Countdown To 2017!

Countdown To 2017!


Countdown to 2017 what will you be doing with whom ko-kae?


Festival goers will welcome the 2017 New Year with some of the biggest names in South African music when East London hosts its 3rd Annual Countdown Music Festival. The annual event will kick off with a music concert at Buffalo City (ABSA) stadium in East London.

The event is organized by LGVN Events and will feature well-known musicians like Nathi, Ray Phiri, Kwesta, Vusi Nova, Zonke, Mobi Dixon and some established local artists. For the first time since its inception, the festival will be hosted for two days creating a greater opportunity for local artists to perform much longer. (31 December 2016 and 01 January 2017)

Organiser Malindi Nkente said this year they were bringing to the Countdown stage some exciting local talent such as Afro soul singers Naledi and Sinovuyo. 

“We have sourced some of the best Eastern Cape talent for this year’s event. We are hoping to elevate these artists to a national level as we have previously done with other artists” 

Nkente said the event is sponsored by Buffalo City Metro Municipality, Eastern Cape Parks and Tourism and partnered with SABC and J4Joy Foundation. “Gates open at 2pm and the main show starts from 6pm until 4am the next” she said.

Supplied Content and image.


  1. Definitely will be going to this event. Glad there’s no Babes wodumo and her man, EL is not here for them.

  2. I’ll be home with my mom drinking coldrink. Ibuhlungu this respect thing hey…..I respect her so much I would never go out to party or drink in front of her.

    AG:YazI I am so stressed , I am not looking forward to 2017 at all. My contract at work is coming to an end and I have a bad feeling about it . Ngathi it’ll be a long 2017 for me but sizobona.

    Happy new year bahlali, niz’phathe kale.

  3. For the past 10yrs or so I have been spending my new year’s even partying and drinking with friends. This year I feel different, I want to be at home with my kids. Next yr I am entering into what they call “mid 30s”, and I am starting to look at life differently. 2016 showed me flames shame, I lost weight, got pimples in my face and I stress nje besibhalwe kumina. Last night I cried for the last time, about how difficult life is/has been for me.
    The other day a bloggers said ” there is so much to live for” (or something like that). I realized that I have been a victim of life, be it my relationship/family life/work, konke nje kungilimazile and nami ngakuvumela. I am done being a victim. Its time I dust myself off and live.
    I have a job I love and do well, I have my children who loves me, my man who sometimes loves me unconditionally (ngezinye izinsuku he is an ass and a half), but all in all I DO have a LOT to live for.

    So in 2017, I am going to excel at my job (promotion time in Jan/Feb), ngiyayifuna le promotion, I am going to be the best Mom to my kids (been too depressed at times I forget abt them) and take care of my relationship.
    I see a great year ahead, damn I will make it great 🙂
    HAPPY NEW YEARS BAHLALI, I got magga love for u all. Your advise, rudeness (hides) and everything else is why I keep coming back.. Much lovies :-*

  4. For almost all my 30’s, my friends and I would go to Swaziland for NYE. This year, it hasn’t even come up. It was such a bore last year. This year, a friend suggested we do the Graham Beck’s event in Pmb this time. If it was elsewhere and didn’t require being dressed to kill, I’d definitely go. As much as it was a party we attended in SD, we always just chilled outside our chalets and listened to the music sihleli comfortably, go to the crowd for the countdown, then back to the chalets or the pool. Sleeping at the venue, no driving. I want a similar setup. Anything like that somewhere?

    Mom’s bff is so traumatised bakithi. For over 20yrs, it’s always been the two of them on NYE. This year uzobe eyedwa. Am tempted to even go spend it naye…but Oros must fall, and I’m ok with kids for now (her grandkids will be there)

  5. Im a new mom so spending time at home with babies and family.

    In other news….Bonang met AKAs family.

  6. Morning bahlali.

    @Mr Right

    Please GPS us kulomqhomo nisilahle kuwo siyozichola please and thank you.
    Masithembe nonwabile apho nikhoyo.

  7. So guys Lupi Ngcayisa (Sinesipho’s father) went
    all classist on twitter saying that people who wear clothes from Cotton on do not deserve to drink veuve clicquot. And most SA celebs wear fakes.

    Yhu! Did they not drag him. Here is what they said about him:
    1. He has forgotten to quickly that he was homeless and use to sleep on friend’s couches. (Unathi and Badboy t’s couch)
    2. He is acting fresh thinking that he is rich by association just because he hangs out with the wealthy Stella Buthelezi.
    3. Twitter also reminded him that he was busy begging people for money to buy Shamrock pie and now that he has tasted ANC money he thinks he is better.
    4. Shocker of shockers! His son Phalo , is actually his grandchild. I have looked at Sinesipho’s header. Where there is that boyfriend of hers looks exactly like Phalo. So in 2016 oLupi are doing such!

  8. Nicely put @NtombeMhlophe. I am taking some of your energy and advice into the new year.
    2016 was ROUGH! Namanje suicide seems like the best option but I think of my mom and my niece and I sober up. I get anxiety and panic attacks on the daily that oftentimes I struggle to breathe for a minute or two. But I need to take this new year by the horns and LIVE, and look at the silver lining in every cloud.

    No mogroovo for me. I will be indoors coz I was and still am a party pooper (I’m always told this haha)

  9. @Northie I saw tweets about Cotton On and Veuve and Sandton Club. People like acting brand new on social media hey, it’s worse on Twitter (ok that’s the only platform I’m active on). The other day someone RT’d tweets on my TL. So this person uthi how do you guys survive this heat without aircon and a pool. Another tweep responded athi the same way you did before you had them. LMAO! Maybe he had them since he was born hahahaha but they quickly fetched him.

  10. Gogo uLupi must stunt on people his age ayeke absntwana who are 20+yrs his juniors..That cant be Sinesipho’s baby,when was she pregnant?Phalo looks like her bf coz her bf looks exactly like esalukazi esihu Lupi

    2017 we all glowing up,all areas of our lives,we live behind zonke inhlungu,ukuhlupheka nenyembezi,if siyakhala kuzoba kuzi happy tears,akho ozosala

  11. @P-wo,molo sthandwa, I saw your comment the other day, be strong love,yonke into izoba right . I think inyongo idlala ngam,I’m taking a break from alcohol, but ndizobuyela from 5 pm lol

  12. hello maNene nama Nenekazi, 2016 is finally coming to an end, What a year its been! mina nje i am grateful i still have life that means another chance to rectify my mistakes and do better. as for NYE the past 2 years i have been at my inlaws and not much is done there except crickets and neighbours loud music. This year its all about me, i am going to be in church if not will be home alone!! BE SAFE and whatever you do be HAPPY:)

  13. @Northie haibo that can’t be Sinesipho’s child if that’s what you mean, she was never pregnant but I have wondered about the identity of Phalo’s mom.
    Someone please rescue Sthelo from that flat she’s stuck in ifestive yonke, kuyadabukisa. Even that snapstory esho ukuthi the baby is driving her crazy :'(

  14. “I’m taking a break from alcohol, but ndizobuyela from 5 pm lol” hahahaha – me too

    My nephew is right at home elokshini…uvuka ayokhanda izimoto nomkhulu wakwamakhelwane, today badlala umaskandi, ucula top volume. He’s a man’s man lol. Talking about men, I gotta find me one summer fling

  15. Your nephew sounds so cute @Sifelani hahaha.

    Eish guys waitse sometimes I wish alcohol didn’t make me so sick. One glass of wine or vodka& cranberry juice is enough to make my stomach churn 🙁 Akunzima

  16. Mini AG tog I need to vent. I think I just got stood up by a friend who has been begging me to make time for her. When I do she doesn’t pitch! Worse she is not answering or responding to my texts and I can see from her last seen that she has seen it. As if I didn’t have plans today #ZiyalimazaitlTshomi

  17. V.Becks sweetheart please try yoga. I am using that to treat my depression. Find a good yoga studio orit is too expensive join a gym and take classes. Speak to the instructor so they can help you perform asanas correctly I promise you it will make you feel brand new regardless of your situation. I’m going through some stuff right now and it is helping me.

    ZamaOkuhle sisi I need to contact you. I have spiritual issues please provide me your details, I really need you sisi please.

    The blogger with the email address noxiigigi sister please you’ve got mail, I really need your help.

    Let’s keep safe bloggers I want to see you active on this site next year. Reading this blog keeps me sane most times.

  18. @Karen, I’m taking it a day at a time sana – kuzolunga.
    He is back from Mauritius – I received the call last night. Kunzima ke ungcokola naye because intliziyo yam ibuhlungu so I’m just keeping my distance.

    Staying put at my mom’s place until I give birth and even after that. Umntu can come and fetch his Lobola if kukho ingxaki. We’re planning a braai for NYE – just mom, me and my unborn.

    Stay safe bahlali please.

  19. “Reading this blog keeps me sane most times”

    Ditto @Cherish.
    I have always wanted to do yoga, but I can’t go to a yoga studio coz money dololo. I will get a DVD and start ASAP. Futhi I think I should check it tomorrow and start next week, hopefully there’s a sale somewhere.

    @P-w0 darly *hugs* Wena take care of that precision cargo. That’s your priority right now

  20. I broke up with my baby daddy of my 2 months old daughter, for some odd reason I’m relieved. I’m a first-time mother n I trust I will be alright.

    Happy New year family, love you ma JC amahle

  21. @P-wo yazi I don’t understand this returning lobola thing when a woman is heavily pregnant and about to have a baby why return it? Tell me ladies is it a pride or what? And after this guy gives you problems with supporting the child that you end up in the maintenance court? If I were a woman I would save that money for my baby probably invest it somewhere for when shim old can go to school or whatever. Why returning the lobola when you have been so damaged woman??? Tell me.

  22. @Spanish – I said “Staying put at my mom’s place until I give birth and even after that. Umntu can come and fetch his Lobola if kukho ingxaki”. There is the perception that since he has paid lobola I am to live with him until I give birth (from his family side). I am his wife traditionally and therefore have to behave as such hence my statement above.
    The money will always be there, he left me at my most vulnerable where I could have given birth at any time, he went and had a jol for two and a half weeks no phone calls, nothing. Upon his return ingathi akhonto yenzekileyo erongo, im expected to pick myself up, wear big girl panties and show up as an “african wife should” because yena undilobole??

    I wanted this baby, that is one thing I dont regret. I just didnt forsee it coming with this much baggage. Im staying put at my moms, umntu that has a problem can come and fetch the lobola money – ndiyaphinda nditsho.

  23. I will he spending NYE here at home with the twins. A bottle of R&R will be right next to me. Alternatively we can go to church. I ain’t doing any bash.

  24. P-w0 okay I hear you, that men has a liver for days, I don’t think it will be a wise thing to continue nale situationship yenu, its not healthy at all. Nonetheless strength to you sister. Like who goes mia to their partners for days and expect to be taken back like nothing happened??? I’m sure zangeyakwehlela usajola now umshadweni??? Hai phephisa.

  25. Hey P-wo I think you are a brave girl! You deserve so much more.. you have a mother who is readily available for you that’s a whole lot more than some people can say! You honestly do not need a man that doesn’t treat you right.
    I have a friend.. she married this one guy; they were so in love.. this is my friend from varsity ( her hubby is part of the clever blacks twitter) or should I say Tasha’s ANC lol… anyway I digress.. we all we’re doing great ; she got married and made one big mistake at work… it was one hell of a big f***k up. Obviously she was fired and other big things that followed. In the midst of all that she fell pregnant gave birth to a beautiful baby.. these two were the perfect couple I tell you. My friend then had to pick up the pieces of her life.. and look for a job which she succeeded, her hubby is also in corporate. They are doing ok. Now on to the funny part of this story… there is a lady I worked with she was having an affair with my friend’s (the described girl) father ages ago… he is somewhat of a blesser I have heard. I was very disappointed but ke it was non of my business… the affair lasted for a bit! A year or so. Father is married but not to my friends mother… fast forward to 2 weeks ago I bump into this ex colleague at a woolies holding hands with my friend’s hubby… he was shocked to see me but he was cool me and the ex colleague caught up and exchanged numbers etc and promised to keep in touch.. I check this ex colleague’s WhatsApp pro pic it’s the two of them( her and my friends hubby) mind you this friend is one of the people I kind of distanced myself from.. she actually didn’t do anything to me but it was a case of new spaces.. and trying to walk away from anything that links me to the past. She is the friend that checks up on me now and again. So here I just assumed that maybe they have since divorced, because in any case guy was not wearing a ring. The ex colleague sends me a hey message on WhatsApp we then chat.. and nami I say you look happy says she been with her boo for 4 months they met on tinder etc… besides the fact that I learnt that the guy is still very much married to my friend, there is also the issue of her ex being the said boo’s father in law. She asked me where I knew the boo from I kind of said he is friends with my ex.. which is partially true..! It’s really bugging me.. my hubby says I must tell my friend but me thinks it’s non of my business BUT I really want to tell the side that the man you are with is married to your ex’s daughter.. I mean she is not my friend; I have nothing to lose. Hubby thinks that it’s mean.. I must leave it to my friend to decide what to do… disclaimer: if you connect any dots I’d appreciate an email not an expose on JC thanks!

  26. @Nelly this is too deep, yes it’s non of your business but I think since you chat with this girl just tell her she’s dating your friends husband you have nothing to loose she will then decide kwenzekani isaqala lento mos. And that hubby must be worried you will tell your friend but ke since you not that close leave her.

  27. I think I will text the side and explain to her where I’m coming from… if she chooses to tell her boo or be funny it’s ok. I mean even if she wants to make it work; if the boo of it discovers that she was sleeping with his father in law.. I know if I was a man and heard that I would cringe!

  28. Nelly, it’s complicated. Do tell your friend, prevention is better than cure. The way I’m scared of diseases. Also business does a married man have on tinder? This guy will bring diseases to your friend

  29. Hello bahlali
    Bengicela ningsize nge information of any weave supplying company or person oreliable, nginabant abaning abafuna iynwele who have seen the few weaves i have manje hairdresser wam uyanqaba isizulu ukungitshela kuth uthengaph. I want to make extra cash for myself in the new year.

    On the NYE note
    Wishing everyone a happy new year
    🙁 im stuck @ work for the whole weekend worse part its night duty

  30. Lol at your disclaimer, @Nelley. In such situations Mina I always insist the guy iyoziceba yona. I keep no man’s dirty secrets, chest too full of my friends’ secrets, akusena space

  31. Eish @nells thats a hard one dear. I think its fair for the wife (ur friend) to know and she can then decide whether to stay or leave. Chances are ex colleage knows that guy is married and is playing along like the likes of Pinks. Im also scared of diseases and mental stress that comes with cheating. That guy being on tinder as a married man is just a low blow for the wife. Good luck. I can imagine its not easy to have that info at ur disposal and not know what to do with it…

  32. For the first time in yrs I’ve decided to come home to spend both Xmas and NYE at home,but my mother is not about that life shame.she has been asking me since the 26th when will I be now,to give her a peace of mind,I’m hitting the road back to my crib.maybe she needs her
    when I get to GP I will either go to church or hook up with my brothers and their wives,when they left home on the 26th they were not happy with me because some of Their friends where warming up to me and looking at me with those eyes that says “stop calling us ‘buti’,you are our size,how about…”…lol
    The one brother in particular was so crossed as though I’m the one inviting his friends’ wondering eyes

  33. YR hawu just date the poor guy…! You just might find ur forever looool.

    sifelani… I did think of reaching out to my friend’s husband to sort it out himself but I realized it will create more problems than necessary. Things like eh chap ur snobbish ex wife is meddling in my business no wonder u left that b.. and stuff like that.. yhhuuu soze

    I think the side is where I will start she will decide what to do with the info. Or I just tell the friends father mos*hides! Just send him a WhatsApp and say I think u need to speak to ur son in law. He is stepping out on ur child and then send him the pic from WhatsApp…he has no clue that I know he used to tap that! So he will protect me and in turn shut shit down

  34. Ndiyeza ke apho @P-wo undibekele ishlunu please. U 2016 ndimvala with a bang,just found out that my sister loathes me, this she revealed to our cousin. I’m numb, I’ve always suspected that she had an issue with me but to go as far as saying uyandizonda hayi I didn’t see this coming so today I will be drinking alone not in the mood to be around people

    A blessed and a Happy New Year dearest JC bloggers

  35. @Myfairlady, askies. I know how that feels. Let her be, she’ll talk to you when she is ready or whatever. My friend problem is I have been planning a trip with my bff since forever, she used to save the money in my account and then borrow from it till there was nothing left. This year she managed to save but she shut down every destination and the dates I chose, her reasons varied from she had a work trip (that she didn’t go to), she had to be in church for christmas (she didn’t go) she eventually picked one package and when she was supposed to show up she said she will meet me along the way. Mind you this means I would have had to travel 1000kms+ on my own with strangers. I decided to just stay @ home. I know she borrowed her abusive boyfriend her spending money for the trip but she doesn’t want to tell me. She also let it slip that he was jealous about her going on the trip without him and I think that’s why she was reluctant to go. Next year its just me and Xhosa guy accents in Cape Town!! I am done forcing things.

  36. @Nelly I have learned to keep my mouth shut when it comes to other people’s business. If I were you I’d forget I saw anything. That’s just me, you never know what happens behind closed doors
    My NYE is quite boring, just like any other day – chilling with the family, watching cartoons 95% of the time. My FB has been throwing hints on some “what we have is more than sex”. He wanted me to spend NYE with him, but I couldn’t – personal reasons. So he called and basically told me he feels an emotional connection between us. I don’t know what to do with this younglin. Feels good to be wanted/loved though. Hope 2017 will be kinder where the love department is concerned.

  37. Happy new year guys !!! May it be exceptional to us all!

    I sent my ex colleague a message and told her. She told me that the guy is separated and living in his own apartment. Needless to say she was surprised when I told her that the wife is her ex sugar daddy’s daughter. Seems quite smitten cos she is adamant it won’t come out. Nami I was happy for her … I will not dig deeper.. I did all I could.

  38. Happy Happy everyone!!

    VBecks, will email you. I had such a lazy couple of days, didn’t even bother going out phezolo.

  39. My boyfriend n i luv double penetration whereby he’d fuck me in the ass and i would use dildo in my vjj, this morning he asked if we cud get an extra guy. Is he gay? Or is this normal?

  40. I didn’t feel AKA ,emtee n chomee s performance on ths cumduze sabc1 thing lastnyt. Chomee looked n sounded tired, emtee was drunk n AKA high af . N our queen is Mrs Forbes? How,when I mean…. ohk

  41. My 2 months old daughter slept ka 3 am ths morning,ke ‘re 12 ha e sharp a she was playing n mumbling. I swear shethinks she is 9 months already. Now she is sleeping with his uncle the whole day Okare ne a nwa le ena . #motherhood

  42. Extra guy, o tlo dira mang? Mayb hez bi or wa explorer nje .
    Too much spice if u ask me, niggr must just come out. Yvonne u tried fingering him ?

  43. @retha Extra guy, o tlo dira mang? Mayb hez bi or wa explorer nje .
    Too much spice if u ask me, niggr must just come out. Yvonne u tried fingering him ?

  44. Deadklaar i am a bit lost as well he said “uzo replacer le dildo uyi thandayo” so already it now looks like he is doing it for me but im doubtful. I told hm i need to think abt this…

  45. @Teddie wherever you are, please balance me. Why didn’t Mama Panther wish the Dj a happy birthday on the 30th. Is there tea there or nope?

  46. @retha hhayi hhayi hhayi, my man asking for another man to join us in the bedroom is definitely something I would worry about. Why? He’s not doing it for you. Men are very selfish when it comes to sharing their women sexually hence they don’t forgive when they catch us cheating. I’m not very clued up ngezindaba ze LGBT but hhayi kuna something lana sisi ngeke.

  47. Happy new year everyone! I am taking the bloggers advise(Zamokuhle)starting some business this year need to put my work experience into use for once for my own benefit..i have a question though-I would like to know if i will need some sort of licence or certification to sell home made products,anyone who knows please can you direct me in the right direction.ive tried googling and all i get is for food products..

  48. @Retha perhaps the thought of him sharing you turns him on and he wants you to be satisfied. Tell me something, is your anus still fully functional? I’ve always wanted to try anal but was told I will lose functionality down there so I’m a bit shy to try,

    Ladies has anyone used hair city to buy hair? Is it good quality?

  49. When Being Single Just Feels Hard

    I never quite know when those moments will come, when the weight of being single will come crashing down upon my chest.

    Those moments have been fewer and farther between over the past few years.

    But without fail, they always come.

    And boy, they’ll knock the wind out of you.


    For me, it’s always moments. I’ve never been one to really get down and stay down for days or weeks on end about being single. It’s more random moments that hit fast and hit hard, and then take awhile to process and bounce back from.

    I wish I could say that I have learned over the years to predict when those moments will come. Sure, there are some of the obvious triggers like weddings, or holidays, or even just scrolling through Facebook feeds filled with happy couples and babies and families galore. But more often than not, it is the tiniest of things that unexpectedly cause a catch in my throat and fill my eyes with tears. Like watching a couple I’m with exchange a knowing look and smile. Or coming home with some great news with no one there waiting. Or waking up for the thousandth morning in a row next to an empty pillow. Or walking into church or a party or gathering alone. Or watching freaking Parenthood, where even watching the roller coaster of those relationships leaves me wishing I had a Joel or Adam or Crosby of my own.

    It’s like grief, the way those feelings sneak up on you without warning and then instantly overtake you. And while sometimes I’m in public or in the middle of a project and have to just block out those feelings and press on, I have learned from experience over the years that it’s best to just ride out the wave. And not overanalyze everything. Because after days or weeks or years of staying strong and holding it together, usually the best thing in the world is to yield to the grief and let it out.


    For those who aren’t single, I know it might sound melodramatic to associate being single with grief. But I have come to believe that’s exactly what it is at times.

    Let me be clear. I love my life, single and all. And I have written a handful of times on here before about how I’ve found many things about the single life to be empowering and awesome. And I absolutely believe in living life — wherever it finds you — to the fullest. But that doesn’t change the fact that I still would love to be married, and that I have dreamed dreams and hoped hopes over the years that simply were left unmet. And I grieve those things.

    I grieve the fact that I didn’t get to experience young love and marriage like so many of my friends, and alongside so many of those friends. I grieve the fact that I didn’t get to meet my husband when we were in the smooth-skinned, wrinkle-free, heads-full-of-hair, bursting-with-energy “prime” of our youth. I grieve that a guy never got to see me lead worship in my first job, and I never got to cheer him on with his first promotion, and stay up late dreaming and planning where our careers would lead. I grieve that we didn’t get to choose all of our “firsts” together — first city, first home, first set of pots and pans, first Craigslisted-couch, first dog, first car, first broken toilet that we fix together, and on and on. I grieve that — even if I do meet someone — we will in some ways be years behind so many of my peers in experiencing all of those “firsts” of marriage, and being newlyweds, and starting a family, and quite simply just getting to really know everything about each other. I grieve that my age is becoming an increasing factor in whether or not having kids of our own would even be possible. I grieve that there is no one on the horizon.

    Sure, I can play devil’s advocate on all of these. And I often do with myself, because I absolutely know that the years I’ve been single have (for the most) part been wonderful. And if a guy does happen to come along in the future, I also know that relationship will be great in its own special way. But that doesn’t discount the fact that I had dreams of how I hoped things would go. And when those dreams or prayers were not answered as I had hoped, something deep inside me just aches.


    Really, that’s the best word I can use to describe the really hard days and moments that I have being single. It’s heartache, in the most literal and emotional way. You know the feeling, when a weight presses down on your chest so hard that you can barely breathe, and then somehow buries deep into your soul? That kind of ache.

    It’s not really jealousy. Trust me, I struggle with jealousy and comparison in all sorts of other areas of life. But with relationships, I’ve strangely always been encouraged by watching other good marriages. It’s also not really anger either. Occasionally I get mad about the situation and vent to friends or have it out with God. But even with God, as counter-whatever it may seem, I’ve always felt like He gets that grief more than anyone. And He has seen me through so many years and I don’t doubt He will continue to do so. So there’s no one or nothing really to be mad at.

    No, I think the main thing I feel is just that ache of sadness. Sad that I’m still walking this road. Sad that it is downright exhausting at times doing life on your own. Sad that I have absolutely no idea or hint of what lies ahead. Sad because I would just love the chance to love. Sad that there’s a decent chance that might never happen for me.

    Some days, my heart just aches.


    I’m not going to package this up with a nice pretty bow and a list of 5 steps for how to handle these moments. Because if I read that in someone else’s post, it would probably make me cringe. But mostly because, like I said, I honestly don’t think there’s a ton to “do”.

    Sometimes I cry, sometimes I pray, sometimes I call a friend, sometimes I go for a walk, sometimes I just snuggle with my dog, sometimes I make myself a bowl of my favorite egg drop soup. But most times, I try my best to just be present in the moment and listen to my heart. Sometimes a specific issue will rise to the surface about being single that I need to deal with, maybe on my own, or with God, or something I should bring up with a group of friends or a therapist or something. But I’ve come to find that most of the time, I’m usually just sad and that’s all there is to it.

    And that’s ok.

    So yeah. I’m still that someone who’s all about enjoying life being single, and feeling empowered and chasing after dreams and living life to the fullest. But I’m also someone who has spent plenty of time in the valleys, learning the outlines of the shadows that come with this territory when all seems lost. And I’ve come to believe these moments are just as important as the highs.

    But as my old pastor used to say, the worst thing is never the last thing. And somehow, the light and joy that come with the morning always come again. Always.

    So to any of you dear friends who find yourself in the midst of those hard days, I raise my glass to you and the courage and strength it takes to get through. And I offer that you’re not alone. And remind you — and myself — that it will get better

  50. This article couldn’t have come at a better time.I’m in my late twenties and could definitely relate to this. For many of you that have been blessed with a family be thankful since some of us are still waiting and hoping for it!
    Being single is extremely difficult especially once you’ve achieved all ur life goals i.e degree, job, a car and a house and all you need is that one person to spend the rest of ur life with:(

  51. This is for JC30+ ngoba ya’ll have a spirit of discernment.

    Is it possible for a person ukuthi ayofaka u petrol ngeholidi, before 7 o’clock ekseni bese eyowasha imoto? Ebethe ethe ngayizolo ukhathele ukufa. Ngibone ubhutiza ong’shelayo ekseni ngoba ngiya for a walk ekseni. I think ungibonile, wangiziba, inkinga angibonanga ubehamba noba.

    #Ayalimaza #ngekeNgisalimala #NgicashekuJESU #Ningalimali

    Ukukholwa kwami, akusho ukuthi ngifile, ngisashelwa yebo!

  52. I was never ready for Riky Rick’s package. The last video he posted on the Gram. Dzammn!!!

  53. @res.q im also assuming that she called but yes it raises an eyebrow since they were so close at some point such that PT was taking the DJ’s battles with AKA and B* personally. So i was also expectinf an insta\twitter\FB wish.

    In other news, did you see how Zinhle posted a prada bag that Brendon bought for her… I found this a bit childish since B* posted that Gucci that AKA posted.

    In my opinion i think she is trying really hard… like really…

  54. My husband left me on the 31st at 11pm.
    We were having an argument and next thing he packs his bags and says he’s done with us, he’s not coming back.
    I’m broken beyond imagination. I feel like he was waiting for the right moment to make the exit.
    I’m planning to move out as well, everything in this house reminds me of him and I can’t handle it. I won’t be taking anything, just sentimental gifts given to me by friends and family.i will even leave all the stuff I bought. I don’t even want his money or spousal support (I’m a house wife). I’m saying that because when he started the business I put my savings (from my previous job) to start up the company.
    I’d get an allowance as well as a salary from the business seeing that it was a joint venture to start it.
    I’m leaving all of that. My sister reckons I deserve that money, and all the stuff I bought.
    But I feel like I need to start on a clean slate, it was never about the money, I genuinely love the man he is. And I also wanna show him that I was here for the love, not for what he could offer.
    Finding a job won’t be a problem neither will be accumulating material goods, I just don’t know if my heart will handle it all. I haven’t told my parents, it will devastate them. I honestly never imagined my life without him, but God knows I did everything I could and I fought with my all to make our marriage work.

    Reading many of your stories I learnt that I need to love myself enough and never settle for less.
    I have fought, I have begged, I have bargained, I accepted bull… that I wasn’t supposed to accept all in the name of fighting for my marriage.
    The odds have been against me from word go. I’ve had people moon me, but because I’m a Christian and don’t believe in going that route, I prayed till I turned blue in the face (not blaming mooning, but it did have its effects). Basically my conscience is clear, I did all I could do. I do wish things were different though but what can I say? I’m so so hurt…
    Amadoda aya limaza impela.

  55. @125ddd Ditto!!! My thoughts exactly about the Dj. Very childish. It’s as if the 2 couples are competing some what. For the Dj’s sake I hope it works out with the Indian guy.

  56. After 6 years together through all the ups and downs I was the MainBae (so I thought ) until he disappeared on new years eve and phoned on the 1st around 11 pm putting me on loud speaker , saying “asisathandani nawe, I said okay,thn the lady said at the background, tell her thn bhuti wathi “angsakudingi empilweni yami ”
    #Nomore Bae Crop

  57. @res.q. It’ like you read my post earlier. I mentioned that i hope it works out for her. She is going to be so embarrased if it fails again. See what happend to Pearl Moody after she made her engagement public and splashing it in mags and online.

    The DJ comes accross as immature and unneccesarily competitive. The Prada bag post makes her look tremendously desperate and pathetic. *yes i am judging her* but each to thier own.

  58. ayalimaza guyzini amadoda. Just found out that bae is cheating, lapho we on our way back from baecation. angazi ngenze njan ma eh….I am so heartbroken.

  59. Tjo!! Sorry ladies! Stay strong. Put on your armour and fight the pain and stress that comes with the bs you are going through.

    My 2 wishes for 2017 is to finally get a permanent job or get into the programme I want!!

  60. Your wishes are similar to mine @Brokenfleur. I pray this is the year God remembers me

    So sorry @Ndile @KingBey and @tummytums 🙁 *hugs*

  61. @Tummy and Ndile…strength to you ladies. Can i tell you something for nothing. My ex husband divorced me for a 19 year old guy. He had been emotionally and physically abusive in the 6 years that we were together… he cheated on me with a woman at his work place and God knows who else. When he was dicorcing me he made friends with my best friends and lied to them about me and manipulated them so they became his friends and even friends of his new 19yr old gf… these were people that i had known for years and we were so tight. I was beyond destroyed and my self esteem was in the toilet.

    But guess what??? I slowly began to pick myself up and 2 years later i have a better Job, im a mom to 2 beautiful twins. Ive learned to love and value myself in such a way that i will never give anyone immunity to hurt me or lie to me or play games with me. If people want to leave us… Ladies…Listen to this very carefully, OPEN THAT DOOR FOR THEM SO WIDE AND THROW THE KEY AWAY AFTER THAT SO THAT THE NEVER HAVE A CHANCEBTO HURT AND HUMILIATE YOU AGAIN. WHEN YOU REACH THAT LEVEL OF SELF LOVE, YOU WILL NEVER EVER ACCEPT LESS.

    I trust that you ladies will find your healing. Stay put please. #Ayalimaza Only If We Allow Them To Limaza Us.

  62. Yhu Thixo, @Ndile, @Tummytums, @KingBey – my heart breaks for you! Cry, scream, do all, but when the crying is done, get up, dust yourself off and continue. I like to see the spiritual in everything ke mna, so I will say the fact that this happened at the beginning of the year, it allows you to start afresh and to set the tone for the rest of year. I feel your pain so much, but I can safely say that you will be fine again. use this to propel you on the bigger and better. Whatever happens, please do not allow your hearts to harden, because that will shift the power from you again. Use this time to get to know yourself again, and to fall in love with yourself again…there is more ahead of you than what lies behind you. Sending lots of xoxo

  63. Guys, what is wrong with our men that they hate our women so much! It really does feel like such a targeted attack on the black woman, for all the things they put us through. #menaretrash

  64. It is so damn tough, those who are getting it right please share. Group hug to all of u ladies going through such painful ordeals, may God heal your hearts.

  65. Guys leave Zinhle alone.OMG, HOW.WEIRD.Like everyone else,Zinhle is social-media-ring. To impress you,me,us,them. That’s what people on the gram DO.

    @Tummytums,my heart breaks for you. I know nothing we say now will help. Even if you knew that he doesn’t deserve you,you still want and love him,and that’s all that matters to you. The timing can’t be an accident. The universe really is conspiring to give you a new,fresh life. A new beginning, chapter 2. Please take the money, its yours,ha o e rapele. At least use It to get back on your feet. Sending you strength.

    @Ndile,men can be crap(sometimes I wonder why I’m attracted to them).Please heal,and strengthen yourself from this.

  66. “they cheat cause there is someone willing to cheat with them” Queen B

    Used to date this guy who cheated a lot (think Maje) he would blame it on distance.
    He was my 1st so I couldn’t just break up with him.
    2015 he made 2 girls pregnant.
    We broke up. But December we were together again (festive fling) I demoted myself Yaz :'(
    Baby number 1 died he came straight to see me after the funeral.
    Now he came with his other baby mama and the baby this December but he would still call me late at night and we would chat non stop. He apologized about how he broke my heart and how he wanted to marry me but now he is forced (parents and Religion) to marry the mother of his child.

    I wasn’t even mad at him. We were chilling together on the 31st cause he didn’t want to go home.

    On the 1st he says he is on his way to Melmoth to find out later that he went there to pay lobola.
    I feel sorry for that girl. She has no idea what she is getting herself into shame.
    I hope I can finally move on from this guy :'(
    I just realized that I helped him cheat on the girl he cheated on me with :'(


  67. Yes @tummy take that money. You can always invest it or something. It will come in handy one day, more so if you have children.

  68. Thank you for your kind words, truly appreciated.
    The money guys. I feel like I want to show him that I was never there for it, maybe it’s pride. He makes good money from his profession, and when I stopped working his family were saying that I just wanna chow his money and all these horrible things. You’d swear they found me poor and upgraded me, whereas I was working, paying for my everything and I come from a well off family. So I feel like they’ll be watching to say they were right.
    So the pride in me wants to show them that these material things mean nothing to me, in fact I will live better than what i was living without a cent from their son. My pride is all I have left…
    I don’t know if I should say luckily there are no kids involved.
    I wish I didn’t love him so much, it would definitely make this so much easier. *wears big girl panties*

  69. I won’t leave the Dj alone especially at your insistence.. Calm yourself down and deal with it..

  70. @tummy, the guy’s family will STILL say their piece whether you take the money or not, that’s just the reality of it. People talk. Just take the money and invest it, no harm in that. But property, lease it out. Pay for a needy student. Whatever. I hope uzoba right

  71. 125ddd, I’m so glad you found your happy ending, no one deserves to go through such. I hope he sees how happy you now are and karma pays him a visit.

    All the ladies who are going through stuff, strength to you. I believe the sun will shine again even though it seems so dark right now.
    I refuse to believe that this is where life ends. We will get our happy endings.

  72. Tjo banyana le tswere bokete hle. All the best to you, the best is yet to come, remember to choose and love yourselves always. Love and Light

  73. @tummytums,I agree,they will talk,but so what? You need to be selfish right now,there’s where your strength will come from,taking care of you,making sure you’re okay. Where were his family when he was breaking your heart? You left your job to make a home for him,to dedicate your time to being his wife. You know your truth,and no matter how loud you shout it,those who don’t want to hear it,won’t. Do you. Take the money,start over,you have nothing more to prove to them than the fact that you’ll still breathe without him(and you will). Its gonna be okay mami,things always have a way of doing that,always.

  74. I’m sorry ladies for what you are going through,but be rest assured,the universe is watching.The very same energies that these men are sending out are bound to return back to them in multiples.
    A male friend just recently experience such,he was busy cheating on his wife,going around telling people how bad the wife is to him,and we all believed him because he was this quite,innocent looking man.Only to find that he was finding comfort in the arms of his tea-lady at workplace.he built this lady a small house and was helping her with his children’s school fees and all.But now,the tea-lady just got married to her long time boyfriend and they are now living happily in that very house that my male friend built.
    He is not in a good emotional state now,he is so broken,was contemplating committing suicide..his wife must be having the last laugh

  75. LMAO @MYYR

    2 days we already have casualties. Let’s really men alone guys,ayikho le. Fok!

    Yaz’ NYE I went to bed at 10pm,after having a chat with a lady I befriended. BD left her after 8 bloody years with a 2 year old. It was like I am going through trauma again.

    Happy and easy new year to everyone! Nawe @Chase

  76. All the Ladies going through tough times whether its relationships, finance, career, studies phephisani it does not rain forever one day the sun will shine, Those going through relationship problems love yourself enough to walk away if it YOU feel its no longer worth it, Zitshele “this is what i learned from my Grandmother” ZITSHELE if you a women, know your worth and know you deserve better tell your partner every now and again ukuthi “phela mina ngiytshela ngiyayazi into engifunayo” because men tend to abuse the fact that we love them.. love is never enough alone. so i plead Ladies dont let a men walk away with your self esteem. its been a year when i broke up with baby daddy/fiance till today i know i made the best decision, it would and still hurts at times but im the happiest i left with my self esteem, i didnt need to rebuild my own self love. nginifisela konke okuhle may God bless you with you heart desires.

  77. I think women in general have that “bekezeling” thing in them. Perhaps that’s why most men find it easy to treat us like trash. It really is true that people treat us the way we allow them to treat is. When you allow nonsense from a man, more nonsense will follow. The minute you see a man trying tricks you should handle that and shut it down immediately and let him know you wont tolerate BS. Amadoda akalimazi niks. We allow them to.

    We need to take our power back and demand respect in relationships. If not they can try the girl next door. I’m so tired of hearing sob stories about men doing women dirty.

    Yaz, it’s clear to see when a man is no longer into you. But we make excuses and stay until he eventually leaves you with no explanation or cheats. And then we cry:”Ayalimaza”

  78. girliegal Jan 3, 2017 at 8:50 am When you allow nonsense from a man, more nonsense will follow. The minute you see a man trying tricks you should handle that and shut it down immediately and let him know you wont tolerate BS.
    i shut down shit real quick, i hate being disrespected.

  79. To the blogger looking to buy hair for selling, try this
    I paid R850 for 4bundles (′), It came cheap because I chose the “free shipping” option. I ordered in December and I am expecting it end of Jan. Yes it takes too long, kodwa I pay a 3/4 of what most women pay for weaves, in the end it looks just as great.
    The hair is excellent, I have ordered from them before.
    The ladies abakhala ngama doda, phephisani. The way you start your year doesn’t mean it’s how it will end. Inhliziyo zenu ziphole, It’s not easy I know, but its doable..
    Wishing all a great 2017, let us be great and flourish this year Ladies.

  80. Morning ladies, it really pains me to read what u guys are going thru so early in the year nogal!. uxolo ladies, nakuni kuzadlula. for the past 2 years I was going thru what u guys are going thru up until last year October hayi ndala ngam Ladies bendivile bubunja bamadoda straight. No matter what a good woman u may be, kodwa indoda yingulube nje. Ide ibebuhlungu intliziyo yakho xa ejola nomntu who is waaaaaaaaay below your standards and u like “really nigga out of all the ladies is that the best u could do”? lol. Namhlanje I can look back and say Enkosi Yesu I distanced myself from such toxic relations, its never easy there are a lot of things and people who are involved BUT really at the end of the day YOU matter,zithande know your self worth.Sometimes its easy said than done ukuthi wohlukane nomntu after u have invested so much in the relationship, but mntanasekhaya zihhoye, and ungamncengi umntana womnye umama tuuu!.

    I agree nawe @Ramzey, we women are so powerful, we know when we are in deep sh*t, we just know it but at often times we choose to ignore it coz u hoping the current one is different from your ex. Ladies lets learn to listen to our instincts, THEY ARE ALWAYS RIGHT, u can never go wrong.

    Enye into which DISGUSTS me, women who help men to cheat, wena ucinga uspecial ngantoni?. Do u even call it happiness mawu busy usineka wen the other woman is crying. Masibuyeke obubhanxa man, masizixabise.

  81. @Ntosh110 Men are not the sun, we teach people how to treat us. and trust if you believe you are dating below your standards… he knows it too. Lets not congratulate ourselves too much, you are not doing another human being a favor by dating them.Why do we get in relationships indeed. Ke eng relationship?

  82. @peekaChew…u know dear in the past I have made that mistake of dating for the sake of dating and bcoz I was so ambitious thinking the guy uzaziphucula as time goes by. But m so over that, Ive grown, I know my worth 🙂 and thanks to women such as u who made me realise that. I have never thought I would be happy and single, but ey I’ve made it and couldn’t have loved myself more!

  83. Complements of the season

    Let’s shut the shit down now women before we deal with sewerage. Wishing you a speedy recovery from those heartaches.

  84. Vompliments of the season,we as women need to understand that you can never be happy ngenyembezi zomnye umfazi, im not saying amadoda enza kahle but 1 day is 1 day 🙂

  85. Molweni. A friend’s husband moved in to our complex a few months ago with the febisto sistas after iseparation. Guy is very unassuming and is obviously not street smart to know that he is just the festive special ku these ladies who are known to sleep with anything that appears on TV, has money or drives a fancy car. Uchap seems very dazed and confused half the time, when he goes to work in the evening, kungena abanye who are more monied than him bazotya nabo. I haven’t told my friend because I’m also going through my own divorce and don’t want to be talking trash ngabantu babantu because people will think ndisour and bitter. Andifuni ukulimaza ifriend ngale info. What’s a girl to do?

  86. Molweni. m outchea reading your comments about man problems and I just realised how some problems are bigger than others. if you read my AG and compare it to yours you will realise you have nice life problems.

    I just received a photo of my young brother s matric result he was doing Maths, Physical Science and Engineering graphics and design in all 7 subjects he got 60% + read (Bachelor) while celebrating the good news i receive a call from big sister who lost her job a year ago that there is absolutely nothing to eat at home they ate bread since morning. M crushed, m numb i have no idea how m gonna get through this especially since they are all looking at me to somehow fill the fridge and ensure my brother registers at varsity.

    M sitting behind my desk with zero cash in my account all i wanna do is go to bed and cry myself to sleep. m a Christian and a true believer but at this stage i feel defeated. 2017 might be a long year ahead for me and fam.