Book Review: In the Maid’s Room by Hagen Engler

Book Review: In the Maid’s Room by Hagen Engler

2021
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“Disco Dave is a South African hipster on the Port Elizabeth social scene, such as it is. His dreams of media moguldom evaporate before his eyes as the scene becomes blacker and his understanding of it more tenuous. Hard-up for bucks, he moves into the Maid’s Room on his property and rents out the main house. Sizwe arrives and swiftly sets about taking over Disco’s life. He impregnates his ex-girlfriend Jazz, founds a rival media company and slides into a job Disco had his eye on. The blacks are taking over! Disco finds a black girlfriend, but even that doesn’t stop it. Desperate for relevance, he has to get famous somehow. But who even needs white celebs anymore? While his fellow non-blacks embrace wilful ignorance, hippy oblivion and gangsterism, Disco knows just enough to know he doesn’t know enough. As South Africa finally becomes a black country, he finds himself asking, what about me?”

 

So that’s the blurb at the back of Hagen Engler’s third novel. His previous books include Stuff (South African) White People Like as well as Marrying Black Girls For Guys Who Aren’t Black. Engler’s third novel is a glimpse into what is presumably the lives of white people in the then Port Elizabeth and the new Nelson Mandela Bay. Of course the story will resonate with most South Africans. Although his protagonist, Disco Dave, is an exhausting old, insecure, typical white guy with entitlement issues, he’s equally entertaining and makes it a pleasure following his pointless pathetic life around. Desperate to be famous, Disco Dave will stop at nothing to see himself on TV. From auditioning for the most ridiculous reality TV shows in PE to name dropping big names as if he’s met them before in his newspaper editing career, he really thinks he is the talk of town. The problem though is that he is not. Even his friends see him as a joke. He’s not performing that well at work. So no one takes him seriously even on that front.

01

The book might be difficult to get into for some readers because of the style Engler has adopted in genuinely representing his characters with their profane, raw and blasphemous street lingo.

Described as a scruffy shamble of an episodic novel, the book becomes almost plotless due to endless and unnecessary scenes which might have easily been edited out to give the book a more decent structure. At times readers will skip pages because, Okay, I get the point, no need to repeat the same point for two to three pages. But then again, maybe the book is not meant to be decent. Whatever that means!

 

There is no doubt that the biggest lessons to be taken away from the book are right at the end where Engler uses his various characters to answer Disco Dave and other whites in South Africa, in 2016, when they ask “What about me? What about us? Do we still have a place in this country?” These questions are answered by Disco Dave’s “new black girlfriend” and his colleague Sizwe who, upon learning that he cannot afford his house anymore, takes over the house and bond and moves Disco Dave to the backroom. While the girlfriend says she will not settle down for him, his days are over, he’s lived his fair share of life; Sizwe tells him the country is not white anymore.

 

In The Maid’s Room is definitely worth a try especially if you’re from PE; and after such a terrible year we’ve all had as a collective, everybody needs to summon back to life their sense of humour and get this book for Dizemba Holidays. I tune you.

 

In The Maid’s Room is published by Jacana.

 

About the Author

 hagen

Hagen Engler has co-written, ghost-written and edited more than ten books. In the Maid’s Room is his third novel. He is the former editor of a doomed consumer magazine, a white guy from PE and no longer the big deal he used to be. So you see now.

 

By Siyamthanda Skota

@MrSkota

299 COMMENTS

  1. I’m currently reading “I know why the caged birds sings”,i’ve had the book for 3 years but I’m only reading it now.I was never ready for the emotions it is evoking in me so far,Sad/angry and curious all at the same time.

  2. dololo mzansi news. i read an article on sunday sun and they were running with the story that itumeleng khune is dating phindile gwala. to think that @tshiamo mentioned it last week on this blog. journalists have become lazy.

  3. @Wisdom it’s a lovely book,I need to reread again.

    Guys what shake or pills can I drink to gain some kilos? My clothes are falling off my body. I need to gain 7kg. Was under a lot of stress and lost a lot of weight but stress is gone and the weight is not coming through.

  4. Those who have siblings do you guys share your clothes? Like borrow each other this week next week it’s someone else’s turn to wear it? I’m not comfortable with such and it seems as if Sithelo and Missshozi are even at a point where they borrow each other bikinis ?

  5. Khune clearly has a thing for Zulu girls..

    I visited Pearl Thusi’s instagram, she is slowly beginning to show off her man, as JCers would say, that can only mean side chicks are starting to give her discomfort

  6. @zizi…….my siblings are boys, so I’ve never shared clothes with anyone. The thought just makes me shudder! Not something I would do. Even when a friend has an unplanned sleepover, she’ll wear her clothes again the following morning

  7. @ missAn..JC try taking cipla actin tablets they give 1 hell of appetite and they have worked for me, my weight is easily affected by stress so i have bounced back now.

    The year is gone hey, we thank God for this borrowed time.

  8. Speaking of books, Anele recommended a book by Dale Carnegie “How to win friends and Influence people.” Anele, you dont seem to have issues with winning friends, because you are everybuddy’s friend. Well done there girl. You are winning. However, Mr Carnegie also teaches you about listening. Listen!!! Now that skill you are yet to master, read that book over and over until you master this skill. You are almost there my sister. I lit up when you mentioned the book, and i said “There is hope.”

    PS: Thank you Siyamthanda for your book reviews, we appreciate your love for them and your hearfelt detail.

  9. Give a bells to @Yoza!!! She comes up through and through. Her reviews on Anele’s show crack me up. She is so invested and such a great critic…hahaha!!! Mama Steyn should offer you a job already. I can imagine you rolling your eyes when Anele starts to yaaap on set. Hihihihi.

  10. Ey guys uAnele will start tweeting about her ‘haters’ lets hope she’s taken your advice. I’ve only ever seen her show a few times kodwa I totally agree.

  11. @Annelise: thanks dear..i have checked the link out. I will def buy it and try it out.

  12. Ensure also helped me with nausea. MissAn i find it really funny.. You battled with losing weight fast forward you want to gain it! Nice life problems hey. Zizi i now find it funny when Sthelo posts a picture, like girl is that all you are famous for.. you blow job lips! cumman give us another angle… I am absolutely obsessed with her baby though.

    In other news Nonhle Ndala aka mama kaFloater changes friends like underwear, she is now besties with Zari whom we know she met through Dj Zinhle and then she is now close friends with Leratozah Moloi. Nonhle went and said some stupid things about Zinhle Masilela and lo and behold the next day Zi was shading Nonhle.. hahaha .

  13. Pearl Thusi and her Kid wow they are just Goals. She looks really Happy bandla,she’s no longer spicy
    Zulu girls have got that thing neh
    Her and Minnie they are just everything hey.
    #Hehehhee
    #phoneBlogging
    #DontMindtheTypos

  14. Nonhle Ndala and Uyathandeka both follow Mrs Modiba. They are JC bloggers!!!!
    I like Sithelo, she is pretty. Is she MissShozi’s sisster? Mbali has given birth.
    Zamaberrie was/is in Zimbabwe, kanti where is the wife?? Is she not is Zim? Tazvi uyadelela

  15. This seems like a great book. Thanks for sharing.

    Phindile and Khune…..wonder what they talk about. Phindile strikes me as the girl that grew up with self esteem issues until her new found fame and now she can’t believe that she’s actually famous. Now with the new trending pose of facing away from the camera so your butt shows is like additional self confidence coz she has a beautiful booty. She needs to come down.

  16. Then there was this:

    “I HIT it first!”

    These are the bragging words by Khehla Msomi, the “kiss and tell” guy who claims to be an ex-boyfriend of kwaito queen, Babes Wodumo.

    She’s Bongekile Simelane, from Lamontville in Durban, KZN.

    Khehla claims he was the guy who took her virginity.

    He is said to be from Bonella in Durban and works in the Free State as a Vodacom technician.

    Khehla has allegedly been bragging that he was the first one to have sex with Babes.

    Khehla’s boastful claim came out after one of his Facebook friends posted a picture of Babes at the MAMAs, posing on a red carpet with West Ink Records boss Mandla “Mampintsha” Maphumulo.

    In his return post, Khehla wrote: I hit it first.

    Another Facebook friend, Sibakhile Xulu posted: Buka amaLevels manje. (Check her levels now).

    Khehla wrote: Ngiyabona (I see).

    When Sunday Sun contacted Khehla he told Sunday Sun he met Babes Wodumo when he was still a student at the Durban University of Techonology.

    At that time, he used to work at Bat Centre, which is where he claims to have met Babes.

    He said, boastfully: “I met her when she was a groupie.

    “She used to be all over the place, dancing at the Bat Centre.

    “That’s where she used to come to dance.

    “Dancing is something she started long ago,” he said.

    “She wasn’t famous at that time.”

    He went on to say: “To be honest with you my brother, I broke her virginity!

    “And I was the first one to bonk her – before Mampintsha.

    “In fact, Mampintsha doesn’t know anything,” he said.

    Speaking of Babes, Khehla said: “She was just a normal chick. Any guy who slept with her can brag.

    “She’s hot and no guy can be private about snacking her!”

    When the People’s Paper contacted Babes Wodumo yesterday she refused to comment and hung up on us.

    When we called again her phone was on voicemail.

  17. MissAn ensure is great but steep. Try replace I got it from checkers.it’s exactly like ensure even the calories. Helps a lot when I skip meals. It’s R70-80. Blend it with fruits, ice and a spoon peanut butter

  18. @Nelley is Lerato still married? Nonhle is fake. Santse atlo ba changer bakgotsi. So karabo is no longer the best friend?lol.
    I saw a soccer player celebrating being engaged for 2 years with his woman. I couldn’t stop laughing.

  19. @Letebele their both airheads. Phindile all she knows is flaunting her thighs and bum all over instagram. Then Sunday she is holy holy with long skirts and dresses. Khune yena mxm domkop.

  20. hahaha JustNje: phuma kulooKona ukuyo.Uthethe kwanela ngoAnele.
    I think its radio that’s making Anele this way. Radio personalities always have something to say and they can interrupt (interject?) you like no body’s business. Its like they chew chillies – they just can’t stop themselves!Eusebius tries to wait until callers finish talking, he’s very good.

  21. @JustNje says: “Anele to Bassie: “…Because I was at your wedding” LOL! You gotta love Anele”

    hah hah hah hah…yekelani uAnele show off!!

  22. nna i doubt gore she is still married Tshiamo…. Karabo is a level headed business woman she doesnt do things for the gram hle!

    Pearl,” i was trying to surprise him
    Anele to Pearl, ” i remember cos i bumped into you, i was pregnant at the time and it was not public knowledge then!
    (throws hands in the air)

  23. I knew her friendship with Mrs Masilela won’t last long. She doesn’t take nonsense that one
    Has Pinky posted a pic of her nursery?

  24. Pearl,” i was trying to surprise him
    Anele to Pearl, ” i remember cos i bumped into you, i was pregnant at the time and it was not public knowledge then…LMAO!!!!
    That Zari lady is positively glowing. Pregnancy suits some people hey. Nelley are you not that Zari lady mara, you and her are both pregnant #clutchingatstraws #iamanidiotiknow 🙂

  25. Guys I’m so tired hey…I sleep well at night but I wake up sooo exhausted. As a result I end up only starting work at after lunch, which means I have to stay late…

    Yes it looks like Aurelia has given birth and she’s lost the weight already. That girl can keep her life private hey, no baby shower pics, congrats messages etc her squad is goals Shem. Yena no nelley are * inserts Zuma meme*

    Nonhle is tiring

    Miss pinks is quiet. She’s working on her snap back naye, phela Zintle s bod is heat so she has to keep up. I saw Herbalife stuff that she’s taking to get back her body. Nursery where? Ha ha ha

  26. Off Ramp nyana Bahlali, on Sunday i had a small pimple on my right inner Thigh on Sunday i woke up it was hard and painful i walk like i had a horse P**is on my Butt lol. It is my first time experiencing such and i’m on Depo Injection which i started two months ago and thanks to it i Gained weight and ngapha my thighs kiss each other when i walk ..Abanye bathi it’s a boil but i don’t see any Pus, it is red,bumpy and painful qha. I’m so scared of going to the DR he’ll press it hard yhuu bahlali any home remedies? Thank you in advance

  27. @Exiled Zari is pregnant again? Isn’t princess Latifah like 1? She pops babies like its going out of fashion. How many kids does she have? How old is she?

  28. Lola Aurelia already gave birth? 😮
    Momager Zama has a liver. She is stashed away in a hotel only seeing him when he can get away. I can’t believe she tattooed his name on her… He will never leave his wife

  29. @tshiamo NO Pics of the nursery yet. Poor Pinky.
    Nonhle is level headed naye bethuna, she bought a house/stand at Serengeti Estate ngemali kaAndile. That is good investment. Some Diski Divas live in Midrand 🙁

  30. twerkchick Nov 1, 2016 at 11:38 am
    Lola Aurelia already gave birth? ?
    Momager Zama has a liver. She is stashed away in a hotel only seeing him when he can get away. I can’t believe she tattooed his name on her… He will never leave his wife

    The other day Zama was trending on twitter, that pic she posted thanking Tazvi of being a “blessing” to her, and another pic by Tazvi appreciating his wife. I lmao

  31. @Momager is that Andile or Nonhle’s house? Nonhle says her parents are now her neighbours lol. Are we ever gonna see Nonhle’s parents? She is forever flaunting Andile’s parents.

    Poor Pinky. I saw a comment from one of the Modiba’s on Pinky’s post some time ago. Seems like some of Victor’s cousins are #TeamPinky

  32. @tshiamo I assumed its “theirs” since they are married (he paid lobola moes) and on Diski Divas she bragged about it.
    I wonder whats really going on in the Modiba household. No pic of V with Jnr on Pink’s IG 🙁

  33. @nelley even our favourite Aunt (daphney phasha) comments on Pinky’s IG posts. Was Pinky famous before JC exposed her??

  34. hahaha Exiled you are not an idiot at all.. I married an older man not a younger man…. and i am xhosa 🙂

    Ray of Sunshine is positively glowing.. we all have to grow up sometime.

    As for Zama i shall reserve my silence.. She is forever being hidden at the holiday inn in Harare 🙁 Momager.. those men are horrible they dont respect their spouses at all.. Zama is not the only one.. so imagine fighting with all these women hehake so much energy.

    They love consoling each other, i think if i were to be treated llike Tazvi Mhaka’s wife and that Zodwa Mkandla.. i would have moved on shame.. i mean this Zodwa lady is also monied mos.. or is it a case of being scared to start all over again.

  35. I see Blue Mambo is the new Face of Clere, taking over from Vanessa Marawa. Congrats, Blue looks so much nicer without the horrid contacts.

  36. angithi it was said on here naye she is a side chick by default. Ntate Pasha has a wife emahhayeni LOL.

  37. zodwa is ginimbi’s wife/grilfriend… even though she could pass for his mum. Ginimbi is 33 years old apparently and mme Zodwa is __________________

  38. Yes there IS a connection between Anele’s interviewing skills and my girlfriend’s height. There is. You lot just refuse to see it.

  39. Hello Lolonator
    @nelley Ginimbi and Tazvi act like teenagers, is it new money tendencies? I cant deal.
    I love mme Phasha hle. EXPLAIN

  40. @lolo why unqabile? Kaloku the last time wasixelela uba uBaeSgora uyakubullisha. I hope you are not in an abusive relationshiop

  41. I see Zari is friends with Zodwa. Cougarville? She looks like she is a hard worker this Zodwa woman.

  42. Two weekends ago I went to my gf in PMB. I went on the 21st so I was OBVIOUSLY broke, being a teacher who gets paid on the 25th. I took the APM bus, 401 rands for the return trip. NEVER AGAIN bafwethu. Seven ours on the road is MURDER. I left at 10pm. Got there at five am, she let me in and we fucked, then she shaved me and we fucked some more and this continued the entire weekend, then on Monday, when I was due to leave, we made love. It was slow, sweet, tender. She is so cute, she calls me doti…. when I annoy her… on some” u-busy doti ukhuluma ney’ntomb zakho zase Goli kodwa uvakashele mina. She says I make her nervous . the first time I went to her flat she was so nervous she was saying ebencizwa amakhwapha, cause she says I am fussy. But I am not. I am such an easy guest to host. feed me and fuck me then I am all happy.

  43. Kodwa Siyamthanda, if this book is such trash, why popularize it here? Hayi kabi.

    We’d rather talk about Terra’s “bimbing” on Idols than this book.
    .
    There were bloggers who recommended That triology (The girl with the dragon tattoo, the girl who played with fire and the girl who kicked a hornet’s nest). Thank you. It was beautifully written. I saw on the last one that the author died shame……

  44. @Momager I am in a sexuallly abusive relationship shem. My clit was so tender coming back to Jozi. In fact I attract abusers.

  45. @Lolo – the liver of not shaving your punani…lol! You are on that list that Chase mentioned…..he said some of his “badliwa” don’t shave…….

  46. Mrs Phasha has that Mamelodi ratchetness. Is she from Pretoria? She follows all the side chick on instagram

  47. hahahaahaha I missed you LOLO; she f*d u before shaving you.. i am crying. She ate the cookie hairy. hebanna. I cannot.

  48. Yazi Soweto Pride did not happen. But the after party did, at Chaf Pozi. I went there with some white chick. So we kissed mna nomlungu. I just thought let me eat umlungu just one, as an experience. So while we were kissing I freed her boob from the bra, then I found the nippple to be a dull pink, the colour of ham. I immediately dressed her up again and stopped all touching sighting her young age, Nah fam. Nipples should be brown though, Like how come zipinki? Ngoba k’theni?

  49. GOD put the hair there, he knew what he was doing. Anyway you suck on a clit, the clit is without hair. Tshhn Thiza. Yes, she shaved me after. Azange afe. You guys make it seem like you INSIST that the men in you lives shave before you guys sing on their mikes, sing badly, like some Idol contestants from Venda.

    A cousin was telling other male cousins that his chick was so bad at singing, that he was forced to push her forehead away and zip his pants…to save himself from the mess.

  50. @Hamilton, younger chicks live in the now. If I were to ask any 30 something year old out, they would first live out our entire relationship in their heads, then tell me they are scared we will not work out. The young can afford to make mistakes. Older chicks are looking for marriage.

  51. Ok lolo you have a point. Like you sold BaeBhayi some fairy-tale that involved having a tenant relocating from Cape Town to Jozi, wade wayothenga iring omny’umntana and wena you were on some “Tshiii kutheni lento ezothenga iring ndim omdala mos iring izothengwa ndim”. Kanti uyayazi awufune mtshato, usile yhazi.

  52. Wahahahahahahaha
    ___________________

    Momager: “The other day Zama was trending on twitter, that pic she posted thanking Tazvi of being a “blessing” to her, and another pic by Tazvi appreciating his wife. I lmao”

  53. @Momager. I was talking to BaeBhayi actually, an hour ago , we are still close, she has a new gf, she is hosting this week. The gf is obviously an upgrade. She is dating a 22 year older stunner. That is better that 40 fat me.

  54. @Cutie I was also shattered when I discovered Stieg Larson died mysteriously, but after revealing Sweden secrets like that, it is not surprising, it sad some of what he wrote could be true. When they talk about the SARS Rogue Unit, I am reminded of the triology.

  55. Cutie Nov 1, 2016 at 12:15 pm

    Kodwa Siyamthanda, if this book is such trash, why popularize it here? Hayi kabi.

    We’d rather talk about Terra’s “bimbing” on Idols than this book.\
    ____________________________________
    cutie i felt exactly like Siya when i read Khaya Dlanga’s book.. like i would skip pages and pages

  56. Watching the #StateCaptureReport. This Advocate Ngcukaitobi is such a breath of fresh air…

  57. lolo Nov 1, 2016 at 12:33 pm
    @Hamilton, younger chicks live in the now. If I were to ask any 30 something year old out, they would first live out our entire relationship in their heads, then tell me they are scared we will not work out.

    hahaha I’m guilty of this

  58. “Exiled says:
    Pearl,” i was trying to surprise him
    Anele to Pearl, ” i remember cos i bumped into you, i was pregnant at the time and it was not public knowledge then…LMAO!!!!”

    I’m dying

  59. I have this aweful stubborn pimples on my right cheek that i hate. I have tried everything but they just wont go away. Please assist with a cream i can use that actually works. I went to a dermatologist and he put me on Tetralysal but i stopped taking it when i started losing my hair. I’M DESPERATE!

  60. @Zama@Lulu@Annalise thanks, I will definitely get that shake.

    Lol @Nelly I want my old weight back and will never ever complain! 58kg is fine!

    Each time Anele interjects I always crack up and think of @Yoza

    @DarkDindi home remedies I know for boils are,used to suffer alot of boil attacks on my armpits. Take Sunlight green bar and make a paste,apply on boil, it will accelerate the puss to seep out. Another home remedy is hot pap,take hot pap and put on boil. I personally prefer the Sunlight method.

  61. @Cosmic brown I know I am asking for the 100th time,what’s that hair supplement you once mentioned? I think it’s pills.

    Anele has tasted Bassie’s oxtail too!

  62. posh Nov 1, 2016 at 1:01 pm

    @Cutie I was also shattered when I discovered Stieg Larson died mysteriously, but after revealing Sweden secrets like that, it is not surprising, it sad some of what he wrote could be true. When they talk about the SARS Rogue Unit, I am reminded of the triology.
    ….
    Hahahahaha….but kuthwa he died of a heart attack nje climbing stairs.

  63. nelley Nov 1, 2016 at 1:07 pm

    Cutie Nov 1, 2016 at 12:15 pm

    Kodwa Siyamthanda, if this book is such trash, why popularize it here? Hayi kabi.

    We’d rather talk about Terra’s “bimbing” on Idols than this book.\
    ____________________________________
    cutie i felt exactly like Siya when i read Khaya Dlanga’s book.. like i would skip pages and pages

    I didn’t even try his book yhaz. It didn’t look promising at all. But uMomager has a huge crush on Khaya I’m shwa she will defend the book.

  64. @MissAnn – You have nice life problems indeed…If you were to borrow me your body, I’d relocate and never come back.

  65. U guys I came across this on Sandra rose blog. I feel sorry for Necole, she shouldn’t have stopped giving us the tea looks like she was making money.I hope things turn around for the better.

    http://sandrarose.com/2016/09/blogger-necole-bitchie-is-broke-my-life-is-a-total-mess/

    Of framp- how do people get to work overseas? Where are the jobs advertised? Which websites can I check. Jobhunting is a job itself. Ho neng?! I feel like I need a new start, new everything.

  66. I once mentioned that it’s difficult to date when you’re over 30.

    Over 30’s @lolo are not wrong for wanting marriage and men (& you) are not wrong for avoiding them like plague.

  67. @MissAN…JC are you not a new Makoti to a Xhosa guy 🙁
    Don’t tell me sekulimazile nigqibo tshata.

  68. I find Kagiso Sento beautiful. Her friend as well, Charity.

    I’m still curious about that monied couple, the Njilo’s

  69. Molweni. Welcome back LOLO!!!

    Momager – that’s the very reason why amadoda emlimaza – being a makoti to a xhosa guy.
    Hell, having a xhosa guy as a main or side dish is “limazing” enough. MissAn…tell us your story baby, we are here for you.

    Is Anele still with the baby daddy? There are no longer posts including him.

  70. Into enokundika ngokutshata umXhosa would be the kotizing. Usebenza kube shushu isinqa.

    Bonie once said “if you want to wash dishes, cook and clean like crazy, marry a Xhosa man.

    Plus I just don’t want to spend Xmas away from my family, I don’t want to spend it with some foreign family in rural EC.

  71. i dont even remember anything from that khaya d book except pictures of Trevor Noah and Xolisa somewhere> He started out with one sibling and then he skipped to 4 later thats all i remember.
    P-w0 kudala yahhamba lobus .. Anele is single.

  72. Momager Nov 1, 2016 at 2:41 pm

    @Cutie Khaya D is Nemo’s BAE
    …..
    mhhhhhh…ndikugqibele umncoma qho.

  73. Momager says:

    STAY AWAY FROM XHOSA GUYS, ladies. You can make them your sides NOT MAINS.

    Posted on November 1st, 2016

    LMAO! Now I know better.

  74. Goodness, I have so much to say about this Necole thing. Ngihlanga-hlangene nje. She says she wanted to do something meaningful after she had ended Necole Bitchie. This thing of allowing societal pressures to determine how life should be structured has never worked and never will work.

    We log into sites like JC and Necole Bitchie to unwind. We forget about our problems and stresses at work and at home. We get to shut out the world for a number of hours in a day and just be silly. To me, that makes these websites very meaningful. They play a very pivotal role in our lives. Why must there only be one way to define what is meaningful?

  75. Yazi when I was on the bus back to JHB I sat down next to this man. He was well dressed, clean. Then we struck up a conversation. I showed him pics of my kids, my girlfriend, errbody and when we got to Montrose I got off to get dunked chicken, he followed me and told me he had R10, and he wanted a meal, he asked me to help with R15 , that he would send me airtime of that amount. I got him his meal, a streetwise 1 (one chicken qatha, mini loaf, and a mash and gravy, respectively) Then when we got on the bus there was no more talk about airtime. Closer to JHB I was like “sapha i airtime tshnn” he seemed uncomfortable, told me akandilibelanga. Then I got off the bus thinking “typical parasitic Xhosa” then on the 26th, he sends an amount of 110 airtime through my phone. I had given him my number before the chicken thingy because I want to buy a property in Port Shepstone and he got a stand in Gama Lakhe for 20 grand.

  76. @Cutie heart attach could equal to poisoning…there are suspicions that he might have been poisoned because in real life he worked as in investigative journalist…

    #ayalimaza amadoda….alimaze ngisho our beloved Mathaz…mncm

  77. Bastards are charmers, good looking and hard-workers…………………at breaking hearts.

  78. @posh ayalimaza onke amadoda kodwa Xhosa men take the trophy. Mathaz’s man is not Xhosa right?
    @tikasamptha when you are a young bride, you don’t have to go and slave in EC every December. Go on holiday with your Boo, visit EC for 4 days max in Dec #AyalimazaAmaXhosa

  79. Necole supported charity organizations with NecoleBitchie profits. I’m sure she even helped her family members make something off themselves. She created jobs for people. She inspired so many bloggers worldwide. That sounds very meaningful to me.
    You can tell that Necole is full of regret, but her pride will never allow her to admit it. She should swallow her pride and reboot that website while she still can. She can still get her following back. She’s brave for coming out and admitting that she made a mistake, even though she’s too proud to put in those words exactly. I must say though that it takes a mature person to shout it out to the world when nobody even asked you. I don’t like the title of the video because in the video she clearly states that she shut everybody out and did not want anybody to to convince her to change her mind on the decision to end the blog.

  80. Ncooooh Lolo: yazi umuntu when he only asks for the money he needs (a small-anyana R15) ngeke umalele.Ingasisono 🙂

    Andiyingeni le yeSiza sasePort. Wena ufun’ukwaka wherever you eat cake. Yhi yho! #UyalimazaULolo

    Re:Marrying Xhosa guys. Xhosa guys are sweet and not difficult to control. Its just that nina niyabaqhelisa kusaqalwa. And they tend to bully non-Xhosa people. I know amaZulu and Sothos are very sweet shem, they submit to their men. Xhosa guys must just date Xhosa girls so that they can bully each other #KunyiweMacala

  81. SandraRose Mod iyonah • 2 months ago
    I remember when Necole Bitchie held court in my comments section every morning. When my blog’s background was all black. My readers were like, “You need your own blog, Necole.” Next thing you know, she starts her own blog and my blog is a ghost town. Tumble weeds and crickets.

    I remember a lone commenter saying all my readers were partying over on Necole’s new blog.

    Then she laughed and slammed the blog door.

    That was a low point in my life as a blogger. But not one tear fell. I continued to persevere and I continued doing me.

    Eventually my readers started trickling back.

  82. I think Tsonga men are the worst, there’s a special place in hell reserved just for them #AyalimazaAmadoda

  83. Nomi_Super_Star Nov 1, 2016 at 3:36 pm
    Re:Marrying Xhosa guys. Xhosa guys are sweet and not difficult to control. Its just that nina niyabaqhelisa kusaqalwa. And they tend to bully non-Xhosa people. I know amaZulu and Sothos are very sweet shem, they submit to their men. Xhosa guys must just date Xhosa girls so that they can bully each other #KunyiweMacala

    LMAO

  84. i was reading that sebzy i honestly cannot understand what Necole was supposed to do.. Shy away from an opportunity?

  85. Ndivumelana nawe Nomi yazi. I am Xhosa, when my Xhosa boyfriend isinya nam ndiya nya kuske kunyiwe macala, oko sinyelana i5 years yonke Kiiiiiiii

  86. But this Sandra Rose lady is being ridiculous naye. Was Necole not supposed to start her own blog? It’s not like Necole was being malicious and that she turned Sandra’s readers against her. Necole figured that she too was good at blogging, so she decided to spread her wings from being a reader to being a blogger. You can tell that Sandra was so happy when she wrote about Necole’s downfall. It thrilled her. She harboured all this unnecessary resentment against Necole for 9 years. That is so unhealthy. She’s a very bitter person. People like Sandra scare me.

  87. I actually thought Necole Bitchie was inspired by Concrete Loop, have never read Sandra Rose till today.
    Concrete Loop founder also shut down her website, for a higher purpose. Mxcim. Do you see Perez Hilton shutting down? He is still milking it for everything and even became a celeb

  88. Isono samaXhosa (men) kukukrexeza. Hay’be mntanam, balala kwaNkazana the night before your wedding or lobola negotiations and/or the night their spouse dies (not mattress for them moss neh?). In fact, while their uncles are negotiating on their behalf, indod’omXhosa is busy playing with a Nyatsi’s boobs, *ass and Poo-nar-nee.

    If you let him beat you the first time, you’ll be his punching bag #Naphakade. I know the Kasie Xhosa chicks bekezela being beaten for some time because they can fight back when fed-up (and because its some sort of a LOVE language to them #UyandithandaNyhanShem). #AyalimazaAmadoda

  89. Hey, I feel for Necole JustNje. She went all”spiritual corner”on us, I just didn’t get it. She had a good thing going on and then messed it. Maybe she should a have focused on growing the necole bitchie brand, clearly she made money. I agree with you I also applaud her admitting her mistakes. But the blogger who wrote this article is not having necole’s sob stories, she said necole never thanked her/ owes her in creating the blog I don’t remember her comment very well something along those lines. Others she concentrated on dating celebrities, bo Trey Songz …people can be mean. Anyway life happens we make mistakes, and yes she should bring back necole bitchie it will still do well.

  90. @Momager soze. I did men, I have done women. I prefer women. We were just two guys talking. He told me he is 30 and that even though he is young he would date me. I debated if I should tell him that I had recently kissed a white 19 year old. But I then thought he would think I was bragging and lying so ndamyeka shem u-brothers. He showed me pics of his fiance and pics of his side chick, I would definately tap the side. She has tatts and looks like a bad bitch.

  91. @Lolo shame poor guy Im sure hé did’nt have money yokutya mhhhh ave kubuhlungu ukulamba ebusini and once kuthi montrose vele ulambe noba ubungalambanga but iyancomeka kele yokuthi jize nge airtym enintsi kangaka okanye futhi shame uzoncwasele.

  92. I told him that I would bed his side, then he said he would let me, as long as he could watch. Typical patriachal bullshit. I responded by telling him that shagging me would be HER decision and eating her would be a private affair between her and I absolutely no audience, I then told him he would have trouble getting her to come home after she experinced me.

  93. @MissAnn it’s Biotin called VitaForce, got mine from Clicks. Thanks Letebele, but my skin is too sensitive for gentle magic.

  94. @Walkaberry in the video Necole is still talking about focusing on xoNecole and her new YouTube channel. She’s confusing me uNecole. What’s stopping her from focusing on her new ventures while NecoleBitchie is still operational and making her loads of money? She lost money 3 times she says. That says a lot about her business acumen. Sometimes you have to say “screw the world” and just do you. Is she scared people are going to laugh at her for going back to “trashy” blogging? People will laugh at her, yes, but she will be laughing all the way to the bank. Who wins?

  95. Annalise Nov 1, 2016 at 3:38 pm

    I think Tsonga men are the worst, there’s a special place in hell reserved just for them #AyalimazaAmadoda
    totally agree agree na wena girla Tsonga men are crap..by the way im Tsonga

  96. Julius live on ENCA. Come one come all. Union buildings here we come tomorrow. We tired of Guptas and Zuma

  97. Momager says:

    Bastards are charmers, good looking and hard-workers…….at breaking hearts.

    @Momager you just described my partner from PE *cries* but he’s better now. A quick weigh loss remedy is to date a Xhosa man.

  98. That’s what I was also thinking JustNje that she can do all those things while necole bitchie is up and running. And Indeed she will be laughing all the way to the bank. I just don’t know, maybe she isn’t into it (trashy blogging) anymore. I wish her well on the YouTube channel and xoNecole.

  99. Phil Maseko’s younger brother and business partner has passed on. Such a young intelligent black brother. Inam still trying to make some sense in this whole thing. Drugs are dangerous good people. I am shattered!

    So sad him Cga had not met.

  100. Advocate Ngcukaitobi is not my type, but una that thing. Nothing beats intelligence in a man.

  101. I think Tsonga men are the worst, there’s a special place in hell reserved just for them #AyalimazaAmadoda
    totally agree agree na wena girla Tsonga men are crap..by the way im Tsonga

    Ladies, this up here is gospel, especially when they’re with fellow Tsonga women.

  102. I know AG is on Friday but this can’t wait…
    To cut a long story short, I just found out 2 of my acquaintances are dating the same guy. Mind you, this guy is married and he’s a serial cheater. These girls are close friends but recently had a tiff. Neither of them know that they’re dating the same guy.

    Do I tell them, or so I sit back and watch.

  103. @tummy sit back and relax it’s not your place to tell they will find out eventually LMAO
    #amadodaayalimaza# my ex fiance the day yotsiki wam kokwabo yena he was planning the night with his nyatsi mind you it was my birthday iyho.#Ayalimaza amadoda

  104. Yazi @Teddie ngisure you and I know each other.Anyway uBarry is proof that you live by the sword you will die by the sword.

    Sithelo has a beautiful baby while Uyathandeka’s baby shem arame skepsel seNkosi.

  105. You just have to love Juju for always unearthing black competent lawyers. I was reminded of that mess that was Baleka’s representation at the Nkandla thingy.
    Lelo used to run the space of ‘trashy’ blogging apha emzantsi. It’s interesting why she doesn’t do it anymore because the people that ran her off have their own site. I was bored recently and went to bhogathigate Lolo has beeen lit hey

  106. @Exiled: kudala waSa shem uLolonoator.Ndimonyanya!!! That day will always be the highlight in the history of blogging. I’m glad that internet isezaw’bakho for many many years. I’m surprised that Lelo’s never deleted that whole article. Or all the comments.

  107. @Nomi: I would have rather she deleted it than the legendary JC insider article. Yho this blog isuka kude bantwini. Been meaning to ask uba namsaphi ublack beauty okanye wadikwa naye.

  108. Jesus christ I’m so irritated. I ordered khayas book last week and I’m just waiting upon delivery now I see all these comments. I already want my money back.
    The person who wants dudus books…here you go
    Bridge Books
    85 Commissioner Street
    Johannesburg
    079 708 4461
    info@bridgebooks.co.za

  109. Pinkies driving around with beast and little beast.
    Zintle should just pack up and leave, I’m starting to feel the pain on her behalf.

  110. @Perfectsmile
    Yoh! That’s just sad man! Sorry boo
    But you right, it’s definitely not my place. Can’t wait to see how this plays out…

  111. Necole hey, heres the thing with blogs like necole bitchie and JC there is no pressure to be anything. In fact you can log on and troll after a long day of playing nice to the world or you can offer support and kindness to a blocker in need. When you turn that platform from a anything goes to a we are pc and inspirational that blog feels like work. All those how to make your life more productive type posts feel like homework. From Grid 5 times a week to wohloza, from lawyers to prostitutes, I would have NEVER met most of the types of people I have ‘met’ through JC. JC is a surprisingly positive platform because it balanced itself out. For every PVZ there is JC intellecuals, for every bogart-gate there is a you are beautiful Lelo. For every oh so the server is down again there is a beautiful review on the book whatshername. I do not think xoNecole was a good idea but if Necole loves it good for her.

  112. LIYINI IZWI?
    izwi lingumsindo ophuma
    emlonyeni usuka emqondweni,
    ngokujwayelekile ngaphambi
    kokuphuma kwezwi kuqala ngokuthi
    kubenomcabango, umcabango,
    njengezwi, yinto engabonakali
    kepha ibonakala ekugcineni ngoba
    idala ukuthi lowo ocabangayo
    enze isenzo esithile esilandela
    lowomcabango.
    IZWI NAMANDLA WALO
    Izwi linamandla okudala,
    okubusisa nakuqalekisa. Uma uthi
    kumuntu buka laphaya, nakanjani
    umuntu uphenduka abuke, uma
    uthi ngiyahlupheka, nakanjani
    uzohlezi uhlupheka, uma uthi mina
    ngiwumnqobi lezinkinga
    engibhekene nazo manje zizodlula
    bese ngiyaphumelela, kanjani
    nakanjani uzophumelela. Zibuze
    ukuthi kungani izwi lakho lifeze
    konke okubi kepha lihluleke
    ukufeza lapho ubiza okuhle?
    Kungenzeka ukuthi inkinga
    isolwimini lwakho? Mina ngeke
    ngikuphendulele kulemibuzo uwena
    onezimpendulo kulemibuzo, buka
    inhliziyo yakho, yima phambi
    kwesibuko uke umbuze lona
    ongaphakathi kwakho, uma
    kwenzeka ukhetha ukushintsha
    ucabange imicabango emihle,
    ukhulume izwi lempumelelo
    ngiyakuqinisekisa ukuthi
    uzophumelela, uma uyibophile
    inhliziyo, nokholo lungekho
    inhlupheko iyikusasa lakho.
    Ngiyanithanda nonke futhi ngifisa
    nicabange imicabango
    yempumelelo yodwa. Musa
    ukwesaba, musa ukungabaza,
    lahla leyonto oyiphethe uzophila
    nabaphilayo -Ndlondlo uMavula kuvaliwe
    *apologies to non Ngunis*

  113. APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE

    This is the last time ngekhuluma ngalento, I promise. Durbanites and surroundings abafuna isiwasho. There’s a gentleman you can get it from eMakethe for R50(premixed) instead of buying things you know nothing about for R200. Email me I’ll give you his number. Those in Jozi I’ll look for someone in faraday. Mina I dont courier sorry
    zamabuthelezin@yahoo.com

    P.S if you’re taking part kwiSguqo dont bother emailing.

    Regards
    Dr prophet mama profesor Mariah waajC

  114. Brigger, do you work for their company? He might be gone and in a way that did, he inspired a lot of people that guy. You will not believe he started this business right infront of us. And boom! It became the success that it was. At the age of 25 he was already invoicing millions. #Respect

  115. Pic or no pic Impish, Victor clearly loves Pinks and their son. Poor Z is fighting for that marriage aloned.

  116. Lolo, your life is just so interesting to me but shame on you for making the poor child labour around your bush 🙂
    .
    Bahlali, the year is over, I am so tired even after sleeping a solid 7 or 8 hours. the only thing helping keep the body moving is gym.
    .

  117. Re: Xhosa men……There is absolutely nothing wrong with Xhosa men. The problem is desperate women that accept anything from these men. If he has a girlfriend and you “KNOWINGLY” accept being a makhwapheni, trust me you will be hurt big time. He will assume that you are comfortable being second best and you will remain there.
    .
    Secondly, if you want to “please” him by allowing these patriarchal standards and “pretending” as if you can cope with them, then you are doomed. You need to be upfront about what you can/cannot do.
    .
    Thirdly, if your goal is marriage, DON’T BE SCARED TO TELL HIM SO. Xhosa men (and I assume others too) want point blank conversation. Tell them how you feel about things. don’t try to “make peace” at your expense.
    .
    AND LASTLY…I REPEAT….DON’T EVER BE PREPARED TO BE HIS SECOND BEST. RATHER LET HIM GO. IF HE REALLY LOVES YOU, HE WILL COME BACK TO YOU. One thing I know about them is that they go after what they really want.

  118. Guys, uxolo there’s no new post. I tried to load something yesterday for today but it kept crashing and I gave up. I’m down with flu,I couldn’t even go to work today. I haven’t been feeling well since Monday so I decided to listen to the Doctor’s orders and stay in bed. Askies! #NdinithandaNonkeStill

  119. I agree with you Cutie – men are natural born hunters, if they want you they will make it known, you don’t have to compromise. and a man will never respect a woman that makes it too easy for him, he needs to feel like he fought for you, Xhosa or not.
    .
    Its the fear of being alone that makes us women easy to walk all over. when the truth is that confidence and self assuredness is the most attractive thing in a woman.

  120. @Annalise it’s clear to you ke sthandwa, le love is not obvious kum. Ooh wow unesphiwo, ilove uyibona kwi car seats ze moto ka Victor LMAO

  121. Sorry Kiki wethu uphile sana.
    I was hoping we would discuss how great it is that the EFF is giving young, competent, black professionals a chance. I am so overly proud of them. I know I have spoken to it before but Tembeka Ngcukaitobi is worth it 🙂

  122. Its not easy because a lot of times ego is mixed in with feelings, you feel like the guy will chose you and you place yourself in some toxic competition with the main. that is not love, its just sick and it comes from a really broken place.
    .
    I listen to Steve Harvey a lot on relationships, I believe taking advice from a man is very helpful – you cannot be in second position and think you are going to thrive. even if some miracle happens and you become the main, you have already set the bar on how that man should treat you, you will always be second best and he will continue cheating on you.

  123. AND LASTLY…I REPEAT….DON’T EVER BE PREPARED TO BE HIS SECOND BEST. RATHER LET HIM GO. IF HE REALLY LOVES YOU, HE WILL COME BACK TO YOU. One thing I know about them is that they go after what they really want.

    Amen Mzalwane uCutie!!!

  124. FUSEG wena Impish hahaha
    But if Victor didn’t love Pinks he wouldn’t be with her still. Zintle’s religious and throwback posts are a clear indication that she’s holding on to what they had.

  125. @Cutie what if what they really want is NOT love? What if you are his second best while married/being main? But because you have what they “really want” so they stick around?

    “Lonwabo Sambudla and Dudu Zuma” case

  126. @Cutie I feel like you give these men a lot of EXCUSES! You somehow “blame” us or put a burden on us women.

  127. sofia Nov 2, 2016 at 9:55 am

    Its the fear of being alone that makes us women easy to walk all over. when the truth is that confidence and self assuredness is the most attractive thing in a woman.

  128. We wish you a speedy recovery kiki…there is so much happening in SA right now I have a headache from trying to keep up with current affairs

  129. @Annalise phuma kulorhange, @Queen_Tee and @Impish will have you for lunch and label you #AntiZintle. Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
    We love Zintle and we dont hate Pinky, we do not like Victor. But Z must use her head now, clearly the heart is misleading her. Or is it the married church members abathi makanyamezele izobuya indoda because “IF HE REALLY LOVES YOU, HE WILL COME BACK TO YOU”???

    For how long must we wait for men to decide if the relationship is going to continue or not?
    For how long must we live in hope that they will change and love us back the way we love them?
    For how long are we going to cry ourselves to sleep because “he didnt come home”

  130. Momager Nov 2, 2016 at 10:21 am

    @Cutie I feel like you give these men a lot of EXCUSES! You somehow “blame” us or put a burden on us women.
    ……….
    No I’m not @Momager. I’m saying we must NOT LET THEM play us by allowing to be their second best. That’s all. If can’t love you and you alone, then rather walk away mntase.

  131. Momager i actually like Zintle, a lot. Kodwa the truth is her man checked out of that marriage a long time ago, Her posts about the devil attacking marriages and people wanting your life are proof of that.

  132. Momager Nov 2, 2016 at 10:19 am

    @Cutie what if what they really want is NOT love? What if you are his second best while married/being main? But because you have what they “really want” so they stick around?

    “Lonwabo Sambudla and Dudu Zuma” case
    …….
    As I said before, put your happiness and needs first. You can’t be someone’s bank account and minister of finance. As women we have that “sixth” sense. We know when sincuvwa by these men. But ke some of us date/marry broke unemployed men hoping for ……I don’t know. We know that the men could be motivated by what he can get other than being inlove with you. Broke should date broke.
    .
    By the way its not only Xhosa men that marry wealthy women for their moola. You were discussing these insta women that are married to women from wealthy backgrounds…..not all of them are Xhosa.

  133. Nathi Mankayi and Vusi Nova’s albums are beautiful. I am waiting for The Soil then we are dine for this year.

  134. @Cutie … Life is not Maffins, There is no receipe to win it …. The soone we accept that we as human beings (women /men) are soooo different, the sooner we will stop thinko=ing we have figured things out and that our way of thinking is thee way.
    .
    People get into, stay in and leave relationships, for different reasons, Another thing in it is 2 world to BE IN a relationship and being a Spectator in a relationship.
    .
    Its like soccer, when you are sitting outside, you have all these good pointers but a person on the field is looking at things differently because of experiences from where each is coming from.

  135. Can i just back track… Zamaberrie? like… where is Tazvis wife? and how is she flaunting this relationship while Tazvi is still very married? Im just in awe of this!

    Then we have Pinky and Victors baby… ay like? Zintle time to cut your losses honey and move on…

  136. That awkward moment when you wake up and find that you were actually dreaming about “Mzansi News” being posted, Pearl Modiadie’s picture was first on the post and I decided to close the post to catch up on some sleep, only to realize that it was all a dream. I must get a life!!!!
    Get well soon KiKza.

  137. It is so easy for people, usually never married and single people, to be the first to tell you to cut your losses and leave your marriage. Never mind the financial and emotional burden that entails. Never mind the fact that this man decided to betray YOU – his wife. Never mind the fact that YOU will have to FIGHT TOOTH AND NAIL for your kids – kids that you decided to have TOGETHER, as a COLLECTIVE.

    It’s easy for people to tell you to move on, “forget him” they say…how do you begin forgetting? When you see his face in your kids every morning, when they ask YOU “Mama, where is dad? Why is he not staying with us anymore?” It is not easy bahlali.

    #AyalimazaAmadoda
    #TheyHaveNoIdea

  138. Is this Victor guy Xhosa?
    .
    Someone’s behavior has a to do with how they grew up and raised than their tribe or colour if their skin

  139. @RubyRed Nov 2, 2016 at 11:33 am
    I’m wondering if the state capture report was not tampered with. #worried.
    ..
    THats me, its SCARY

  140. @Sofia @Favoured I hear you not that I am being defensive but since this topic ‘iphume’ nami I have to lean towards @Favoured,sometimes people just want to leave and unexpectedly so. You can’t just let go especially when there is a child as @P-Wo mentioned but then you either go the Zinhle way or you simply let go,I chose the latter. It’s life and I can’t pin it down to ubuXhosa. I realised this to some extent was my karma,it knocked and left me five to checking at Vista. But I had to dust myself up and move on.

  141. @MisaAN … Thats true, this whole thing is not tribal based – you cant blanket certain behaiviours to certain tribes, race, religion or whatever … Its an individual journey, individual experience. Evry person involved decides based on their circumstances.

  142. @Miss_Ann – I’m sorry babe! I hope you find love and happiness. You were with a jerk qha!

  143. @MissAN…JC i am really sorry.
    So many break ups and divorces on JC, But i’m glad you choose happiness!!

  144. Is Ntskiki Mazwai a blogger? She is saying the same thing bloggers have been saying about Anele’s talk show, how she talks about herself.

    I watched her episode with Trevor Noah on YouTube izolo, hai she went on about how they are friends in real like.

    I wonder uzothini ku Blair Underwood?

  145. @Mhlonitshwa – thank you! I’m sure if he was a Xhosa man we’d be making an example ngaye right now!
    .
    The bad perception that Nigerian men have about us South African women! Yet they are not on the “blacklist”

  146. Lol @Annalise, he must divorce Zintle ke!

    @MissAnn, Yhoo haibo makoti wethu. I am sorry maan.

  147. Kuthwa there are complaints about “Whose show is it anyway”….there is a possibility of “mixing” the old presenters with the new ones I.e Unathi, Glen and Bonang. That would be a grave mistake. Unathi is very bleh without Glen and vice versa!

  148. Lol Impish, i’m not saying Z should leave wethu, that’s her choice. Kodwa ke Vic loves Pinks , maybe he loves them who knows. But ke it’s sad to watch

  149. @Sofia
    I like your way of thinking. I always find myself nodding my head when I read your comments…

  150. I agree with the blogger that said V checked out of that marriage a long time ago. Otherwise, he would make sure that Pinks is a silent side. I’m also married with kids, but I think it’s time for Z to divorce that guy. He clearly doesn’t respect her.
    I suspect she can also see this, but she won’t leave because then, pinks would be won. I feel so sorry for her though. Pinks is still 23 yrs old, so, she ll grow up one day. The sad thing about this whole saga is that V has two women competing for him, when he the as#%€ole.

  151. hello, straight out of SV. yhazi I am in the same situation as uZinhle. I am actually in limbo about it. I love my husband but I do not want the druma of having a baby from another woman. My husband is really a fucboy of note. I married him knowing a very different side of him and (new money happened) and he is just busy with around 5 woman and one is pregnant. It is very difficult and a hard decision to make. Then the elders are on some “what men doesnt cheat”. one gogo even said, this is the work of the devil testing my faith through my weak husband.

  152. Lol, what does Mabule mean vele?
    Tshiamo, someone once mentioned that V wants to make P his second wife.

  153. @tshiamo they say “kids, money and emotions” are some of the reason couples stay in unhappy marriages. 🙁

  154. @tshiamo, I also don’t understand why he doesn’t leave Z then. I suspect that Pinks also cries herself to sleep. Someone here said the baby was planned. How do you plan a baby with someone’s husband? And even proceed to name the child jr?

  155. “weak husband” lol @TashafierceJC Please Condomise if you’re still having sex with him. HIV is real

  156. MissAN…JC please contact me wethu.. tashafiercejc@gmail.com or any one who might want to assist in looking at this in another way. But really, I cannot be in a place where I am not wanted. I since moved out of the house and sadly he has not contacted me (I do not know if he is giving me space or he really has checked out of the marriage)

  157. @Tasha – I’m sorry for your ordeal. Are you working? Aren’t you worried about STI’s and leaving your small kids alone in this world? New money never last. when this man is down and out, will you be able to look at him in the eyes and still love him?

  158. Cutie Nov 2, 2016 at 9:28 am
    Re: Xhosa men……There is absolutely nothing wrong with Xhosa men. The problem is desperate women…………………

    OMG!!!

  159. @Diphetogo sadly there’s no winner here. Both women lost the minute they started competing for this A-hole. Even if Pinks eventually “wins”, he will do the same to her or worse.

  160. Askies @tashaf. How is your relationship though? How did you find out about the sides and pregnancy? Does he say he wants to work things out or he just doesn’t care?

  161. Cutie Nov 2, 2016 at 12:31 pm
    “New money never last.” LIES. Patrice Motsepe’s money was once new.

  162. Tasha – I’m so sorry babe but your marriage is over. How many kids do you have? Can you afford your own place and kids yet? When divorcing him please milk this money dry…makatye I-change yodwa mami. He must pay for “kids accommodation”, schoold fees etc. You will get someone else out there who will love you for who you are.

  163. We started very low together (like really low). He started making enough money to get us to the middle class. So it’s not about the money for me. So even without the money, I will still love him. I’m really leaning onto leaving him. Maybe I just need a small nyana push. I have to test soon (I am breastfeeding my 2year old). Saddens me that I put my life in his hands while he plays with both my life and our sons. Ever since I found out (a week ago), I moved out. So whatever I might have contracted (Lord forbid), It is already in me.

  164. @TashfierceJC forgive yourself for loving a wrong guy, your KING is waiting for you out there, someone who will treat you like a Queen. Do not move back in with him, focus on your own happiness and health.

  165. @Momager – SMH…..Patrice was a businessman who didn’t waste his money on women. These days “the majority” of BEE men get the money through tenders etc. The Municipalities are changing management and other parties are taking over. Tasha is already telling us that he’s sleeping with 5 women simultaneously. I can bet you my right hand arm that some of the see a blesser and nothing else. La mali izophela. We’ve seen musicians, artists etc going broke after retirement or when they die.
    .
    And how come its only Patrice Motsepe on the Forbes list (SA) 22 years after democracy?

  166. I am working, I make enough to take care of my son and myself. I live at home now. I can still sustain my life. I am not the extravagant type. So his share of the money will not affect me. I am not sure if he wants to make things well (considering his silence). The lady came to our place and wanted to talk to him (he was not in). So she spoke to me. He came back while the lady was there and he did not confirm or deny anything. The lady left. I confronted him and all he said was he will fix it. I packed and left. My gogo has set a meeting for the weekend.

  167. @TashafierceJC …. Seek psycological help i mean a professional , give yourself time, try to REFRAIN from church member who gives reversed advice. YOU NEED TIME to take it in, process it and decide
    .
    MOST people here at JC … they will tell you to LEAVE But Some have SURVIVED infedelities from their partners …. Seeks as much help as you can and ONLY DECIDE when you are SOBER from overwhelming emotions.
    .

  168. When JC was behind Zinhle, I was touched and never did I think weeks later, I would be in the very same situation. But I love the fact that I do not blame myself for his greed. I’m sufficient, If I was not to him, then it’s fine. I have a son, I love him and he is all that I need. And it is really not about me finding another partner. I am hurt about the fact that we come so far, holding each other down and today, I am nothing to him. Oh, I took his car to go home with it (his phone was in the car), he came to demand his phone and car but mostly his phone. He said, he doesn’t want me, so there is no reason for me to have his phone. I just took it as guilty conscience talking (maybe I am being naive). I think this marriage is over.

  169. @Tasha – I’m one of the people against telling someone “leave him”, “pack and go” but the fact that he doesn’t contact you, tells you that he doesn’t want you but his phone, doesn’t sound remorseful after being caught is a sign that he doesn’t want to work on it.

    Take time doll and never ever blame yourself. He must pay for his children though. It will hurt like hell but you will come out stronger. I hope he didn’t bring any diseases. *hugs*

  170. @TashaFierce: you just broke my heart. Strength to you sista. Like the other blogger said, forgive yourself. I know as women we tend to question where we went wrong, are we not good enough… I can’t imagine the pain you’re feeling and it’s so sad that you even have to go through such.
    Get tested, if you contracted something, it’s not the end of the world, get those meds and do you best way you can. It won’t be easy but it’s possible. *cyber hug*
    Eish!
    #KunzimaKwaLove

  171. yesses these sides bayadelela ! I also agree its time for Zinhle to either open up her home for Pinky and junior or just check of that relationship. and why is Pinky’s baby in a big car seat the one for 6 months and above.. I was advised to buy an infant one first not the one from 6 months etc..

  172. Eish I am so sorry Tasha. You sound like you are in a good space emotionally though. I will not comment about PVZ shem. I wish Pinky can donate that car seat to me coz I am stuck with the infant one and my son untangles himself and stands looking out of the window. I know Zintle doesn’t want my sympathy but she has it.

  173. @MissAnn, I wish I had your genes. Instead of melting my weight off from heartbreak, it just piled up. And I don’t eat that much at all. From size 36 to 40 !!! But all of a Sunday, I am getting a lot of attention and dinner dates and all.
    @Tasha, I’m also going through a divorce, I decided to stay in our home and not leave. I wasn’t about to go buy new microwaves and fridges and heaters in new place. I must say it has been tough year and time has been healing my pain. The divorce is almost over and I have potential baes lined up to create new memories. Don’t sit at home and cry yourself to sleep all the time. Infact, dress up, show up and have fun. A wise woman told me to start making new memories in order to replace the old ones. And it has worked. I still believe in love and I know that I will get married one day again. I’m a sucker for love. If leaving me and the kids make him happy, so be it. I will happy too eventually.
    I pray everyday for strength and calmness – And I am ok.

  174. Victor Modiba is having both his cakes and eating them ha monate jwang ! The women are not prepared to leave him and he is just having the time of his life. He started this mess and now the two ladies are the leading actors in his mess and he is just a happy spectator.

  175. A wise woman told me that a man cheating is “Nice life problems”. We hurt differently as people and heal differently, in same situations. I’m in a good space. Maybe the reality is still not sunken in but for now, I’m ready for anything. I also feel how will I ever trust him again. How do I look at him in bed. It is too much. Will “honey I am working late” mean he really is. Thank you all for the love. I will report back next week after the family meeting. A beautiful week to all of you.

  176. @Mabebeza – Yho I’m so sorry Babe! Kanti what is happening na with these men? You sound like you are healing and that’s good.

    @Tasha – I think you are still in shock (understandably so) and you may hurt a while later.

    Strength to all of you ladies (including Mathaz). I’m sad man

  177. @TashafierceJC “A wise woman told me that a man cheating is “Nice life problems”.
    That woman doesn’t sound very wise at all. What a screwed up thing to tell someone.

  178. oh, she meant that there are so many people suffering about a whole lot of things. So I shouldn’t cry a river for a man who choose to cheat on me. There are a lot of things to be grateful about. Life does not revolve around men and failing relationships.

  179. I think they gonna pair Unathi and Somizi, Khanyi and Glen then Bonang and Ntombi,my friend thinks they gonna pair Bonang and Somizi, my friend is a big dreamer

  180. Victor is a better husband than most of yallz husbands who make you worry about making ends meet because the husband will not work hard enough. Victor works hard and his family is very well looked after. FINANCIALLY. Some of yallz are stuck with men who “don’t cheat” but at work you are annoying colleagues by selling Tupperware, Forever nton-nton and Avon. Nize nithengisa nama loose draws so as to make ends meet. A husband who provides inadequately is MORE abusive shem.

  181. Favoured we are impatiently waiting, Zuma must Just Resign this whole thing has been a huge mess ngyamvuma u Julius even though I don’t trust him either. .

  182. LOOOOL lolo uyahhema kodwa ke umuntu akalahlwa…Respect is priceless and so is faithfulness, loyalty and staying hiv-, uncono ngisho u garden boy kunalento ewu Victor,akuso Ndoda leya.

  183. Some of yallz are stuck with men who “don’t cheat” but at work you are annoying colleagues by selling Tupperware, Forever nton-nton and Avon…..I am dead. Ungayilibali iAvroy nton nton and coins etc.
    I am laughing like I am not broke.

  184. Jayonce it is an utter disrespect to marry a woman then stay a garden boy, starving her, making her constantly worry about money. That is disrespectful. To make a woman go to the food shops with your kids, while not having enough cash to get all the things she needs. To have her deal with screaming toddlers who demand chocolate while the mother has to beat the chocolate-want out of the toddler. That right there is freaking disrespect. I see this kind of disrespect near the tills at Shoprite, all the treats that are left in shopping baskets, unpaid for because there was not even money for freaking mayonnaise. It is utter bullshit. A man who ALLOWS for his kids to be raised in that manner is bloody disrespectful. Victor respects BOTH woman . He provides for them.

  185. I wish BB and Sifelani were here so that they can balance me on more info on Babeswomthetho. #YesIamobsessed
    Is anyone of you gonna balance us on the state capture report when it comes out at 🙂

  186. As I lower my expectations 🙁 I think Lolo has a point. I mean there is really no prize for this long suffering wife nonsense. Look at Tasha, she was there when the man was garden boying, now that he was a little money he is living his best life, risking hers in the process. Maybe its safer to just marry well and get comfortable with your husband coming home smelling like bubble gum flavored condoms.

  187. @Annalise lol I don’t know what the name means but Kgaugelo Modiba commented on Pinky’s pic a re “Mabule ke leina la ka gae thwiii”. Pinky then made sure to tell the masses that ke leina la koga Modiba. Lol

  188. hayyi kunzima kwa DEPARTMENT OF LOVE….what more sickening is how it has suddenly become a trend for married men to cheat and the side dishes to publicize their relationship like lento abayenzayo i-right ibe i-left….yazi being a side check has suddenly become something that people accept, like it is a norm while the wife must suffer. Phela lento esiyenzeka lana e-world sekuyi-MPICABADALA…

  189. I can even see the public side chick but problem is this bringing back souvenirs called junior. Like, what is life?

  190. How is nomzamo related to the late Carla and why is she saying Carla wud be 22 and she’s 23on the picture where she’s crying as babies she look way much older than than her .someonepls help understand

  191. Sorry Tash, I hope the good Lord has covered you and you are free from any nasties – Amadoda ayahlupha.
    .
    Lolo you raise an important perspective, would you rather a dead beat provider who is honest and faithful or a man who can give you the world financially but, is loose??? I fantasize that the latter would work for me because I despise poverty but, I equally despise the risk of contracting all sorts of nasty diseases. I don’t know what the answer is. its easier to just be single and play the field, perhaps find a companion in your old age. I really don’t know

  192. ehhe phela angithi kumele kube NONDLALIFA…yingakho bemitha right, left and centre….Izigqondo bazishiya eBHOSHI

  193. @Tasha you seem to be placing a lot of your faith on that family meeting. You know the elders are going to say bekezela. Vuka ntombazane!!! Kulate. I say attend the meeting, abide for that very moment and go fix yourself emotionally and physically hotness. Family is not feeling your pain, only you lady. Only you.

  194. @Titi502 Nomzamo’s Aunt married a Portuguese guy & they produced Carla and that makes Carla & Nomzamo cousins/sisters. Carla is 18months younger than Nomzamo.

  195. Melody and Nonhle ndala are good for Mrs Gigabyte now she attending make-up lessons. Norma really looks beautiful for a change in that photo she posted IG!! Now they school her on how to choose sunglasses that suite the shape of her face.

  196. Hayi Bahlali this divorce talk has me feeling some typa way.. please gps me to a dating site that does not require me to have a facebook account. I tried Tinder but could not go through with it because I have no facebook..@Poshness please leave your email address I need to talk to you about something (work related ie cancer)

  197. Thankyou for responding!!you guys were right about Anele making everything about her she’s trying to hard.she likes acting as if she’s clever nyana so show off lol

  198. @Lolo: I don’t like the idea that you can’t have it all. Of course you can! A man who is able to provide all basic needs (and more) and who is also loving, caring and most importantly, not the cheating type!
    Let’s stop blaming women please.
    But then I know women always end up compromising … men never compromise. You cheat once (even if it was just a date/kiss), he’s gone.Isono sabafazi is being too emotionally involved in relationships, it’s not easy to walk away,but it is necessary when a man doesn’t show remorse and is not willing to fix things (not just say it, but really fix it!).
    Ukunya kweNtlanganiso.The meeting was called by the family, not (on behalf of) the guy, so it’s useless.
    I do confidently say, don’t go back to him Tasha- do it for you, your health,sanity and your child.

    Find a nanny to relieve you and start going out.NguDisemba soon,get a make over and uyoJayva lavie,uhure and condomise.Go for a health check up.

    Oh, if he’s not giving you money (for the child) go to court and divorce him later when you’re ready for that.

  199. Most of my friends are in Zintle’s situation and shame,as painful as it may be,however,as a friend,I had to distance myself from their ongoing sad saga because it all began to sound like a broken LP record.I mean who would want to listen to the same problem for over 5yrs.No,no,no, sometimes one has got to face the situation and deal with it or better yet,keep quiet about it.
    It’s unfortunate that some of them have gotten angry with me for not entertainin their dilemmas anymore.It’s true that the only person who feels the heat in añ adulterous marriage is the one who is being wronged.If they don’t act upon it,then no one else can and should tell them what decisions to make.

  200. @MY.YR; your comment reminds me of a Whatsapp status I saw that read “If you’re not gonna leave, then let him cheat in peace”. ?

  201. Its women who are willing to settle for any rubbish that compromise the standards of the majority of us! If husbands knew that they couldn’t get easy side dishes, and their wives wouldn’t stand for infidelity then none of this would be so prevalent. But alas, we happily”like” and “lol” these situations on social media even as married women!We have made our bed bafazi!

  202. Hhayi lolo no Sofia most women these days make their own money njengo zintle,so umuntu akakwazi ukuba indoda kimi ngoku ngondla ngibe ngi afforda,imali syakwazi kuyisebenza sifuna Inhlonipho nokuthembeka qha!

  203. Hey guys. I have read many comments about you buying staff from Ali express. so basically the staff are being delivered from china to? SA? And while checking online the price are in dollars not rand. or perhaps there is a certain website yall ordered your sfaff from. please assist

  204. Exiled, there’s a place near clearwatermall where you can exchange your car seat (you either exchange or get for “free” then donate somethingnyana but donating money is not a must… will try remember the name of the place. I think jacarandafm was donating car seats this morning…

  205. I totally agree with you Nomi… the “family meeting” is going to be more about her than it’s about him.. as if she made him cheat.. or she’s the one who cheated..

  206. Eish, but, cheating causes pain guys. I wish men and their sides could appreciate this. It hurts like a mother f#cker.
    Mna I take zintle’s side in these situations. She didn’t ask for this. Sure now she has a decision to make, but nobody can say she deserves this.

    Victor on the other hand can burn in hell.

    Like, if you are going to cheat the keep it clean, use a damn condom and don’t bring back live evidence of your affairs. It’s not even great for kids to know they were born out of such situations.

  207. I agree nomSofoSofo @Sofia: impregnating someone while married is way beyond disrespectul. Now Vic Jnr will be called “umgqakhwe” because Vic Snr failed to use a condom.Sies!..

  208. I agree nomSofoSofo @Sofia: impregnating someone while married is way beyond disrespectul. Now Vic Jnr will be called “umgqakhwe” because Vic Snr failed to use a condom.Sieeees!

  209. Kgante who is this victor zIntle and punky are you always talking about .what are they famous for .I’m always lost and you guys talk about them a lot .

  210. @YR most women are in Zintle’s situation, some unknowingly for now. One of the reasons we find ourselves in this shitty situation is that we are socialised to idolise marriage and men, and most women are not ambitious but want money, then we rely on men for that money, hence, no matter how much he cheats you stay because he supports your lifestyle, you are reliant on him.

    Men were socialised differently, they are groomed to be married-bachelors, they can cheat and a woman will have to live with it because marriage means a lot to women, men know we looooove money and a good life, we will stay with them for it.

    But above all, women are defined by marriage, without marriage they feel they are failures. Yes, marriage is an important part of life but maybe we must start a revolution to change the status quo for our daughters, so they find better men when they grow up. Divorce them when they cheat!!! let’s introduce a different socialisation.

  211. @Nomi you spoke so much truth there…we all react differently to situations…I believe Zinthle will one day leave V; she is just not ready.Let’s give her time.Just as there are stages of grief when one has lost a loved one…so is divorce.There is alot that one goes through before they can call it quits. @Tash…If I were you I will not attend the meeting; it will only bring you more pain and harm.No family can ever convince a man to treat you right and love you if he does not want to.Rather seek professional help.You are still breastfeeding take care of yourself and don’t feed your son your brokenness.

  212. @Mathaz I agree, you cannot just up and leave a life you’ve built for years, where you have invested a lot emotionally, mentally and physically as well as financially. For some, it takes the same amount of years they invested to accept or even be ready to leave.

    In the beginning, you try to make sense of it all, try different things to remedy the situation and take it back to the great years, you ask yourself – what changed? is it me? maybe I need to loose weight, maybe, maybe maybe…. lapho the man yena he’s really gone emotionally, he is there physically. I also understand where Zintle is coming from, she will act accordingly whichever way when she is ready.

  213. @Mathaz I am reading the state capture report..I came in early to read it before the office chaos starts

  214. Morning bahlali…..re: State Capture Report. Isn’t it ironic that Fana Hlongwane’s name keeps popping up in most of Zuma’s scandals. It was first the arms deal saga now the State Capture debacle. It’s quite evident where he gets his wealth from. Morena boloka setjhaba sa heso.*sigh*

  215. Some kids have it easy…whilst some of us are slaving away in our little cubicles,Abanye bantwana own property in Dubai & have become overnight billionnaires. Thiza!!!!

  216. @Jayonce uyabheda. Women are most definitely NOT making money. Even the women who are employed, who do the same work as men, get paid an average of 17% LESS than men do. This is according to a South African study done in this country just LAST (2015) year. So In order for us as women to earn the same annual salary as the men, after twelve months. We would have to work an extra TWO MONTHS. That is the reality of the WORLD. So a man can miss me with the bullshit of the “respect” that comes from him using his penis EXCLUSIVELY on me. I want CASH mna. Ndiphe imali, then use you pipi wherever. With whoever. I will just use a condom with your ass, and when it is time to procreate. We will use spermwashing to conceive, wash the germs from the litttle swimmers. Otherwise. SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!!!

  217. I was having a conversation with my married friends about cheating. I asked them why they cheat. One friend in particular, his response was that he lost faith in women. women are the biggest liars, they can fuck around with ease. his example was that he has been fucking his boss’s wife. The wife called and asked (blatantly so) if they can bang just once and he obliged (i denounced him for smashing another man’s wife, especially the one he know). He then suggested I hook up with some chick called Mihlali on instagram… THIS LIFE..To you all with cheating husbands, forgive then for they do not know what they are doing…

  218. Blackstallion, I was reading your post with interest thinking you were going to deliver some breakthrough. kanti your friends cheat because they don’t trust women in general?? no man. go back and dig more, we need concrete insights. we need to land this before the year is over, why do men and women for that matter cheat?? is it just a thrill or what?
    .
    So wena blackstallion you don’t cheat?

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