Oh gosh, I die for this ALBUM! Die, die, die!

All I gotta say is, If you loved CONFESSIONS, you’ll love Raymond vs Raymond so GET IT!

Here’s Usher’s brand new video for There Goes My Baby. I haven’t really watched it, coz each time I try I close my eyes when I hear the song… I can’t help it. I’ll try watch it tomorrow…

See if you can … *deep slow breath*

*Faints*

Usher- There Goes My Baby from LowKey on Vimeo.

Look, with the World Cup nearing an end, if you weren’t lucky enough to score a Big Shot businessman from abroad, askies!  But all is not lost ladies. I’m pretty sure that by now you’ve learned your lesson and realized that all these men who were in South Africa aren’t necessarily rich but rather sports fanatics who had about four years to save up for the trip to Mzansi! After all, people knew about the World Cup six years before it actually happened so I wouldn’t be surprised if amongst our foreign visitors we had regular blokes who work at McDonalds or packers at Department stores!

So because I’m not selfish and I love happy endings, I thought to myself; “Wait a minute? Some of my South African sisters were probably taken for a ride by these international low-life-scum-bags and weren’t even paid a dime after they outdid themselves performing their best sex tricks, giving these foreign men sexual pleasures.Lemme be kind and introduce them to some elite South African businessmen who might wipe away their tears.?”

So if you play your cards right; a good chance to score permanent residency in Le Good Life is guaranteed! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity ladies and basically a copy of Khanyi Mbau’s Database! Happy Shopping!

Meet our Top 10 Pick  of Powerful men!

10: Julius Malema

President of The ANC Youth League by day, Socialite by night and lashes out to the Media to cure his hang over! Very popular with the girls too!

9. Zizi Kodwa

President Zuma’s Spokesperson and Mr Extravagant! If you don’t know this guy, ask all the girls rocking real human hair, brazilian weave or indian hair! I won’t say much phela he’s a comrade and I don’t wanna disappear without a trace! *hides in exile*

8. Collen Mashawana

CEO of Vharani Consulting! Not shy to put his hand in his very deep pocket and he’s Venda ladies! If that means anything to you! Psss

7. Eric

He doesn’t need a surname he is THE Eric, son of Gabon President. God knows what he does but he’s filthy rich (Ask Babalwa and Precious Makgaretsa)
Big baller! Has money like dust!

Bongani

6. Bongani Mbindwane

CEO of Platfields Limited. Former Managing Director, Miyas Commercial Fishing; Director of various mining and exploration companies; Ubambo Investments; Property Tender Board Member and Property Committee Member, Western Cape Provincial Government; Environmental Consultant, ECS and City of Cape Town. – I hear he runs you a Moet bath and dries you using his tongue!

5.  Fana Hlongwane

Made his millions if not billions through the arms deal. Known for his high-flying lifestyle in Johannesburg’s northern suburbs and he also goes by the name “Styles” because of his taste for the good things in life.

4. Kenny Majozi Kunene

Rich MuthaF*@ker! Co-owns ZAR! Plenty of other Businesses, ask Sophla GP!

Gayton

3. Gayton McKenzie

Former gangster turned businessman! Co-owner of Sandton’s new Night Club, ZAR! For those who like them Dangerous! Very good friends with number 4!

2.  Wandile Motlana

Group Executive Chairman of Kensani PtyLTD he also co-founded Tirelo Capital in 1995, a joint venture with Nedbank Corporate. He has Coessa consortium which built the first major black-owned mixed use complex in Cape Town’s Foreshore under his belt. Also an investment committee member of Enablis and the Khula Loan and Equity Fund *Apparently Khanyi Cried and Begged to be with this guy, he eventually issued her with a retraining order! Kwaaaaaaa!

And our number one spot goes to Mzansi’s undisputed CandyMan! The Official Money Spender, Certified Billionaire! All the ladies loooooove him! Ask all the yellow bones, he must have hit on all of them! Drum Rollllllllllll!

1. Mabheleni Ntuli

Nuff Said! DONE!

And that is your list Ladies! Ten Rich South African Men all Gold Diggers want in their beds! Very wealthy and they lead very extravagant lifestyles! Look, I’m talking breakfast in Cape Town, lunch in Durban, supper in Mozambique and a private party inside the Gautrain!

By XtraLargePtyLtd ©

A few reactions from the local celebs…

Check out the Movie’s Trailer to make up your mind…

Aaaah, what can I say!!!

Black Coffee has arrived and he owns this city! (Sorry Young Nation)

There’s no video out yet and I can’t wait … just had to post this up and say WOW!!!!! I love it..  Listen to it here… and quickly go out to buy the album, awesome, awesome!

and the absolute star of the track… Bucie!

Aaaaah, such talent!!!! We like it, right?

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Aaaah, Usher’s back!!! Whatever beef I had with him in the past is over! Love this song and video…

“Hey Daddy (Daddy’s Home)”

This is my theme of the week!

Gotta Keep It Going!

Guest Blog: Bongani Nkabinde:

The Hugh Hefner of r&b is back. Arguably the most talented recording artist alive in popular music circle, YES, I said it, let me know when you find an artist who can convincingly, on unaccompanied productions, not only offer you unrivaled r&b tunes, rock sounds, outshine most rappers on the rhymes, do opera and then usher us into the third heaven on his gospel melodies.

Kells does all these with ease, but if you were hoping for something along the lines of Chocolate Factory, R Kelly or R, then again you will be disappointed by this album that is lethargically named “Untitled”.

“Untitled” should’ve been unreleased. But before we move on with the review of this record let’s retro back to 2008/09 when Mr. Kelly held back what was supposed to be his ninth studio album “12 play 4^th quarter” on reasons of album leakage, as if the new one wasn’t leaked. What actually happened here is that the r&b thug thought he would pull the same stunt twice and get away with it…, not to be. Let’s travel further back to 2002/03 when he withheld the “Love-land” album on the same reasons of fraud only to drop a few months later the magnificent, ingenious “Chocolate Factory”.

What makes R. Kelly’s trickery a flop this time around is that the Chocolate Factory record was a masterpiece; in fact, the Canadian Press has named it as one of the top 10 albums of the decade, deservedly so.

This album is crappy by Robert’s talent, not his standards, which most of us know by now are so high school, acquitted or not. Katt Williams once said referring to the late Michael Jackson, “if you are called a crack head for over 20 years, chances are you are a crack head”, teenagers will love this album.

The first three tracks lay a nasty foundation of what the album is all about. 1^st Mr. Kelly meets his girls at the club, gets drunk (track one, “Crazy night”),secondly,  goes for the club’s exit door with his victim (track two, “Exit”) and thirdly, they go do one of two things R. Kelly boastfully says he has no competition on (track 7 “Like I do”), that is, sexing a woman till she yodels (track three, “Echo”), mzansi girls would probably go “kwa kwa kwa” and oh!, the other thing he says he’s unmatched on is making music, big headed. But I have to warn you, these tunes are catchy, you’ll end up yodeling yourself on your way to work.

What’s clever about the album, which is synonymous with R Kelly, is that the arrangement of these songs is not your ordinary type of r&b pattern, so they become exciting regardless of lyrical content, its senseless fun

“Untitled” is a bunch of verbal intercourse about how R Kelly gives the greatest sex, from “Banging the headboard”, to “Go Low” and “Whole lotta kisses in your private spot” one formula is applied, no grown woman can be enticed by the lyrical content of this album, so brothas, refrain from copying these lyrics, they will definitely work on most high school girls, it’s no wonder they can’t seem to pass their matric, I’m just saying.

“Be my number #2” is an 80s funk type of a tune with nicely laid horns that will have you stepping in no time, it’s  Jamiroqaish, however, the lyrical content is weak, strictly for the players. He ends the song by giving a spank to “all the hating mother-f***”, hilarious.

Then there’s the ‘sms’ song, “Text  me” which is about planning a bedroom meeting later on the day, this track has The Dream’s elements in it but he’s not on the production. This reminds me of D.O.K (Death of Kells) a diss track by Trey Songs about how R. Kelly has become a follower in the music game instead of a trend setter we had come to know him to be. Songs was irritated by infinite auto tuning on the Double Up record and the overall unimpressive production therein (as if he makes better music). He went on to say that if throwing stones at the throne wakes the king, then consider them thrown. Looks like the king almost woke up, excerpt for the 1^st track, there aren’t recognizable T-pain –in-the-ass trends on the Lp. Probably the more decent tracks are “Religious” and “Elsewhere” , these songs ‘almost’ make u appreciate the sound of ballads. I say ‘almost’ because they are not really great songs but they are listenable and saner, at least he’s not promising anyone the greatest “Number One” sex.

Enter the star studded “Pregnant”, a classic from the mediocre archives. This song features proven music makers in the music industry, Robin Thicke, Tyrese and The Dream. So the four wise men took to studio to spew bile about how they want to make some ignorant young girl pregnant, I say young girl because, again, no grown woman in her right mind would fall for such gibberish.

If you are looking for a dedicated, well penned production stay away from this album, but if you are into senseless fun, run to the nearest music shop, you might just be on time to make this album go gold after over a month since released, defiantly not by R. Kelly’s musical standards, or is it definitely…

Verdict: As Phat Joe would say , 2.5 phat lips out of 5.

By: Bongani Nkabinde

_______________________________

Note from Editor:

This is a Guest Blog but I’m so laughing my ass off at this review. Would you like Bongani to write more reviews for us? Please let us know coz I’m ready to welcome him to the team, right NOW! BS.

The Barack Obama Book Review

I have always been indifferent when it comes to Barack Obama. I couldn’t understand how his victory affected me or any South African for that matter. It is until I read his autobiography, Dreams from My Father: A Story of Race and Inheritance, that I started to respect the man. After I read the last page I felt that I knew the man personally.

The book begins from the time he was a student in New York, staying in a tiny apartment. Through-out the book he relates his life story, from the time he was born, his parents’ divorce, having a crocodile pet in Indonesia, growing up with white maternal grandparents, his rebellion as a teenager, his quest to find identity and meaning to life, his community organizing in Chicago, meeting his father for the first time. Until the time he visited his father’s birthplace, Kenya, for the very first time.

There is a sad and sombre tone about the book, at least most part of it. Obama takes the reader to the most inner part of his thoughts and feelings. He narrates, with passion, how it is like being a black person in America. How white people are still in control of everything and how that resulted in black people being cynical, apathetic and hopeless.

He tells a story that we all can relate to. Going through its pages, I was reminded of my own life – growing up without a father, trying to belong. His memoir is beautifully written and well thought out. What impressed me is his honesty and innocence – or the lack thereof. My favourite part of the book is when he decided that he can bring the change in his life and that he is the change. And off he went to Chicago to really begin his life.

Dreams from My Father has the perfect answer to some of life’s important questions. I’d recommend it to anyone who wants real change and how to go about achieving it.

Favourite Quote From The book

My stepfather Lolo said, “Men take advantage of weakness in other men. They’re just like countries in that way. The strong man takes the weak man’s land. He makes the weak man work in his fields. If the weak man’s woman is pretty, the strong man will take her. Which would you rather be? Better to be strong. If you can’t be strong, be clever and make peace with someone who’s strong. But always better to be strong yourself. Always.”

By Sithe ©

Oh wow!! Loving Skwatta Kamp’s Summer Song. As for the video, it’s okay… minus Slikour being “manhandled” by those chicks… that don’t look sexy at all babe!!!

Absolutely loving Kruna on vocals…he’s definitely my highlight of this track!  Well done boys!

P.S. When are we getting a song for WINTER??? Njalo Summer song, summer song…

Absolutely love this song but I want you to please watch the video and tell me if I’m seeing things or whether MXO’s face really is swollen? He even looks like Bakstina :

Ngempela, check him out…

Faces aside, this is a dope video! And I know my reaction is late but what the heck!

*scrolls up to the first pic to drool on Tebogo*

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