. kimmo on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 10:16 am 

    @ fabu i know exactly what you mean when you say you married to someone that you prayed for, am in the same position and i must say it makes this “love” thing worth it, he might not be
    as perfect but its better than those sleepless nights, insecurities cause am really really @ peace! it feels great

  25. vigilante on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 10:20 am 

    eish guys this came at the right time for me, like you @zoe i always met with people that i didnt like.. now i met this guy that i think i like, dont know how to handle brothers, and i think he playing mind games eish…
    i mean i like him but then i dont wanna throw myself at him ngoba uzongijwayela kabi but then again maybe that’s why im single :) dotn know what to do

  26. Soccerbabe on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 10:24 am 

    Yes? Okay, no 4 is never forget to live for YOU. I think I did, tried to be a miss goodie2shoes cause my bf is also like that, hhay I’m failing now, hehehehe! I don’t even know why I did it. Now I miss my life before being in a relationship. <—-Lollington, you so right I never allow any man to change who i am, i drink and smoke infront of a guy asking me out, tell them if you like me you will be with me with my flaws if u feel im not good enough for u then take a hike. Ive seen some of my friends giving up their freedom and changing who they really are for bfs and when they dump them theyve lost themselves.

  27. LadyMillion on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 10:25 am 

    I asked him if he has a girlfriend or seeing someone else and his response was: babe thats personal…lol

    What the???

  28. asanwababe on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 10:26 am 

    Eish, ezothando. So there’s this guy I really really like. We have great conversations, we click on so many levels, he’s exactly what I look for in a man. We’ve been friends for a while now and we used to hang out quite regularly. So there I was waiting for him to make the move, but it wouldn’t happen. So I told him straight up (over the phone kodwa) that I really liked him. Ubrothers hit me with a “I appreciate it!” My poor ego bathong!

  29. Lela on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 10:28 am 

    In my adult life i got to be in very healthy, happy relationships. Exactly what I want, a man who loves God, prays with me yet not a stiff mzalwane but ingxaki i always get cheated on. I’ve never had a boyfriend who doesn’t cheat. Infact since my first love mna I’m always that girl in a serious relationship where everyone knows Lela is the wife but abe engafebi umtu. Manje angisazi!

  30. LadyMillion on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 10:33 am 

    “Men Respect Standards, Get Some”

    Yes ladies dont let them get away with things ongazithandi..Steve Harvey goes on to say if he is late the first time around…sit him down, he needs to know that he must respect your time..If you let it go kuqalwa njee oho libala ke..he will always fika late

  31. LadyMillion on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 10:35 am 

    So there I was waiting for him to make the move, but it wouldn’t happen. So I told him straight up (over the phone kodwa) that I really liked him. Ubrothers hit me with a “I appreciate it!” My poor ego bathong!

    @asanwabe…askies babe..yhoooooo i would die death!!!

  32. Noance on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 10:38 am 

    Hahhahahahahahhaha @LadyMillion this >>>>> “I asked him if he has a girlfriend or seeing someone else and his response was: babe thats personal…”

    That guy is full of games shame!!! Like Olympics games!!!

  33. Lela on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 10:41 am 

    I think I’m the one with a problem because when I get a guy who is too much into me and doesn’t cheat and all, i get soo bored. I was once engaged to this guy, i broke it off cause he bored me to death, he was too good, worshiped the ground i walked on and was doing so well financially but yho hayi he would call 20 times a day, always told me how much he loved me. Hayi guys mna i think ndim lo une problem.

    Don’t get me wrong, i love being loved and all the attention and gifts and ales and my cheats do that, they are always so loving, just everything i want in a man but the problem is the cheating gets too much. I mean that has been the case in all my relationships as in all.I’ve never been in a relationship where i don’t know where i stand, yiva ndithi i am always the madam but whuuu lapho ndihesha ngapha nangapha.

    So i take responsibiity for attracting cheats who love God and love me and make me happy. Manje can’t they just be all that but not cheat or cheat just kancinci.I once said to a friend, my friend you must pray against this spirit of attracting alcoholics and she said, and you must ray against this spirit of attracting men who love girls. Yho that’s when my eyes were open. Manje my fear is what if i get another mzalwane who is not gonna cheat but end up like the one i was engaged to. Hayi let me go for counselling, idinga uNkulunkulu le!

  34. Noance on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 10:41 am 

    @asanwabe TJO!!!! Mina I would die shame, I dont take rejection too well, I’d delete his numbers and change my number as well. I’m kind of in the same boat, but I would NEVER tell him that I like him shame.

  35. Lela on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 10:46 am 

    Another thing is i attract men who don’t have money, don’t wanna say broke and make the spirit worse. But I have never dated a guy who has money, im not even talking rich just money nje.But they always manage to spoil me ka giftnyana here and there, clothes from Mr Price and down town(don’t blame them i set the standard so if they see me shopping there, that’s where they’ll also go mos),weekend awaynyana but those things make me happy shem. I’ve never had a boyfriend that will pay my rent, child school fees, or even electricity ke.If we stay together we share bills. Is this a spirit or what?

  36. Noance on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 10:47 am 

    @Lela I know what you mean shame and unfortunately I lost out on great guys because of such tendencies. I have been single for 3 years now and I have been working on myself and I am trusting God to send me a fun loving husband that I will have fun with and also be able to pray with. Being a Christian does not mean you must be boring and dull. I also get bored easily shame.

  37. Vesa on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 10:48 am 

    Ubrothers hit me with a “I appreciate it!” My poor ego bathong!
    Wooo! That’s why we need to leave the shelling to men! 2012 or not, men are supposed to do the chasing still…..

  38. asanwababe on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 10:56 am 

    @LadyMillion @Noance, I don’t take rejection too well either. But somehow with this guy, I just shed a few tears, put on my big girl panties and told myself to move on. We still talk, but not as before. I miss him though, but I shall not be pining for a man that doesn’t recognise pure gold! *consoling my bruised ego*

  39. Noance on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:01 am 

    @asanwababe I read this on twitter the other day “You will never be enough for someone who isn’t interested in what you have to offer”

    I just told myself I will not force any relationship or try too hard. When its time for me to find him, he will be findable. lol

  40. asanwababe on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:05 am 

    @Vesa, you’re so right. Manje mina I have been told I have male tendencies but I never learn from experience. I’ve been rejected twice before Mr Appreciative, in the days of my youth. I practically asked this one guy out and we dated for a week. Then he told me it wasn’t working and broke up with me. The theme song that weekend was “All cried out”.

    Then the other guy, yoh yena nje he led me on. We would chat on the phone for hours and things were seemingly good. Then suddenely he wasn’t taking my calls anymore. Then he hooked up with my sferb of a friend (now former friend). Mnxim. Bafanelene vele.

  41. bongi on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:11 am 

    @ ntombiyomzulu mna im still in my makoti clothes..my inlaws said i can take it off and only wear the black doekie until the end of july- which ill be married for three months full, I must put a scarf in my bag incase ndiya kwi inlaws then just take it out and wrap around.Guess what? hubby wam une problem with that, he wants me to kotiza for six months and i must dress in long dress and skirt..i told him where to get off; worse is he is not wearing his wedding ring everyday, but mna i must be covered from head to toe…**phew i feel better now*..ayasiqhela lamadoda shame..im buying all star hi top every month shame- uzobona kakuhle kum..

  42. Mapakisha on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:12 am 

    Lmao @ asanwabe —->Ubrothers hit me with a “I appreciate it!”

    Yo, askies dali, kwaaaaaaaaa!!

  43. Pana on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:15 am 

    eish BS.
    nna i’m in a new relationship and i made sure hore i ask those questions before falling for him.
    unfortunately there are certain things that i changed to accomodate the guy hle. call me a hypocrite its fine but i wont let things that ruined my relationships in the past haunt or scare this one.

  44. Smang-mang Warona on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:16 am 

    The next piece of advice is for singletons and is not for everyone – read with an open mind.. sorry for the essay.. ?

    I just always treat men like sex-objects.. for my use when I want. This has worked perfectly because 100% of them keep coming back.. Please note that this does not entail sleeping with many different men, just one the one you choose and decide to be with. This is how it goes: Firstly, NEVER like the man more than he likes you in the beginning – this means always keeping your options open. While you’re single, always be actively going on dates with other men.

    Secondly, in the beginning, you must go through the entire dating process making him wonder whether you’re with someone else – you’ll be surprised how many men never actually ask you if you have a boyfriend. They never ask because men generally think women are desperate for a man and they say to themselves that if she HAD a man she would have said so already, thus she is single. What will confuse him is when you actually agree to some of the dates he asks you out to but you are kind of not really available even though you haven’t said anything about having a boyfriend. If he eventually asks – give him some vague answer or pretend that you’re lying about not having a boyfriend.

    Eventually the sex thing will come up after a couple of dates with your chosen guy. Never sleep with him too early or before a month or two is up – this will just negate all your mind games. Plus a good amount of time getting to know someone will give a good idea about whether this is a man you want to deal with. Remember ladies, when it comes to sex – you control everything – including your own emotions. There are some douchebags who are willing to wait however long it takes so NEVER be in love with a man the first time you sleep with him. The sex should be because you’re horny and not because you like this guy so much and are hoping this will lead to a relationship. Just because you had sex does not mean its now a relationship. After the deed is done, act really cool – don’t sms, BBM, tweet about or call him – basically act like you don’t give a hoot about whether he takes it further or not.. because you know “you have lots of other guys after you”..

    The combination of your nonchalance about whether he’s in your life or not and the fact that you don’t seem overly available may keep him interested for longer. Men are suckers for punishment and the less you consider his feelings the more he tries and pines after you.. you of course have to pull this off in a very sweet way so he doesn’t get angry..

  45. lolington kwaaa on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:16 am 

    #deathby “I appreciate that”…@asanwababe, that’s why I say this love thing sucks! Doti nje! Like can you imagine? You hang out, have decent conversations and yena he just wants to be friends! A straight man! Ugh!

  46. Mathaz on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:19 am 

    @Lela…your stories make me sad and thank you for sharing such deep issues. Askies.

    You know when they say that when you sleep with someone, you connect spiritually hence sex before marriage is a sin. So your spirit connected with one of the cheaters and that is what you are attracted to, same as guys who can’t spoil you rotten. You need to break that curse and start on a new slate. My husband is not a natural spoler mara i have taught him, so maybe teach him a thing or two.

  47. Vesa on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:22 am 

    Lela, that cheating spirit is a problem yazi! I’m praying over that spirit I tell you

  48. Ntombi Yomzulu on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:29 am 

    @bumbum Me I like how your husband thinks
    @zoesaldanah dont force it uyeza owakho love or you will end up ujola nanabani because of wanting to belong
    @lolington No.3, a must… I cannot date a person who has a job that pays him less than me! Tjo ngingafa nini? Aneva! I love innocent men…and intelligent/wise!<———This I so agree
    I also cant date a guy who does not have a car or his own apartment

  49. Lela on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:31 am 

    Mathaz you make sense yhazi, that can be the only explanation.

    LOL Vesa I know chomi. We must just keep praying yhazi,uJesu akahluleki.

  50. Kusihlwa on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:36 am 

    I think the problem with us women is that when God gives us the man that we prayed for but not in the beautiful package that we expected him to be in we dont take the time to stay with that person long enough to discover that he is what we need we just give up as soon as the hard times hit. How many of us are willing to stay with our partners if they lose thier jobs or decide that they want to quite work to focus on school or starting a business? If our partners earn less then we do we start comparing and evaluating how he should be earning better because we want an Audi like the one Ntoenhle drives. Married woman are unwilling to listen to thier partners when they point out that thier dress code is unapproprite (sp) for a married woman because we want to look sexy like the single ladies…but the point is your partner always wants the best for you and to protect what you have why cant you look for a compromise where ypu can still look sexy but in a dignified way. Instead of a mini wear a skirt that highlights you assets but is a bit above the knee. Just saying

  51. Mapakisha on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:37 am 

    @ dis—–>After the deed is done, act really cool – don’t sms, BBM, tweet about or call him – basically act like you don’t give a hoot about whether he takes it further or not.. because you know “you have lots of other guys after you”..

    I used to enjoy doing this, it’d be soo difficult at times cos u feel like “i’m so quiet, he myt think i’m a HO”, but then he calls all desperate & needy, hehehehe!!

  52. dejane on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:39 am 

    Guys nna I’m bothered by this ‘law of attraction’ and ‘you are what you attract’ theories. I’ve been single for a very long time, I’m quiet specific about they type of guy I want (maybe too picky), but I’m not willing to settle for second best shem.

    I’m worried about the type of guys I attract, some are just written ‘player’, but are just NOT my type. What does it say about you when you attract the jerks, players, or the dull type?

    I’ve recently met someone though, he’s a year younger than me.. We chat, see each other now and then. Everything is still new, so I won’t put a label to it, or get too excited yet.

  53. Ntombi Yomzulu on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:41 am 

    Bongi ushadele kumaZulu na? I know its my hardcore Zulu’s that does that. Hawe ma!!! I dont know how I would cope with that 6months wonke, ngingafa fi!!!

  54. asanwababe on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:44 am 

    @Mathaz, that is some deep stuff shem. Got me thinking.
    @Lela, guq’ uthandaze sisi. Nam’ shem I must pray, this spirit of being rejected by the men I like must go, in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. Amen!

  55. bongi on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:47 am 

    i have always wanted a man who:
    1. take me out
    2. dress like mr SA
    3. open doors for me
    4. dry the dishes – when i washing them
    5. change nappies while mna ndifaka i nailpolish
    6. will cook when he is at home
    7. who hates alcohol and doenst smoke
    8. who will move the mountain for me
    9. who will hire i charted airoplane to write i love in the sky

    im married to:
    1. doesnt want me to sleep in pjamas – kodwa yi winter
    2. doesnt mind eating umbeko the next day
    3. after calling to say i had a bad- ill come home to a bottle of wine..*he will turn me to a drunkard*
    4. irons his own clothes
    5. doesnt mind eating stale bread
    6. we will make plans to go out; come the day he will hand me the card go out..* i love this one* ngoba yena theres a game that is playing on the next ten minutes.
    7. will give me his money to keep – when he is drinking ..will return 80% of it..he will ask how much did you keep ndithi none..he knows me..
    8. will buy ugly clothes all in color purple and pink for the gals and say the sale chose them..mna wil say zintle kakhulu..ill take them back and change the colors
    9. he dresses at j crew edgars, queenspark and Romens..
    10. he doesnt like company ya bantu- very shy -so i have to beg and plead with him to go out to my friends braai..

    i love my hubby shame – he is not the what i have prayed for- he is better then what i prayed for..doesnt make me cry- doesnt cheat (i dont know any)..i hope he stays so ngoba i dont know how to deal with cheats shame..

  56. dejane on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:48 am 

    A colleague of mine introduced me to a poem titled ‘crucifixion type love’ google it please. You WILL love it.

  57. lolington kwaaa on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:48 am 

    Okay I love God, I’m a child of God, so do not get me wrong in what I’m about to say. So God aside,

    With regards to Lela’s story, yazi Lela I’ve only been in one serious relationship before the one I’m in now…hehehehehe yazi I always used to hear about people talking about guys who cheat and I never thought my first love would be such a cheat. The guy was the sweetest, and just like you I was u ‘mam’, the guy even threw me a birthday party and invited his people, colleagues and even his sferbs…he used to tell his sferbs about me, and they used to steal my number, call me and say whatever they wanted…guess what? I stayed….cause we were tight like that.
    When i eventually broke up with him it was a shock for everyone. I told myself never again! I noted down (well in my head) all the obvious signs of a guy who cheats and studied his behavior and everything.
    And now, like the guy you were engaged to, my guy is like that. a perfect gentleman. He’s always with me, but now we do not even hang out with other people. I know he will not cheat on me we’ve been together for a while and i’ve been trying to sabotage the relationship because as much as I’m happy, i’m bored! I feel like I’m skipping a stage in my life. It’s just too serious.

    So let’s leave God out of this and come to terms with the fact the we do not know what we want!

  58. Sips187 on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:48 am 

    @ Mathaz, please share how you taught your man to spoil you. My husband doesnt spoil me cos he feels I have enough money. I just want ichocolatenyana from him to say I was thinking about you. Its not the big gestures i want, just little tokens of appreciations

  59. bongi on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:52 am 

    @ ntombi yomzulu – im Xhosa xho…

    i think he spend time with people that influence him – ngoba he is not a talker shame; his mom is very modern and dreses very nice and fashionable – so mna ill look like his mom and his mom will look like me ke mos..he will come right wena..ndiyabona the marriage thing iyam exciter for now..i told him he needs to treat us with his coloured side – and his xhosa side he can practice when we need to do traditional rituals..

  60. vigilante on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:52 am 

    @asa me and you same boat shame, the ones i like always seem to play hard to get (like this one i met recently) and the ones i dont like jezzzas bazonginaka uyezwa… nxm and i cant do that “love the one you’re with” i want what i want nje

  61. Ntombi Yomzulu on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:53 am 

    Im not saying ukuthi you have to dress like a skank but be sexy in a classy way

  62. kimmo on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:53 am 

    lol bongi your hubby looks shy, judging from the pics

  63. Ntombi Yomzulu on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:59 am 

    so mna ill look like his mom and his mom will look like me ke mos..he will come right wena..ndiyabona the marriage thing iyam exciter for now..i told him he needs to treat us with his coloured side – and his xhosa side he can practice when we need to do traditional rituals..

    Kwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa at this

  64. sxylin on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:59 am 

    im feeding Tyler and just read Lela’s comment; you are a brutally honest person; i have noticed that with you what you see is what you get and that makes you a fiercely loyal person to the people close to you!
    If you are happy with the way your life is going i believe it doesnt matter where they buy your clothes because all those things fade anyway; i have tried to figure out why men cheat and a male friend has even been trying to help me look at things in a male perspective, but all i can say is Happiness does not equate money in your case Lela; you have been shopping at Mr Price and so why should your man not spoil you by that because it is what you like; why should you suddenly want him to buy you a dress at a designer store when you have survived these 30years and still are!i guess we can look at things like this in diff ways !

    I have decided to stop looking for problems in my marriage, because above the cheating, i am happy,fiercely loved and my children make the pain worth it; i have tried falling out of line with the 2 can play that game but at the end of the day; 2 can play that game is a messy one…. So with love there is pain these two go together and they make the journey worth it because you either come out stronger or destroyed! i continue to ask myself daily how i claim to be so happy with a man who hurts me; truth is he loves me and has proven it time and again, should i decide to look elsewhere who is to say i wont find something worse! Make the love you have work for you, if there is respect then its worth fighting for right? Love him or her in your own special way; there are no set rules in love*off to bed*

  65. Lela on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:04 pm 

    Wow Sxylin! *cries*

  66. lalakins on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:05 pm 

    u r very wise @ sxylin..

  67. bongi on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:06 pm 

    @ Kimmo hubby is very shy shame..yhoo wena intloni yazi..someone will knock at the door – he will walk into bedroom and close the door – and say kukho umntu emnyango, nje he avoids ukuthetha..uthi im the talker endlini..it has its advantages and disadavantages too..the school principal prefers dealing with him as me..ngba mna i told her where to get off when she took her time to give my kids photos..

  68. kimmo on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:09 pm 

    oh my gosh sxylin , am so proud of you “teary” WELL SAID!the truth is there is no marriage without problems, is either you choose to make it work or ignore it, which will make a turn for the worst! its not like jolling were youll say Wtf if he cheats so will i, or leave lol! its hard!

    and in lela’s case i think she is just comfortable in her own skin, and that makes her a better person!

  69. Mathaz on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:11 pm 

    @Sips…it is the little things…like spending his 90% of his salary on me and the children. At first he would not bother to put an effort in spoiling me, like he would use an excuse that since i earn more than him there is no need but i would have none of it. It’s buying me little things like hot wings after work en route to home. Getting me a phone that i really wanted without begging. This other time he was at Clicks and gave the phone to the beautician so i could tell her the products that i use for my face, just out of the blue.

    I know it is out of his comfort zone but the fact that he tries is a big plus. When i met him he was a truck driver working for his father and was one of those guys who sit ko de khoneng mo dimo ga di crate with di nguthu.

  70. Lela on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:15 pm 

    Kwaaaaaaaa @lollington that’s my fear ukuthi i don’t know what i want cz even as you talk about this your new guy mina that’s exactly what i do,i start sabotaging the relationship once it’s mr goodie two shoes. Ayi maybe i should just stick to abanqevu bam and just pray against isipirit sobufebe apha kubo cz they make me happy shem.

  71. Mathaz on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:16 pm 

    @Sxylin…forgiveness in any relationship is very important. We all have our burdens, they are just different.

  72. bongi on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:18 pm 

    ..there is really no perfect life out there..mna ive been told that by own family that i can better then him..coz he drinks, doesnt earn much, doesnt drive the latest what what..haibo mna i love him enje shame – that man makes me happy and he gave me beautiful kids..if we decide to eat brown bread and tea for supper – he eats it with us..i used to push him to be something that he is not- regret doing that. Now i have accepted him the way ayiyo and im happy.If utipile estulweni – i take off his shoes and close him with a blanket – in the past i used to let him sleep there agodole..i got rid of influental friends ndazimanyana with good ones..

  73. Lela on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:23 pm 

    LOL @Mathaz I just had to laugh at that. May i ask what he does now and what you do if you don’t mind i really wanna understand. Shem mna i get the gestures i love, like your hot wings, chocolate,clothing,petrol money,letters etc. They become very cute when coming from someone that you know it was probably his last 100 that he’s giving you for petrol.Let me pray that this guy becomes a millionaire while i still know his pin code,LOL.This other day he says how can i give you my card to keep when you already don’t have a cent and you got paid yeterday. Ayi nam i need divine financial intervention.

  74. sxylin on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:27 pm 

    When i met my husband (hehehe funny enough it was at a party) he was the serious one, our night out was going to a charity auction etc hehehe ayiii madoda and i was 22! i just thought nje i was in jail; like im being suffocated hahahaha eish but we do grow up shame and each night i thank God for giving him to me even though i never asked for him, he sent him my way for a reason, and today i know this because i would never have it any other way; he is the kind of man that when im sleeping like now its early morning when i go back to bed and he wakes up in a few hours and our son is up he will bathe him, dress him up take his bottles and put him in a car seat and go with him to work just so i can get some sleep; he takes him for swimming lessons he is a great father and i thank God for that everyday! i am blessed in more ways than one

  75. Mathaz on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:27 pm 

    He is a transport officer now at a govt. department eish ja neh…he met a clever woman in me I tell you, assisted in getting him where he is now with God’s help ofcourse. I work for the Auditor General so the salary gap is wide.

  76. Loulou on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:28 pm 

    I absolutely love the ladies here mo JC, I learn so much daily!
    I have been in every kind of relationship you can imagine (ecxept a physically abusive one). I appreciate every man because I have come out better and with more clarity for what I want. Right now I am madly in love with a man I can’t have, but because of our past – he doesn’t believe me! lol! However as number 2 says, I have taken responsibility and know for sure that I don’t want a relationship, the common factor in all failures is my lack of faith in men – it’s who I am and it will never change, I am just happier now :)

  77. Ntombi Yomzulu on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:30 pm 

    Sxylin excuse my ignorance babe, are you permanently based in New York or you just visiting?

  78. Mathaz on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:31 pm 

    @bongi i know what you are talking about, but we grow hey…..
    @Sxylin…there is nothing sexier than seeing how a man relates to his children.

  79. sxylin on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:32 pm 

    hahahaha eish Mathaz must be hard for him ! It takes a real man to suck all that up having a wife earn way more than you!

  80. sxylin on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:34 pm 

    for now yes Ntombi yomzulu

  81. Lela on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:34 pm 

    in the past i used to let him sleep there agodole..i got rid of influental friends ndazimanyana with good ones..kwaaaaaaaaa hayi maan.
    That’s another thing with us women we are very concerned about friends and listen to what they say, so if they say mna sana soze ndihlale nendoda endijoleleyo soze nawe u dump him to please them. Mna id let them know ba yeyam le ndoda ndim nalo ujolelweyo and as long as ndisamthanda naye esandithanda and esandi respecta im gonna stay.

    I remmeber how negetive some friends were about my relationship with Baby Daddy Number 1′s wife. Like the guy got married and they said they will be involved in the child’s life and support her financially. The agreement was if i want anything i talk to the wife. Till today wifey is so good with my child, picks her for her visits, calls to check on her, pays her school fees, she is on medical aid. Why then would i wanna call the guy cz he is not my dad and we are not friends so the arrangement works well for me. Yho friends, hayi sana she is faking it, kona why must you talk to her you didnt make the child with her mos. I can bet you now that had i listed to them i wouldn’t be having such a great relationship with my child’s step mom and my daughter wouldn’t be having a relationship with her dad. Soze uvane nomfazi wendioda uloku ufonela indoda yake, it is normal for her to feel threatned by you and resent your child as a result.

  82. Lela on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:39 pm 

    Wow Mathaz that’s great. I pick up that you are a real woman of God who understands that submission is not about the number of 0s in his account but naye he is a real man for him not to be threatned by you. Wise woman indeed!

  83. Smatsatsa on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:41 pm 

    Haai Lela, inkinga inawe, so you basically saying that you don’t want a swet man, ufuna aba abawrong? Ingathi you don’t know what you’re looking for..

  84. pinksoul on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:43 pm 

    @Lollington kwaa “he used to tell his sferbs about me, and they used to steal my number, call me and say whatever they wanted…guess what? I stayed….cause we were tight like that.” <—- i just recently broke up with him

    @Dejane "I’m worried about the type of guys I attract, some are just written ‘player’, but are just NOT my type. What does it say about you when you attract the jerks, players, or the dull type?" <—-This is me!

  85. Sips187 on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:46 pm 

    Wow Mathaz, I respect your man for loving you in spite of the fact that you earn more than him. Mina i’m accused of throwing my money in his face even though he earns more than me. Im very independent, if he doesn’t do something for me,I make a plan shem. Mara I still wanna be bought the hot wings on his way home:(
    @ Sxylin, wise words, my mom told me exactly those words after I wanted to do a Kim Kardashian and divorce ‘AGAIN’ after just two months of marriage. Marriage is not easy but when its good, its very good

  86. lolington kwaaa on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:46 pm 

    Hahahahahahaha! Hhay Lela ingathi isiminingi kakhulu manje imithandazo oyidingayo!
    Eish guys, some guys are sweet out there, the best I tell you. I wonder if my guy deserves me, I feel like hhe deserves better shame, indlela engiyi hopeless ngayo!

  87. Ntombi Yomzulu on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:48 pm 

    Marry me spell
    Professional spells caster Contact: 0784711597….couldnt help but laugh at this ay Lelo these adverts zakho kwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  88. Smatsatsa on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:49 pm 

    Wow Lela, your baby daddy no 1′s wifey (quiet a title) is a strong woman hey, I respect woman who can deal with such, they really bring peace and joy :) Now you sleep better at night knowing that your child is well taken care of, that’s really aawesome..

  89. asanwababe on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:50 pm 

    Uyazi when I read the experiences lana of the married bloggers, I wonder if I’ll be able to handle marriage. It seems it’s all about forgiveness, ukunyamezela and knowing (or maybe hoping???) that wena as the mam’ (main dish) you are loved and at the end of it all, he comes back to you.

    Right now, I don’t know if it would work for me. I don’t know if I’d be able to forgive a man who cheats, maybe the first time, but continuously, I don’t think so. Once the trust is gone, it’s difficult to get it back.
    I’d be one bitter main dish.

  90. kimmo on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:57 pm 

    @asanwababe, it will work for you when the time is right, it happens naturally LOL, phela akere you wont be focusing on the bad only there also the good

  91. KhimKhadasheni on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:58 pm 

    @Smang-Mang, I’ve tried that and its backfired badly! The guy just assumes that, because of my aloof attitude towards our “thing”, I don’t want more out of the r/ship. Then it just remains a fling. For years even! What then?

  92. Sips187 on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 12:59 pm 

    asamwababe, its not all bad, trust me. Not all men cheat> I think what we’re trying to say is you will not be happy 100% of the time. Even if he doesnt cheat, it will be something else that will require you to have strenght. It iw worth it though. This is my 2nd marriage & I’ve lived the single life to my hearts content, I still choose marriage over being single.

  93. Lady Zee on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 1:00 pm 

    Haai,reading all the above has just made me miserable…kanti why cant men just love us and be committed nje??
    #postpones wedding for the hundredth time and cues umthwalo wam#

  94. sxylin on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 1:08 pm 

    hahahahaha @asanwababe; its more of looking at your union differently than when you were alone; marriage can be a test for u to coexist with someone; its rough waking up next to one person 24/7/365 but its also rough waking up alone or with Joe today, Jake tommorow and Monwabisi the next; too exhausting!

  95. sxylin on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 1:11 pm 

    Lady Zee he will eventually be tired; dont regret your choices; make them once and if you feel you want your freedom let the poor guy go!

  96. Lela on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 1:14 pm 

    Haai Lela, inkinga inawe, so you basically saying that you don’t want a swet man, ufuna aba abawrong? Ingathi you don’t know what you’re looking for..Ba sweet nje nabo qha bathanda amantombaza. I don’t know indoda echappies gives me creeps. Indoda engathi nje ndiyi jackpot kuye cha ngeke i don’t know like i said yingxaki le.

  97. Ntombi Yomzulu on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 1:17 pm 

    Ay shame I dont care how marriage is like all i know is that I still want to get married shame and Im praying for that good, God fearing,kind, intellingent, sweet and not broke man who will understand me and me understand him. I still want to get married I dont care who says what

  98. asanwababe on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 1:20 pm 

    Y’all speak a lot of sense shem. I’m probably thinking like this because I’m not married and not in that situation. I’m being naive, I guess.

    @Lady Zee, hahahahahahahahaha! Are you being serious?

  99. Lady Zee on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 1:30 pm 

    @Sxylin its not freedom that i want,its life-long commitment. I have never been cheated on neh but the thought of him cheating on me after vowing before God and all is what kills me. I have this tendency to think that someday,somehow hes gonna cheat just like most if not all men.
    @asanwababe ke serious!!

  100. kimmo on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 1:34 pm 

    @ladyzee but if he doesnt cheat now wat makes you think he will, and not every marriage problem is about cheating,

  101. asanwababe on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 1:34 pm 

    @Lady Zee how many times have you postponed? What does your fiance say?

  102. Fezzy on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 1:35 pm 

    For the first time in my dating life, Im with a man who will neva lift a finger at me but I sometimes…no most of the time find myself missing my abusive ex.
    I dont miss the abuse but I miss his muscular body (my current is just a tooth pick shem), I miss the kind of protection he gave me and I miss the sex. Current is good but bgeke afike ku ex. *sigh*

    I really think Im stupid cos current is so good to me. Hates to see me sad (ex didnt care, I cud cry till I turn blue if I wanted to), he is not rich but he does a lot of things for me. He doesnt cheat (if he does, he hides it really well).

    Now why do I always find myself thinking about my abusive ex? I have even moved to avoid finding myself in places that would remind me of him.

    Lela, pls include me in your prayers.

  103. asanwababe on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 1:39 pm 

    “(my current is just a tooth pick shem)” hahahahahahahahahaha @Fezzy.

  104. sxylin on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 1:39 pm 

    @Ladyzee ibuhlungu ke leyo cos sometimes you have to just take the plunge; u r looking out for signs and waiting for him to cheat ; thats no way to live life; you will discover one sweet day that you have missed out on a lot in your life because you have been self sabotaging;

    On the other hand if you live like your life is perfect (like your partner will never cheat) hehehehe the rude awakening is rough baby hehehehe ask me i hold a doctorate on rude awakenings

  105. LadyMillion on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 1:41 pm 

    Soze uvane nomfazi wendioda uloku ufonela indoda yake, it is normal for her to feel threatned by you and resent your child as a result.

    @Lela…so much truth in this

  106. Smang-mang Warona on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 1:42 pm 

    @Khim Khadasheni – then he just isn’t that into you. If he really wanted you, he would make sure he gets you even if it means asking you to leave “your man”.. If he doesnt make his move soon enough for you – you should just move on to the next.. a man who really wants you will never let anything or anyone stand in his way.

  107. LadyMillion on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 1:45 pm 

    @Mathaz is a good woman, who respects her husband…many woman who earn more than their spouses make it a point that he feels inferior and useless.no man will ever stay in a home where he feels less of a man. i salute you woman!

  108. Lady Zee on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 1:48 pm 

    @kimmo,let me take a sit and you count the number of men in ur circle of friends that dont cheat….dont worry ill wait.

    @asanwababe,twice already, hes such a darling but i can see that its starting to irritate him. But i also feel that i should deal with my demons now other than getting into a marriage with one foot out the door.

    @Sxylin…THANK YOU!!its those rude awakening that i do not want.I guess in essence im preparing my poor heart for the day he does cheat…sad bt ke life!!

  109. Sips187 on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 1:50 pm 

    Eish Fezzy, i know what you mean re: sex. Mr Soul Mate used to rock my me & reduce me to tears. Hubby is just okay. I also need to be prayed for, how do I get over him. Im robbing myself & hubby of complete happiness. I tend to compare & i know i shouldn’t

  110. nomthwalo on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 1:50 pm 

    I would like to take this moment and thank Sxylin and Lela. I’m going through something(wont mention it here) but you just gave me hope and made me look at things with a different view.

  111. LadyMillion on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 1:54 pm 

    @Fezzzy…dont we just love the bad boyz

  112. kimmo on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 2:00 pm 

    ladyzee am not saying that men dont cheat – in my case i dont know if my husband is cheating or not he might be, but he is hiding it so well then and just wonder when he gets the time, oh well maybe when am at work i dont know, but then you cant be scared of commiting yourself to this guy cause you scared hore what if he cheats, isnt he donig it now while you still dating, what will be the difference then??will the pain be different?? i dont know if i make sense?

  113. asanwababe on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 2:02 pm 

    @Lady Zee, don’t let a good man go, while you deal with your issues. It seems like you have yourself a good man, who is very patient. Shuda, wuda, cuda is not a nice song to sing, don’t make him wait too long nana. Maybe he can help you work through your demons.

  114. sxylin on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 2:08 pm 

    A wise woman who decided to be a silent blogger today told me i must never lookfor an exit in marriage; if you are always ready to leave then you are betraying your union; live like there is no tommorow do your best for your union!

    I always wonder what men look for outside when they cheat because nami nje, id like to think im eye candy nyana, i do him on demand*giggles* ( i love talking about sex hahaha) i cook well not really but i really try to make our lives interesting;we talk shop because i understand his line of work; so instead of asking why i think we should just focus our energies on something else ! Life is tough but make the journey worth it like Lolo always says

  115. dejane on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 2:09 pm 

    Reading all your comments has made me realise that i have never really been in love, to the extent where i’d do anything for my significant other.

    I sometimes fear that i may not be marriage material. I’m so picky, which sort of makes me petty and way too judgemental towards the opposite sex. I forget that I too have my own flaws, yet i’m too quick to point out other people’s flaws and mistakes.

  116. bongi on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 2:13 pm 

    men cheat right- but that should not be on our minds 24/7. I dont believe that all of them do; mine used to be a womaniser when he was young- i think he has reached his sell by date in that dept…*shrugs** but i dont say he is not cheating or he cant cheat. The thing is if your partner is cheating – he shouldn’t make it obvious, he shoulndt change his usual self, he shouldn’t sleep out. Mna i dont snoop and go into phones- and harras him about his whereabouts. As long as i know where his salary is going to cent for cent – then im still grand, BUT if kukho i difference in his money and he cant explain it – then kuzokunyiwa shame..yitya isifebe and leave our money alone.Believe neso sifebe will dump him eventually ngoba she wont even get i airtime ye R5.00 from him ngendlela nje endiyi reconciler ngayo imali yakwam. If its a office fling, then she will be happy with toilet quickies ke – ngoba mna if anga fika late from work several times – then uyajola ke finish..

  117. asanwababe on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 2:15 pm 

    Wena Sxylin, you talk (write?) a lot of sense shem.

  118. Mathaz on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 2:16 pm 

    Tjo guys you just don’t know how hard i have fought him in pursuit of peace, which did not help by the way. At first when we got married, we could not see eye to eye. The clashes were too many plus i am a christian so i thought that i married a sinner. He is a drinker shem. So i thought our union was not blessed and wanted to leave and there was no peace at home. I just could not understand his drinking habits. I believed i was unequally yoked so i thought God was not on my side. Our pastor really helped us.

    Nowadays, i even pick him up at his drinking place so the minute i realised that i could not leave without him and he also can’t without me, was the beginning of a new found love. I can never change him and he will quit when he is ready.

  119. Mathaz on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 2:19 pm 

    Leave vs live

  120. Ntombi Yomzulu on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 2:20 pm 

    I admire you Mathaz shame

  121. LadyMillion on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 2:23 pm 

    As long as i know where his salary is going to cent for cent!

    Thatha Bongi! imali yakwakho kwaaa waze wangiqeda

  122. Lady Zee on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 2:26 pm 

    @Kimmo,yes the pain would be different(i think)…bcz he would be my husband…who promised to be faithful to me before God,my parents and the world. If he was to cheat now,hed be gone by the time i get home. He owes me nothing because he hasnt made any vows…

    @asanwababe he just doesnt understand why i have such thoughts because he ‘says’ would never do such…*sigh*

    Eish yazi feeling this way just cant be life…

  123. asanwababe on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 2:33 pm 

    Sometimes @Lady Zee, when one fears that one would cheat on their boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse, one tends to accuse said boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse of cheating or perhaps expect that they would cheat. Is this the case with you?

  124. Sips187 on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 2:39 pm 

    @ sxylin thank you for this—> i must never lookfor an exit in marriage; if you are always ready to leave then you are betraying your union; live like there is no tommorow do your best for your union!
    I’m making these words my screen saver.

  125. LadyMillion on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 2:39 pm 

    @Lady Zee..definitely cannot be life.you cant live life in fear. Has he cheated on you before…this can not be the only reason you dont wanna go ahead, just because u are afraid ONE DAY HE WILL CHEAT??

  126. DrDee on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 2:40 pm 

    @sxylin my friend who has been married for 15 years said that you are on the right track.And she says that you are too wise for ur age.She has a lot to share but is failing to register.

  127. asanwababe on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 2:45 pm 

    @DrDee, ask your friend to email Lelo with her preferred username and password and Lelo will get her registered.

  128. Nokxie on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 2:49 pm 

    1. Ask If He Has A Girlfriend

    I dont ask, assume you already have one

  129. sxylin on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 2:49 pm 

    hahahahahaha i am honoured Dr Dee thank you so much

  130. mbulela on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 2:59 pm 

    This is JC at it’s best. No sane person can silent blog this one. Strength to all the JC ladies.

  131. GeePee on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 2:59 pm 

    Sho bantu reading your stories, hhayi ninginika ithemba nam’ngizoshada…

  132. girliegal on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 3:02 pm 

    Ladies you are making me second guess myself about my decision to divorce my husband…

  133. Lady Zee on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 3:03 pm 

    @asanwababe no thats not the case with me,
    @LadyMillion no he hasnt.
    I think im just too paranoid…

  134. LadyMillion on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 3:06 pm 

    @girliegal…any one reason that stands out that makes you want out.if they were to say put it in one sentence what would you say

  135. kimmo on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 3:10 pm 

    @ladyzee are you sure thats the only problem though? cause i dont think that one can be scared of something they never experienced, just marry that man if you love him

  136. asanwababe on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 3:12 pm 

    @LadyZee just checking nana.

  137. mbulela on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 3:18 pm 

    my often drunk neighbour used to say;
    Don’t ask,else you would be told lies.
    Don’t ask else you would be told what your heart does not want to hear.
    I did not agree with him but it seems lots of people work on that premise.

  138. girliegal on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 3:19 pm 

    I cant put it in one sentence, but we dont get along. WE have no common interests, we compete and are jealous of each others achievements – one always wants to outdo the other. Im no longer sexually attracted to him. He is mean. Im a bitch. there’s more I can say, but He is also a good father and a provider.

  139. Phindy on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 3:20 pm 

    I look @ it ths way, take 2 grown up individuals, different sexes (well mostly), born & raised in different households, each with their own unique personality & put them in the same house. Ur basically taking abantu ababili abangafani, abanokucabanga ngendlela engafani uthi abahlale together & find common ground. Its hard but doable. It requires a lot of love, communication & respect (amoungst other things) to make it work.

  140. sxylin on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 3:39 pm 

    hahahahaha yoh! girliegal so much resentment between people with kids; how long have you been married; maybe you are not trying hard enough; are you a spiritual person; maybe you need to pray sit him down sometimes the only thing needed in a relationship is humility; xa uzehlisa wena and make him feel like a man! Respect your husband dont insult him be the bigger person

  141. Smatsatsa on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 3:40 pm 

    @girliegal if you’ve made peace with it in your heart and feel like you’ve explored every avenue possible then you’re not at fault, but if you still feel like there’s that one little shot, then do try..

    How did you guys manage to build a relationship if you don’t get along? Have things always been like that or did the resentment build up gradually??

  142. Smatsatsa on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 3:42 pm 

    @girliegal are you a spiritual person if I may ask?

  143. fabulicious on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 3:43 pm 

    @Lela and Lollington what’s ur star signs?????

  144. sxylin on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 3:45 pm 

    @Smatsatsa your avatar is befitting! hahahaha; girliegal you never hated him before try to retrace the steps where you lost it!

    Dr Dee im still waiting to hear from you

  145. Sips187 on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 3:48 pm 

    Girliegal, I’m sure you can resolve this. It takes a strong and wise woman to humble themselves. You don’t always have to be right or have the last word. Maybe you need to be the one that folds and be his cheerleader. Ayikho indoda eperfect, uzoba qeda bokhe. Try being nice to him, and see if he doesn’t treat you differently as well. Pray sisi

  146. kimmo on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 3:55 pm 

    @girliegirl men sometimes dont wanna feel like you are competing lebona, they always wanna be “thee man” or the “breadwinner” (if you know what i mean) you being adimissive to them etc, mara when you say you jeolous of each other’s acheivments then thats a scary part, humble yourself

  147. Mathaz on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 4:03 pm 

    @Sips well said.

  148. nana on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 4:14 pm 

    1. Ask If He Has A Girlfriend

    I dont ask, assume you already have one…LMAO Nokxie, you’ve finished me. Thank you sooo much ladies for sharing this…As crazy as you all are sometimes, you have such goo heads above your shoulders and I’m so happy our “paths” “crossed”. All the best in your relationships. Sxylin I wish to meet you some day!

  149. sxylin on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 4:18 pm 

    hahahaa nana yes meeting is inevitable with some of you here; soon

  150. Mojito on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 4:21 pm 

    Ku tough mos! I am in a dilemma guys enkulu futhi, kukhona isoka engihlekisana nalo, but this guys have bnerver professed his love for me< we do everything lovers do, we spend a lot of time together, he truly makes me happy & we have been at it now for about from February, he is the sweetest, akabhudi noI love you lo! & I know he isn’t seeing anyone, but naye udlala ukushuma nje ngami. & asking him is not even an option… I am way happier that my friends who are in “I love you kinda relationships” we are like good music together… Should I maybe give him sometime to come out or maybe accept that sisdididi nje esinjena? Cha sizani bo… #Andile Khumbulekhaya’s voice

  151. shortT on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 4:35 pm 

    @Sips187 how old were you when you first got married, and how long did it last. How old where you when you married for the 2nd time and how long did you wait before the second marriage?

  152. Lela on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 4:38 pm 

    @Fabu I’m a Virgo.

  153. sk1 on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 4:45 pm 

    hai hai lana mara njalo o fitlha go tletsi ke di comments…:-)
    waves @Fezzy

    Hello ma bloggers

  154. Sips187 on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 4:46 pm 

    @shortT, got married when i was 22, divorced at 25. Got married again at 31 and have been married for a year now

  155. bongi on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 4:48 pm 

    @ lela im a virgo too…hubby taurus, but ke i do believe in stars…dont even read mna, dont even know my kids stars …***shrugs*** is there somethin wrong with me?

  156. sxylin on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 4:56 pm 

    hahahaha Bongi no maaaaaaaaaaan !

  157. Lela on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 5:06 pm 

    Nam Bongi don’t believe in them and sure don’t know my kids’. Someone was asking me what star sign is Nhanha I just stared at them and they asked for the date and month, can’t even remember what star sign they said she was.

  158. Brown Shuga on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 5:48 pm 

    You don’t know how relieved I am to come here and find comments lol. Thought nizothi this is boring. Thanks so much for sharing ladies, WOW at the stories! We learn every day

  159. lolington kwaaa on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 5:50 pm 

    I’m a LEO @Fabulicious

  160. lolington kwaaa on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 5:54 pm 

    @Bongi and Lela, nami yazi. I did not even know what star sign I was until it was forced down my throat (you know those people who allow annoy you asking you what your star sign is and then read it out loud for you! ugh!).

  161. bongi on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 6:46 pm 

    …kwa..kwa..kwa so theres nothin wrong with me…i didnt even know how to pronounce it..he..he..he….

  162. bumbum on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 7:33 pm 

    This is School of Life, @Mathaz I salute you.

    When I met hubby I was 17 and he had a Diploma but he was not working so I used to give him my pocket money so he can buy that local newspaper afune umsebenzi and now he’s a Engineer Specialist and he knew from there that I’m the keeper he loves me and adores me. We are struggling to concieve and he always assures me that even if we don’t have kids he does and will forever love me for who I am. He has not cheated on me for 8 years now @LadyZee so make a wise decision.

  163. Eyh2Jee on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 8:19 pm 

    Can I marry you Bongi please or recommend a good single friend ofana nawe ;) yah my type nje.

  164. DrDee on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 8:40 pm 

    This is for @lela.I kinda get what you saying about the cheating guys you attract.I think your subconcious mind is so afraid of being cheated on and they say we die from what we fear the most.I had a fear of rejection for a long time and guess what I attracted all the time everytime.People who rejected me.So you need to let go of this fear/complex.Reject it in the name of the Lord.And I think the guy that bored you was ur God given one.You know as Christians when we reject God’s will how we end up going round and round in circles not moving forward.Pray and fast for what it is God is telling you and it will be well.Am also praying for ur revelation to come soon.

  165. Jahara on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 8:46 pm 

    Wow…you ladies…I’m stunned beyond belief! You are amazing! & I love u all. @sxylin yoh…very wise!

    Well,been engaged to my man since Feb. There are times when I just wanna walk away & give up on us,but he’s the pillar that holds our love together. He knows my fears & always help me overcome them. I’m like a toddler who’s still learning to walk,& he’s always there besides me,ready to catch me when I fall.

    Mom once asked me: “if your man were to lose everything that he has,would you still love him?” & that taught me to love my man for who he is,not what he can do for me,because if I were to love him for what he has,then what will become of the relationship once he loses all? So the one blogger that said she’d never date a guy who has no car,u really have to think long & hard about that. His car won’t make him love u more.

  166. DrDee on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 9:05 pm 

    @lela and @noance.As for boring men I think both you gals are fun loving and adventurous.Slowly and not forcefully introduce new and fun activities into ur lives with the boring guys.A guy once said that some of these things like being romantic and fun have to be taught to African brothers.So as long as all avenues of communication are open you keep talking and suggesting.You can even tell them you want to be suprised so can he research some fun activities.Small small girls Rome wasn’t built in a day.And remember you will also be praying so it will be well.

  167. isis on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 10:11 pm 

    Sxylin and Mathaz, woman i salute u! Wow.
    Ever came accross Fascinating Womanhood by Hellen Andelin? @girlie… If u like reading try it before u break “it” off, you can google it first then decide if u want a copy. Sxylin sounds like the woman who wrote the book. Thank u to every1 who shared their stories, today ive learnt.

  168. only_child on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 10:34 pm 

    Well said DrDee.
    I also fear being cheated on,so more often than not,I wait…for someone to mess up. In April,I was grocery shopping with my one-year old son and he’s just recently started walking and I had just put him down and I looked and ngwana-DONTI!! Before I even got frantic,this guy comes into the aisle carrying bigboi and smiles and says “belong to u?”. Be ke re eya,Tanki. So cut a long story short,we walked out of the store at the same time,he helped me put the groceries in the car. Asked for my number,gave it to him and we’ve been hanging out since then. Dude treats me and BigBoi like royalty. But I’m waiting…waiting for him to mess up. I did ask if he says someone in his life and he said no. And yes,I know “you create what u fear” but I JUST can’t help it. The type of man I’ve always wanted o teng,jwale ke aahlame ke tonne mahlo waiting for something that might not happen. I don’t get me sometimes!!nxa!

  169. DrDee on Wed, 4th Jul 2012 11:22 pm 

    @only child.Don’t let ur fear control you.Live everyday to the fullest and don’t let this fear rob you of ur joy.Imagine all the hours of hapiness you miss out on by being afraid.Don’t lead that great guy to cheat.And don’t look for any signs.

  170. Thase on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 3:29 am 

    Wow inspiring stories ladies. You are my role models. I think the problem with us ladies is we like to judge guys by what our exes did. If the ex cheated, you’ll always think that the new guy will be like the last and no some do have good intentions. A guy friend of mine once told me that men cheating has nothing to do with them not loving their wives, but just a spirit of lust that needs prayer. He said that he will not cheat on his wife because he knows what God expects of him and because he lives by the word, he knows he will be accountable for his own life come judgement day.

    So lets stop being afraid of life, not enjoying it to the full beacuse we are scared of rejection, of things not going the ways we want, that things will not change, thats things will change and just live for today and be grateful for all we have. Don’t stop living and JUST DO EVERYTHING IT AFRAID.

  171. Letebele on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 3:59 am 

    Oh ya’ll are depressing me! *grabs tissue and starts blowing my nose* Does anyone want ice cream?

    Love is depressing me*cries until 6am*

  172. Soso on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 7:50 am 

    Morning Bloggers.

    Am currently reading The secrets letters of the monk who sold his ferrari and there’s an extract about embracing our fears : “What holds us back in life is the invisible architecture of fear. It keeps us in our comfort zones,which are,in truth,the least safe places in which to live. Indeed,the greatest risk in life is taking no risks. But every time we do that which we fear,we take back the power that fear has stolen from us-for on the other side of fears lives our strength. Every time w step into the discomfort of growth and progress,we become more free. The more fears we walk through,the more power we reclaim. In this way,we grow both fearless and powerful,and thus are able to live the lives of our dreams”

  173. Lady Zee on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 8:03 am 

    Dumelang kaofela….
    I think @only_child and i have the same “waiting for him to fcuk up” syndrome!!
    ok here goes…

    So yesterday out of the blue nje the fiance says he cant take the waiting anymore,if i cant trust him to do me right in future then what am i still doing with him,that me having some sort of ‘room for dissapointment’ is degrading and that im subbotaging a good thing blah blah blah…

    Sooo i gues this is it then 6th Oct,we will be having our traditional wedding.

  174. sxylin on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 8:13 am 

    guys what is this that i read about Pearl Thusi being taken in by the police because some rapist said she can lead them to the rest of the bodies of the rape victims?

  175. Vesa on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 8:25 am 

    @sxylin……where did you read that?

  176. gudgal on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 8:29 am 

    O_0 just saw what @sexylin said
    http://entertainment.howzit.msn.com/pearl-thusi-taken-in-for-questioning

  177. Vesa on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 8:31 am 

    @only child, just relax and enjoy the ride! Stop waiting for bad things to happen. They may or may not happen, that’s the risk you take when you get involved with someone.

  178. kimmo on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 8:36 am 

    GUYS DID YOU WATCH DINES DIARY ON VUZU YESTERDAY?

  179. Ms Keri on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 8:46 am 

    Finally Logged in Thank you BS…@Kimmo i watched it yesterday it was interesting and her bf is just yummy…

  180. Noance on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 8:52 am 

    Bathong how crazy is that article ya Pearl Thusi? Hai need more clarity on that shame.

  181. nana on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 8:57 am 

    Hai I dont trust anything from that Facebook rapist nje mina…How would Pearl know? She must be careful, maybe that guy wants her now…Can someone with more details explain tu! Tjo!!

  182. Mapakisha on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 9:16 am 

    In other SAD news…. Frank Ocean is gay*weepsuncontrollably*

  183. Vesa on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 9:19 am 

    Tjo….there’s even a picture with the police? I wonder what’s going on there

  184. bongi on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 9:23 am 

    goodmorning bloggers..

    but why would the rapist just say Pearl Thusi ke..someone somehow something is smelling of intlanzi ..

  185. Noance on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 9:26 am 

    @Mapakisha Its such sad news,the pool just keeps getting smaller shame! La ma doda are not serious.

    @Bongi this story sounds like an episode of punked waiting to happen shame!

  186. Jellytot on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 9:29 am 

    wow! i wonder who tipped the paparazzi about pearl , those pictures are bright and good quality.
    i watched dineos diary, her bf is yummy bathong, at first i thought he was nigerian!
    tjo so bonang and euphonik went to court this week, she was even wearing all stars.

  187. bongi on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 9:35 am 

    …@ Noance lets wait for Pearl to clear the air for us wethu..i hope its not true yazi..

  188. Noance on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 9:35 am 

    @Jellytot I’m sure she was wearing all stars incase she had to run for dear life! Phela this mini loaf eya hlanya phela!

  189. Noance on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 9:36 am 

    @Bongi, shame I cant wait to hear what happening lapho vele.

  190. inURdreams on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 9:43 am 

    I don’t believe this facebook rapist one bit. These criminals love saying things that are inconsistent so that they sound delusional in order to escape the arms of the law. I’m sure some doctor is gonna diagnose him with temporary insanity and recommend a mental institution rather than a prison cell for this horny Mother Fcuker.

  191. Gomolemo on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 9:47 am 

    I think i rushed to the divorce too early without trying to mend my marriage, too late now, but after reading all the comments above i wonder if i didnt make the biggest mistake. Im engaged now and happy, but i see the familiar signs on my fiance and that ex hubby also possessed. Re tla bona teng.

    I read not long ago that Pearl Thusi was nearly a victim of this “facebook rapist”, he claims they met and he was planning to kill her, but she (pearl) prayed so hard and convinced him to let her go…….

  192. asanwababe on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 9:51 am 

    @LadyZee, I’m happy for you love. It’s like your man was reading our posts yesterday :)

    @Dr Dee, I would like to get in touch you with, if you don’t mind. My email add: asanwababe@gmail.com.

  193. Mapakisha on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 9:57 am 

    I kwaaaaad so hard when Glen Lewis(who I Pray is still straight) said this morning “Franky Ocean has jumped out of the walldrope” & was sad a few minutes later. I guess there’s hope though, seeing that Mveleli Qwewde(sp) has turned straight again. Mhlaumpe all the gay hunks will come back to us, lol

  194. Kusihlwa on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 9:58 am 

    TV presenter Pearl Thusi was taken in for questioning on Tuesday by a Gauteng crime intelligence officer in Johannesburg. This came after Thabo Bester, also known as the Facebook rapist, claimed that Thusi could lead police to the bodies of more victims.

    Haai bathong, why would Bester chose Pearl out of all people?

  195. Mapakisha on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 9:58 am 

    that rapist is just buying time shem, uhlanyela uPearl..

  196. Kusihlwa on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 9:59 am 

    @Kimmo, I did but it was not all that I thought it would be but its seems like it heating up next week. I like Dineo though, by the way what does her boyfriend do?

  197. Miranda on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 10:14 am 

    @LadyZee , your fiance is a silent blogger.LOL

  198. BlindFold on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 10:14 am 

    @Kusihlwa he said he makes music (hip hop) for abomrapper ba la emzantsi

  199. Vesa on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 10:16 am 

    @Kusi….gotwe Pearl nearly became the victim of this guy. He took her to some place where he has buried some of his victim’s bodies. The rapist said that Pearl didn’t know this, but the place he took her to, is the place where the bodies have been buried. So Pearl can help the police by taking them to that particular place.

  200. kimmo on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 10:21 am 

    for me it was just all over the show, too much talking nje, plus honestly how does one sleep in a resturant cause her bf is late , and aghain that bohle comment lol , anyway ill keepp on watching, its new and i like dineo and her blouse.

  201. kimmo on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 10:23 am 

    hahahaha@ladyzee i didnt see your comment! all the best

  202. asanwababe on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 10:23 am 

    @Vesa, that is just hectic. So Pearl is lucky to be alive? Tjo!!!

  203. Vesa on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 10:30 am 

    Dineo’s show…..I dunno! It just felt like the rest. Same script different cast.

  204. kimmo on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 10:33 am 

    “oppppps nonhle comment”

  205. only_child on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 10:42 am 

    @Lady Zee,I’m with Miranda there hey. He’s watching you lol! All the best :-)
    @Gomolemo doll,you’ve been given a 2nd chance.GO AT IT HARD!! Best wishes to the brides
    .

  206. Noance on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 10:58 am 

    Eish Guys I’m so frustrated! I work for man who has no idea what his doing and I end up have to do his work and all. His the deputy head of department! O dom dom dom and thinks his clever.

    I’m waiting to hear on whether I got the job I got interviewed for. I should know by next week.

  207. Kusihlwa on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 10:58 am 

    ohhh ok, thanks @Blindfold and Vesa. I get it now.

  208. Sips187 on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 11:17 am 

    Hi Ladies, thought I should share this with you as a reminder to us all:
    POINTS ON HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE

    1. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
    2. Don’t have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment
    3. Don’t over do; keep your limits
    4. Don’t take yourself so seriously; no one else does
    5. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip
    6. Dream more while you are awake
    7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
    8. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner of his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
    9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
    10. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present
    11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you
    12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn.
    Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
    13. Smile and laugh more
    14. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

  209. Mapakisha on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 11:21 am 

    @Sips nice pointers ne but number 5! Hayi ngeke, that’s what everyone comes here(JC) for, hehehe!!

  210. Nthoentle on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 11:21 am 

    My sister was also kidnapped by this Thabo Bester person! He is insane!!!

    The comments on love are really interesting and some true. I’m scared to comment cos I’m not so anon here, Eish. I must get another username

  211. bumbum on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 11:23 am 

    S’yakhuleka ekhaya kwa JC!

    Did Pearl open a case about that almost raped thing or its just BANG you were almost raped too. If its true thank God she’s ok!

    @LadyZee all the best of the best for you nana and umshado uyathandazelwa sisi so many things can go wrong on that day. Mine was like I was watching a movie and couldn’t do anything anywho it was the best day with its trouble.

    They always say they are many fish in the sea but from the way our boys are turning into girls that should change soon. “They are less fish and more prawns in the sea”

    Wishing you all a good one!

  212. Noance on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 11:26 am 

    @Nthoentle is ur sister Keri baby who was on the greyhound?

    @Sips number 2 is my battle… *sigh*

  213. Nthoentle on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 11:31 am 

    @Noance-no. My sister was kidnapped with 5 other ladies and thank God none of them got hurt.

  214. bumbum on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 11:40 am 

    @Nthoentle thank God they were all unhurmed I think these rapist are devil worshipers no sane person can have that courage to do that painfull thing to another human being. We must continue to pray for our country its getting worse by the day.

    @Noance something good will come your way nana just wait it all on the Lord he knows what you need and he will give it to you just in time.

  215. bumbum on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 11:47 am 

    @Mapakisha ungakhali, just don’t fish in the sea try swimming pools and ponds. Abasekho ofishi elwandle badlana bodwa manje! Kwaaaaa

  216. Neria on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 11:50 am 

    Hi my name is ****and i am a blogger (AA style)

    Thanks BS for the topic…

    I agree with Vesa and Letebele on #1 and # 3

    I ask when i first meet someone but for some reason, they always feel the need to lie to me, not sure whether my long bouts of Sahara desert then cloud my better judgement or what, but i always fall for it. The last one lied and only told the truth 6 months into the relationship, nna ke setse ke tsene ka maoto le dinala, kemo file gotlhe le dikokomana tsa yone *hides* anyway, after a month of haggling i decided to let him go although the dude could “dance” Yhuuu…

  217. Mapakisha on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 11:52 am 

    Kwaaaaaaaaa @ bumbum…Abasekho ofishi elwandle badlana bodwa manje!Ibuhlungu lento esivelele shem!

  218. Mapakisha on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 11:55 am 

    DURTH@ dis ——-> nna ke setse ke tsene ka maoto le dinala, kemo file gotlhe le dikokomana tsa yone..*eshoeFakaiSleepingbagKucoffin*

    @Neria, dikokomana ke eng?

  219. Neria on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 11:58 am 

    @Mapakisha dikokomana ke grandkids

  220. Mapakisha on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 12:04 pm 

    Lol, DONE!!

  221. vigilante on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 12:14 pm 

    single life is just dramatic nje

  222. Noance on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 12:29 pm 

    @Bumbum thanx babes. I know the Lord is faithful, I just have to hang on a little bit longer.

    @Nthoentle thank God indeed. People are evil I tell u.

  223. anytime on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 12:47 pm 

    #offtopic. Ladies please help. What is the best solution for extremely severe period pains…I’m about to pass out from the pain and everyone keeps saying ‘its period pains, get over it. And yet there is nothing JUST with this pain!

  224. sweetbabe on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 1:03 pm 

    LOL @ Vigilant you should enjoy it, i miss being single, i’m just stuck with the guy who told me in my face that he will never have a white wedding, he wants a traditional wedding only, if kufuna i white wedding uthi he will buy me a wedding gown ngihambe ngiyoshutha nama brides maid a park

  225. asanwababe on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 1:12 pm 

    @Vigilante, you are so right. Single life iyadina shem, especially when you’ve been at it for a while. I’m tired of it; the whole meeting a new guy, having great expectations and then realising there’s no chemistry and/or no conversation at all and ending the whole thing. Only to start again with a new guy. Hayi suka, where’s umaqondana wami?

  226. Noance on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 1:13 pm 

    LMAO!!!! @sweetbabe, hai ur man unjani mara…

    @anytime, have u tried meds? neurofin for period pains and Mybeulin or u can get contraceptives that help with period pains too. (forgive the spelling)

  227. nana on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 1:16 pm 

    LMAO @sweetbabe! Tjo..you must change his mind if you want it..have it small and intimate with close friends and relatives.

    Anytime, “nurofens-period pains” works for me and a coupla peeps I know swear by it too.

  228. Miranda on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 1:16 pm 

    @Anytime, did you take any pill?

    A pharmacist recommended that I take 1 tablet of Nurofen for Period pains + two panado tablets….and that was the last time I experienced those things, As soon as I see the red robot, I take that combination three times a day.

  229. bumbum on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 1:17 pm 

    @Anytime me and you both, I cry sometimes cause the pain is unbarable and my hubby will just be helpless on what to do. I’ve tried many medications but they don’t work. When I have kids ngizoyokhipha isbeletho strait.

    @Sweetbabe the traditional wedding is also beutifull you must just make the most of it and don’t give up on trying to change your man’s mind maybe if you show him that it will make you happy he might change his mind

  230. asanwababe on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 1:17 pm 

    @sweetbabe, askies babe! But you can still work around that and have a big traditional wedding, with all the frills and make it a glamourous affair.

  231. Nthoentle on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 1:33 pm 

    Hahahahahaha aowa @Sweetbabe your man is just wrong. Every woman wants a white wedding. Every woman wants to be shown off to the world I don’t care who says what. I’ve had friends who had said “Huuu white weddings are a waste of money”, 3 of them confessed that’s what they want deep down and another even had it not so long ago. I think men who deny their wives white weddings are soooo unfair!!!

    Aowa guys. No matter how glamourous a traditional wedding is, it’s STILL not a white wedding.

    Nag him wena @sweetbabe and even threaten that you will pay it yourself

  232. Ms Keri on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 1:42 pm 

    “if kufuna i white wedding uthi he will buy me a wedding gown ngihambe ngiyoshutha nama brides maid a park” kwaaak dead yoooh hay shem sweetbabe make the most of the traditional wedding….uyenze ibentle

  233. Ntombi Yomzulu on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 1:42 pm 

    Im with Nthoentle on that one

  234. nana on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 1:43 pm 

    Ditto Nthoentle!! You cant deny a girl that! Like its soo soo wrong..

  235. sxylin on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 1:52 pm 

    Hi guys :) bum bum how long have you been experiencing period pains? Are you the one thats struggling to have babies after an ectopic? if so please ask your doctor to check you for endemetriosis; that could also be the reason why you are not conceiving

  236. asanwababe on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 1:56 pm 

    I must confess, I’m one of those who think white weddings are a waste of money. I used to want one but of late I just think it’s a waste of money. Spending so much on a couple of hours; the miser in me refuses. But ke, that’s just how I feel now, as a singleton. Perhaps when I meet “The One”, I’ll change my mind, especially if he’s rich.

  237. Lela on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 2:00 pm 

    Eish Guys I’m so frustrated! I work for man who has no idea what his doing and I end up have to do his work and all. His the deputy head of department! O dom dom dom and thinks his clever…..That’s why ndizibeka phantsi intambo today yho ndawuze ndiyibaise ndiziva ngathi ndiphuma ejele.

  238. sxylin on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 2:04 pm 

    hehehehe Lela did you get a new job?

  239. asanwababe on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 2:07 pm 

    A side note; If there’s anyone la kuJC with a BCom Accounting, recently graduated or about to graduate or with a year’s experience, looking for a job please contact me. The company is in Cape Town. Salary is not too bad shem.
    My email add: asanwababe@gmail.com

  240. Nthoentle on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 2:15 pm 

    @asanwababe yona it’s a lot of money for some hours Mara I see people who never had white weddings tend to either have big 40th birthday or big 10 year wedding anniverssary-those kind of things because they are still yearning for the white wedding deep down. Hence I say everyone wants to have it and they should

  241. bongi on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 2:20 pm 

    mna i have dreamt of a white wedding ever since i was a little gal- but that was only a dream ngoba i knew we wont be able to afford it and i wasnt gonna save for it shame..for your first wedding you do want a white wedding as a woman – but our men convince us other wise – lucky for me mine naye he wanted a white wedding – so his parents paid for it – as he is the only son.

  242. Ntombi Yomzulu on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 2:22 pm 

    Oh Wow, your inlaws are very generous Bongi. You guys indlela engiwuthanda ngakhona umshado nkosi yami, I wonder if I will ever get to wear that white dress nje and have a family and kids zami nje

  243. Nthoentle on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 2:26 pm 

    You will @Ntombi Yomzulu. Have faith my dear

  244. Miss T on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 2:33 pm 

    I had a traditional wedding. I haven’t really thought of a white wedding. Nigerians are so extravagant, so my traditional was jus as exciting.

  245. sxylin on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 2:43 pm 

    and a beautiful wedding it was Bongi; id like to see Fabulicious’ wedding pictures……! :)

  246. Sips187 on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 2:47 pm 

    @ Sweetbabe, maybe have a compromise. Have a traditional wedding but wear your white dress, do twang twang e stradini & then change to your traditional attire. I was still paying off debts from my wedding that I had a year ago. The costs can escalate & we had two, a white & a traditional. Waste of money if you ask me

  247. bumbum on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 3:01 pm 

    @Sxylin yep that’s me, ever since I started my periods they are always painful and my doctor has checked me on so many levels now what’s left its that HSG thing to check my tubes cause everything is fine.

    @Sips why didn’t you guys save for it, I’m proud to say that we saved R10 000 a month with hubby and asinasikoloto somshado. So please brides to be save for your weddings because there’s a lot after umshado. All the best kulaba abazoshada its a rollacoaster ride I tell you but all worth it.

  248. Phindy on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 3:02 pm 

    @Ntombi, it will happen nana, js b patient. I’m currently planning my mother in law’s wedding as we speak. She had given up on ever getting married bt js 2 years ago she met a guy & 3 months from now bayashada & ths is her very first marriage. Things happen ngesikhathi sakhona.

  249. Ntombi Yomzulu on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 3:12 pm 

    Ncaaaw thats sweet Phindy

  250. LadyMillion on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 3:13 pm 

    shame mna i WILLL HAVE TO HAVE A WHITE WEDDING! and a fairytale one at that! like im the extraordinaire out of all my friends..like when they see something thats too much they will say …. would go for that!
    I’d disappoint them shame if i were to say “no guys we just signing and having dinner” whaaaaat???????

  251. Nthoentle on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 3:14 pm 

    I agree @Bum Bum, we shouldn’t have white wedding ka credit guys

  252. asanwababe on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 3:30 pm 

    That’s what I don’t want; a wedding now, pay later situation.
    @bumbum, that’s good thinking. I have a friend, she’s getting married in September. They are just spending money they don’t have, on things that are not necessary. All in the name of trying to prove a point to their relatives that nabo they can afford a big wedding. *smh*

    @Phindy that is really sweet shem. I’m happy for your mom in law. You two must get along well. That’s a blessing.

  253. LadyMillion on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 3:33 pm 

    bt who has a wedding on credit?? smh

  254. Ms Keri on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 3:34 pm 

    @Bum bum try the HSG thing Syxlin helped me alot i have just discovered my reason for failing to concieve check your tubes they play a huge role in concieving.

  255. asanwababe on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 3:35 pm 

    @LadyMillion, you’d be surprised. Many people do.

  256. BlindFold on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 3:36 pm 

    @Ladymillion…wa dlala wena most people infact have weddings on credit.

  257. Babyluv on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 3:38 pm 

    Yes yes yes, ladies and gentlemen. The GM of DeeSxy Love Connection is in the building. These are important things a girl/woman has to through in life: periods, matric ball, white wedding and having a baby/babies *my opinion*, so far I have done 2 out of that 4. Im praying and hoping that I will get my other 2. @LOLO stop silent blogging.

  258. sxylin on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 3:41 pm 

    YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY Ms Keri forgot that today is Thursday im waiting for feedback phela………. !!!!!!!!!!

  259. sxylin on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 3:42 pm 

    kwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa @babyluv; i miss Lolo wena Smang mang you drove Lolo to silent blog :(

  260. sxylin on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 3:43 pm 

    Wedding on credit O.O are you for real guys yoooooooooh!

  261. sweetbabe on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 3:48 pm 

    he said it won’t be on of those dull traditional weddings uthi uzoyenza ibe yinhle… i wouldn’t even know ukuthi it a traditional wedding… i’m hoping he will come around, i’ve already planned my wedding enhloko

  262. kimmo on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 3:57 pm 

    bathong wedding on credit, what for though, the dress?

  263. bumbum on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 3:58 pm 

    @Sxylin, LadyM you will be suprised how people think. I don’t know how they spend something they don’t have.

    @Asanwababe that couple is in for the big suprise after umshado bazolala bedle ikabishi namanzi.

    @Nthoentle thanks to hubby he has taught me to save for something rather than buy it on credit.

    Ms Keri I have an apointment to do it nana but I’m scared I’ve heard here on JC that its painful and I’m scared now.

  264. bumbum on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 4:05 pm 

    @Kimmo its not for the dress only, even the wedding bands bayawakolota abanye abantu but nami sometimes I don’t understand

  265. asanwababe on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 4:07 pm 

    Lol @bumbum, sizohleka thina oAsa. But emtshadweni sizoya shem.

    @kimmo, anything that can be paid for ngecredit card nana. Dress, venue, you name it.

  266. Sips187 on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 4:10 pm 

    Eish guys, ukuthanda izinto. We had a budget but mina I wanted extra things & hubby refused, insisting we stick to the budget. I fell victim of trying to show off I suppose & endend up getting a loan without hubby’s knowledge. Had to servise that loan in secret

  267. Nthoentle on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 4:10 pm 

    Hahahahahaha you guys. A lot of people take out loans to have their white wedding. Then they get divorced and still pay for it

  268. fufu on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 4:12 pm 

    @ babyluv i have only had periods in yor list,ohh how i wish for a wedding sengishaya i step,ngikhophozela.

  269. Gomolemo on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 4:22 pm 

    Since my first wedding was a white one, im opting for traditional this time around. My mom is not happy at all, u know bomme ba rata go showe(r) off. And my bf is fine with it.

  270. Gomolemo on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 4:23 pm 

    Its true@Nthoentle, my sister is still paying FNB 3yrs after her wedding.

  271. LadyMillion on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 4:24 pm 

    Hahahahahaha you guys. A lot of people take out loans to have their white wedding. Then they get divorced and still pay for it

    wHAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT???????????????????????????????

  272. LadyMillion on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 4:26 pm 

    @Gomolemo…..are they still together?

  273. sxylin on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 4:27 pm 

    HAHAHAHAHAH crazy stuff i tell you; i didnt even plan my own wedding eish i was in such a trance all through out nje like i was supposed to just pitch up ! The only thing that was my input was my dress thats all

  274. sxylin on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 4:27 pm 

    @Gomolemo you mean Tabea *runs

  275. Gomolemo on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 4:28 pm 

    Yes they are@LadyMillion. Kare rene re tshwaraganya, beats me why they were in a hurry to get married ba sena chelete. My ex-hubby paid for their video, photos and hired a nice slahla for them as a his gift to them. Otherwise??

  276. Gomolemo on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 4:29 pm 

    Kwaaaaa@sxylin yes Tabea!!

  277. Gomolemo on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 4:31 pm 

    You know in Tswana culture, a younger sibling is not really supposed to get married before their big sisters. But it happened like that, i got married before her, so i think she was bit stressed about it. Phela le bo malome they will ask gore your younger sister is married, when is your turn??

  278. LadyMillion on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 4:38 pm 

    Tjo @sxylin… in want to decided what colour our pastor is gonna b wearing…sent u mail

  279. Wild Island on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 4:39 pm 

    Hahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahah wakakakakakakakakakakakakakkakakakakakaakkaakakakakakkaak hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah hahahahaha *cough* hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha *choke* hahahahahahahahahahhahahah *in tears* hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha *fell off chair*

    if kufuna i white wedding uthi he will buy me a wedding gown ngihambe ngiyoshutha nama brides maid a park

    SWEETBABE…uve made my day kwaaaaa…..mina i had this stupid good for nothing unemplyed ohlulwa wukuthenga ne potsotso ye R5 guy tell me cos im a devocee uzongilobola nge R2000 cos im used goods..kammotsa kare used good kemmaaaaao …wantlwayela…sheeeeeeeee#teamsingleness hai i wont selttle for less second time around…i hear u ngaa husband this and that..mina i made a good decision ngahlukana naye i was half past dead kalebotsa eeeeeeeh …#story for another decade

    @bongi u had a grand wedding love…thatha ms helicopter ka manny

  280. Gomolemo on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 4:41 pm 

    Tjoooo!! we are called used goods??? My cousin called me le return soldier…

  281. Sips187 on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 5:03 pm 

    Ai suka, bayisijwayela. #teamreturnsoldier#

  282. LadyMillion on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 5:05 pm 

    lol..at return soldier!!! basile yazi

  283. bumbum on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 5:20 pm 

    Kwaaaaaaaaa @return soldiers

  284. Miranda on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 5:28 pm 

    Paying after the Wedding day can’t be nice, Nagana fela how much of a mission it is going to be nje to buy furniture for your new house(if you getting one)….Saving, Saving, Saving is the way to go, but not always possible, I mean imagine after paying 16 cows/75k(as some parents demand) ya lobola, then the poor guy has to wait another year or two to hlanganisa the white wedding cash before they can stay with their partner, worse if the bride isn’t working.

    @ Sxylin ,you remind me of a friend who got married last year November, she was only graduating for her first degree two weeks after the wedding day…..so she wasn’t working yet, and the guy paid for everything,mgani wami nje was just choosing the colours, and everything else that needed decision making. The guy had been saving before he even met her though…..

    Why can’t all single men start saving already though???? I know they are different, but why?????

  285. sxylin on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 5:33 pm 

    Ah hahhahhahahhahaha All hail to the Returned Soldiers!*bows*

  286. MsMo on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 5:35 pm 

    this pulled me out of silentville shem——-> So with love there is pain these two go together and they make the journey worth it because you either come out stronger or destroyed! i continue to ask myself daily how i claim to be so happy with a man who hurts me; truth is he loves me and has proven it time and again, should i decide to look elsewhere who is to say i wont find something worse! Make the love you have work for you, if there is respect then its worth fighting for right? Love him or her in your own special way; there are no set rules in love*

    Here’s my dilemma, I am engaged to a wonderful man but I have Fab Tees tendencies, I cannot get over thinking that when ever we are not together he is cheating, and when we are together I am moody and sulky and he gets irritated, I love him shem but I’ve been so mean to him that he has changed a bit towards me and does not shower me with the kind of love he should to give me. I agree with the blogger who said something about influential friends, they ruined, well I allowed them to ruin my relationship. What can I do to get over this pride and fix my relationship????
    Sorry for the long post

  287. Babyluv on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 5:56 pm 

    Mara amadoda are dom yazi, when you are in a relationshp and you know that ths is girl is your future wife, save-invest. Lobola doesnt come cheap, especiali for a girl like me (lastborn, im the only girl, i dont have a child, im funding{2nd year Bcompt}). Mna shame i refuse to be a bonus makoti, lol. Yazi bongi une luck, a friend’s friend had to wear iqhiya emnyama nama dakhi for a year, even then the hubby had to request bamkhulule. Hai wena yathandwa zi-inlaws zakho.

  288. only_child on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 6:07 pm 

    Yho Gomolemo just made my day LMAO!!! O kgutlela ntweng in other words!!! Hahahahahaha!!

  289. bongi on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 6:41 pm 

    @ babyluv bathanda unyana wabo sisi. When we were separated i never kept the kids away from their father or the inlaws. They dont have other kids besides hubby so keepin my kids would have killed them. Shame hubby used cenga, come and ahlale watchin tv, ill give him food and when times come for him to go, he will ask to sleep on the couch, tht broke my heart so much; he belonged in my bed. I realised i wanted him and we set the simple standards. Respect, love and spending time with the family. The rest just came on nje autmatically.Uyathandwa ndim uradebe…

  290. Nthoentle on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 6:50 pm 

    Hahahahaha @Babyluv-so you one of those who believe lobola must be expensive for educated girls with no kids. Sometimes that can have u and your hubby starting it on the wrong foot. Ene remember lobola in from hos pocket meaning less money in your household.

    I don’t believe women should pay for their white weddings but I guess it depends…

    Kwaaaaaa @Wildy-omo laile nana! Otlara mmage!!! Kwaaaaaaaa ke hwile, om mpolaile, omo swinne! Tjoooo mara people are mean hle, calling other children return soldiers nkare marriage ke achievement. Tjo!

  291. Ms Keri on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 6:53 pm 

    @bum bum its painful but you can handle it…I think its best knowing what’s wrong..send me your email address will explain to you.

    @Syxlin I will send you the feedback thanks a lot :-)

  292. Fab Tee on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 6:56 pm 

    Fab Tee tendencies?,dont u mean Lady Zee @MsMo?

  293. Ms Keri on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 7:05 pm 

    This >>>Uyathandwa ndim uradebe…”ncooo Bongi I just heart this u a good woman

  294. bumbum on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 7:10 pm 

    @Ms Keri sibiya.bongeka@yahoo.com.

  295. sexymm on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 8:56 pm 

    Sikhulekile ekhaya.You guys mara.Ngicela ukbona izandla phezulu kuma return soldiers, lol#deathofme# luv u nina masotsha.

  296. **Stars** on Thu, 5th Jul 2012 11:36 pm 

    I enjoyed reading through your comments (though I’m only half way through)..would have loved 2 take part in the “conversations/relationships talk” but I’m way too late :-( . Le special lea tseba mara?!

  297. MsMo on Fri, 6th Jul 2012 9:01 am 

    oops sowi fab tee i meant lady Zee

Tell us what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!

Click here to register in order to prevent re-entering your details the next time you leave a comment